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Next thing Driggs knew, Lex was rummaging around in the closet. 'Are you looking for your sanity?' he called after her. 'Because I do believe it showed itself out a while ago. -- Gina Damico
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Smack me if we ever get that awful."
"But I smack you so often," she said, "how will you know that's what I'm smacking you for?"
"We shall work out a smacking code. -- Gina Damico
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Should she go on? Or drop it? Maybe this was one of those things that people should keep to themselves, like a hatred of baby pandas or a passion for polka music. Everyone needs a secret or two. -- Gina Damico
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There comes a time in every young girl's life when she is instructed by a complete stranger to scale a tall ladder for dinner atop a roof, and in almost every case the best thing to do is refuse and run home to call the asylum from which the stranger escaped. -- Gina Damico
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Hey, I'll have you know that with recent 3D imaging, Ichthyosaurus communis is more alive than ever!"
"Talk like the Discovery Channel all you want, but a book of fossils and a tub of plaster does not an orgy make. -- Gina Damico
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It's a timeline!' Elysia exclaimed.
'Thanks, Captain Obvious,' said Ferbus.
Elysia glared at him. 'Thank you, Captain Overused Expression.'
'No, thank you, Captain Shut Your Facehole. -- Gina Damico
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But Mort caught me before I even left the house and insisted on taking me himself, figuring that I would probably go and investigate on my own no matter how many times he stopped me."
"Little Driggs sounds a lot like me," Said Lex.
"Please don't besmirch his memory. -- Gina Damico
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It's just kind of a big deal, is all."
"Well, I'm kind of a big deal."
A smile spread across his face. "I can see that. -- Gina Damico
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The festivities were broken up by Pandora, who lobbed a scoop of ice cream at Lex that landed on the table with a sticky sploosh.
"Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!" she screeched, jigging back into the kitchen. -- Gina Damico
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Seriously?" she said with a glance of skepticism. Driggs and this nerdlinger? "You guys are best friends?"
Ferbus looked up briefly to give her a smug look. "We prefer the term heterosexual life mates. -- Gina Damico
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And you're going to help me find it."
"Oh, really?" he replied with a wry grin. "Why's that?"
"Because you promised to love me," she said in a dopey voice. "And, uh...honor me...and protect..."
He snickered. "Shut up, spaz. -- Gina Damico
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What in the name of chicken fried steak is going on here? -- Gina Damico
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Let me tell you something right now, something that I don't want you ever to forget: Starbucks is an abomination.
Lex was speechless. She now believed that there was no way in a million years this man could possibly be a blood relative. -- Gina Damico
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At least yours talks," Elysia said, irritably shoving a fry into her mouth. "Mine just stares. Like a cow. -- Gina Damico
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We were just showering," Lex muttered.
"Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance. -- Gina Damico
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I'm not scared of anything. But cats ... ' He blew out a puff of air and shook his head. Those soulless eyes. That depraved indifference. Cats are evil, dude. -- Gina Damico
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She wished she had a set of greeting cards at the ready, but Hallmark probably didn't make any that said Thank you for giving up your life so that me and my friends could escape! It was SO appreciated. XOXO! -- Gina Damico
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Oh, no, nothing. It's just - " He sounded embarrassed. "Your lips are really goopy. And wet. Like a glazed ham." Lex exhaled, relieved. True, her boyfriend had just compared her to a pork product, but it was a lot better than the alternative. "I know, it's disgusting. -- Gina Damico
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I was a teenage boy once too, you know," Uncle Mort said, popping back up. "I know what your brain looks like. It's a three-ring circus in there. -- Gina Damico
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Just because it's the biggest secret in the history of the world doesn't make it any less true. -- Gina Damico
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Who knows why you kids do any of the crap you do?"
"And who knows why you guys are such assholes?" Lex countered, taking a sip of her soda. "Life is just full of little mysteries, isn't it? -- Gina Damico
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There he is!" Ferbus drunkenly shouted as Uncle Mort and Lex returned to the car with the food, sloshing his Yorick all over Driggs. "Captain Sandwich and the Condiment Kid! -- Gina Damico
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Lex's jaw dropped. She started to object, but the look Zara shot her could have silenced a pack of screech monkeys. -- Gina Damico
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the Incident That Must Not Be Named -- Gina Damico
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Lex was about to ask what in the dickens that was supposed to mean, but then Uncle Mort nodded at Wicket in a secretive manner, which roughly translated as 'Screw you and your curiosities, Lex. We're telling you NOTHING. -- Gina Damico
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Um, sweetums?" Driggs piped up.
