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Here's a frustrating thing about me: if everyone else is happy, I usually can't stay pissed off. My moods are conformists. It sucks, because sometimes you really want to be angry. -- Becky Albertalli
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In the distance, they begin shutting down the rides and turning off lights. There's something beautiful and eerie about a darkened, unmoving Ferris wheel. -- Becky Albertalli
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But I'm tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways. I get a girlfriend. I have a beer. And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again. -- Becky Albertalli
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I'm not going to pretend I know how this ends, and I don't have a freaking clue if it's possible to fall in love over email. But I would really like to meet you, Blue. I want to try this. And I can't imagine a scenario where I don't want to kiss your face off as soon as I see you. -- Becky Albertalli
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I can't seem to shake this perpetual awareness of being Molly. -- Becky Albertalli
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Sometimes it seems like everyone knows who I am except me. -- Becky Albertalli
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I'm glad I was cute and grammatical. I think you're cute and grammatical, too. -- Becky Albertalli
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I mean, that's how it's going to be. It's that easy for Olivia. Maybe this is what life is like for most girls. -- Becky Albertalli
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There's just something terrifying about admitting you like someone. In a way, it's actually easier when there's no chance of anything happening. But there's this threshold where things suddenly become possible. And then your cards are on the table. And there you are, wanting, right out in the open. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's just hard to believe in the concept of Molly-With-a-Boyfriend. -- Becky Albertalli
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And this gay thing. It feels so big. It's almost insurmountable. I don't know how to tell them something like this and still come out of it feeling like Simon. Because if Leah and Nick don't recognize me, I don't even recognize myself anymore. -- Becky Albertalli
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I'm on the toilet at the 9:30 Club and I'm wondering how mermaids pee. -- Becky Albertalli
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We are out and we are alive, and everyone in the universe is out here right now. -- Becky Albertalli
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They put me in a box, and every time I try to nudge the lid open, they slam it back down. It's like nothing about me is allowed to change. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's weird, because Blue's emails used to be this extra thing that was separate from my actual life. But now I think maybe the emails are my life. Everything else sort of feels like I'm slogging through a dream. -- Becky Albertalli
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She's also the kind of person who pretends to ask a question just to show off what she already knows. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's like - you have this baby, and eventually, he starts doing stuff. And I used to be able to see every tiny change, and it was so fascinating." She smiles sadly. "And now I'm missing stuff. The little things. And it's hard to let go of that. -- Becky Albertalli
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I never really know the protocol for this kind of situation. It's like when you're in line at a store, and a grandma starts telling you all about her grandchildren or her arthritis, and you smile and nod along. But then it's your turn to check out, so you're just like okay, well, good-bye forever. -- Becky Albertalli
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Why is straight the default? Everyone should have to declare one way or another, and it shouldn't be this big awkward thing whether you're straight, gay, bi, or whatever. I'm just saying. -- Becky Albertalli
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Honestly, the secret to impressing people is this: individual portions, packaged in mason jars. I -- Becky Albertalli
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And suddenly, I feel like crying, but not in a bad way. More like in the way you feel when someone gives you a perfect present - something you'd been wanting, but thought you couldn't ask for. It's that feeling of someone knowing you in all the ways you needed to be known. -- Becky Albertalli
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I take a sip of my beer, and it's - I mean, it's just astonishingly disgusting. I don't think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I'd rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin. -- Becky Albertalli
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I feel like I'm supposed to make some comment to underscore the ridiculousness of it all, but honestly? It's sort of nice not to have to be cynical for a change. I guess it feels like I'm a part of something. -- Becky Albertalli
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Really, though, there are only two kinds of weather: hoodie weather and weather where you wear a hoodie anyway. -- Becky Albertalli
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Do you ever have those random nights where your brain won't shut off, even though your body feels like five hundred pounds off exhausted? -- Becky Albertalli
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It's really amazing, isn't it? Someone can trigger your sexual identity crisis and not have a clue they're doing it. -- Becky Albertalli
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A dementor," I say. "What in God's holy name is that?" "A dementor? From Harry Potter?" "Well, put your hood back, for the love of Jesus. And who are you supposed to be?" "Kim Kardashian," says Leah, just completely deadpan. Garrett looks confused. "Tohru from Fruits Basket. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's stillness and pressure and rhythm and breathing. -- Becky Albertalli
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I HAVE TO MEET HIM.
I don't think I can keep this up. I don't care if it ruins everything. I'm this close to making out with my laptop screen. -- Becky Albertalli
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Because he thinks Facebook is the lowest common denominator of social discourse. Though he does like to talk about social media as a vehicle for constructing and performing identity. Whatever the hell that means. -- Becky Albertalli
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The way I feel about him is like a heartbeat -- soft and persistent, underlying everything. -- Becky Albertalli
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I mean, here's the thing I don't get. How do people come to expect that their crushes will be reciprocated? Like, how does that get to be your default assumption? -- Becky Albertalli
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I think, for me, listening to music is a very solitary thing. Or maybe that's just something people say when they're too lame to go to live shows. -- Becky Albertalli
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I mean, that's my family. Everything's a freaking secret, because everything's a big deal. Everything is like coming out" -Simon -- Becky Albertalli
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Is that a space?
