Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Bob Hope, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Bob Hope quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 237 Bob Hope quotes for you to read and share.

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I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks. -- Bob Hope
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club. -- Bob Hope
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Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass. -- Bob Hope
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A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope
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In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much. -- Bob Hope
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The high point of the act is when he (Uri Durov) puts his head inside the bear's huge jaws. I wouldn't even try that with my agent. -- Bob Hope
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There's a very apt saying in show business: "If you don't go over budget in Paris, you're either very rich or very sick. " -- Bob Hope
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I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half. -- Bob Hope
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When you get over 95, every day is your day. -- Bob Hope
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Miniskirts have become quite a fad. They're even some guys wearing them. Don't laugh, if you had thought to of that, you'd not be here now. -- Bob Hope
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I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair. -- Bob Hope
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It flies so high, I swear I heard the organs playing. -- Bob Hope
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Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me." And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other! -- Bob Hope
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You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before. -- Bob Hope
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Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - just for me. -- Bob Hope
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Isn't it fun to go out on the course and lie in the sun? -- Bob Hope
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Celebrities have a way of touching our lives. Perhaps we are influenced by their screen image, or perhaps by their acquired status. Here are some celebrity quotes about Christmas. You will find that just like everybody else, celebrities also enjoy the little pleasures of Christmas. -- Bob Hope
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Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends. -- Bob Hope
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing! -- Bob Hope
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Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people. -- Bob Hope
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I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. -- Bob Hope
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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold. -- Bob Hope
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Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.' -- Bob Hope
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Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world. -- Bob Hope
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Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that? -- Bob Hope
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Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It's going to get us out of the house after dark! -- Bob Hope
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She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. -- Bob Hope
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After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can. -- Bob Hope
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Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn. -- Bob Hope
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I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell. -- Bob Hope
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I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on the back of a dinosaur. -- Bob Hope
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It's very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better. -- Bob Hope
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to. -- Bob Hope
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I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do? -- Bob Hope
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Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me. -- Bob Hope
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? -- Bob Hope
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT. -- Bob Hope
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It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets. -- Bob Hope
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He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150. -- Bob Hope
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I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. -- Bob Hope
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I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke. -- Bob Hope
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If my golf game was a prize fight, they'd stop it. -- Bob Hope
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I was lucky I wasn't a better boxer, or that's what I'd be now - a punchy ex-pug. -- Bob Hope
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You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it. -- Bob Hope
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No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties -- Bob Hope
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I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals. -- Bob Hope
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My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one. -- Bob Hope
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Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns. -- Bob Hope
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The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent's handshake. -- Bob Hope
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You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages. -- Bob Hope
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It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division. -- Bob Hope
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Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support? -- Bob Hope
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I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. -- Bob Hope
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I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. -- Bob Hope
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Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show. -- Bob Hope
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He was bare chested and in good trim. I said that just looking at him I knew there would always be an England -- Bob Hope
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The home videos aren't as good, but they are seeming to get better. -- Bob Hope
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It's in the lease. -- Bob Hope
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people who throw kisses are helplessly lazy -- Bob Hope
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I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it? -- Bob Hope
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them. -- Bob Hope
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I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. -- Bob Hope
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My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade. -- Bob Hope
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The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles. -- Bob Hope
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It's amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn't sell theirs threw them away. -- Bob Hope
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers. -- Bob Hope
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Zsa Zsa Gabor got married as a one-off, and it was so successful she turned it into a series. -- Bob Hope
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With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films. -- Bob Hope
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The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark ... -- Bob Hope
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green -- Bob Hope
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We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf. -- Bob Hope
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Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it's also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members. -- Bob Hope
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Please don't stand up on my account. -- Bob Hope
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Gerry Ford is easy to spot on the course. He drives the cart with the red cross painted on top. -- Bob Hope
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A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? -- Bob Hope
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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. -- Bob Hope
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Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy. -- Bob Hope
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Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you'll promise her anything. -- Bob Hope
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Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees. -- Bob Hope
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It was a typically British birth ... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward ... I came out in sympathy. -- Bob Hope
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We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes. -- Bob Hope
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough. -- Bob Hope
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We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back. -- Bob Hope
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As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob ... if you can see it, it's obsolete." -- Bob Hope
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That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score. -- Bob Hope
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Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. -- Bob Hope
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US President Gerald Ford's golf was so bad we thought he was a 'Hitman for the PGA! -- Bob Hope
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. -- Bob Hope
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes. The only troulbe is that when I win, I always have to engage and attorney before I can draw the money. -- Bob Hope
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Vice President Spiro Agnew can not cheat on his score : because all you have to do is look back down the fairway and count the wounded. -- Bob Hope
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots. -- Bob Hope
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Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. -- Bob Hope
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The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage. -- Bob Hope
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. -- Bob Hope
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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it. -- Bob Hope
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Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don't worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it. -- Bob Hope
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens. -- Bob Hope
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If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it. -- Bob Hope
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons. -- Bob Hope
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table. -- Bob Hope
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If he slices the budget like he slices a golf ball, the nation has nothing to worry about. -- Bob Hope
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Lots of travel, away from home. -- Bob Hope
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I knew the President would run for reelection in 1984. Why not? Actors love sequels ... and returns. -- Bob Hope
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Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. -- Bob Hope
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Failure is the only thing I've ever been a success at. -- Bob Hope
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Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. -- Bob Hope
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I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there. -- Bob Hope
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking. -- Bob Hope
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I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.' -- Bob Hope
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that. -- Bob Hope
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My folks were English ... we were too poor to be British. -- Bob Hope
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins. -- Bob Hope
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Everybody knows what California smog is - that's fog with the vitamins removed. -- Bob Hope
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Pebble Beach is Alcatraz with grass. -- Bob Hope
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Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags. -- Bob Hope
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My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off! -- Bob Hope
