Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Frank Zappa, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Frank Zappa quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 318 Frank Zappa quotes for you to read and share.

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Our criminal institutions are full of creeps like you who do wrong things, and many of them were driven to these crimes by the horrible force called music. -- Frank Zappa
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Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear. -- Frank Zappa
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You can bet everything will come to an end. It's going to be ugly and it's going to be a mess, and it's going to be something that somebody did in the name of God ... -- Frank Zappa
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Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water, they were passed to get votes. -- Frank Zappa
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When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else. -- Frank Zappa
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The richest people in the world aren't particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren't particularly smart or rich. ... That leaves me making music. But we can't talk about that. -- Frank Zappa
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They tried to make me go to Catholic school, too. I lasted a very short time. When the penguin came after me with a ruler, I was out of there. -- Frank Zappa
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The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on. -- Frank Zappa
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I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird. -- Frank Zappa
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Anybody who wants religion is welcome to it, as far as I'm concerned
I support your right to enjoy it. However, I would appreciate it if you exhibited more respect for the rights of those people who do not wish to share your dogma, rapture, or necrodestination. -- Frank Zappa
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I think that if you use the so-called "strong words" you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you. -- Frank Zappa
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Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to commercialism. And never the twain shall meet. -- Frank Zappa
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Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances. -- Frank Zappa
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I don't want to see any religious people in public office because they're working for another boss. -- Frank Zappa
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She is an office girl, her name is Betty. Her favorite group is Helen Reddy. -- Frank Zappa
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The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively
because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall? -- Frank Zappa
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Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons. -- Frank Zappa
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The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business -- Frank Zappa
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Shut Up and Play your Guitar. -- Frank Zappa
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If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep. -- Frank Zappa
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Her head is full of bubbles, her nose is petite, she looks like she never gets nothing to eat. -- Frank Zappa
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You is what you am, a cow don't make ham. -- Frank Zappa
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The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball ... I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon. -- Frank Zappa
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Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm the devil's advocate. We have our own worshipers. -- Frank Zappa
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Classical music is this music that was written by a bunch of dead people a long time ago. -- Frank Zappa
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Kid's heads are filled with so many nonfacts that when they get out of school they're totally unprepared to do anything. They can't read, they can't write, they can't think. Talk about child abuse. The U.S. school system as a whole qualifies. -- Frank Zappa
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Scientists believe that the universe is made of hydrogen because they claim it's the most plentiful ingredient. I claim that the most plentiful ingredient is stupidity. -- Frank Zappa
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There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. -- Frank Zappa
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Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe. -- Frank Zappa
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I think you should leave it up to the parent, because not all parents want to keep their children totally ignorant. -- Frank Zappa
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The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned. -- Frank Zappa
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You don't dig me, I don't understand what it is, I had my car reupholstered. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm not going to be Bill Clinton and say I never inhaled. I did inhale. I liked tobacco a lot better. -- Frank Zappa
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If classical music is the state of the art, then the arts are in a sad state. -- Frank Zappa
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Love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America. -- Frank Zappa
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I ain't the type for begging, I am not the type to plead. If she don't change those evil ways, I'm gonna make her bleed. -- Frank Zappa
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Left me here to cry alone with a bottle of juice and pork chop bone. -- Frank Zappa
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My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. -- Frank Zappa
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I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don't, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons. -- Frank Zappa
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I want a hairy little Jewish Princess with a brand new nose, who knows where it goes. -- Frank Zappa
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I want a steamy little Jewish Princess with over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums. I don't want no troll, I just want a Yemenite hole. -- Frank Zappa
