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Josh turns to me. "I can't believe she's writing these things." "Not she," I say. "Me." "Why would anyone say this stuff about themselves on the Internet? It's crazy!" "Exactly," I say. "I'm going to be mentally ill in fifteen years, and that's why my husband doesn't want to be around me. -- Jay Asher
I wanted to tell you everything. And that hurt because some things were too scary. Some things even I didn't understand. How could I tell someone - someone I was really talking to for the first time - everything I was thinking? I couldn't. It was too soon. -- Jay Asher
It was love because it was worth it. -- Jay Asher
Because when you're posed, you know someone's watching. You put on your very best smile. You let your sweetest personality shine. -- Jay Asher
But sometimes there's nothing left to do but move on. -- Jay Asher
If you hear a song that makes you cry and you don't want to cry anymore, you don't listen to that song anymore. -- Jay Asher
It seemed that I was the only one who cared about me. -- Jay Asher
With everything going on in my life-going on in my head-I wanted to talk with you. Really talk. Just once. A chance we never seemed to get at school. Or at work. A chance to ask, Who are you? -- Jay Asher
Trust me, not every girl would give up his sweatshirt just because a girl asks. -- Jay Asher
Hey, it's Hannah. Hannah Baker. -- Jay Asher
I've always loved brainstorming with other writers, and I consider having my work critiqued a part of that brainstorming. -- Jay Asher
His door is closed behind me. It's staying closed. He's letting me go. I think I've made myself very clear, but no ones stepping forward to stop me. A lot of you cared, just not enough. And that ... that is what i needed to find out. And I did find out. And I'm sorry. -- Jay Asher
When we were alone, it was so easy to talk to Hannah. It was so easy to laugh with her. But whenever people came around, I got shy. I backed off. I didn't know how to act anymore. -- Jay Asher
I didn't humiliate him by pointing it out because that's not how you treat friends. You don't judge them. You don't humiliate them. I bet he's been judging me all along. -- Jay Asher
Emma:"He broke your heart! How can you call it love when he
hurt you so badly?"
Kellan:"It was love
because it was worth it. -- Jay Asher
And then we turn 18 and even though we never had an original thought we have to make the most important decission of our lives. -- Jay Asher
You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much - too tiring - and you consider letting go. -- Jay Asher
Unsure of what I was. An optimist? A pessimist?
Neither. A fool. -- Jay Asher
It's hard to be disappointed when what you expected turns out to be true. -- Jay Asher
The main thing I wanted to say, and thankfully it's what most people say they get out of the book, is simply an acknowledgement that we do affect each other in ways we can't predict. -- Jay Asher
People grow apart, and sometimes, there nothing anyone can do about it. -- Jay Asher
Because you never wore makeup, Hannah. You didn't need it. -- Jay Asher
When someone says your name like that, when they won't even look you in the eyes, there is nothing more you can do or say. Their mind is made up. -- Jay Asher
Sierra, it's Christmastime. Put a stupid mistletoe over his head and kiss him already! -- Jay Asher
That's when I said it. That's when I whispered to her, "I'm so sorry." Because inside, I felt so happy and sad at the same time. Sad that it took me so long to get there. But happy that we got there together. -- Jay Asher
Step-by-step. That's how we'll get through this. One foot in front of the other. -- Jay Asher
Because our lies matched. It was a sign. -- Jay Asher
Do you remember the last thing you said to me? The last thing you did to me? And what was the last thing I said to you? Because trust me when I said it I knew it was the last thing I'd ever say. -- Jay Asher
You okay?"
It's a residential street, but it's not the street of the party.
I shake my head no.
"Are you going to be okay?" he asks.
I lean back, resting my head against the seat, and close my eyes. "I miss her. -- Jay Asher
Why can't you go back to playing princess?" "I never played princess." "Are you kidding?" he says. "Whenever Heather's mom took the two of you to the parade, you wore your fanciest dress, pretending to be the Winter Queen." "Exactly!" I say. "Queen, not princess. You raised me better than that. -- Jay Asher
I swear, guys in groups are capable of the stupidest things."
