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Nope,' Jamie said without hesitation, which is how I knew he was lying. But I understood why. Sometimes lies are easier to believe. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was going to kiss him, and I was going to regret it. But at that moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. -- Michelle Hodkin
Words have power. And I may be privileged and have a higher IQ than any of our former teachers, but when people look at me? They see a black, male teenager. And there is nothing quite as frightening to some folks as an angry young black man. -- Michelle Hodkin
You think it can't get worse than wanting someone and not having them, but it can. You can want someone, have them, and want them more. Still. Always. You can never get enough. -- Michelle Hodkin
Have you made any other friends since we've been here?"
I gave him the death stare. "Yes, actually."
"Who? I want a name."
"Jamie Roth."
"The Ebola kid? I heard he's a little unstable."
"That was one incident. -- Michelle Hodkin
I tilted my head up and asked, "What would you do if I kissed you right now?"
He pretended to think about it for an obnoxious amount of time before saying, "I would kiss you back. -- Michelle Hodkin
One little joke involving hemorrhagic fever and they brand you 'unstable -- Michelle Hodkin
Grounded likely means no phone or computer," Jamie said. "But if I encounter an owl, I'll try to smuggle a message to the outside, okay? -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah started this chase and I stood before him, waiting to be caught. He could have me, but he refused to move.
Only now did I realize why.
He wanted to be caught. He was waiting for me to chase him. -- Michelle Hodkin
You can't hurt me the way you think you can. But even if you could? I would rather die with the taste of you on my tongue than live and never touch you again. I'm in love with you, Mara. I love you. No matter what you do. -- Michelle Hodkin
She was constantly surprising, infinitely complex. Unknowable. Unpredictable. I have never met anyone more fascinating in my life, and all the time in the world wouldn't be enough to ever know her. -- Michelle Hodkin
Mara is the one I never knew I was waiting for, and as long as she'll have me, I will never let her go. -- Michelle Hodkin
My heart beats her name -- Michelle Hodkin
We will do this while we can, and when we can't anymore, I will remember the feel of your mouth on me and the taste of your tongue and the weight of your hands on mine, and I will be happy." I whisper against her skin, "If you choose me. -- Michelle Hodkin
There is no truth," Stephanie said mysterously. "Only perspectives. -- Michelle Hodkin
Gather my leaves,
Twist them into crowns
Let me be the king of your forest
Climb on my branches,
I will seek out your hide
s you sleep beneath the shade
Of my giving tree -- Michelle Hodkin
I think part of him actually wants to be hated. He only ever shows you what he wants you to see. He's so closed off-it made me feel like he'd never tell. -- Michelle Hodkin
She's a rock I want to break myself against. -- Michelle Hodkin
This is what I knew: I was trapped in my body, in that bed, at that moment. But even as I looked out through the windows of my eyes, through the bars of my prison, I knew I wouldn't be trapped forever. -- Michelle Hodkin
I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, "Are you going
to point, or are you going to eat?"
"I just like to know what I'm putting in my mouth before I swallow."
Noah arched an eyebrow, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. -- Michelle Hodkin
She said you were an awesome lay, I said, feigning interest in the gush of water that spilled out from the gutter by the lockers. My face would betray me if he saw it.
Well, that's true, Noah said. -- Michelle Hodkin
You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled.
"Really?"
"Mmm-hmm. Delicious. Like bacon. -- Michelle Hodkin
When I don't see her, her ghost wanders in my veins. -- Michelle Hodkin
I twisted my arm to curl him behind me and he unfolded there, the two of us snuggled like quotation marks in his room full of words. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm just glad you didn't get you greedy little claws on the OTHER sketchbook. THAT would have been embarrassing. -- Michelle Hodkin
Why do you always look like you just rolled out of bed?'
'Because usually I have.' And the way he raised his eye-brow at me made me blush.
'Classy,' I said. -- Michelle Hodkin
It doesn't bother me," I said. "If you don't mind looking forty years old at twenty, smelling like an ashtray, and getting lung cancer, why should I? -- Michelle Hodkin
If I explained everything maybe he would understand. I needed to be understood. -- Michelle Hodkin
Sometimes I did things I didn't want to do,or said things I didn't want to say. Sometimes I felt like crying for no reason, or snapped at people I cared about for less. I'd been so worried for so long that I was losing my mind, but now it felt like I was losing my body. I felt like a stranger. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm afraid of losing myself. The idea was a splinter in my mind. Always there, always stinging, even when I wasn't conscious of it. Even when I wasn't thinking about it. -- Michelle Hodkin
Pride goes before the fall. -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah fit his hands to the curve of my waist. "Tell me," he said.
He looked inhumanly beautiful under the lights. It almost hurt to look at him, but it would have hurt more to look away. -- Michelle Hodkin
Your life will not always be a happy one, but it will always have meaning. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was just going to say it reminds me of the symbols on a family crest."
Noah stopped mid-stride, and turned very slowly. "We're not related."