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I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House. -- Bob Hope
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As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell. -- Bob Hope
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There are many talented English personalities, but unfortunately they were all in Hollywood. -- Bob Hope
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Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink. -- Bob Hope
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Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls. -- Bob Hope
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I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is. -- Bob Hope
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Louis B. Mayer came out west with $28.00, a box camera and an old lion. He built a monument to himself
the Bank of America. -- Bob Hope
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I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far. -- Bob Hope
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President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes. -- Bob Hope
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I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas. -- Bob Hope
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip. -- Bob Hope
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Baseball is a soap opera that plays out day after day, one that a lot of elderly women watch until the characters and the plot becomes a part of their life. She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family. -- Bob Hope
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Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent ... he's not rich enough to be a Republican. -- Bob Hope
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. -- Bob Hope
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. -- Bob Hope
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Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy. -- Bob Hope
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I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them. -- Bob Hope
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I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. -- Bob Hope
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It sure has been a pleasure for us to broadcast for the sailors and soldiers; besides, its part of the National Defence Program to prepare our boys for anything. -- Bob Hope
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Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in. -- Bob Hope
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You've got to be rich to have a swing like that. -- Bob Hope
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Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover. -- Bob Hope
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents. -- Bob Hope
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I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters. -- Bob Hope
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The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it. -- Bob Hope
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Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency. -- Bob Hope
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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned how to dance- waiting for the bathroom. -- Bob Hope
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I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there. -- Bob Hope
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. -- Bob Hope
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The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned. -- Bob Hope
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And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost. -- Bob Hope
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting. -- Bob Hope
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I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else. -- Bob Hope
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I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive. I have to bring him in from Lourdes. -- Bob Hope
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I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. -- Bob Hope
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If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. -- Bob Hope
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Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome. -- Bob Hope
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I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me. -- Bob Hope
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag. -- Bob Hope
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever. -- Bob Hope
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A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal. -- Bob Hope
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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. -- Bob Hope
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The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top. -- Bob Hope
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I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King. -- Bob Hope
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Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time. -- Bob Hope
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Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning. -- Bob Hope
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Every Naval vessel has a contingent of Marines aboard. After all, the Sailors have to have someone to dance with. -- Bob Hope
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When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. -- Bob Hope
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I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it. -- Bob Hope
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The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life. -- Bob Hope
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I'm from Los Angeles ... I don't trust any air I can't see. -- Bob Hope
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Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies -- Bob Hope
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My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun. -- Bob Hope
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In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did. -- Bob Hope
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I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them. -- Bob Hope
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything. -- Bob Hope
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If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. -- Bob Hope
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Until you've seen them, you have no conception of their courage. -- Bob Hope
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I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected. -- Bob Hope
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We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first tee shot. -- Bob Hope
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A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. -- Bob Hope
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You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry. -- Bob Hope
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Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico! -- Bob Hope
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It's not hard to find Gerry Ford on a golf course - you just follow the wounded. -- Bob Hope
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I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people. -- Bob Hope
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Free speech isn't dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers ... -- Bob Hope
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When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in. -- Bob Hope
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It's a wonderful way to live, and not a bad way to go, either. The average Frenchman is still smiling three months after he's dead. -- Bob Hope
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Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole. -- Bob Hope
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It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV. -- Bob Hope
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Rock and roll is catching on all over ... France ... England ... They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo. -- Bob Hope
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I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four. -- Bob Hope
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Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. -- Bob Hope
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I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality. -- Bob Hope
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Television. That's where movies go when they die. -- Bob Hope
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When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. -- Bob Hope
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Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music. -- Bob Hope
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Our first stop was red square, the heart of Moscow - if Moscow has one. -- Bob Hope
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The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. -- Bob Hope
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If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right. -- Bob Hope
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government. -- Bob Hope
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I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters. -- Bob Hope
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I can still chase women, only downhill -- Bob Hope
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six. -- Bob Hope
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If they liked you, they didn't applaud
they let you live. -- Bob Hope
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time. -- Bob Hope
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They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. -- Bob Hope
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Television is the box they buried entertainment in. -- Bob Hope
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Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother. -- Bob Hope
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Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued. -- Bob Hope
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Seventy years of ad-lib material, and I am speechless. -- Bob Hope
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I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie. -- Bob Hope
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. -- Bob Hope
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation. -- Bob Hope
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I tell jokes to pay my green fees. -- Bob Hope
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees. -- Bob Hope
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Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses? -- Bob Hope
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. -- Bob Hope
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Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering. -- Bob Hope
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I've never heard of a clean one. -- Bob Hope
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if you were to be loved be loveable -- Bob Hope
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands -- Bob Hope
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English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie ... in the shower. -- Bob Hope
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I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything. -- Bob Hope
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I have too much money invested in sweaters. -- Bob Hope
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People who blow kisses are hoplessly lazy. -- Bob Hope
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I made so many B pictures I began to get fan mail from hornets...and for me that was an improvement. -- Bob Hope
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Whenever I play with him , I usually try to make it a foursome - the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer. -- Bob Hope
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. -- Bob Hope
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Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for. -- Bob Hope
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I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. -- Bob Hope
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The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. -- Bob Hope
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To give you an idea of how fast we travelled - we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two. -- Bob Hope
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls. -- Bob Hope
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream. -- Bob Hope
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England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there. -- Bob Hope
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She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. -- Bob Hope
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career. -- Bob Hope
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The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I've encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE - and a maid to press it for me. -- Bob Hope
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I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar! -- Bob Hope
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You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. -- Bob Hope