Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Frank Zappa, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Frank Zappa quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 318 Frank Zappa quotes for you to read and share.
Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music. -- Frank Zappa
Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear. -- Frank Zappa
You can bet everything will come to an end. It's going to be ugly and it's going to be a mess, and it's going to be something that somebody did in the name of God ... -- Frank Zappa
Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes. -- Frank Zappa
When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else. -- Frank Zappa
The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich. ... That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that. -- Frank Zappa
They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there. -- Frank Zappa
The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on. -- Frank Zappa
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. -- Frank Zappa
Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned
I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination. -- Frank Zappa
I think that if you use the so-called "strong words" you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you. -- Frank Zappa
Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet. -- Frank Zappa
Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances. -- Frank Zappa
I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss. -- Frank Zappa
She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy. -- Frank Zappa
The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively
because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall? -- Frank Zappa
Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons. -- Frank Zappa
The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business -- Frank Zappa
Shut Up and Play your Guitar. -- Frank Zappa
If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep. -- Frank Zappa
Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat. -- Frank Zappa
You is what you am, a cow don't make ham. -- Frank Zappa
The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball ... I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon. -- Frank Zappa
Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it. -- Frank Zappa
I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers. -- Frank Zappa
Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. -- Frank Zappa
Kid's heads are filled with so many nonfacts that when they get out of school they're totally unprepared to do anything. They can't read, they can't write, they can't think. Talk about child abuse. The U.S. school system as a whole qualifies. -- Frank Zappa
Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity. -- Frank Zappa
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. -- Frank Zappa
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. -- Frank Zappa
I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant. -- Frank Zappa
The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned. -- Frank Zappa
You don't dig me, I don't understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered. -- Frank Zappa
I'm not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better. -- Frank Zappa
If classical music is the state of the art, then the arts are in a sad state. -- Frank Zappa
Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America. -- Frank Zappa
I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed. -- Frank Zappa
Left me here to cry alone with a bottle of juice and pork chop bone. -- Frank Zappa
My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. -- Frank Zappa
I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don't, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons. -- Frank Zappa
I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes. -- Frank Zappa
I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole. -- Frank Zappa
I want a horny little Jewish princess. -- Frank Zappa
America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians. -- Frank Zappa
Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay. -- Frank Zappa
Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex. -- Frank Zappa
The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that. -- Frank Zappa
Don't forget to vote. -- Frank Zappa
For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973. -- Frank Zappa
Don't eat the yellow snow. -- Frank Zappa
Watch out where the Huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow -- Frank Zappa
I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion. -- Frank Zappa
Nothing I've ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody. -- Frank Zappa
Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, cause nothing's worse than a suicide chump. -- Frank Zappa
She use to knock me out until her face broke out. -- Frank Zappa
This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
Stink Foot -- Frank Zappa
Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty. -- Frank Zappa
I never have no trouble with my rubber girl. -- Frank Zappa
Brown shoes don't make it. -- Frank Zappa
People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble. -- Frank Zappa
Hendrix is one of the most revolutionary figures in today's pop culture, musically and sociologically. -- Frank Zappa
The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus. -- Frank Zappa
Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous. -- Frank Zappa
You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal. -- Frank Zappa
He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head. -- Frank Zappa
The Very Big Stupid is a thing which breeds by eating The Future. Have you seen it? It sometimes disguises itself as a good-looking quarterly bottom line, derived by closing the R&D department. -- Frank Zappa
In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world. -- Frank Zappa
