Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Caitlin Moran, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Caitlin Moran quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 321 Caitlin Moran quotes for you to read and share.

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It was the Spice Girls who messed it all up. And obviously, the appropriating of the phrase "girl power", which at that point overrode any notion of feminism, and which was a phrase that meant absolutely nothing apart from being friends with your girlfriends. -- Caitlin Moran
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Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine. Kylie Minogue is feminine. I am . . . femi-none. -- Caitlin Moran
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I wrote my first book at eight, all of four pages. At 10, I did a 40-page story. At 12, I wrote two stage plays. -- Caitlin Moran
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Rock 'n' roll is a terrible babysitter, baby. -- Caitlin Moran
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Theologian Paul Tillich. Tillich characterizes anxiety into three categories: "ontic anxiety" is the fear of fate and death. The second is "moral anxiety," from guilt, or condemnation. The third is "spiritual anxiety," prompted by an empty life, without direction or meaning. -- Caitlin Moran
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I think it's a delightful thing, for a young teenage girl to befriend someone of another generation. She is like a window into the past, I think to myself. -- Caitlin Moran
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I've got more friends than I've ever had in my life at the age of 39 - although given that I didn't have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn't say much - because I found the internet. -- Caitlin Moran
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Because what you are, as a teenager, is a small, silver, empty rocket. And you use loud music as fuel, and then the information in books as maps and coordinates, to tell you where you're going. -- Caitlin Moran
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inside them, no one's having fun.
Instead, people are expressing needs (to earn money, to see a woman's skin) in pretty much the most depressing way possible. -- Caitlin Moran
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I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one. -- Caitlin Moran
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The first thing to improve society is not banning abortion, but making sure that everyone who had a child is in the best position to be able to rear it. -- Caitlin Moran
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I imagine possible relations all the time. All the time. My God, in my teens I was fucking tragic for it. I scarcely existed in the real world at all. I lived in some kind of ... Sex Narnia. My love life was busy, exciting, and totally imaginary. -- Caitlin Moran
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When I talk to girls, they go, 'I'm not a feminist.' And I say: 'What? You don't want to vote? Do you want to be owned by your husband? Do you want your money from your job to go into his bank account? If you were raped, do you still want that to be a crime? Congratulations : you are a feminist.' -- Caitlin Moran
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With mounting concern, I learned that having a £600 handbag is like having a crush on the Joker in Batman. You MUST do it. It is an irreducible fact of being a woman. -- Caitlin Moran
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Because I am still learning to walk and talk, and it is a million times easier to be cynical and wield a sword, than it is to be open-hearted and stand there, holding a balloon and a birthday cake, with the infinite potential to look foolish. -- Caitlin Moran
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Of course, people discovering true love works out badly for everyone, really. I mean, it's okay in the end- once everyone settles down and stops making a big fuss about it. But fairly near the beginning, there is a massive test of everyone's patience and love- a wedding. -- Caitlin Moran
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It's the silliness
the profligacy, and the silliness
that's so dizzying: a seven-year-old will run downstairs, kiss you hard, and then run back upstairs again, all in less than 30 seconds. It's as urgent an item on their daily agenda as eating or singing. It's like being mugged by Cupid. -- Caitlin Moran
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I find rap, dance, and hip-hop vaguely terrifying. I don't have the right clothes to be into them, and it all seems a bit intense. I file these genres along with heavy metal and speed metal under people who would kill, then eat me. -- Caitlin Moran
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In the end, I go where I always go when I need information on something baffling, poisonous, or terrifying: the library. -- Caitlin Moran
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Because I am fully aware of what the word "fat" means - what it really means, when you say it, or think it. It's not just a simple, descriptive word like "brunette" or "34." It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection. -- Caitlin Moran
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Kite spends three minutes trying to calm me down - 'Dutch! Dutch!' - and then just hugs me with his huge arms, so I am completely wrapped up, and inside him, like an owl inside a hollow tree. This is my most enjoyable crying ever - if all crying were this pleasant, I would do it more often. -- Caitlin Moran
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Krissi starts dancing toward me in a showy disco-jog. Still a bit hurt, I do vague, place-holding disco fingers at him. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm learning a whole new thing: that sometimes, love isn't observable or noisy or tangible. That sometimes, love is anonymous. Sometimes, love is silent. Sometimes, love just stands there when you're calling it a cunt, biting its tongue and waiting. -- Caitlin Moran
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Musicals are strictly for homosexuals and womenfolk, Kenny says drily, in a way that's so post-post-post-ironic it actually stops being communication, and simply becomes confusing and unhelpful. -- Caitlin Moran
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We should have the lady-balls to say, Yeah - I like the look of this world. And I've been here for a good while, watching. Now - here's how I'd tweak it. Because we're all in this together. We're all just, you know. The Guys. -- Caitlin Moran
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In the early '90s, it was grunge; everybody was fully clothed. Alanis Morissette was one of the biggest artists in the world, never wore makeup, wearing Doc Marten boots, and then the Spice Girls turn up, and suddenly it all looks a bit burlesque; suddenly they're the biggest band in the world. -- Caitlin Moran
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Self-harm - the world will come at you with knives anyway. You do not need to beat them to it. -- Caitlin Moran
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I told my girls, 'Look at Rihanna: She's one of the biggest pop stars in the world. She's really famous, really powerful, really rich. Yet in every single video she can only wear panties. Poor Rhianna! We'll know when she is properly powerful and successful when we see her in a lovely cardigan.' -- Caitlin Moran
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If you would feel comfortable going around to someone's house at the end of a long day saying, "I'm just going to take my bra off," you know you are intimate friends. -- Caitlin Moran
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Our new budget now, with no wriggle room for anything extra - not a pot of jam, or a new pair of shoes. We cannot do anything other than stay very still. We are on 11 percent less of was-never-enough-in-the-first-place. -- Caitlin Moran
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I am 13 years old, I am 13 stone, I have no money, no friends, and boys throw gravel at me. It's my birthday, and I went to bed at 7.15pm. -- Caitlin Moran