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I want a horny little Jewish princess. -- Frank Zappa
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America was founded by the refuse of the religious fanatics of England, these undesirable elements that came over on the Mayflower. Ignorant, religious fanatics who land here and abuse the Indians. -- Frank Zappa
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Cocaine decisions that you make today, will mean nothing later on when you get nose decay. -- Frank Zappa
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Government is the Entertainment division of the military-industrial complex. -- Frank Zappa
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The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that. -- Frank Zappa
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Don't forget to vote. -- Frank Zappa
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For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973. -- Frank Zappa
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Don't eat the yellow snow. -- Frank Zappa
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Watch out where the Huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow -- Frank Zappa
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I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion. -- Frank Zappa
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Nothing I've ever written has been motivated by trying to impact or influence anybody. -- Frank Zappa
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Find you a bridge and take a jump. Just make certain you do it right the first time, cause nothing's worse than a suicide chump. -- Frank Zappa
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She use to knock me out until her face broke out. -- Frank Zappa
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This has to be the disease for you
Now scientists call this disease
Bromidrosis
But us regular folks
Who might wear tennis shoes
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience
By the name of:
Stink Foot -- Frank Zappa
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Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty. -- Frank Zappa
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I never have no trouble with my rubber girl. -- Frank Zappa
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Brown shoes don't make it. -- Frank Zappa
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People make a lot of fuss about my kids having such supposedly 'strange names', but the fact is that no matter what first names I might have given them, it is the last name that is going to get them in trouble. -- Frank Zappa
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Hendrix is one of the most revolutionary figures in today's pop culture, musically and sociologically. -- Frank Zappa
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The crux of the biscuit is: If it entertains you, fine. Enjoy it. If it doesn't, then blow it out your ass. I do it to amuse myself. If I like it, I release it. If somebody else likes it, that's a bonus. -- Frank Zappa
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Anyone who is disturbed by the idea of newts in a nightclub is potentially dangerous. -- Frank Zappa
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You've got to be digging it while it's happening 'cause it just might be a one shot deal. -- Frank Zappa
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He just got in the car, but the batteries dead. So he asks to use the phone and she gives him some head. -- Frank Zappa
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The Very Big Stupid is a thing which breeds by eating The Future. Have you seen it? It sometimes disguises itself as a good-looking quarterly bottom line, derived by closing the R&D department. -- Frank Zappa
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In your dreams you can see yourself as a prophet saving the world. -- Frank Zappa
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What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit? -- Frank Zappa
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Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon. -- Frank Zappa
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Books Are Good For Lots Of Uses, Not For Dropping In The Toilet. -- Frank Zappa
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You can't escape the puking sphinx. -- Frank Zappa
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The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons. -- Frank Zappa
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You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream. -- Frank Zappa
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You know, people are basically shitty. It's when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious. -- Frank Zappa
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The whiskers sticking up from underneath his pancake makeup, and yet he was a beautiful lady. -- Frank Zappa
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Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up. -- Frank Zappa
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I searched for years I found no love. I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity. -- Frank Zappa
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Elvis has left the building to climb up that heavenly stair. So what if he looks like a wart-hog in heat? -- Frank Zappa
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People like to own things. -- Frank Zappa
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Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die. -- Frank Zappa
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Basically I'm in the idea business
whether it's a musical idea or a spoken idea ... If you wind up with a political system that wants to put idea men out of business, then you have worry on your hands. -- Frank Zappa
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The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own. -- Frank Zappa
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Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too. -- Frank Zappa
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Let's be realistic about this, the guitar can be the single most blasphemous device on the face of the earth. That's why I like it ... The disgusting stink of a too-loud electric guitar: now that's my idea of a good time. -- Frank Zappa
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My guitar wants to kill your mama. -- Frank Zappa
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My school spirit is at an all time low, I'm losing my status at the school. -- Frank Zappa
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Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition. -- Frank Zappa
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On the Planet of Baritone women, they talk low. -- Frank Zappa