"Like war," Kellan says, heaping napkins and ketchup packets onto her tray.
"And jumping off rooftops."
"And lighting their farts on fire," she says. -- Jay Asher
We both laugh. And it feels good. A release. Like laughing at a funeral. Maybe inappropriate, but definitely needed. -- Jay Asher
Sometimes, there's no one around to tell you to be quiet... to be very, very quiet. Sometimes you need to be quiet when you're all alone. -- Jay Asher
You told me I wrote that poem because I was afraid of dealing with myself. And I used my mom as an excuse, accusing her of not appreciating or accepting me, when I should have been saying those words into a mirror. -- Jay Asher
Could be my soul mate / two kindred spirits / Maybe we're not / I guess we'll never / know -- Jay Asher
I'm sure you heard a lot of sarcastic remarks when you first arrived, but by the time I got there, to everyone else you were just a part of the party. But unlike everyone else, you were the whole reason I came. -- Jay Asher
The longer you wait, and this is true, the slower the hands will move. -- Jay Asher
I wonder if she means Graham. His locker is near mine, so I get to see him pull Emma into a groping session every morning.
It always fills me with so much joy. -- Jay Asher
It reminded me of innocence. And I wanted my first kiss to be just that. Innocent. -- Jay Asher
Here's a tip. If you touch a girl, even as joke, and she pushes you off, leave ... her ... alone. Don't touch her. Anywhere! Just stop. Your touch does nothing but sicken her. -- Jay Asher
If time was a string connecting all of your stories, that party would be the point where everything knots up. And that knot keeps growing and growing, getting more and more tangled, dragging the rest of your stories into it. -- Jay Asher
I simply wanted a kiss. I was a freshman girl who had never been kissed. Never. But I liked the boy, he liked me, and I was going to kiss him. That's the story, the whole story, right there. -- Jay Asher
Everything seemed good, but I knew it had the potential to be awful. -- Jay Asher
And it feels strange, almost sad, to walk through ther empty halls. Each step I take sounds so lonely. -- Jay Asher
If not for that party, I never would have met the real you. But for some reason, and I am extremely grateful, you gave me that chance. However brief it was, you gave me a chance. And I liked the Hannah I met that night. Maybe I could've even loved her. But -- Jay Asher
I'm sorry. Once again, those were the words. And now, anytime someone says I'm sorry, I'm going to think of her. -- Jay Asher
Those are some strong currents you're swimming against. -- Jay Asher
He looks out into the empty street, allowing me to sit in his car and just miss her. To miss her each time I pull in a breath of air. To miss her with a heart that feels so cold by itself, but warm when thoughts of her flow through me. -- Jay Asher
I was so anxious about what kind of kiss it would be-because my friends back home described so many types-and it turned out to be the beautiful kind. You didn't shove your tongue down my throat. You didn't grab my butt. We just held our lips together ... and kissed. -- Jay Asher
Actually, I love trying to figure out why certain books become hits while others, which may be just as good, have trouble finding an audience. -- Jay Asher
I want to collapse. I want to fall on the sidewalk right them and drag myself to the ivy. -- Jay Asher
One little ripple started today could create a typhoon fifteen years from now. -- Jay Asher
And then ... well ... certain thoughts begin creeping around. Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust? Will my life ever go where I want it to? -- Jay Asher
It's nothing. A school project. My go-to answer for anything. Staying out late? School project. Need extra money? School project. -- Jay Asher
Unlike old age or cancer, no one anticipates a suicide. -- Jay Asher
Unanswered? I would've answered any question, Hannah. But you never asked. -- Jay Asher
As the song goes, 'You are lost and gone forever, oh my darling, Valentine.'
[ ... ]
I'm listening to someone give up. Someone I knew. Someone I liked.