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when cynicism becomes the default language, playfulness and invention become impossible. -- Caitlin Moran
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Men have made the world. And they've made a brilliant job of it. I love men. You know, men, you built Paris and you invented The Beatles, and, you know, and you've taught dogs to say 'sausages.' You know, I love your world. Thank you for it. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm quite British; I've got big, flat feet, and I can't wear heels. I've got very, very pale Celtic skin, so my legs are always a frightening blue color. So when you take out clothes that reveal your legs, shoes that have any kind of heel, no shop will actually take my money. -- Caitlin Moran
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There's a lot of Sherlock love in here. In many ways, this book might as well be called 'Deduce THIS, Sexlock Holmes!' with a picture of me licking his meerschaum, cross-eyed and screaming. -- Caitlin Moran
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As I have said, in the same way that you can tell if some sexism is happening to you by asking the question "Is this polite, or not?" you can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, "And are the men doing this, as well? -- Caitlin Moran
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The thing is, one in three women in the Western world will end up having an abortion, but they never talk about it. When you keep silent about that stuff, it is because you are embarrassed by the societal distaste of the topic. -- Caitlin Moran
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Yeah. They wake up a couple of times in the night, but, you know, that is the ineffable nature of the young! I said. This woman was bound to be impressed by what an engaged big sister I was. Also, my vocabulary. -- Caitlin Moran
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Let's all go and be feminists in the pub. -- Caitlin Moran
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As a former ballerina, I can't put down Maggie Shipstead's new book, Astonish Me. -- Caitlin Moran
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Never feel this bad again. Never come back to this place, where only a knife will do. Live a gentle and kind life. Don't do things that make you want to hurt yourself. Whatever you do, every day, remember this - then steer away from here. -- Caitlin Moran
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Abortions are never seen as a positive thing, as any other operation to remedy a potentially life-ruining condition would. -- Caitlin Moran
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Goosing my own Maverick. -- Caitlin Moran
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You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise -- Caitlin Moran
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But they didn't. Because simply being able to vote isn't the same as true equality. It's difficult to see the glass ceiling because it's made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly. In -- Caitlin Moran
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Lines and greyness are nature's way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of yellow and black lines on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider. -- Caitlin Moran
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Shut up, Ed - the world below us has turned into a map. A real map! The woods look like the "Woodland: Deciduous" markings of Ordnance Survey. It is just as they drew it! Who knew! Who knew you could put the whole world on paper, after all! The artists were right! This is so reassuring! -- Caitlin Moran
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I think if you thought about it a little while longer, you'd realize that you'd far better be a Ghostbuster: a nerd in New York with an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back, and a one-in-four chance of being Bill Murray. -- Caitlin Moran
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Come on, fellow breastkateers - we -- Caitlin Moran
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It's really best not to tell people when you feel bad. Growing up is about keeping secrets, and pretending everything is fine. -- Caitlin Moran
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I will work out exactly how - with my no money, no money at all, until I actually receive my first, dawdling pay-cheque - I will get to Birmingham later. Perhaps Birmingham will, in the next week, move closer to Wolverhampton, and I can simply walk there! -- Caitlin Moran
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You wanted to become a doctor to help people and feel better at the end of your job, I think, watching them, as the nurse takes my hand. But I don't think you do feel better at the end of the day. You look like humans have constantly disappointed you. -- Caitlin Moran
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Why would I do that? Why would I put all this effort into pretending to be ... less than I am. -- Caitlin Moran
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Flyaway, problem hair is the enemy of feminism, and was probably invented by the Man to crush Susan Sontag. -- Caitlin Moran
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When God gives you no lemons - make nonmonade! -- Caitlin Moran
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If you can't save yourself from attack by being powerful - and I, palpably, have no power. My hands are empty - then perhaps you can save yourself from attack by being ruined, instead. Blow yourself up before the enemy gets to you. -- Caitlin Moran
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I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too. -- Caitlin Moran
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There's no point in drinking if no one's watching. -- Caitlin Moran
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Practically the first action of the Neanderthal - on the happy day he evolved out of the monkey egg - was to draw a picture on a cave wall of a man with an enormous willy. Or, indeed, perhaps it was the first action of a woman. After all, we're more interested in (a) cocks and (b) decorating. -- Caitlin Moran
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Whenever you need to win a situation - talk about jazz, Johanna. It confuses people. -- Caitlin Moran
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You should write, write, write every day, and learn to edit and pare it right back so you're proud of every sentence, and each one is either being useful or beautiful, but hopefully both. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm not going to be worshipped by some powerful, loaded, sword-wielding man who will change my life if I marry him. Because that is Aragon, son of Arathorn, and he doesn't exist. -- Caitlin Moran
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Books seem the most potent source: each one is the sum total of a life that can be inhaled in a single day. I read fast, so I'm hoovering up lives at a ferocious pace, six or seven or eight in a week. I particularly love autobiographies: I can eat a whole person by sundown. -- Caitlin Moran
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Boobs exist only to jiggle up and down on the chests of women between the ages of 14 and 32, after which they get too droopy, and then presumably fall off the face of the earth, into space; maybe to eventually become part of the giant rings of Saturn. -- Caitlin Moran
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But I am, personally, not a gambler. I wouldn't spend £1 on the lottery, let alone take a punt on a pregnancy. The stakes are far, far too high. I can't agree with a society that would force me to bet on how much I could love under duress. -- Caitlin Moran
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they're making new kinds of girls in America. Girls who don't give a fuck. Girls who dare. Girls who do it because other girls do it. Girls who would like a girl like you. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't regret not going to college. Students learn up to the age of 21, then stop. I'll always be learning - the things that really matter in life. How to sign on, how to get free food, how to be streetwise. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't think that women being seen as inferior is a prejudice based on male hatred of women. When you look at history, it's a prejudice based on simple fact. -- Caitlin Moran