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I have been monitoring your earthly broadcasts for many years. -- Frank Zappa
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I think the anti-smoking business is a yuppie invention-an extension of the concept that we'll always be young, rich, and healthy. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do. -- Frank Zappa
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Scientology , how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ? -- Frank Zappa
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Decades of indoctrination, manipulation, censorship and KGB excursions haven't altered this fact: People want a piece of their own little Something-or-Other, and, if they don't get it, have a tendency to initiate counterrevolution. -- Frank Zappa
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I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric -- Frank Zappa
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Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public. -- Frank Zappa
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Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there. -- Frank Zappa
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Mama stroked his dinger, Daddy got stinky finger. -- Frank Zappa
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A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians. -- Frank Zappa
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I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. -- Frank Zappa
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I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs. -- Frank Zappa
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Without "Louie Louie" a symphony is not quite so grand. -- Frank Zappa
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The manner in which Americans 'consume' music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie
it's consumed that way without any regard for how and why it's made. -- Frank Zappa
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Anything played wrong twice in a row is the beginning of an arrangement. -- Frank Zappa
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The devil, he's about this big. He had a red suit on and a widow's peak, and then a pointed tail, and like a sulfur reek. Yes, it was him alright, I swear. -- Frank Zappa
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All the old history was written for the amusement of the ruling classes. The lower classes couldn't read, and their rulers didn't care about remembering what happened to them. -- Frank Zappa
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Michael is Janet and Janet is Michael. -- Frank Zappa
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If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. -- Frank Zappa
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Look here brother, who you jivin' with that cosmik debris? -- Frank Zappa
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The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it's going to bother you ... and then, the worse things get. -- Frank Zappa
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This here song might offend some, if it does it's because your dumb. -- Frank Zappa
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The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. -- Frank Zappa
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Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold. -- Frank Zappa
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The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents - because they have a tame child-creature in their house. -- Frank Zappa
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Ever try to have a conversation with someone on drugs? It just doesn't work ... -- Frank Zappa
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I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization - you can't just swallow it whole. -- Frank Zappa
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Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes
America great. If America weren't incomparably ignorant, how could we
have tolerated the last eight years? -- Frank Zappa
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No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to. -- Frank Zappa
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Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart - incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things. -- Frank Zappa
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Did he really choose Tammy to do his work? -- Frank Zappa
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Tighten my headband for an extra rush. -- Frank Zappa
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King of kings, that must be Elvis. -- Frank Zappa
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Tobacco is my favorite vegetable. -- Frank Zappa
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I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news ... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right. -- Frank Zappa
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Beware of the fish people, they are the true enemy. -- Frank Zappa
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Weedly-weedly-wee, make a face, hold your guitar like it's your weenie, point it heavenward, and look like you're really doing something. Then, you get a big ovation while the smoke bombs go off, and the motorized lights in your truss twirl around. -- Frank Zappa
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Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be. -- Frank Zappa
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I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated. -- Frank Zappa
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Do we really want to know how Michael Jackson makes his music? No. We want to understand why he needs the bones of the Elephant Man
and, until he tells us, it doesn't make too much difference whether or not he really is 'bad. -- Frank Zappa
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I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't. -- Frank Zappa
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There isn't anything weird about my music. -- Frank Zappa
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The poodle bites ; The poodle chews it. -- Frank Zappa
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Music is the best. -- Frank Zappa
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Ram it up your poop chute. -- Frank Zappa
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Nobody looks good bent over. Especially to pick up a check. -- Frank Zappa
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It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties. -- Frank Zappa
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He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye. -- Frank Zappa
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Hey, you know something people?