I'm listening. But still, I'm too late. -- Jay Asher
When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it. -- Jay Asher
Don't give up on me now. I'm sorry. I guess that's an odd thing to say. Because isn't that what I'm doing? Giving up? -- Jay Asher
And here he is again, yet things feel like they'll never be as easy between us as they once were. -- Jay Asher
You can't stop the future You can't rewind the past The only way to learn the secret ... is to press play. -- Jay Asher
Now, why would a dead girl lie?
Hey! That sounds like a joke. Why would a dead girl lie? Answer: Because she can't stand up. -- Jay Asher
You need to figure out what you want, Josh. If that means you need to swim against the tide to get it, at least youre aiming for something that could make you very happy. -- Jay Asher
I could picture life - school and everything else - continuing on without me. But I could not picture my funeral. Not at all. Mostly because I couldn't imagine who would attend or what they would say. -- Jay Asher
Do you know love and hate share same nervous circuits in the brain? - Kellan -- Jay Asher
You've known this for a while, Ryan. I'm sure of it. At the first mention of poetry, you knew this one was about you. You had to. Though I'm sure you must have thought, This can't be why I'm on the tapes. It wasn't a big deal. -- Jay Asher
Everything...affects everything -- Jay Asher
I was too weak to walk. At least, I thought I was too weak. But in truth, I was too weak to try. -- Jay Asher
Everything about it was false. Right then, in that office, with the realization that no one knew the truth about my life, my thoughts about the world were shaken. -- Jay Asher
You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is ... now. -- Jay Asher
Words too soft for me to hear at this distance. But in the end, the words reach me. -- Jay Asher
One day, at least it seemed that fast, she just stopped wanting to be a part of anything. -- Jay Asher
I want to look back. To look over my shoulder and see the Stop sign with huge reflective letters, pleading with Hannah. Stop! -- Jay Asher
It's up to the reader to decipher the code, or the words, based on everything the know about life and emotions. -- Jay Asher
A rumor started a reputation that other people believed in and reacted to. And sometimes a rumor has a snowball effect. A rumor, is just the beginning. -- Jay Asher
Definitely beats my first kiss. Seventh grade, Andrea Williams, behind the gym after school. She came over to my table at lunch, whispered the proposition in my ear, and I had a hard-on for the rest of the day. -- Jay Asher
Right, but he also thinks every episode of Friends is life-changing. Josh -- Jay Asher
I hate not knowing what to believe anymore. I hate not knowing what's real. -- Jay Asher
You can't rewrite the past -- Jay Asher
Yes, it feels great to plan your life when you believe everything can turn out fine. But what about when you're shown, again and again, how little control you have over anything? No matter what I do to try to fix my future, it doesn't work. -- Jay Asher
I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why. -- Jay Asher
Josh will begin disappearing into a future where the only place he and I remain friends is on the Internet. -- Jay Asher
If you could hear other people's thoughts, you'd overhear things that are true as well as things that are completely random. And you wouldn't know one from the other. It'd drive you insane. What's true? What's not? A million ideas, but what do they mean? -- Jay Asher
God, I am freaking out. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe I just look guilty of something and he's picking up on that. -- Jay Asher
It was one of those things where, once I noticed it, I couldn't stop noticing it. -- Jay Asher
How can you call it love when it hurt you so badly?"
"It was love because it was worth it. -- Jay Asher
Around the opposite sex, especially back then, my tongue twisted into knots even a Boy Scout would walk away from -- Jay Asher
I stood there and watched you disappear. Forever -- Jay Asher
dont take me for granted again, your been watched - thirteen reasons why -- Jay Asher
Why would anyone say this stuff about themselves on the Internet? It's crazy! -- Jay Asher
I'm a...paperback, write-in-the-margins kind of girl. -- Jay Asher
Because what if I got to know you and you turned out to be just like they said? What if you weren't the person I hoped you were?