No, it's a hydrant. -- Becky Albertalli
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The closest thing I've ever had to a journal is probably you. -- Becky Albertalli
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Anyway, thanks for saving my butt. Literally." She shakes her head. "Okay, not my butt." I giggle. "It's okay." "Thanks for saving my labia. -- Becky Albertalli
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My parents have a way of ruining things like this. They get so curious. It's like they have this idea of me, and whenever I step outside of that, it blows their minds. There's something so embarrassing about that in a way I can't even describe. -- Becky Albertalli
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I don't know how people do this. How Blue did this. Two words. Two freaking words, and I'm not the same Simon anymore. -- Becky Albertalli
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There are some socks that shouldn't be washed by your mom. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's not that bikini waxing is a foreign concept to me, but . . . I mean, I guess it kind of is. Like, it's one of those girl habits that's so far beyond me, it makes me feel like a different species. Do boys require hairless vaginas? Is this a known thing? -- Becky Albertalli
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You may actually be the only person who gets more than 140 characters from me. That's kind of awesome, right? -- Becky Albertalli
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Then he smiles and I smile. And then I blush and he lowers his eyes, and it's like this entire pantomime of nervous gestures. -- Becky Albertalli
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He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to. -- Becky Albertalli
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I like no endings. I like things that don't end. -- Becky Albertalli
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teachers think they get to dictate what you think about. It's not enough if you just sit there quietly and let them teach. It's like they think they have a right to control your mind. -- Becky Albertalli
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People really are like house with vast rooms and tiny windows. And maybe it's a good thing, the way we never stop surprising each other. -- Becky Albertalli
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I mean, I think people have this mentality that sex is only real if it involves a penis. -- Becky Albertalli
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You don't get to say it's not a big thing. This is a big fucking thing, okay? This was supposed to be - this is mine. I'm supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it." Suddenly, my throat gets thick. "So, yeah, you took that from me. -- Becky Albertalli
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And you know what? You don't get to say it's not a big thing. This is a big fucking thing, okay? This was supposed to be - this is mine. I'm supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's strange, because in reality, I'm not the leading guy. Maybe I'm the best friend. I guess I didn't really think of myself as interesting until I was interesting to Blue. So I can't tell him. I'd rather not lose him. -- Becky Albertalli
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He tells me to pick the music. I'm not sure if he knows that handing me his iPod is like handing me the window to his soul. -- Becky Albertalli
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So, maybe I should let my heart break, just to prove that my heart can take it. -- Becky Albertalli
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What's a dementor?"
I mean, I can't even. "Nora, you are no longer my sister."
"So it's some Harry Potter thing," she says. -- Becky Albertalli
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And it's almost too perfect. Almost too Disney. -- Becky Albertalli
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Babies here are forced to declare their allegiance to vegetables before -- Becky Albertalli
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Wow, is that Katniss making out with Yoda? -- Becky Albertalli
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I walk in just as the bell is ringing, and I'm in a serious daze. It's lucky that my hands seem to know my locker combination, because my brain has checked out. People talk to me, and I nod along, but absolutely nothing penetrates. -- Becky Albertalli
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I don't even know. I'm just so sick of straight people who can't get their shit together. -- Becky Albertalli
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Where the heck is Nick?" she asks. Just hearing Abby say Nick's name makes Leah suck in her lips. "Feeling up a guitar somewhere?" I suggest. "Yeah," says Leah. "Most awkward way ever to get a splinter. -- Becky Albertalli
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I wish there were a secret signal you could use to communicate: HELLO. I AM OFFICIALLY COOL WITH SILENCE. Not -- Becky Albertalli
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I actually haven't been to Chick-fil-A for a while. My sister heard they donate money to screw over gay people, and I guess it started to feel weird eating there. -- Becky Albertalli
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I want to know what it feels like to have crushes that could conceivably maybe one day turn into boyfriends. -- Becky Albertalli
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I guess it's just this feeling that my body is secretly all wrong. Which means any guy who assumes I'm normal is going to flip his shit if we get to the point of nakedness. Whoa. Nope. Not what I signed up for. -- Becky Albertalli
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I feel irrelevant. I hate that. -- Becky Albertalli
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it just feels like i'm on the outside somehow. not all the time, just sometimes. but yeah, i feel irrelevant and i hate that -- Becky Albertalli
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Puberty is merciless. -- Becky Albertalli
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I don't know. There's just something kind of mortifying to me about the intensity of those feelings. I remember them so clearly. -- Becky Albertalli
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I'm too busy trying not to be in love with someone who isn't real. -- Becky Albertalli
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Wonder Woman and a gay dementor. It doesn't bode well for the survival of the species. -- Becky Albertalli
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Because I have to admit: there's something really badass about truly, honestly not caring what people think about you. -- Becky Albertalli
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White shouldn't be the default any more than straight should be the default. There shouldn't even be a default. -- Becky Albertalli
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stuffing my face with fun-size Kit Kats. Which, for the record, are way less fun than full-size Kit Kats. I -- Becky Albertalli
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I have a sneaking suspicion that you're not 100% committed to your Oreo diet. -- Becky Albertalli
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I think every relationship is actually a million relationships. -- Becky Albertalli
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It's just a lot of me. Way too much of me. -- Becky Albertalli
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There's something about you that makes me want to open up, and that's slightly terrifying to me. -- Becky Albertalli
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But there's this thing I feel when I meet another Jewish person in the wild. It's like a secret invisible high five. -- Becky Albertalli
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Nothing is worse than the secret humiliation of being insulted by proxy. -- Becky Albertalli
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If it is a glance about me, I will die. We are amused by the sad chubby girl who is clearly enchanted by our hipster beauty. -- Becky Albertalli
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I mean, I feel secure in my masculinity, too. Being secure in you masculinity isn't the same as being straight. -- Becky Albertalli
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There shouldn't even be a default. -- Becky Albertalli
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I'm not trying to overthink things. I'm trying to be less careful. But you have to be your heart's own goalie. -- Becky Albertalli
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People are shameless when it comes to cake. It's -- Becky Albertalli