Lex blew a sweaty clump of hair off her forehead. "What did you just call me?"
He sank further under her glower. "I just - ow ! -- Gina Damico
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Life isn't fair. Why should death be any different? -- Gina Damico
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Maybe sometimes you have to topple a secret empire that's been around for centuries in order to save one that's been around forever. -- Gina Damico
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Four months ago you refused to believe a place like Croak even existed, and now look at you. All jazzed up and concocting crackpot theories that probably involve a hidden flock of unicorns."
"Or dinosaurs," Lex said with a grin. "Let's not prematurely dismiss a Jurassic Park scenario. -- Gina Damico
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As everyone knows, the only population more catty than a pack of actual cats is a clique of teenage girls. -- Gina Damico
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He reached for the Cheetos bag, then, remembering that it was empty, frowned. "You got anything else? Combos?"
"No."
"Cheez-Its?"
"No."
"Meth?"
"What?" Max shouted, horrified. "No!"
"Ugh," the man groaned. "No one EVER has meth. -- Gina Damico
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Yeah, well, love doesn't always beat out the fear."
"Sometimes it does," he replied with a smile, pecking her on the nose.
"Christ, Driggs. You're turning into a Lifetime movie."
"Your defense mechanisms are captivating, as always. -- Gina Damico
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Where did you hear that?" he shouted over Driggs' cries of pain from the back seat.
"Driggs told me," she quickly answered.
"Thanks, pumpkin," Driggs groaned. "Love you too. -- Gina Damico
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On crack. It was as if the town had been placed in a blender with a giant disco ball, shaken with a Mardi Gras parade, and then had vomited a pile of glitter and tinsel all over itself. -- Gina Damico
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He exuded the air of someone who hated this earth and everything on it and would be much happier if it just broke free of its orbit and hurled itself into the sun. -- Gina Damico
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Souls live on without their bodies. But bodies without souls are nothing but compost. -- Gina Damico
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What colour was her scythe?"
"Sadly, I wasn't able to take the time to appreciate its subtle hues as it tore through my skin. -- Gina Damico
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You've been back here in my presence for two agonizing hours now, and if we don't properly make out soon, I'm going to hurl myself off the roof. -- Gina Damico
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What about me? I'll be okay in here. The Afterlife may be second-best cheesecake, but it's still cheesecake. -- Gina Damico
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Driggs, wake up." she shook him. "Driggs!"
"Whaaat?" he groaned, squinting. "Why again? With the shaking?"
She held up the scrap. "I just found this in your pants."
Driggs raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing in my pants?"
She smacked him. "Focus! Read what it says. -- Gina Damico
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No, I mean the key," he said. "It's made of bone."
Lex raised an eyebrow. "As in ivory?"
"As in human."
She let out a shriek and dropped it.
"Sweet dreams," he said with a smirk, closing the door. -- Gina Damico
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Momentarily forgetting how wind works, Lex tried spitting at him. This failed -- Gina Damico
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College visit for the weekend," Wall said. "'Bama." "Oh." Max tried to nod knowingly. "Sure. Go Gators." They all looked at him as if he'd kicked the Pope in the junk. "Max," Audie said, aghast, "it's Roll Tide. -- Gina Damico
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Five minutes later she had rearranged them into several words, none of which made any sense.
"Nosy tennis?" she said. "No, wait. Sticky cabin? Shitty chicken?"
Driggs frowned. "Wait-"
"Shitty chicken? Really, Driggs?"
"No, no. Cabin. -- Gina Damico
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My undercarriage is a national treasure. -- Gina Damico
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What about a warning system?" Heloise said.
"The entire encounter lasted less than five seconds, Hel. I doubt that even with your admirable ability to sprint in heels, you would have been able to get there in time. -- Gina Damico
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You going to let him talk to me like that?" Driggs said to Lex. "Defend my honor, woman."
"Defend your own honor, -- Gina Damico
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Uncle Mort to Lex and Driggs: And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand? -- Gina Damico
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Hang on," Driggs said as Lex pulled out Bone's note. "She might be right."
Lex gave him a look. "You don't have to sound so shocked about it."
"But it happens so rarely. Like an eclipse. -- Gina Damico
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Hey there cutie," he said. "What's your name?"
Lex rolled her eyes and turned toward the window. "Kill me."