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I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world. -- Caitlin Moran
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He was bright, bright, bright, like a lantern above a pub door in November- he made you want to come in and never leave. -- Caitlin Moran
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And the question is always "When are you going to have kids?" Rather than "Do you want to have kids? -- Caitlin Moran
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Even with my freewheeling open-mindedness, I couldn't fancy Dennis - a man whose ears looked like two long pieces of bacon. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless. -- Caitlin Moran
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What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are. -- Caitlin Moran
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Feminism, as it stands, well ... stands. It has ground to a halt. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you've been fat, you will always feel and see the world as a fat person; you know how difficult it is ... It's the same coming from a working-class background ... it never leaves you. -- Caitlin Moran
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Friends, we live in a caffeine world. We think in a caffeine way and we live caffeine lives. -- Caitlin Moran
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Simultaneously, my two biggest heroes are Susan Sontag and Morticia Addams from 'The Addams Family.' -- Caitlin Moran
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There's no self-expression or joy in these joints
no springboard to self-discovery, or adventure, like any decent night out involving men, women, alcohol, and taking your clothes off. Why do many people have a gut reaction to strip clubs? Because inside them, no one is having fun. -- Caitlin Moran
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I love puffins. They are small, round gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings. -- Caitlin Moran
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I feel in my bones that Lady Gaga is a true strident feminist and good for my soul - but how do I square this with the fact that she's constantly walking around in her bra and pants, even at, like, airports and stuff, where even nudists wear a fleece and linen drawstring trousers? -- Caitlin Moran
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I am a massive slag!" I think to myself, in a motivational way. "I'm a Lady Sex Adventuress! I'm a Pirate of Privates! I'm a swashfuckler!" ... I think of "Teenage Whore" by Courtney Love as my personal anthem. -- Caitlin Moran
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For in a way that feels quite unfair, the only way I can gain any qualifications at this thing
sex
that is seen as so societally important and desirable, is by being a massive slag
which is *not* seen as societally important and desirable. This often makes me furious. -- Caitlin Moran
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The real cost of living is dying, and we're spending days like millionaires: a week here, a month there, casually spunked until all you have left are the two pennies on your eyes. -- Caitlin Moran
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Once you become poor, tired and time-constrained, you become a much better human being. -- Caitlin Moran
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Freely available, hardcore 21st-century pornography blasts through men's and women's sexual imaginations like antibiotics and kills all mystery, uncertainty, and doubt - good and bad. -- Caitlin Moran
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You stop talking about things when you've worked them out. You're no longer an observer but a participant. You're too busy for this bullshit. -- Caitlin Moran
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But women living in fear of aging, and pulling painful and expensive tricks to hide it from the world, does not say something amazing about us as humans. -- Caitlin Moran
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In the U.K., we have a paper called 'The Daily Mail,' which is quite misogynist. And every day, it just writes pieces about: 'Women, you're going to die now! Women, here's shoes that give you cancer! Women, just hate yourselves!' -- Caitlin Moran
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Because my biggest secret of all - the one I would rather die than tell, the one I wouldn't even put in my diary - is that I really, truly, in my heart, want to be beautiful. I want to be beautiful so much - because it will keep me safe, and keep me lucky, and it's too exhausting not to be. -- Caitlin Moran
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I was holding his hand. I banked every jealous look, and became limitlessly wealthy on them. -- Caitlin Moran
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Into the center - Queen's Square. This is the heart of Wolverhampton's youth scene - our Left Bank, our Haight-Ashbury, our Soho. To the right, five skaters. To the left, three goths, sitting around the Man On 'Is 'Oss - a statue of a man, on his horse. -- Caitlin Moran
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We're supposed to speak from the heart in what we wear. We have to find capsule wardrobes. -- Caitlin Moran
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And I think: I could do this. Fuck writing a book about a fat girl and a dragon. I could be a music journalist, instead. -- Caitlin Moran
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You actually don't exist while you're in your bedroom," I say to the dog, so that she knows this important fact. "Teenage girls in bedrooms aren't real. -- Caitlin Moran
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There is no crueler or more inappropriate present to give a child than estrogen and a big pair of tits. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you read all your history books, there are no women in them. -- Caitlin Moran
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Because I haven't yet learned the simplest and most important thing of all: the world is difficult, and we are all breakable. So just be kind. -- Caitlin Moran
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Once you've got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch's house and did period all over his sofa, then there's no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party. -- Caitlin Moran
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A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution. -- Caitlin Moran
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I now believe that there are only four things a grown, modern woman should have: a pair of yellow shoes (they unexpectedly go with everything), a friend who will come and post bail at 4 a.m., a fail-safe pie recipe, and a proper muff. -- Caitlin Moran
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And when you are being kissed like this, you are Christmas Day; you are the moon shot; you are field larks. My shoes were suddenly worth a million pounds, and my breath was the ethyl in champagne. When someone kisses you like this, you are the point of everything. -- Caitlin Moran
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Evenings never end - they just, without you noticing, turn into tomorrow. -- Caitlin Moran
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It's very important my parent's don't think I'm starting to fall in love with people, because then they might notice that I'm growing up, and I'm kind of trying to keep it a secret. I think it will cause an incident -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm so tired of this shit. Batman never had to get together a petition with 250,000 signatures on it when he wanted to change things. He just went and rammed the Batcar into the Penguin's den. Why can't I ram a Batcar into the Penguin's den? I wish I was Batman. -- Caitlin Moran
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In the end, I want to spend my 60s writing bonkbusters like Jilly Cooper. -- Caitlin Moran
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There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that's statistics. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words. -- Caitlin Moran
