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There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think. -- Karl Pilkington
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage. -- Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that. -- Karl Pilkington
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. -- Karl Pilkington
It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob. -- Karl Pilkington
I sometimes wear headphones even though I'm not listening to anything just so I'm left alone. It's the next best thing to wearing a 'Do Not Disturb' sign. -- Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat. -- Karl Pilkington
Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone. -- Karl Pilkington
My mam told me not to tell many people about not being christened, as she said I would be a prime target for witches. To this day I don't know what she meant by that. -- Karl Pilkington
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.' -- Karl Pilkington
They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle ... get it locked up. -- Karl Pilkington
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything. -- Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. -- Karl Pilkington
I had a coconut on the way, which was another first for me. A drink and food all in one. It didn't look like the normal coconuts you win at fairgrounds. There was no hair on it. I don't know if that's how they grow here or if it's that Brazilians hate hair on anything and they've waxed them. -- Karl Pilkington
I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually. -- Karl Pilkington
One of my wisdom teeth is playing up. My dentist said it is known to happen with some people when they're stressed. My teeth seem to know I'm stressed before I do. Maybe that's why they're called wisdom teeth. -- Karl Pilkington
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that. -- Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing -- Karl Pilkington
I've never been touched by such an old man. -- Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a relationship or a toaster that's broken, they just replace it. You're bound to fall out and have arguments and you should work at getting the relationship back together, but nobody wants to any more. -- Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back. -- Karl Pilkington
Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says. -- Karl Pilkington
A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised. -- Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it. -- Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for. -- Karl Pilkington
If Dracula can't see his reflection, how come his parting's always neat? -- Karl Pilkington
At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is. -- Karl Pilkington
I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. -- Karl Pilkington
They're limited edition,' she said. 'Listen,' I said 'they're not limited enough. These shouldn't have been made at all. -- Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. -- Karl Pilkington
I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed. -- Karl Pilkington
Luke mentioned that a lot of people go to the Kumbh Mela festival to 'find themselves'. That's a saying I've never understood. If I did want to find myself, I don't think I'd find me at a festival with 20 million other people. I hate crowds. The -- Karl Pilkington
There's a lot of idiots in the world, so live with it. -- Karl Pilkington
Avocados, it's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts. -- Karl Pilkington
I was still using my eyes even though I had them shut -- Karl Pilkington
With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one. -- Karl Pilkington
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see. -- Karl Pilkington
If you're not happy looking a knob in the face, there's something wrong. -- Karl Pilkington
Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area. -- Karl Pilkington
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. -- Karl Pilkington
We should all love animals. -- Karl Pilkington
I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous. -- Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff. -- Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder? -- Karl Pilkington
You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad -- Karl Pilkington
For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see. -- Karl Pilkington
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th. -- Karl Pilkington
This is the problem with inventing. Virtually everything has been done already. These days most things are just the same things but tweaked. Everything is 'new and improved'. -- Karl Pilkington
Chinese people age overnight. -- Karl Pilkington
It wouldn't happen ... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey -- Karl Pilkington
From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful! -- Karl Pilkington
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. -- Karl Pilkington
Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years. -- Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? -- Karl Pilkington
Blind people can stay up longer than someone with eyes. -- Karl Pilkington
If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm useless in water. I wake up at night drowning in my own saliva. -- Karl Pilkington
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. -- Karl Pilkington
I'd heard street food was a big thing here in Mexico but I didn't think it meant the creatures that lived on the street. -- Karl Pilkington
It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me. -- Karl Pilkington
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really. -- Karl Pilkington
People who live in glass houses ... have to answer the door. -- Karl Pilkington
A problem solved is a problem caused. -- Karl Pilkington
Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be mush. -- Karl Pilkington
It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up. -- Karl Pilkington
Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face. -- Karl Pilkington
I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me. -- Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one. -- Karl Pilkington
In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock. -- Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [ ... ] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him. -- Karl Pilkington
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented. -- Karl Pilkington
Shitty nappy whizzing through the air, you don't see that in the brochures. -- Karl Pilkington
It's 2006, why are they still using the index finger? -- Karl Pilkington
If an animal is named after what it eats, how interesting is it? -- Karl Pilkington
I don't understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture. -- Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. -- Karl Pilkington
We're just a weed in the universe -- Karl Pilkington
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life. -- Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding. -- Karl Pilkington
I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice. -- Karl Pilkington
The only memory I have was how the wrestler's balls that were thrust into my face left a saltiness on my lips. At first I assumed it was from the tacos, and then I realised I'd not eaten any today. I -- Karl Pilkington
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected? -- Karl Pilkington
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't like jellyfish, they're not a fish, they're just a blob.
They don't have eyes, fins or scales like a cod.
They float about blind, stinging people in the seas,
And no one eats jellyfish with chips and mushy peas.