I'm not black
But there's a whole lots a times
I wish I could say I'm not white -- Frank Zappa
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There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it's going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set! -- Frank Zappa
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My English teacher, he's like, he's like Mr. Bu-fu. -- Frank Zappa
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All that we got here is American made. It's a little bit cheesy, but it's nicely displayed. -- Frank Zappa
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I'll take a drive to Beverly Hills
Just before dawn
An' knock the little jockeys
Off the rich people's lawn
An' before they get up
I'll be gone, I'll be gone
Before they get up
I'll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn -- Frank Zappa
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There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over. -- Frank Zappa
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To me absurdity is the only reality -- Frank Zappa
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Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. -- Frank Zappa
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Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts. -- Frank Zappa
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People are just waiting around to get certified -- Frank Zappa
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Don't do speed, speed turns you in to your parents. -- Frank Zappa
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They's making it worse, the labor movement got the mafia curse. -- Frank Zappa
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Well Mike, I'm abnormal. -- Frank Zappa
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Mr. Gorbachev has apparently stumbled onto one of the best-kept secrets in recent Soviet history: Communism doesn't work. -- Frank Zappa
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Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then
(Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit
Is the Apostrophe(') -- Frank Zappa
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Out on a 30 day tour, you got nothing, but groupies and promoters to love you. -- Frank Zappa
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If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it. -- Frank Zappa
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Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too. -- Frank Zappa
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Outdoors for me is walking from the car to the ticket desk at the airport -- Frank Zappa
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On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express creatively his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole. -- Frank Zappa
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Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money. -- Frank Zappa
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I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa. -- Frank Zappa
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These girls wouldn't let just anybody spew on their vital parts, they wanted a guy from a group with a big hit song on the charts. -- Frank Zappa
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You're baloney without the mayo. -- Frank Zappa
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If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing. -- Frank Zappa
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If you pick up a guitar and it says, 'take me, I'm yours,' then that's the one for you -- Frank Zappa
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Call any vegetable,
call it by name,
and the chances are good
that the vegetable will respond to you -- Frank Zappa
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Catholic girls with tiny little mustaches. -- Frank Zappa
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The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced. -- Frank Zappa
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A composer's job involves the decoration of fragments of time. -- Frank Zappa
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It would be easier to pay off the national debt overnight than to neutralise the long-range effects of our national stupidity -- Frank Zappa
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Behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government. -- Frank Zappa
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The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property. -- Frank Zappa
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The people of your century no longer require the service of composers. A composer is as useful to a person in a jogging suit as a dinsoaur turd in the middle of his runway. -- Frank Zappa
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All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff. -- Frank Zappa
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It's the same mysterious exotic oriental fragrance as what the Beatles get off on. -- Frank Zappa
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Sit and spin 'til you rot on the cosmic utensil. -- Frank Zappa
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Drugs will turn you into your parents. -- Frank Zappa
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Music is always a commentary on society. -- Frank Zappa
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If we cannot be free, we can at least be cheap -- Frank Zappa
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It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner -- Frank Zappa
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Moses, Aaron, Abraham, they're all a waste of time. It's your ass that's on the line. -- Frank Zappa
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There will never be a nuclear war; there's too much real estate involved. -- Frank Zappa
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Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa
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Studied law, but not qualified to practice it. -- Frank Zappa
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Elmer has the mentality of approximately one peanut. -- Frank Zappa
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Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
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Without deviation progress is not possible. -- Frank Zappa
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I want a girl that can swallow my pride. -- Frank Zappa
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Is this something new, having people stomp on you? Is it what I need to do for your pleasure? -- Frank Zappa
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A drug is neither moral nor immoral - it's a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole. -- Frank Zappa
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Consider for a moment any beauty in the name Ralph. -- Frank Zappa
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Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes. -- Frank Zappa
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Whatever you have to do to have a good time, let's get on with it, so long as it doesn't cause a murder. -- Frank Zappa
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Politics is the entertainment branch of industry. -- Frank Zappa
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Give me the enchilada with the pickle sauce shoved up between the donkey's ass. -- Frank Zappa
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Sexual gratification can only be achieved through the use of machines. -- Frank Zappa
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Guitar playing, as currently understood, has more to do with sports than it does to do with music. It's an Olympic challenge type of situation. The challenges are in the realm of speed, redundancy, choreography, and grooming ... clouds of educated gnat-notes. -- Frank Zappa
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Journalism is kind of scary and of it we should be wary. -- Frank Zappa
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Children are naive-they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble. -- Frank Zappa
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He wants to do you in cause the color of your skin. -- Frank Zappa
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Roller-skates and disco are a lot of fun, I'm much too young and stupid to operate a gun. -- Frank Zappa
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A wise man once said, never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment. -- Frank Zappa
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Stuff up the cracks, turn on the gas, I'm gonna take my life. -- Frank Zappa
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I can take about an hour on the tower of power, as long as I gets a little golden shower. -- Frank Zappa