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I love getting older. You might lose skin elasticity, but you also lose the amount of fucks you give. It's awesome. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm so glad I spent 10 years being sad and lonely. -- Caitlin Moran
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Of course, in the end, when Mapplethorpe turned out to be very gay, Smith was left with no other option than to go off and write Horses and grow the world's most influential lady mustache instead. Her hand was forced into productivity. -- Caitlin Moran
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The actual handbag is neither here nor there
it's what you keep in it that's the most important thing. -- Caitlin Moran
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Batman doesn't want a baby in order to feel he's 'done everything'. He's just saved Gotham again! If this means that Batman must be a feminist role model above, say, Nicola Horlick, then so be it. -- Caitlin Moran
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Feminism needs Zero Tolerance over baby angst. In the 21st century, it can't be about who we might make, and what they might do, anymore. It has to be about who we are, and what we're going to do. -- Caitlin Moran
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One is not born a woman - one becomes one," she didn't know the half of it. -- Caitlin Moran
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And you will be quite on your own when you do all this. There is no academy where you can learn to be yourself; there is no line manager slowly urging you toward the correct answer. You are midwife to yourself, and will give birth to yourself, over and over, in dark rooms, alone. -- Caitlin Moran
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This is where rock happens! This is where young people come! Rock music smells of toilet and cigarettes! -- Caitlin Moran
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My favourite place in the world - the south beach at Aberystwyth -has a sewage outfall pipe on it -- Caitlin Moran
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I can honestly say that my abortion was one of the least difficult decisions of my life. I'm not being flippant when I say it took me longer to decide what worktops to have in the kitchen than whether I was prepared to spend the rest of my life being responsible for a further human being. -- Caitlin Moran
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When young people are cynical, and snarky, they shoot down their own future. When you keep saying "No," all that's left is what other people said "Yes" to before you were born. Really, "No" is no choice at all. -- Caitlin Moran
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When I learned that flour pound for pound has as many calories as sugar, and that when eating pasta you're basically eating cake, I was size 23, and my neck was restricting my breathing, and so I got on a microbiotic diet and got myself an exercise bike. -- Caitlin Moran
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Personally, I find the idea that women are supposed to "love" shopping bizarre - nearly every woman I know wants to cry after 45 minutes of trawling the high street looking for a shirt and hits the gin with alacrity upon the sad occasions when jeans have to be found. -- Caitlin Moran
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Whenever I see a taboo, I just think that's something we need to drag screaming out into the light and discuss. Because taboos are where our fears live, and taboos are the things that keep us tiny. Particularly for women. -- Caitlin Moran
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us not forget Charlie Watts punching Mick Jagger after Jagger called him "my drummer." "You're my singer," Watts snarled, before adjusting his cuffs, and walking away. -- Caitlin Moran
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And every book, you find, has its own social group
friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in the library that need never, ever end. -- Caitlin Moran
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A library is such a potent symbol of a town's values: each one closed down might as well be six thousand stickers plastered over every available surface, reading WE CHOSE TO BECOME MORE STUPID AND DULL. -- Caitlin Moran
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I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash. -- Caitlin Moran
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As with winning the lottery, or becoming famous - there is no manual for becoming a woman, -- Caitlin Moran
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Caz doesn't like 'nearness'. It makes her extremely irascible. In a three-bedroom council house with seven people in it, she is almost perpetually furious. -- Caitlin Moran
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After all, it will be hard to oppress a generation who've been brought up on pop-stars with fire coming out of their tits. -- Caitlin Moran
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I never wanted to be famous. It was amusing at first, but now I hate it. I just wanted to be respected by people I respect. And I wanted to be rich. It's best to get rich, then you can do what you want. -- Caitlin Moran
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There. There you are. You have dropped a marker pin on your body, to reclaim yourself, to remind you where you are: inside yourself. Somewhere. Somewhere in there. -- Caitlin Moran
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People with no upper-body strength, who read poetry. These are my people. -- Caitlin Moran
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I once went into a meeting, and every woman put her a million-pound bag on the table. Then I'm there with my tote bag and anorak. And I'm like, well, I'm still the most important person in the room right now. -- Caitlin Moran
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What you are, as a teenager, is a small, silver, empty rocket. And you use loud music as fuel, and then the information in books as maps and coordinates, -- Caitlin Moran
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For preference, I would like you to stand on a chair and shout "I AM A FEMINIST!" - but this is simply because I believe everything is more exciting if you stand on a chair to do -- Caitlin Moran
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My parents were hippies. I'm the eldest of eight children. -- Caitlin Moran
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So what is the best vegetable? Well, we all know that: it's the potato. The vegetable you can't screw up. You can throw a potato into a bonfire, run away from it - and, an hour later, it's turned into a meal. Try doing that with broccoli, or a trifle, and it will laugh in your face. -- Caitlin Moran
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I appear to have no time for blondes
except for Bugs Bunny, dressed up as a woman, as he seduces the fool Fudd. That is a woman I could be, definitely: a cartoon man-rabbit dressed up as a girl, trying to have sex with a stuttering bald man. I could definitely do that. -- Caitlin Moran
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The undeniable feeling that, as you castigate a troll, he's rubbing his Red Dwarf mouse pad against his crotch and sighing, Angry liberal women typing at me. Oh yah. That's how I like it. -- Caitlin Moran
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And the thing about scared people is, whenever you ask them for advice, on whatever subject, they only ever have one thing to say to you: Run. -- Caitlin Moran
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My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it. -- Caitlin Moran
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I am getting incredibly high on a single, astounding fact: that it's always sunny above the clouds. Always. That every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all. -- Caitlin Moran
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I genuinely miss writing now on the rare days I don't write; my mouth waters when I think about writing, and I have an extreme physical reaction to the idea of doing it. -- Caitlin Moran
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The people around you are mirrors, I think.