Get rid of 'em! -- Karl Pilkington
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that. -- Karl Pilkington
I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? -- Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door. -- Karl Pilkington
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people. -- Karl Pilkington
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone. -- Karl Pilkington
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't think I've ever felt this lost, even in Wales. -- Karl Pilkington
Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. -- Karl Pilkington
You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. -- Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money. -- Karl Pilkington
People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right? -- Karl Pilkington
I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it. -- Karl Pilkington
the bus was running late, but in truth this was no surprise. Delhi probably got its name from the word 'delay'. -- Karl Pilkington
I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. -- Karl Pilkington
It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep -- Karl Pilkington
This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story. -- Karl Pilkington
I bought an Apple iPad and it was out of date sooner than a real apple would have been. We -- Karl Pilkington
To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. -- Karl Pilkington
If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings -- Karl Pilkington
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now. -- Karl Pilkington
I saw a bee have a heart attack ... -- Karl Pilkington
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good. -- Karl Pilkington
I've got loads of nieces and nephews. -- Karl Pilkington
from the ceiling but made little difference. I sat wondering if it was part of Brazilian tradition to invite someone to stay but then fuck off out for the evening. Seems a bit odd to me. I -- Karl Pilkington
If Camels are the ship of the dessert, this one is the Titanic -- Karl Pilkington
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. -- Karl Pilkington
It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed. -- Karl Pilkington
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot. -- Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. -- Karl Pilkington
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on? -- Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be", then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, "I shouldn't be here!" -- Karl Pilkington
So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine? -- Karl Pilkington
The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much. -- Karl Pilkington
The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then. -- Karl Pilkington
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years. -- Karl Pilkington
You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge. -- Karl Pilkington
Kids are like farts in that way. They never seem to bother the owner as much as they bother everyone else. -- Karl Pilkington
It's easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you've got nowt to lose. -- Karl Pilkington
To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it? -- Karl Pilkington
We all just want to sit on our ass. -- Karl Pilkington
All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. -- Karl Pilkington
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle. -- Karl Pilkington
I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too. -- Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos ... but we never saw his wife. -- Karl Pilkington
I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. -- Karl Pilkington
I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. -- Karl Pilkington
Honestly, all the trouble Noah went to saving the animals two by two and now we're making handbags out of them. I -- Karl Pilkington
Treat the world like a head. -- Karl Pilkington
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things. -- Karl Pilkington
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax. -- Karl Pilkington
I've never worried about life's big questions. -- Karl Pilkington
I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great. -- Karl Pilkington
Had a wee in the Amazon. Until Richard told me I should be careful because there are some tiny fish that can swim up from the water through my urine and into my knob! Is that how amazing the Amazon is? The fish in there would really rather live in my knob than the river. -- Karl Pilkington
Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot ... -- Karl Pilkington
A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it ... they might as well say "shite gateau -- Karl Pilkington
Stop looking at the walls, look out the window. -- Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. -- Karl Pilkington
By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it. -- Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It is a lonely insect. -- Karl Pilkington
If you're worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I'd say your life's pretty good -- Karl Pilkington
That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you? -- Karl Pilkington
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? -- Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there. -- Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate? -- Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan. -- Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying ... -- Karl Pilkington
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads? -- Karl Pilkington
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! -- Karl Pilkington
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it. -- Karl Pilkington
You never see an old man eating a Twix -- Karl Pilkington
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep ... -- Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in ... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. -- Karl Pilkington
I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book -- Karl Pilkington
At what point is a wasp ever going to have a chat with a spider? -- Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave. -- Karl Pilkington
I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin. -- Karl Pilkington
You don't get anything done by planning -- Karl Pilkington
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun -- Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it. -- Karl Pilkington
Before we left, Seija asked if I felt any cosmic powers. I wanted to say yes, but I hadn't, so I decided to be honest with her. She seemed disappointed by this news. -- Karl Pilkington
A dog has got human eyes. -- Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out. -- Karl Pilkington
That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere. -- Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is annoying -- Karl Pilkington
Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out. -- Karl Pilkington
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top. -- Karl Pilkington
I could eat a knob at night. -- Karl Pilkington
They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science. -- Karl Pilkington
To be honest, today's runners may as well go back to being nude as them Lycra pants they wear don't really hide much, do they? It's plain to see that if Usain Bolt went back to the old ways of running in the nude he would have an advantage getting over the finish line before anyone else. It -- Karl Pilkington
I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. -- Karl Pilkington
That impresses me more, inventin' electricity. -- Karl Pilkington
We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about -- Karl Pilkington
They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? -- Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really. -- Karl Pilkington
We've had the Iron Age, the Stone Age, this is the pissin' about age. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off. -- Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit? -- Karl Pilkington
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared. -- Karl Pilkington
Every step starts with a step. -- Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage! -- Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was? -- Karl Pilkington
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever get to a point where all this is too heavy for the world to handle? -- Karl Pilkington
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest. -- Karl Pilkington
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life. -- Karl Pilkington
A life without death would be like a day without sleep. -- Karl Pilkington
Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard. -- Karl Pilkington
People say Dolphins are intelligent and that but they've never done anything that have blown me away. They say I'm a div and Dolphins are intelligent ... It just baffles me. -- Karl Pilkington
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle. -- Karl Pilkington
Your dreams should never be better than your real life -- Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die. -- Karl Pilkington
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do. -- Karl Pilkington
If you are living the dream, how do you know if you are asleep or awake? -- Karl Pilkington
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf. -- Karl Pilkington
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death. -- Karl Pilkington
The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. -- Karl Pilkington
I came up with a good idea ... see-through skin. -- Karl Pilkington
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. -- Karl Pilkington
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester. -- Karl Pilkington
There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly -- Karl Pilkington
I don't know what 'famous' is, really. -- Karl Pilkington
Could the world fall? -- Karl Pilkington
My brain's just full of passwords. -- Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect. -- Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean ... -- Karl Pilkington
There are more idiots in the world than bright ones, but it's the odd good one that makes a big difference. -- Karl Pilkington
I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference. -- Karl Pilkington
It annoys me a bit how people like squirrels but not rats. at the end of the day they're the same thing, except that squirrels have had a better upbringing. -- Karl Pilkington
Well ... like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again ... -- Karl Pilkington
There's fish in here that I've read about that are so see-through that they're invisible. So I don't even think they know they exist. -- Karl Pilkington
If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error. -- Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.' -- Karl Pilkington
If you can't do it, don't do it. -- Karl Pilkington
I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it. -- Karl Pilkington
With acting, I didn't get much from it. -- Karl Pilkington