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Stupidity has a certain charm - ignorance does not. -- Frank Zappa
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who are the brain police? -- Frank Zappa
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A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want. -- Frank Zappa
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Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better. -- Frank Zappa
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May your shit come to life and kiss you on the face. -- Frank Zappa
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You are what you is, you is what you am, you ain't what you're not. So see what you got? -- Frank Zappa
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Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. -- Frank Zappa
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Nobody gives a crap if we're great musicians. -- Frank Zappa
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They were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like Donovan fans. -- Frank Zappa
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We could improve worldwide mental health if we acknowledged that parents can make you crazy. -- Frank Zappa
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There are only two things to remember. Number one ... Don't Stop, and number two ... Keep Going! -- Frank Zappa
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The ONLY thing that seems to band all nations together, is that their governments are universally bad ... -- Frank Zappa
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A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole. -- Frank Zappa
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He likes to flirt with all the boys in the class. -- Frank Zappa
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While your children are sleeping, your puppy is crappin'. -- Frank Zappa
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Did you ever consider that LSD was really one of the most dangerous drugs ever manufactured because the people who took it turned into yuppies? -- Frank Zappa
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In every language, the first word after "Mama!" that every kid learns to say is "Mine!" A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say "Mine!" when you grow up, has -- Frank Zappa
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The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse. -- Frank Zappa
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The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. -- Frank Zappa
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I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment. -- Frank Zappa
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Two things are universal: Hydrogen and stupidity -- Frank Zappa
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One and one is eleven. -- Frank Zappa
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One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds. -- Frank Zappa
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Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too. -- Frank Zappa
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Hey, let's get serious ... God knows what he's doin' He wrote this book here And the book says: 'He made us all to be just like Him', So ... If we're dumb ... Then God is dumb ... (And maybe even a little ugly on the side) -- Frank Zappa
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Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity. -- Frank Zappa
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Suddenly, books are arriving every day! "So many books, so little time. -- Frank Zappa
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I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone's teeth get cleaner? -- Frank Zappa
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It's a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money. -- Frank Zappa
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There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another. -- Frank Zappa
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Believe it or not, there are places in the world where music is important. There are places in the world where all the arts are a matter of national pride. -- Frank Zappa
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A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open. -- Frank Zappa
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Now air can get through. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm more interested in melodic things. I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot. -- Frank Zappa
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So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there's no way you're gonna find out what it means. -- Frank Zappa
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I think that people are entitled to be amused, and entertained. If they see deviations from this classical norm, it's probably good for their mental health. -- Frank Zappa
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Wowie zowie, love me do. Wowie zowie, and I'll love you, too. -- Frank Zappa
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Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST. -- Frank Zappa
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Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing. -- Frank Zappa
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Am I a boy or a lady, I don't know which? -- Frank Zappa
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I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white. -- Frank Zappa
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All your children are poor unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control -- Frank Zappa
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What something is depends more on when it is than anything else. -- Frank Zappa
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Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it. -- Frank Zappa
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I would say that today, dishonesty is the rule, and honesty the exception. It could be, statistically, that more people are honest than dishonest, but the few that really control things are not honest, and that tips the balance. -- Frank Zappa
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Organized religions by their very natures are misleading. -- Frank Zappa
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Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'
Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table? -- Frank Zappa
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She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago. His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato. -- Frank Zappa
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The NRA, with the fingers on the triggers when they kneel and pray. -- Frank Zappa
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So many books, so little time. -- Frank Zappa
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Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. -- Frank Zappa
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Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands. -- Frank Zappa
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It's better to have something to remember than anything to regret. -- Frank Zappa
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Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa
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Wisdom is not the domain of the Wiz. -- Frank Zappa
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Jazz is the music of unemployment. -- Frank Zappa
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The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay. -- Frank Zappa
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Some people ... SOME PEOPLE like cupcakes better (but) I for one, could care LESS for them! -- Frank Zappa
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With a tongue like a cow, she could make you go wow. -- Frank Zappa
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I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' - there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out. -- Frank Zappa
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Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins? -- Frank Zappa
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Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya? -- Frank Zappa
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Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care. -- Frank Zappa
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The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows. -- Frank Zappa
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only.