You see yourself reflected in their eyes. If the mirror is true, and smooth, you see your true self. That's how you learn who you are. -- Caitlin Moran
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I wish I could learn that just three drinks is enough, but I have not learned that. -- Caitlin Moran
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Don't call it sexism. Call it "manners" instead. When a woman blinks a little, shakes her head like Columbo, and says, "I'm sorry, but that sounded a little . . . uncivil," a man is apt to apologize. Because even the most rampant bigot on earth has no defense against a charge of simply being rude. -- Caitlin Moran
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Explaining why you love something is one of the most important jobs on earth. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm neither 'pro-women' nor 'anti-men'. I'm just 'Thumbs up for the six billion -- Caitlin Moran
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As I've not been kissed before, I'm not really sure how you activate this function on a man. -- Caitlin Moran
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The word 'spinster' tells you everything you need to know about our attitude of women who choose not to marry. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you take a moment to consider the state of the world, the thing you notice is that there are plenty of babies being born; the planet doesn't really need all of us to produce more babies. -- Caitlin Moran
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I can write, because writing - unlike choreography, architecture, or conquering kingdoms - is a thing you can do when you're lonely and poor, and have no infrastructure, i.e., a ballet troupe or some cannons. -- Caitlin Moran
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Man, I was on the shepherd's pie last night like you wouldn't believe. I had, like, MASH in my EYEBROWS by 10pm. I was on a total mince rush! -- Caitlin Moran
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Things happen in these kinds of towns that could never happen anywhere else - proud, poor kids make things happen with more heat, and intensity, and attack, than could ever be managed somewhere with pleasant villages or well-tended gardens. -- Caitlin Moran
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The more scared children are, the tighter they hug you. -- Caitlin Moran
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But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human. -- Caitlin Moran
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I believe in music and gin and joy and talking too much and human kindness. -- Caitlin Moran
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It makes you love vividly, work intensely, and realize that, in the scheme of things, you really don't have time to sit on the sofa in your undies watching Homes Under the Hammer. -- Caitlin Moran
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For a woman, every outfit is a hopeful spell, cast to influence the outcome of the day. An act of trying to predict your fate, like looking at your horoscope. -- Caitlin Moran
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One of the little sorrows of being cool is that similarly cool people are too cool to ever come over and tell you you're cool - because that's just not cool. And so,gradually, the entire point of being cool is being eroded. -- Caitlin Moran
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And of course, the deepest irony about the young being cynical is that they are the ones that need to move, and dance, and trust the most. -- Caitlin Moran
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People get really scared when women reclaim words, talk about themselves honestly and also make jokes because it's a really unstoppable combination. -- Caitlin Moran
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Robert Johnson invented the blues, at midnight, at a crossroads, after selling his soul to the devil. Dorothy Parker invented amusing women, at 2 p.m., in New York's best cocktail bar, after tipping a busboy 50 cents for a martini. It's hard not to draw conclusions as to which is the brighter sex. -- Caitlin Moran
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I do not ... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine ... I am ... femi-none. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't want anyone watching me change. I will do all my changing in private. In public I am, always, the finished thing. The right thing, for the right place. A chrysalis is hung in the dark. -- Caitlin Moran
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When you say you're not a feminist, if feminism hadn't existed, and you didn't live in a feminist world, you wouldn't be saying that, because you'd be too busy scrubbing out the toilets in back while cooking up your husband's tea and dying in childbirth at the age of 34. -- Caitlin Moran
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Because I am well read, I know what a terrible cliche it is to shout, "I *hate* you. I never *asked* to be born," so I refrain. -- Caitlin Moran
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I will NOT be reading when we fly. My face is pressed against the window. When we fly, I am going to be absolutely present for every meter and every cloud. No one will EVER have flown more than me. -- Caitlin Moran
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Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you can find a frock you look nice in and can run up three flights of stairs, you're not fat. -- Caitlin Moran
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When you talk to a young teenage girl, they're just full of self-loathing. The reason they feel self-loathing is they don't feel normal. It is a world that has not been built for them. It's been built for men, and that's why they feel bad. -- Caitlin Moran
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Poor people can write. It's one of the few things poverty, and lack -- Caitlin Moran
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I am so tired. Tired--but so so so wired to the moon. -- Caitlin Moran
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Women's bodies do not give up their babies so easily, and so silently, is the message. The heart will always remember. -- Caitlin Moran
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Oh God, are you supposed to collect things? I don't collect things. I like throwing things away. -- Caitlin Moran
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When a woman says, 'I have nothing to wear!', what she really means is, 'There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today. -- Caitlin Moran
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A self-made man - not of woman born but alchemized, through sheer force of will, by the man himself. This is what I want to be. I want to be a self-made woman. I want to conjure myself out of every sparkling, fast moving thing I can see. I want to be the creator of myself. I'm going to begat myself -- Caitlin Moran
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Telly never has any smart, amusing intellectuals living on a council estate. -- Caitlin Moran
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I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy. -- Caitlin Moran
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You can be socially accepted and tell the truth about what it is to be a woman. -- Caitlin Moran
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The kind of classic pose of a female model is to look kind of sexy and a bit annoyed. -- Caitlin Moran
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turn our unsaid things into our life's work. -- Caitlin Moran