That, more than anything, would have hurt the most. -- Jay Asher
Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust? -- Jay Asher
No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same. -- Jay Asher
Because I've heard so many stories that I don't know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth. -- Jay Asher
We didn't get that chance because I was afraid. Afraid I had no chance with you. -- Jay Asher
If my love were an ocean,
there would be no more land.
If my love were a desert,
you would see only sand.
If my love were a star-
late at night, only light.
And if my love could grow wings,
I'd be soaring in flight. -- Jay Asher
After all, how often do we get a second chance? -- Jay Asher
A lot of you cared, just not enough. -- Jay Asher
I don't know how to fully enjoy any of these moments without wondering if it's the last. -- Jay Asher
And what about you-the rest of you-did you notice the scars you left behind? No. Probably not. Because most of them can't be seen with the naked eye. -- Jay Asher
No one know for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. -- Jay Asher
It's your heart. No one else gets a say in that. -- Jay Asher
People think what they want. That's what I've had to accept," he says. "I can fight it, but that's exhausting. I can feel hurt about it, but that's torture. Or I can decide it's their loss. -- Jay Asher
Because it may seem like a small role now, but it matters. In the end, everything matters. -- Jay Asher
Watching those guys pummel each other so no one would suspect them of being weak was too much for me. Their reputations were more important than their faces. -- Jay Asher
Good for her, I guess. Cody's a conceited dick, but whatever makes her happy. -- Jay Asher
When you try rescuing someone and discover they can't be reached, why would you ever throw that back in their face? -- Jay Asher
Or deep down, maybe there was more. Maybe I wanted someone to figure out who wrote the note and secretly come to my rescue.
Maybe. I don't know. But I was careful never to give myself away. -- Jay Asher
After your visits, I twisted my blinds shut every night. I locked out the stars and I never saw lightning again. Each night, I simply turned out the lights and went to bed. -- Jay Asher
If I had a chance with him, I missed it. No, I didn't miss it. I threw it away. -- Jay Asher
Normally when a person has a stellar image another person's waiting in the wings to tear them apart. They're waiting for that one fatal flaw to expose itself. -- Jay Asher
I wish I would die. I've thought those words many times. But it's a hard thing to say out loud. It's even scarier to feel you might mean it. -- Jay Asher
Looking back, i stopped writting in my notebook when i stopped wanting to know myself anymore -- Jay Asher
And in high school, people are always watching so there's always a reason to pose. -- Jay Asher
I left. When I should have stayed. -- Jay Asher
The road to publication is like a churro - long and bumpy, but sweet. -- Jay Asher
Why does it say she has three hundred and twenty friends?" Josh asks. "Who has that many friends? -- Jay Asher
When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life. Everything -- Jay Asher
Her words, they're not warm anymore. She might want me to hear them that way, but they're burning me up instead. In my mind. In my heart -- Jay Asher
But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head. -- Jay Asher
Now, the truth is the one you won't forget. -- Jay Asher
The name sounds almost too perfect. And as I said, you look perfect, too. The only thing left ... is to be perfect. -- Jay Asher
30 minutes is a long time to wait for a Valentine's date. -- Jay Asher
And after I dropped him off, I took the longest possible route home ... I explored alleys and hidden roads I never knew existed. I discovered neighborhoods entirely new to me. And finally ... I discovered I was sick of this town and everything in it. -- Jay Asher
But I need to wake up somehow. Or maybe not. Maybe it's best to get through the day half-asleep. Maybe that's the only way to get through today. -- Jay Asher
They wanted to teach us the meaning of x in relation to pi, as opposed to helping us better understand ourselves and each other. They wanted us to know when the Magna Carta was signed-never mind what it was-as opposed to discussing birth control. -- Jay Asher
Teens in the '90s had the same basic desires as they do now. -- Jay Asher
Let someone take away any sense of privacy or security you might still possess. Then have someone use that insecurity to satisfy their own twisted curiosity. -- Jay Asher
You don't need to watch out for me, Clay."