If you gotta load or unload, go to the white zone... -- Frank Zappa
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The closer you are, the brighter the flames in my heart. -- Frank Zappa
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Censoring what you say is one of the ways in which people who are not nice can take away your personal freedom. -- Frank Zappa
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Love of my life, I love you so. Love of my life, don't ever go. -- Frank Zappa
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I'm in a big dilemma about my Big-Leg Emma. -- Frank Zappa
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It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia. -- Frank Zappa
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This is a stupid song and that's the way I like it. -- Frank Zappa
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Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole? -- Frank Zappa
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There is no hell, there's only France -- Frank Zappa
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There is no hell. There is only France. -- Frank Zappa
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It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems. -- Frank Zappa
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The whole Universe is a large joke. Everything in the Universe are just subdivisions of this joke. So why take anything too serious. -- Frank Zappa
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The whole music business in the United States is based on numbers, based on unit sales and not on quality. It's not based on beauty, it's based on hype and it's based on cocaine. It's based on giving presents of large packages of dollars to play records on the air. -- Frank Zappa
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Without deviance from normality, there can be no progress. -- Frank Zappa
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The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down. -- Frank Zappa
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Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. -- Frank Zappa
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Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny. -- Frank Zappa
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I hit you and I beat you and I told you that I love you. -- Frank Zappa
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Never bend over for a Christian. -- Frank Zappa
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My balls feel like a pair of maracas. -- Frank Zappa
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Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything. -- Frank Zappa
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Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence. -- Frank Zappa
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You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa
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Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read. -- Frank Zappa
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Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are. -- Frank Zappa
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The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity -- Frank Zappa
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Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance, it's what makes America great. -- Frank Zappa
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I am the slime oozing out from your TV set. You will obey me while I lead you, and eat the garbage while I feed you. -- Frank Zappa
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Just be glad you don't live in one of those little countries where at this very moment, music is severely restricted, or as it is in Iran, totally illegal. -- Frank Zappa
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Find her, blind her, see who designed her. Act like a dummy until you grind her. -- Frank Zappa
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If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other? -- Frank Zappa
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The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people. -- Frank Zappa
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Do your job and do it right, life's a ball, TV tonight. -- Frank Zappa
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I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it's much better musically than much of what's available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content. -- Frank Zappa
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In order to deviate successfully, one has to have at least a passing acquaintance with whatever norm one expects to deviate from. -- Frank Zappa
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Anything Anytime Anyplace For No Reason At All (or AAAFNRAA) -- Frank Zappa
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Music is the only religion that delivers the goods. -- Frank Zappa
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There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you! -- Frank Zappa
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Most people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. -- Frank Zappa
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Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something. -- Frank Zappa
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Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die. -- Frank Zappa
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Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on. -- Frank Zappa
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I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don't like it, there's always Michael Jackson for them to listen to. -- Frank Zappa
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Donnie and Marie can both take a bite. -- Frank Zappa
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She was a steady date until she put on some weight. -- Frank Zappa
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The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages. -- Frank Zappa
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Listen honey, would I lie to you to get in your pants? -- Frank Zappa
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If we can't be free at least we can be cheap. -- Frank Zappa
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Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. -- Frank Zappa
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Unbind your mind, there is no time. -- Frank Zappa
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The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device. -- Frank Zappa
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We was on our way to fame, got matching suits and Beatle boots. -- Frank Zappa