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The idea that I might not
in an earlier era, or a different country
have a choice in the matter seems both emotionally and physically barbaric. -- Caitlin Moran
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Most women I know love the idea of fashion, but the practicalities that go with it are just distressing. -- Caitlin Moran
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It's difficult to see the glass ceiling because it's made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly. -- Caitlin Moran
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Choose your friends because you feel most like yourself around them, because the jokes are easy and you feel like you're in your best outfit when you're with them, even though you're just in a t-shirt. -- Caitlin Moran
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I remember, around age three, peas growing in the back garden. Pinching them from their pods and popping them in the mouth was my first realisation that food came from somewhere other than a shelf. -- Caitlin Moran
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He had his head in hand hands, and his tie looked like it had been put on by an enemy, and was strangling him. -- Caitlin Moran
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I am thrilled by the idea of killing myself. It seems like such a gratifyingly noble thing to do. A monster has come to town - me - and there is only one hero who can kill it: me. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you do it properly, life is art, really. -- Caitlin Moran
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We think of feminism as an academic subject, but it's not. If you think feminism is academic, you think there's a right or wrong. -- Caitlin Moran
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A 'sign of weakness' for a male celebrity is being found to be unfaithful, or unkind to an employee, or having crashed their car while stoned out of their tiny minds. A 'sign of weakness' for a woman, on the other hand, can be a single, unflattering picture. -- Caitlin Moran
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I can't live in a world where there are only, like, four kinds of women. Or where every woman is obsessed with cake. The very least I ask is that we have one female character in the world who likes savory things! I don't have any role models who like cheese! -- Caitlin Moran
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Feminism means something - legislation, cultural change - but 'Girl Power' meant nothing more than being friends with your friends. -- Caitlin Moran
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It used to be if you wanted something nice to wear, you would sew it yourself for your body type. Women before the 20th century didn't have this problem. Now, it seems we're all squeezed into random designs. They're designed for no one. -- Caitlin Moran
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Hearing women singing about themselves - rather than men singing about women - makes everything seem wonderfully clear, and possible -- Caitlin Moran
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What a fucking bore people are. -- Caitlin Moran
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Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on. -- Caitlin Moran
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The mouth is the heart of the face, -- Caitlin Moran
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Woman in heels stands a statistical likelihood of ending her evening with her shoes in her handbag, barefoot and demanding a piggyback to the taxi stand in order to "keep her tights clean." Men are invariably the pig whose back is called for. -- Caitlin Moran
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Just go around being alive, and pointing at things. We're just, simply, in the world. It had never occurred to me what a wonderful thing this was. -- Caitlin Moran
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At school, I could see some of my contemporaries were choosing not to be active women - out there, making their own fate - but to be princesses, just waiting to be "found" and married, instead. -- Caitlin Moran
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Galaxies of nothing are going on
in her eyes. -- Caitlin Moran
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The idea of not being able to control my own fertility genuinely terrifies me. That one mistake might change your life. That everything I am, and do, could be ended by the repeal of laws our mothers fought so hard for, that women had waited for the entire span of humanity to come about. -- Caitlin Moran
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You can crush any woman by suggesting that she's fat, not even saying the word 'fat' but just suggesting she's fat. -- Caitlin Moran
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It's amazing how much you can find to say when there's one big thing you're too afraid to say: 'This isn't working. -- Caitlin Moran
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When Simone de Beauvoir said, "One is not born a woman - one becomes one," she didn't know the half of it. In -- Caitlin Moran
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Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws. -- Caitlin Moran
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Men and women alike have convinced themselves of a dragging belief: that somehow women are incomplete without having children. -- Caitlin Moran
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Babies being "given" to women as gifts makes the women sound powerless. -- Caitlin Moran
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We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth. -- Caitlin Moran
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There is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, You are a poo. -- Caitlin Moran
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For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup. -- Caitlin Moran
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Not one had ever passed judgement on my cheap handbag to my face. But then, this is a reserved country. -- Caitlin Moran
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If you're not a confident person, pretend to be one. -- Caitlin Moran
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It demeans a society to rely on random acts of mercy, Johanna. -- Caitlin Moran
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And, like all the best quests, in the end, I did it all for a girl: me. -- Caitlin Moran
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When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can't help but think, You just haven't taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love. -- Caitlin Moran
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I sit at my desk, and I do not know where the words are hidden! -- Caitlin Moran
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When I saw 'Pretty In Pink' at the cinema at the age of 11, I just thought it was a period piece from maybe 100 years previously. I had no idea that was what everybody was supposed to be wearing. -- Caitlin Moran
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR ELTON JOHN! -- Caitlin Moran
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The main thing I've noticed, however, is how unreasonable, self-absorbed and permanently outraged caffeine has made me. -- Caitlin Moran
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March against size-zero models, risible pornography, lap-dancing clubs, and Botox. We don't need to -- Caitlin Moran
