Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Louise Rennison, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Louise Rennison quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 140 Louise Rennison quotes for you to read and share.
Everyone is so obsessed with themselves nowadays that they have no time for me. -- Louise Rennison
Overslept and had to race to get a life to Jas's with my dad. No time for yoga or makeup. Oh well, I'll start tomorrow. God alone knows how the Dalai Lama copes on a daily basis. He must get up at dawn. Actually, I read somewhere that he does get up at dawn. -- Louise Rennison
I am going to keep my mind (well, what's left of it) occupied by doing (and I never thought the day would come when I would say this) my homework. -- Louise Rennison
It's hard to tell the truth sometimes, especially if you don't want to hurt someone. And you did. You said what you feel. And you must do what is right for you, not what other people say is right. -- Louise Rennison
I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.) -- Louise Rennison
Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away. -- Louise Rennison
Campingfahrt means not, as you might imagine, an unfortunate incident with Libby in a tent ... . It means "camping trip." I think I have a natural talent for languages. -- Louise Rennison
So, in conclusion, that is the moral of Heidi. 'Always push invalid chairs off the top of mountains when you get the opportunity.' The end. Excellent advice. -- Louise Rennison
I always want to tell him everything. But
instead I said, "What's your advice, Horn -
meister?"
And he started doing pretend beard stroking
and said, "Well, luuurve is a many trousered
thing ... -- Louise Rennison
The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling.
...
Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again.
Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie. -- Louise Rennison
He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine. -- Louise Rennison
Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the circus. -- Louise Rennison
Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy; then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way. -- Louise Rennison
I'm not a ice cream, i'm a human being -- Louise Rennison
Heathcliff. The "hero" of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why.
He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you. -- Louise Rennison
I am not an ice cream come! I am a human being! -- Louise Rennison
My cousin Georgia says that boys are like gazelles. She says the get alarmed when they get close to girls. And they have to leap off into the woods like gazelles in trousers. Or have I just made that up? -- Louise Rennison
Apparently if you want to get a boy to like you, you go sort of mysterious and icy and cool. That's what my cousin said and she has loads of boyfriends and snogging-type experiences. -- Louise Rennison
Who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs?"
I said, "Come on then, they are down here."
He said, "Tallulah, the answer to who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs is ... me!!!! -- Louise Rennison
Does it matter that the sausages are local? I'm just going to eat them, not make friends and go to the cinema with them. -- Louise Rennison
I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them. -- Louise Rennison
I don't think their mummy and daddy told them they were little sunbeams for Jesus. -- Louise Rennison
Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, 'Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin? -- Louise Rennison
As we passed a bloke playing a saxophone underneath one of the arches, he put down the sax and started doing a juggling thing with his hands. It was a bit peculiar, though, because, as I said to Jas, He hasn't got any balls. -- Louise Rennison
At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here."
Then she lay down on the floor. -- Louise Rennison
Oh Blimey O'Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on.
What light doth through yonder window break?
It's the bloody moon, for God's sake, Will, get a grip!! -- Louise Rennison
Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire? -- Louise Rennison
What shall I say? I must tread a fine line between glaciosity and friendlinosity. With just a hint of 'you don't know what you are missing, my fine-feathered friend. -- Louise Rennison
I can't believe the poo-osity of my life! -- Louise Rennison
However, I will never feel anything again.
Good.
I am done with love.
It's a mug's game.
I am just going to sit in my room for the rest of my life not doing stuff. -- Louise Rennison
Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, Blimey, and also, what larks. -- Louise Rennison
P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs.
P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way. -- Louise Rennison
I suppose this is what life will be like for me - never having a boyfriend, always just living through others -- Louise Rennison
I wonder if it is possible to have two boyfriends. I mean, times are changing. Relationships are more complicated. In France men always have mistresses and wives and so on. Henri probably has two girlfriends. He would laugh if you told him you just had one. He would say, 'C'est tres, tres tragique.' -- Louise Rennison
And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling. -- Louise Rennison
But I can be a very kind and caring person, especially if I am about three thousand miles away in a different country. -- Louise Rennison
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger. -- Louise Rennison
And a secret inward voice in my head was saying (in a strange breathy voice ... ) Yes, yessss, I will pop round to The Blind Pig. I will 'pop' round because guess who lives at the Blind Pig? It is not a blind pig, it is Alex. -- Louise Rennison
I'm a real Luddite. -- Louise Rennison
How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea? -- Louise Rennison
When Mutti and Vati came in I didn't speak to them. I just unfurled the CAT MOLESTERS banner I had made. -- Louise Rennison
Still, life carries on. Exams to be examined. Serious things to be thingied. -- Louise Rennison
Through my curtains I can see a big yellow moon. I'm thinking of all the people in the world who will be looking at that same moon.