But I did, Hannah. And I wanted to. I could have helped you. But when I tried, you pushed me away.
I can almost hear Hannah's voice speaking my nest thought for me. "Then why didn't you try harder? -- Jay Asher
I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday," he says, "but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them. -- Jay Asher
Whenever I'm out late she makes a sandwich for my school lunch. I always protest and tell her not to, saying I'll make my own when I get home. But she likes it. She says it reminds her of when I was younger and needed her. -- Jay Asher
When the right moment appears, the key is to not let it pass. -- Jay Asher
I decided to find out how people at school might react if one of the students never came back. -- Jay Asher
A flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope. -- Jay Asher
As a writer, my only responsibility is to tell a compelling story. -- Jay Asher
Rejection always hurt, but having it come from my best friend was worst -- Jay Asher
Maybe it didn't seem like a big deal to you Zach. But now, I hope you understand. My world was collapsing. I needed those notes. I needed any hope those notes might have offered. And you? You took that hope away. You decided I didn't deserve to have it. -- Jay Asher
How in the world was I alone? Because I wanted to be. That's all I can say. It's all that makes sense to me. -- Jay Asher
Everything . . . affects everything. The -- Jay Asher
You can hear rumors. But you can't know them. -- Jay Asher
Sometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. Thoughts that aren't even true - that aren't really how we feel - but they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about. -- Jay Asher
Here, Courtney, is your contribution to the anthology of my life.
Did you like that? The anthology of my life?
I just made it up. -- Jay Asher
My heart and my trust were in the process of collapsing. And that collapse created a vacuum in my chest. -- Jay Asher
And when you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with just that part. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life. -- Jay Asher
The kisses felt like first kisses. Kisses that said I could start over if I wanted to. With him. -- Jay Asher
Two steps behind her, I say her name. "Skye. -- Jay Asher
Betrayal. It's one of the worst feelings. -- Jay Asher
The Golden Rule will always be good advice! -- Jay Asher
I needed a break... from myself. -- Jay Asher
We all know the sound a camera makes when it snaps a picture. Even some of the digitals do it for nostalgia's sake. -- Jay Asher
And what if in the future we're at war again, or we still haven't elected a non-white or non-male president, or the Rolling Stones are still dragging their tired old butts on stage? That would depress me way too much. -- Jay Asher
Things get better, or worse, depending on your point of view. -- Jay Asher
A week went by and nothing. But eventually, as they always will, the rumors reached me. And everyone knows you can't disprove a rumor. -- Jay Asher
The wonderful thing about a yearbook photo is that everyone shares the moment with you . . . forever. -- Jay Asher
My breathing begins to slow. The tension in my muscles starts to relax.
Then, a click in the headphones. A slow breath of air.
I open my eyes to bright moonlight.
And Hannah, with warmth.
Thank you. -- Jay Asher
I take a slow sip of lukewarm coffee, reopen the book, and read the words scribbled in red ink near the top: Everyone needs an olly-olly-oxen-free. -- Jay Asher
Because if I hadn't been so afraid of everyone else, I might have told Hannah that someone cared. And Hannah might still be alive. -- Jay Asher
Maybe if I forgot things once in a while, we'd all be a little bit happier. -- Jay Asher
She smiles and hugs him goodbye, her hand lingering on the small of his back. They are definitely going to have sex. -- Jay Asher
It may seem that every time someone offers you a hand up, they just let go and you slip further down. -- Jay Asher
This was not a spurr-of-the-moment decision. Do not take me for granted ... again. -- Jay Asher
See, I'm not a very good musician. -- Jay Asher
One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. -- Jay Asher
It seemed like you could know me. Like you could understand anything I told you. And the more we spoke, I knew why. The same things excited us. The same things concerned us. -- Jay Asher
In the end....everything matters. -- Jay Asher
He's doing sit-ups in his tighy-whities! His chest looks toned, but ... tighty-whities? -- Jay Asher
Fun drunks make a nice addition to any party. Not looking to fight. Not looking to score. Just looking to get drunk and laugh. -- Jay Asher
Nothing. It's ridiculous," he says. "I don't belong on those tapes. Hannah just wanted an excuse to kill herself." I -- Jay Asher
Maybe you didn't know what people thought of you because they themselves didn't know what they thought of you. Maybe you didn't give us enough to go on, Hannah. -- Jay Asher
And I kept thinking, over and over, is this what it feels like to go insane? -- Jay Asher
As she does, she turns her hand over, lacing her fingers into mine. For as many nerve endings as I thought I had in my hand, I now realize there are a hundred times more. -- Jay Asher
But they were wrong. There was a reason. -- Jay Asher
History's a bitch when you're in the middle of it. -- Jay Asher
No!