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As far as I'm concerned, you're a feminist by default if you're born in the Western world right now. -- Caitlin Moran
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I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit. -- Caitlin Moran
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I have a feeling I'll only ever properly make sense in bed, on my back. You would understand what I meant if we were there. -- Caitlin Moran
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I can't help but notice that in a society obsessed with fat - so eager in the appellation, so vocal in its disapproval - the only people who aren't talking about it are the only people whose business it really is. -- Caitlin Moran
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All the things that are taboo are the things that are not normal, and all the things that are not normal are the things that are exclusively about physically being a woman. -- Caitlin Moran
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When you live in a small house with five younger siblings, it's actually far more sensible - and much quicker - to cry alone. -- Caitlin Moran
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The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose. -- Caitlin Moran
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I've generally got low levels of embarrassment. -- Caitlin Moran
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Between 60 and 80 percent of strippers come from a background of sexual abuse. -- Caitlin Moran
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You can be whatever you want - so long as you're sure it's what you actually want, rather than one of two equally dodgy choices foisted onto you. -- Caitlin Moran
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I wish I could give up smoking, but it does taste so delicious. -- Caitlin Moran
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Our world is afflicted by poverty. Don't spend all this money on clothes! -- Caitlin Moran
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No one ever laughs when I make these kinds of jokes. When Bill Murray says shit like this, people completely lose it. I wish I was Bill Murray. I hope everything I've read about evolution is wrong, and I eventually evolve into him. -- Caitlin Moran
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This is Pat," he says, introducing me to a man who is also drunk. "Because I'm Pat too! We're two Pats! He's a Protestant," he adds in a stagy whisper, "but we've sorted it all out. -- Caitlin Moran
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We were all wondering - could you stop the maracas -- Caitlin Moran
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When a woman walks into a room, her outfit is the first thing she says, before she even opens her mouth. Women are judged on what they wear in a way men would find incomprehensible. -- Caitlin Moran
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Twitter means all my friends are in my computer. All my ideas are in my computer. I can do whatever I want in there; I'm kind of ... bionic. -- Caitlin Moran
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I have read more about Oprah Winfrey's ass than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren't spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey's ass. -- Caitlin Moran
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When people ask workingwomen, "When are you going to have a baby?" what they're really asking is "When are you going to leave? -- Caitlin Moran
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We'll hurl satellites out into space, in order to find new and enthralling wonders - but we could simply turn to someone next to us, and ask a question about their life, instead. -- Caitlin Moran
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Shit," he says helplessly. "No - piss," I say, like Oscar fucking Wilde. -- Caitlin Moran
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You never hear the word "breasts" in a positive scenario. Breasts are bad news. -- Caitlin Moran
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In any just world, I should have been able to kick the front room door open, like Lord Flashheart in Blackadder, and shout "OH YEAH. THAT HYMEN'S GONE. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT," and then run round the room, getting high fives from my parents and siblings. -- Caitlin Moran
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Amnesty International Survey found that 25 percent of people believe a woman is to blame for being raped if she dresses provocatively. -- Caitlin Moran
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If every woman who's had an abortion took tomorrow off in protest, America would grind to a halt. And that would be symbolic: because women grind to a halt if they are not in control of their fertility. -- Caitlin Moran
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You've never potty-trained a toddler, have you, Johanna? It's like working as a ball boy at Wimbledon, but with shit. And it goes on for months. With people crying at you. -- Caitlin Moran
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When my children say, 'In the future, Mummy, will things get better or worse for humanity?' I say: 'Who knows, since Amy Winehouse died. It's all in the air now. Eat your broccoli.' -- Caitlin Moran
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I know people go on about Twitter, but it is amazing. It's whatever you want it to be, and all the women got in there before the boys. -- Caitlin Moran
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A reformed bitch is going to cost a fortune in stamps. -- Caitlin Moran
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I have a rule for working out if the root problem of something is, in fact, sexism. And it is this: asking 'Are the boys doing it? Are the boys having to worry about this stuff? Are the boys the centre of a gigantic global debate on this subject? -- Caitlin Moran
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Why can't we just loosen our belts, take off our heels, and cheerfully rot, like the boys? -- Caitlin Moran
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FURTHER NOTE: This plan can ONLY go wrong in the event of ants. Ants do NOT like being pissed on. -- Caitlin Moran
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These hormones do not make me feel feminine: every night, I lie in bed feeling wrenched, and the bulge of my sanitary napkin in my kickers looks like a cock. -- Caitlin Moran
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The doughy-faced woman has been forced to sit on the sidelines of culture for too long, and it's now time for us to stand up with our big round faces like the moon and say we have things to say, too. We have a round-faced agenda we want to push. -- Caitlin Moran
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I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained. -- Caitlin Moran
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But when women are asked when they're going to have children, there is, in actually, another darker, more pertinent question lying underneath it. -- Caitlin Moran
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Intolerable, because then I imagine you having sex and that, inevitably, makes me want to kill myself, and everyone in this family. And everyone I've ever met. And God. I don -- Caitlin Moran
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Every time that you read a book that is worth anything, the author has put everything they know into that book; so when you read that book, you eat their life. You kind of go up a level; so if you read 50 books, you've lived 50 lifetimes.