What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit? -- Frank Zappa
Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon. -- Frank Zappa
Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet. -- Frank Zappa
You can't escape the puking sphinx. -- Frank Zappa
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons. -- Frank Zappa
You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream. -- Frank Zappa
You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious. -- Frank Zappa
The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady. -- Frank Zappa
Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up. -- Frank Zappa
I searched for years I found no love. I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity. -- Frank Zappa
Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat? -- Frank Zappa
People like to own things. -- Frank Zappa
Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die. -- Frank Zappa
Basically I'm in the idea business
whether it's a musical idea or a spoken idea ... If you wind up with a political system that wants to put idea men out of business, then you have worry on your hands. -- Frank Zappa
The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own. -- Frank Zappa
Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too. -- Frank Zappa
Let's be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on the face of the earth. That's why I like it ... The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar: now that's my idea of a good time. -- Frank Zappa
My guitar wants to kill your mama. -- Frank Zappa
My school spirit is at an all time low, I'm losing my status at the school. -- Frank Zappa
Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition. -- Frank Zappa
On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low. -- Frank Zappa
I have been monitoring your earthly broadcasts for many years. -- Frank Zappa
I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy. -- Frank Zappa
I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do. -- Frank Zappa
Scientology , how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ? -- Frank Zappa
Decades of indoctrination, manipulation, censorship and KGB excursions haven't altered this fact: People want a piece of their own little Something-or-Other, and, if they don't get it, have a tendency to initiate counterrevolution. -- Frank Zappa
I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric -- Frank Zappa
Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public. -- Frank Zappa
Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there. -- Frank Zappa
Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger. -- Frank Zappa
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians. -- Frank Zappa
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. -- Frank Zappa
I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs. -- Frank Zappa
Without "Louie Louie" a symphony is not quite so grand. -- Frank Zappa
The manner in which Americans 'consume' music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie
it's consumed that way without any regard for how and why it's made. -- Frank Zappa
Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement. -- Frank Zappa
The devil, he's about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow's peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear. -- Frank Zappa
All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them. -- Frank Zappa
Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael. -- Frank Zappa
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. -- Frank Zappa
Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris? -- Frank Zappa
The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you ... and then, the worse things get. -- Frank Zappa
This here song might offend some, if it does it's because your dumb. -- Frank Zappa
The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. -- Frank Zappa
Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold. -- Frank Zappa
The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents - because they have a tame child-creature in their house. -- Frank Zappa
Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work ... -- Frank Zappa
I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole. -- Frank Zappa
Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes
America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we
have tolerated the last eight years? -- Frank Zappa
No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to. -- Frank Zappa
Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart - incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things. -- Frank Zappa
Did he really choose Tammy to do his work? -- Frank Zappa
Tighten my headband for an extra rush. -- Frank Zappa
King of kings, that must be Elvis. -- Frank Zappa
Tobacco is my favorite vegetable. -- Frank Zappa
I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right. -- Frank Zappa
Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy. -- Frank Zappa
Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you get a big ovation while the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around. -- Frank Zappa
Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be. -- Frank Zappa
I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated. -- Frank Zappa
Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man
and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is 'bad. -- Frank Zappa
I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't. -- Frank Zappa
There isn't anything weird about my music. -- Frank Zappa
The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it. -- Frank Zappa
Music is the best. -- Frank Zappa
Ram it up your poop chute. -- Frank Zappa
Nobody looks good bent over. Especially to pick up a check. -- Frank Zappa
It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties. -- Frank Zappa
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye. -- Frank Zappa
Hey, you know something people?