I wonder how many of them haven't got any eyebrows? -- Louise Rennison
As I have said with huge wisdomosity many times, boys the world over are a bloody mystery. -- Louise Rennison
I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it. -- Louise Rennison
I've said it once and I will say it again, why can't everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go - why can't
other nations? -- Louise Rennison
She who laughs last laughs the laughingest. -- Louise Rennison
Watching TV Mum said, 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who? -- Louise Rennison
Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers. -- Louise Rennison
I could have stayed holding on to Masimo and riding round forever, round and round, like that bloke on that doomed phantom boat, The Flying Dutchman. Of course there are differences - he was not on a scooter, and I don't have a beard and I am not Dutch. -- Louise Rennison
Biology
The film turns out to be about bees. It is a film about a bee center. How crap is this going to be?
An hour later
That was the best thing I have seen for ages. We made Miss Wilson rewind the bit where the two queens were having a bitch fight. -- Louise Rennison
Mum said, "It is the thought that counts."
And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way. -- Louise Rennison
What is that song they are singing Is it an old Yorkshire ditty you know like that 'On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at' "
Ruby said "Nah it's a football song. It goes 'We hate Chelsea we hate Chelsea we are the Chelsea haters. -- Louise Rennison
Some things in life are not pleasant but they have to be done. For instance, German and maths. -- Louise Rennison
Look, I can't go out with you, because ... because ... because I'm a lesbian. -- Louise Rennison
I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES??? -- Louise Rennison
I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?"
Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'"
I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset. -- Louise Rennison
In the end they worked out that Angus must have sneaked into Naomi's love parlor before his trouser snake addendums were, you know ... adjusted. Super-Cat!!! He is without doubt the 007 of the cat world. -- Louise Rennison
When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!'
Christ what an image. -- Louise Rennison
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her. -- Louise Rennison
What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about? -- Louise Rennison
Do you miss your dad?" And I said: "Who? -- Louise Rennison
He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head. -- Louise Rennison
I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate. -- Louise Rennison
Or if I truly gave up I could be like Wet Lindsay. When Robbie dumped her she got all pale and even wetter than normal. She was like an anoraksick. (A person who is both very thin and wears tragic anoraks.) I just made that up as a joke. Even though I am very upset I can still think of a joke. -- Louise Rennison
Don't jab each other with courgettes, boys. -- Louise Rennison
I don't want to be rude to the afflicted but Uncle Eddie is bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen. -- Louise Rennison
He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You. -- Louise Rennison
As she left my room I knew I should shut up. But you know when you should shut up because you really should just shut up ... but you keep on and on anyway? Well, I had that. -- Louise Rennison
Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes! -- Louise Rennison
What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them. -- Louise Rennison
This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel? -- Louise Rennison
Look, girls and boys are different. Girls like to be touched twenty times a day in a nonsexual way to feel good about themselves - that is why I tickle you and link arms with you - but boys think about sex, snogging and football, and also snogging whilst playing football. Simple. -- Louise Rennison
Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!'
'I don't know, a bowl?'
'Non ... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants! -- Louise Rennison
Oh dear. I have just seen Angus hunkering down in the long grass. He's stalking their poodle. I'll have to intervene to avert a massacre. Oh, it's OK, Mrs. Next Door has thrown a brick at him. -- Louise Rennison
I put my arm around her and said, Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me. -- Louise Rennison
Out on the moors,
The lonely moors,
I roll around in sheep poo.
Heathcliff, it's youuuuu,
I hate you, I love you tooooo.
Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee,
Catheeeeeeee.
Look out of your windooooow. -- Louise Rennison
Unbelievable! I said, What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties? -- Louise Rennison
Tom is back on a flight at 6:15 P.M. That is 6:15. Do you get it? Not 6:00 P.M. but 6:15 P.M. And do you know how many minutes that is? I do. I have also become a Time Lord. -- Louise Rennison
If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me! -- Louise Rennison
I am abandoned on the ship of life." "I know." "Jas, you are not really cheering me up." "Well, I know and that is because there is really nothing to be cheerful about; I would hate to be you." in -- Louise Rennison
Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on -- Louise Rennison
Still, a really heavy period should cheer me up. -- Louise Rennison
Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it. -- Louise Rennison
This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'. -- Louise Rennison
He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty. -- Louise Rennison
I said with great dignosity, Father, I am afraid I can't discuss my private life with you as I have a date with Lord of the Flies. -- Louise Rennison
You wouldn't say ' You've got the crappest eyes I've ever seen. Your eyes make me physically sick. -- Louise Rennison
Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them. -- Louise Rennison
I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers. -- Louise Rennison
Angus is amusing himself by ambushing the postman. Och aye, they may have taken his trouser snake addendums, but they cannae tak his freedom!! -- Louise Rennison
Lord of the Flies is so boring ... and so weird. I always thought boys were very very strange, but I didn't think they would start eating each other. -- Louise Rennison
Who knows what goes on in my mind? I will be the last to know. Even -- Louise Rennison
Better start planning my wardrobe for the Luuurve trail. What do the Hamburgese wear?