CBC interview Q with Jian Gomeshi Sept.23, 2014 -- Caitlin Moran
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I wish I was Bill Murray. I hope everything I've read about evolution is wrong, and I eventually evolve into him. It's one of only three plans I have. -- Caitlin Moran
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I see feminism as a massive party. It's cool, the idea that 50% of the population can now start doing things and having fun and experimenting with their hair and makeup. -- Caitlin Moran
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It's exhausting being cynical. You are trying to be an immovable, angry rock in the middle of a stream. But the stream will not move. It is you that will be worn down to dull silt. -- Caitlin Moran
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The revolution doesn't always look perfect. -- Caitlin Moran
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The problem that we have is thinking there's only one kind of feminist, and that she's politically correct and right on at all times, wears flat shoes, doesn't wear makeup, probably doesn't have sex, is very angry, wears dungarees, is a vegetarian. -- Caitlin Moran
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Rock music needs very supportive bras, I note, holding onto my bosoms as I leap up and down, doggedly. This is something the music press had never mentioned. They have so little guidance for girls. -- Caitlin Moran
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I guess the men of Iceland will have to get used to the idea that women are not for sale," ~ Gudrun Jonsdottir -- Caitlin Moran
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So what do you do when you build yourself up - only to realise you built yourself with the wrong things? -- Caitlin Moran
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I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly. -- Caitlin Moran
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THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE HAVING SEX WITH BICYCLES. Men don't remotely care if you're wearing sexy underpants or not. -- Caitlin Moran
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We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people. -- Caitlin Moran
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Within living memory of this country, men could rape their wives: women were not seen as a separate sexual entity, with the right of refusal. -- Caitlin Moran
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Life is really the only place you can learn the most important lessons about how to get dressed and to be happy. -- Caitlin Moran
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I think there are brilliant jokes to be made about abortion, and we should be able to talk about this in the way that we make jokes about death - you should be able to make jokes about everything. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm going to say 'Amen' now. This is a deal now. We are square on this. You will sort this out. Violet will not rat on us. Amen. -- Caitlin Moran
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I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat. -- Caitlin Moran
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You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening. -- Caitlin Moran
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You can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, 'And are the men doing this, as well?' If they aren't, chances are you're dealing with what we strident feminists refer to as 'some total fucking bullshit'. -- Caitlin Moran
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The reason they don't ask me when they're having kids, of course, is because men can, pretty much, carry on a normal life once they've had a baby. -- Caitlin Moran
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Women wear heels because they think they make their legs look thinner. -- Caitlin Moran
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The 1990s are a bad time to be poor and not-famous. -- Caitlin Moran
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Strip clubs let everyone down. Men and women approach their very worst here. -- Caitlin Moran
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Every woman who chooses - joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of their own free will and desire - not to have a child does womankind a massive favour in the long term. -- Caitlin Moran
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The aphorism "If you want something done, ask a busy woman" is in direct acknowledgment of the efficiency boot camp parenthood puts you through. -- Caitlin Moran
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As Germaine Greer puts it in The Whole Woman, to become a mother without wanting it is to live like a slave, or domestic animal. -- Caitlin Moran
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Going blind every time you drain a boiling pan of pasta, because it steams up your glasses real bad. -- Caitlin Moran
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I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup. -- Caitlin Moran
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Life divides into amazing enjoyable times and appalling experiences that will make future amazing anecdotes. -- Caitlin Moran
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Feminism has had exactly the same problem that "political correctness" has had: people keep using the phrase without really knowing what it means. -- Caitlin Moran
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Batman doesn't have to put up with this shit
why should we? -- Caitlin Moran
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Why on earth have I, because I'm a woman, got to be nice to everyone? -- Caitlin Moran
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Nowadays, to be frank, every week is a good week for freakshow television. we might start asking, Why are there so many freaks? And why do they all want to be on television? -- Caitlin Moran
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Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful. -- Caitlin Moran
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In 2010, Iceland - with a lesbian prime minister and a parliament that is 50 percent female - became the first country in the world to outlaw strip clubs for feminist, rather than religious, reasons. I -- Caitlin Moran
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I will never tell anyone when I feel bad again. I will never confide a weakness. It does not work. It makes things worse. -- Caitlin Moran
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Over-eating is the addiction choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. -- Caitlin Moran
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Some people aren't just people, but a place - a whole world. Sometimes you find someone you could live in for the rest of your life. -- Caitlin Moran
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Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about. -- Caitlin Moran
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Like books before them, each of these songs, I know, could in the end prove to be the thing I need: a way out. A place to go. -- Caitlin Moran
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Don't you think women would be happier if Layla had a whole chorus about Eric Clapton watching Patti Boyd trying to climb over a park fence, pissed, in order to retrieve a shoe she threw in there, for a bet? -- Caitlin Moran
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Motherhood is a game you must enter with as much energy, willingness, and happiness as possible. -- Caitlin Moran
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Women are always being asked when they're going to have children. It's a question they're asking even more often. -- Caitlin Moran
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David Cameron is a C-3P0 made of ham. -- Caitlin Moran
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You don't need to be legendary all the time. You can just be legendary for 10 minutes a day. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't campaign for the end of the aristocracy or the upper classes; I don't really want to destroy anything at all. I just want more plurality. -- Caitlin Moran
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I adore Janis Joplin, who sixties herself to death. -- Caitlin Moran
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First world babies are eating this planet like termites. -- Caitlin Moran
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I'm going to be the Beatles of kissing. -- Caitlin Moran
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Perhaps it's time for women to finally stop being secretive about their vices and start treating them like all other addicts treat their habits instead. -- Caitlin Moran
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A majority of women's magazines feature women who do amazing things, but then the article focuses on how she ruined it with her shoes. -- Caitlin Moran
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Death is not a release, but an incentive. The more focused you are on your death, the more righteously you live your life. -- Caitlin Moran
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I've learnt that you tend most to make a div of yourself when you're trying to cover up the fact that you don't know what you're doing. And that simply saying 'I don't know what I'm doing' is a massive relief. -- Caitlin Moran
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Anger is just fear, brought to the boil. -- Caitlin Moran
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I think that instead of feminism being a political thing, it should be an act of creativity. It's more of a rock n' roll thing. -- Caitlin Moran
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I loved Riot Grrl. Not only was it a punk rock revolution, but it meant you could get dressed for a night out for less than two pounds! -- Caitlin Moran
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But I do have conversations about the Patriarchy and I am having them with gay men. At eighteen, I am discovering what generations of women have long known. The natural ally of the straight woman is the gay man because they are others losers too. -- Caitlin Moran
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Watching 'Girls' has just given me renewed courage. -- Caitlin Moran
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After all, everyone is bisexual after 11pm. -- Caitlin Moran
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I don't think there should be anything that women are embarrassed to talk about in the 21st century, because for the last 100,000 years, men have said everything that's on their minds and described everything they have done. -- Caitlin Moran