I'm not black
But there's a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I'm not white -- Frank Zappa
There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it. -- Frank Zappa
I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set! -- Frank Zappa
My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu. -- Frank Zappa
All that we got here is American made. It's a little bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed. -- Frank Zappa
I'll take a drive to Beverly Hills
Just before dawn
An' knock the little jockeys
Off the rich people's lawn
An' before they get up
I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Before they get up
I'll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn -- Frank Zappa
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over. -- Frank Zappa
To me absurdity is the only reality -- Frank Zappa
Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. -- Frank Zappa
Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts. -- Frank Zappa
People are just waiting around to get certified -- Frank Zappa
Don't do speed, speed turns you in to your parents. -- Frank Zappa
They's making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse. -- Frank Zappa
Well Mike, I'm abnormal. -- Frank Zappa
Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. -- Frank Zappa
Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then
(Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit
Is the Apostrophe(') -- Frank Zappa
Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you. -- Frank Zappa
If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. -- Frank Zappa
Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too. -- Frank Zappa
Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport -- Frank Zappa
On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express creatively his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole. -- Frank Zappa
Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money. -- Frank Zappa
I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa. -- Frank Zappa
These girls wouldn't let just anybody spew on their vital parts, they wanted a guy from a group with a big hit song on the charts. -- Frank Zappa
You're baloney without the mayo. -- Frank Zappa
If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing. -- Frank Zappa
If you pick up a guitar and it says, 'take me, I'm yours,' then that's the one for you -- Frank Zappa
Call any vegetable,
call it by name,
and the chances are good
that the vegetable will respond to you -- Frank Zappa
Catholic girls with tiny little mustaches. -- Frank Zappa
The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced. -- Frank Zappa
A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time. -- Frank Zappa
It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity -- Frank Zappa
Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government. -- Frank Zappa
The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property. -- Frank Zappa
The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway. -- Frank Zappa
All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. -- Frank Zappa
It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on. -- Frank Zappa
Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil. -- Frank Zappa
Drugs will turn you into your parents. -- Frank Zappa
Music is always a commentary on society. -- Frank Zappa
If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap -- Frank Zappa
It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner -- Frank Zappa
Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they're all a waste of time. It's your ass that's on the line. -- Frank Zappa
There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved. -- Frank Zappa
Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa
Studied law, but not qualified to practice it. -- Frank Zappa
Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut. -- Frank Zappa
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
Without deviation progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
I want a girl that can swallow my pride. -- Frank Zappa
Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure? -- Frank Zappa
A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole. -- Frank Zappa
Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph. -- Frank Zappa
Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes. -- Frank Zappa
Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it doesn't cause a murder. -- Frank Zappa
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. -- Frank Zappa
Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey's ass. -- Frank Zappa
Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines. -- Frank Zappa
Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming ... clouds of educated gnat-notes. -- Frank Zappa
Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary. -- Frank Zappa
Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble. -- Frank Zappa
He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin. -- Frank Zappa
Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun. -- Frank Zappa
A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment. -- Frank Zappa
Stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I'm gonna take my life. -- Frank Zappa
I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower. -- Frank Zappa
Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not. -- Frank Zappa
who are the brain police? -- Frank Zappa
A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want. -- Frank Zappa
Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better. -- Frank Zappa
May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face. -- Frank Zappa
You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain't what you're not. So see what you got? -- Frank Zappa
Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. -- Frank Zappa
Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians. -- Frank Zappa
They were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like Donovan fans. -- Frank Zappa
We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy. -- Frank Zappa
There are only two things to remember. Number one ... Don't Stop, and number two ... Keep Going! -- Frank Zappa
The ONLY thing that seems to band all nations together, is that their governments are universally bad ... -- Frank Zappa
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole. -- Frank Zappa
He likes to flirt with all the boys in the class. -- Frank Zappa
While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'. -- Frank Zappa
Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies? -- Frank Zappa
In every language, the first word after "Mama!" that every kid learns to say is "Mine!" A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say "Mine!" when you grow up, has -- Frank Zappa
The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse. -- Frank Zappa
The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. -- Frank Zappa
I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment. -- Frank Zappa
Two things are universal: Hydrogen and stupidity -- Frank Zappa
One and one is eleven. -- Frank Zappa
One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds. -- Frank Zappa
Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too. -- Frank Zappa