I scream through the bars. Over the trees."No!"
Do not let her leave.
Do not let her leave that room!
He's not coming. -- Jay Asher
Expose yourself," they said. "Let us see your deepest and your darkest."
My deepest and my darkest? What are you, my gynecologist? -- Jay Asher
And i walked for hours the mist growing thick and whole the thought of disappaering like that, so simply, made me so happy -- Jay Asher
That girl had two chances. And both of us let her down. -- Jay Asher
I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed. -- Jay Asher
Rejection always hurts, but having it come from my best friend was the worst. -- Jay Asher
Take away
this mask of flesh and bone
see me
for my soul
alone -- Jay Asher
I waited a second. Should I?
No... but I will. -- Jay Asher
I can't. You can't rewrite the past. -- Jay Asher
He's always looking out windows,
contemplating something. -- Jay Asher
And concentrating on the spot where the two spindles should be is the closest I get to looking Hannah's eyes as she tells my story. -- Jay Asher
That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible. -- Jay Asher
But whatever the reason, it felt surreal -- Jay Asher
What the hell happened to Pluto?! -- Jay Asher
Maybe it's not as important to you as it was for me, but that's not for you to decide. -- Jay Asher
Olly-olly-oxen-free -- Jay Asher
With her fingers running back up my arms, and all this sperm talk, things are getting a little too intense down below. I lean slightly forward, conveniently placing my forearms across my lap. -- Jay Asher
They were like two magnets who couldn't decide whether to attract or repel. -- Jay Asher
I miss video games where the jump-kick was the trickiest combo to master. -- Jay Asher
How many times had I let myself connect with someone only to have it thrown back in my face? -- Jay Asher
A lot of you cared, just not enough. And that ... that is what I needed to find out. -- Jay Asher
She wants to believe my excuses so bad. Every time I lie, she wants to believe me so much. -- Jay Asher
That is all that happened. Why did you hear something else? -- Jay Asher
I walked out of that office with my survey still in the box, unsure of what I was. An optimist? A pessimist? Neither. A fool. I -- Jay Asher
I don't know exactly what it is, but it looks like interconnected websites where people show their photos and write about everything going on in their lives, like whether they found a parking spot or what they ate for breakfast."
"But why?" Josh asks. -- Jay Asher
At the time, I just thought it might be fun. At the time, I was stupid. -- Jay Asher
Hannah wasn't my first kiss, but the first kiss that mattered: the first kiss with someone who mattered. -- Jay Asher
Did the poet use red to symbolize blood? Anger? Lust? Or is the wheelbarrow simply red because red sounded better than black? -- Jay Asher
The signs were all there, all over, for anyone willing to notice. -- Jay Asher
This time, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it. -- Jay Asher
When you write a book for publication, you're writing it for other people to read. -- Jay Asher
Right then, in that office, with the realization that no one knew the truth about my life, my thoughts about the world were shaken. Like -- Jay Asher
There are also the people too bizarre to ignore, like Kyle Simpson. Future male stripper. -- Jay Asher