"Kimmy? I'm Steve," he went on undeterred.
"Cram it, Steve -- Gina Damico
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And I got myself a camel," Cordy finished with a smile.
Lex stared at her. "Why?"
"Duh, Lex, because I can . -- Gina Damico
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Poison? Drugs?"
"No chemical works that instantly. You saw the guy - it looked like he was still reading his program."
"Then what, magical fairy dust? Vulcan death grip?"
"Focus, Lex. Wake up that lonely brain cell. -- Gina Damico
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Fine!" he relented, giving her a dirty look. "But only if you stay in front."
She rolled her eyes. "My, what chivalry."
"To hell with chivalry. Your idea, you die first. -- Gina Damico
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And what in the name of all this is disturbing did you mean when you said you're going to teach me how to Kill people?"
He snickered. "You didn't really think you were going to spend the whole summer milking cows, did you? -- Gina Damico
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Ghosts can't become solid, Lex thought. Ghosts can't throw cheese balls!
And then: That might be the weirdest sentence I've ever thought. -- Gina Damico
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The sanest member of the party is always the first to lose it. That's how you know they are on the right track -- Gina Damico
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Do something!" Norwood told him.
"Do what?" Uncle Mort's face was furious. "Fly up there and get it? You bring your broomstick, Hel? -- Gina Damico
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I wouldn't go around telling people about these shocks of yours."
"Why not?" Lex asked.
"It's like announcing to the would you have crabs. It's embarrassing, and no one'll ever shake your hand again. -- Gina Damico
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Kloo nodded at Lex in an indescribably maternal way, somehow cramming a lifetime of compassion, support, and tenderness all into one slight bounce of the head. -- Gina Damico
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Ferbus rammed his hands over his ears. "Floating head is loud," he complained. "Make stop. -- Gina Damico
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Ah, bribery." He grinned at his niece. "is there anything it can't do? -- Gina Damico
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Ferbus stared in wonder. "He's like a bag of microwave popcorn."
Driggs finally spoke, his voice equally amazed. "But popcorn tends to stop popping after a couple of minutes. He's ... still going. -- Gina Damico
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We have to get to a hospital," Elysia said, straining under the weight of Ferbus. "We're losing him."
"Your FACE is losing him," Ferbus confirmed. -- Gina Damico
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What's wrong?" Elysia asked, concerned. "Is it the fact that the very foundation of our world is crumbling all around us and we're barreling forth into a hellish vision of uncertainty and terror the likes of which have never been seen?"

"Sounds wonderful to me," Edgar said, drifting by. -- Gina Damico
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Not even the tallest mountain of raccoon droppings could ever get in the way of my love for you.'
'That might be the most romantic thing you've ever said to me.'
'It's Shakespeare. One of the sonnets. -- Gina Damico
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You can only coo over so many teacup poodles before you start to believe they're absolutely essential to life. -- Gina Damico
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I've tried so hard to be good. -- Gina Damico
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You lied to me!"
"You're going to have to be more specific. What did I lie to you about this time? -- Gina Damico
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Broccoli spaceship. Broccoli SPACESHIP! -- Gina Damico
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But they were her parents! Putting up with all of her crap was their official job - they couldn't wriggle out of it! She tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat. How could they do this to her? -- Gina Damico
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She wished, as almost all kids wish at one point or another, that she could turn into a pterodactyl and fly away and never come back. -- Gina Damico
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The-what? You went over my head?"
"It wasn't easy, I assure you," said Uncle Mort, shifting the car into gear. "That thing gets bigger every day. -- Gina Damico
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Driggs, stop it."
"What?"
"You're trying to get me to talk about my feelings."
"So?"
"So you're not Oprah. Leave me alone. -- Gina Damico
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Let me go!" She tore off a mirror and brandished it in his face. "I mean it! I don't want to go to your godforsaken hellbarn, you retarded psycho farmer! -- Gina Damico
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Smack me if we ever get that awful."
"But I strong>sstrong>mack you strong>sstrong>o often," strong>sstrong>he strong>sstrong>aid, "how will you know that'strong>sstrong> what I'm strong>sstrong>macking you for?"
"We strong>sstrong>hall work out a strong>sstrong>macking code. -- Gina Damico
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Smack me if we ever get that awful."br>"But I smack you so often," she said, "how will you know that's what I'm smacking you for?"br>"We shall work out a smacking code. -- Gina Damico