Hey, let's get serious ... God knows what he's doin' He wrote this book here And the book says: 'He made us all to be just like Him', So ... If we're dumb ... Then God is dumb ... (And maybe even a little ugly on the side) -- Frank Zappa
Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity. -- Frank Zappa
Suddenly, books are arriving every day! "So many books, so little time. -- Frank Zappa
I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner? -- Frank Zappa
It's a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money. -- Frank Zappa
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another. -- Frank Zappa
Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride. -- Frank Zappa
A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. -- Frank Zappa
Now air can get through. -- Frank Zappa
I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot. -- Frank Zappa
So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means. -- Frank Zappa
I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health. -- Frank Zappa
Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I'll love you, too. -- Frank Zappa
Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST. -- Frank Zappa
Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing. -- Frank Zappa
Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which? -- Frank Zappa
I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white. -- Frank Zappa
All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control -- Frank Zappa
What something is depends more on when it is than anything else. -- Frank Zappa
Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it. -- Frank Zappa
I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance. -- Frank Zappa
Organized religions by their very natures are misleading. -- Frank Zappa
Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table? -- Frank Zappa
She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato. -- Frank Zappa
The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray. -- Frank Zappa
So many books, so little time. -- Frank Zappa
Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. -- Frank Zappa
Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands. -- Frank Zappa
It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret. -- Frank Zappa
Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa
Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz. -- Frank Zappa
Jazz is the music of unemployment. -- Frank Zappa
The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay. -- Frank Zappa
Some people ... SOME PEOPLE like cupcakes better (but) I for one, could care LESS for them! -- Frank Zappa
With a tongue like a cow, she could make you go wow. -- Frank Zappa
I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' - there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out. -- Frank Zappa
Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins? -- Frank Zappa
Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya? -- Frank Zappa
Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care. -- Frank Zappa
The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows. -- Frank Zappa
The white zone is for loading and unloading only.
If you gotta load or unload, go to the white zone... -- Frank Zappa
The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart. -- Frank Zappa
Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away your personal freedom. -- Frank Zappa
Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go. -- Frank Zappa
I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma. -- Frank Zappa
It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. -- Frank Zappa
This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it. -- Frank Zappa
Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole? -- Frank Zappa
There is no hell, there's only France -- Frank Zappa
There is no hell. There is only France. -- Frank Zappa
It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems. -- Frank Zappa
The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too serious. -- Frank Zappa
The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air. -- Frank Zappa
Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress. -- Frank Zappa
The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down. -- Frank Zappa
Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. -- Frank Zappa
Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny. -- Frank Zappa
I hit you and I beat you and I told you that I love you. -- Frank Zappa
Never bend over for a Christian. -- Frank Zappa
My balls feel like a pair of maracas. -- Frank Zappa
Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything. -- Frank Zappa
Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence. -- Frank Zappa
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa
Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa
Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are. -- Frank Zappa
The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity -- Frank Zappa
Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great. -- Frank Zappa
I am the slime oozing out from your TV set. You will obey me while I lead you, and eat the garbage while I feed you. -- Frank Zappa
Just be glad you don't live in one of those little countries where at this very moment, music is severely restricted, or as it is in Iran, totally illegal. -- Frank Zappa
Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her. -- Frank Zappa
If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other? -- Frank Zappa
The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. -- Frank Zappa
Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight. -- Frank Zappa
I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it's much better musically than much of what's available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content. -- Frank Zappa
In order to deviate successfully, one has to have at least a passing acquaintance with whatever norm one expects to deviate from. -- Frank Zappa
Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA) -- Frank Zappa
Music is the only religion that delivers the goods. -- Frank Zappa
There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you! -- Frank Zappa
Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. -- Frank Zappa
Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something. -- Frank Zappa
Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die. -- Frank Zappa
Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on. -- Frank Zappa
I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don't like it, there's always Michael Jackson for them to listen to. -- Frank Zappa
Donnie and Marie can both take a bite. -- Frank Zappa
She was a steady date until she put on some weight. -- Frank Zappa
The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages. -- Frank Zappa
Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants? -- Frank Zappa
If we can't be free at least we can be cheap. -- Frank Zappa
Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. -- Frank Zappa
Unbind your mind, there is no time. -- Frank Zappa
The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device. -- Frank Zappa
We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots. -- Frank Zappa