Cowboy hats, I suppose. -- Louise Rennison
I am going to become a writer for Cosmo - you don't have to make any sense at all. Or maybe I'll be a bloke, they don't have to make sense either. -- Louise Rennison
Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him. -- Louise Rennison
He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit."
Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland. -- Louise Rennison
When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior. -- Louise Rennison
poo parlor division" instead of "loo. -- Louise Rennison
You STUPID stupid girl. Honestly, you have done some stupid stupid things in your time, but this takes the biscuit of stupidity. -- Louise Rennison
You're fourteen years old. You've only had that hair for fourteen years and you want to change it already! How bored are you going to be with it by the time you are thirty? What color will you be up to by then? -- Louise Rennison
I think 'growing up' would mean that you are incredibly tolerant and easygoing, liked everything, curious about the world because you weren't so egotistically driven. -- Louise Rennison
Twenty minutes later, waiting for our luggage
I haven't seen anyone who hasn't got a moustache yet.
And frankly that is not attractive in a woman. -- Louise Rennison
I said to Mum, Vati is very very like David Beckham, isn't he? Apart from being porky, heavily bearded and crap at football. -- Louise Rennison
There he is, tall, tanned, Italian, sophisticated. So what do you do?"
I said, "Er, leap on him and snog him within an inch of his life? Taking care not to strangle myself on his false beard, or disturb his banana. -- Louise Rennison
Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away? -- Louise Rennison
Shut up Jas, you are not Baby Jesus -- Louise Rennison
I gave my artistic laugh and also threw in some quirky language for good measure. "Lawks-a-mercy, no! I'm going to have a long bath and ... "
I looked shyly down. Which is pretty impressive to have done artistic laugh, quirky language and shyness all in the space of ten seconds. -- Louise Rennison
What in the name of Buddha's bra is he going on about now? -- Louise Rennison
And that's when it fell off in my hand -- Louise Rennison
You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?'
'Look, shut up, people might hear.'
'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone? -- Louise Rennison
So this is what men are like. Well, that's it, then - I am going to be a lesbian. -- Louise Rennison
I care too much for people. I am a bit like Jesus. Only not so heavily bearded. -- Louise Rennison
I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you. -- Louise Rennison
Jackie wears even more makeup than those scary circus people. You know, when you go to the circus and you accidentally see a trapeze artist close-up and they are orange. -- Louise Rennison
Rosie laughed in a not too reassuring way if you like sane laughter. -- Louise Rennison
All boys are swines. They snog you and dump you. Or lick your face. Or put bats in your mouth. -- Louise Rennison
I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe! -- Louise Rennison
I am so depressed and bored I may even have to do some homework. -- Louise Rennison
Vaisey said, "Is it because your parents don't understand you?"
Charlie said, "No, it's because our parents understand us very well, and that is why they wanted us to go away. -- Louise Rennison
He who laughs last laughs the laughiest. -- Louise Rennison
It was like being in an exciting movie, except I didn't know whether it was a romance or a comedy. -- Louise Rennison
Vaisey looked like a startled earwig. -- Louise Rennison
The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons. -- Louise Rennison
I am a pop widow. -- Louise Rennison
What do you do with Sex Gods? Besides snog and worship them, I mean. -- Louise Rennison
I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet - Georgia Nicolson -- Louise Rennison
Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind. -- Louise Rennison
You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets! -- Louise Rennison
Anyway, then it said on the news, 'And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten.'
I looked down at Jas and said, 'Ooer.' Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons.
Vati just looked at us like we were mad. -- Louise Rennison
Dave said, "Tarts' wardrobe?" "Loos." Dave said with sort of admirationosity in his voice, "Outstanding" midnight -- Louise Rennison
As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard. -- Louise Rennison
I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord. -- Louise Rennison
Everyone is so bloody keen on me thinking all of a sudden. It's not what I do. -- Louise Rennison
I know there is an unseen power at work of which we have little comprehension, but I don't really feel I can consult with Jesus about my basoomas. -- Louise Rennison
Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart. -- Louise Rennison
Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away. -- Louise Rennison
Dad leapt over the garden wall instead of going through the gate. Sadly he didn't do himself a severe injury, and so he lives to embarrass me to death another day. -- Louise Rennison
I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already. -- Louise Rennison
How do you make yourself not like someone? -- Louise Rennison