"I know, but - "
"Don't even think it. -- Michelle Hodkin
Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger. -- Michelle Hodkin
Put a petty criminal in maximum security prison and he'll come out knowing how to rape and pillage. -- Michelle Hodkin
You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself. -- Michelle Hodkin
I didn't know enough to hold myself back. Now I was too aware, hyperaware, and so the fear chained me. -- Michelle Hodkin
I politely suggested she drive off a cliff. -- Michelle Hodkin
I punched him nos so lightly in the arm. 'Asshole.'
He was silent for a few minutes, and then he smacked my arm.
'OW!'
'You had a mosquito.'
'No, I didn't. -- Michelle Hodkin
What the hell were you doing with five thousand dollars on you?"
"Eight, actually. I had grand plans for today. Hookers and blow aren't cheap, but I suppose animal sacrifice will have to do. Happy birthday. -- Michelle Hodkin
The colors shone, burned through. Sienna and crimson and gold, and I swallowed my name from his mouth and he kissed his from my lips, and I was incandescent as I tripped into- bliss. -- Michelle Hodkin
Before I could say anything, Jamie began writing giant letters over the words with his index finger.
F-U-C-K Y-O-U.
My sentiments exactly. -- Michelle Hodkin
Also, I kissed her. She liked it.
Naturally. -- Michelle Hodkin
You always have a choice. -- Michelle Hodkin
Her graphite pencil scratches the thick paper and it is the soundtrack to my bliss. That, and her sound - dissonant, aching. Her breath and heartbeat and pulse are my new favorite symphony; I'm beginning to learn which notes will play when, and to interpret them. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'd wasted so much time wishing I could be different, wishing I could change things, change myself ... I thought it would be easier to be someone else than to be who I was becoming, but I didn't think that anymore -- Michelle Hodkin
Don't. Don't ask me why. It's annoying. I want to. That's it. That's all. So let me. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm not making you hate me. I'm making you love me. -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah recited his next title. The New Adventures of Curious -- Michelle Hodkin
If I were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one of them. -- Michelle Hodkin
Why is it that whenever anyone says something offensive, they always add 'no offense' after it? -- Michelle Hodkin
You will love him to ruins. -- Michelle Hodkin
I want YOU to be the one wanting me first. Pushing me first. Kissing me first. Don't be careful with me," he said. "Because I won't be careful with you. -- Michelle Hodkin
And I would never give up. I've done terrible things I regret and terrible things I don't. But I don't need to be fixed. I don't need to be saved. I just have to keep going. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was changing into my shirt (and matching boxers! Wasn't I lucky?) in the tourist shop bathroom when a voice said, "You look retarded." I looked up at the mirror. My reflection looked ridiculous. "Yeah. Well. You don't look so hot yourself," I said back. -- Michelle Hodkin
Stella turned to us. "One of us is going to have to swim it. Any volunteers?"
Jamie shook his head. "Not it. Sharks, first of all, and second of all, sharks"
- The Retribution of Mara Dyer -- Michelle Hodkin
If we had learned anything concrete by now, we had learned this: we weren't alone. There are other like us out there. People that think they're just strange or different or troubled or depressed or sick, They might just be. But they might also be something more. They could become one of us. -- Michelle Hodkin
Thinking something does not make it true. Wanting something does not make it real. -- Michelle Hodkin
I feel something, I do it. I want something, I take it. -- Michelle Hodkin
Everyone's a little crazy. Some people just hide it better than others. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'll love you to ruins. -- Michelle Hodkin
You don't get what you do for him. You're like his manic pixie dream girl or something." Jamie thought for a second. "Actually, more like his psychotic demon nightmare thing, but whatever. You get my point. -- Michelle Hodkin
I planted a kamikaze kiss on Jamie's cheek.
"FUCK," he shouted, wiping it off. "What if you killed me!" He threw a Skittle at my face. It hit my forehead.
"Ow!"
"Taste the rainbow bitch. -- Michelle Hodkin
You like them," I realized.
Noah's eyebrows lifted in question.
"Like as people."
"As opposed to ... furniture?"
"They're my PARENTS."
"That is my understanding, yes. -- Michelle Hodkin
I don't have a favorite color, though I strongly dislike yellow. Horrid color.
I resolved to wear something yellow the next time I saw him. Yellow from head to toe, if I could manage it. -- Michelle Hodkin
If you fight yourself, you will lose, and fighting leaves scares. -- Michelle Hodkin
Scheide,'Noah said.
I decided to give the drink another shot. 'What does that mean?' I asked, then sipped.
'Vagina'
I almost choked, and covered my mouth with my hand. -- Michelle Hodkin
How did you get my number?" I blurted, before I could stop myself.
"It's called research." I could hear him smirking over the phone.
"Or stalking."
Noah chuckled. "You're adorable when you're bitchy."
"You're not," I said, but smiled despite myself. -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah acted like he felt nothing because he felt everything. He seemed not to care because he cared too much. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm not sure you can appreciate how much I want to lay you out before me and make you scream my name. -- Michelle Hodkin
What had happened would always be part of us, but we'd survived it. We were still here. The curtain would fall ons us eventually, but I would fight to keep it up as long as I could. For now it was just us, together, and there was nothing in our way. -- Michelle Hodkin
Rubbish. The Taj Mahal is only a hundred eighty-six square feet. This house has twenty-five thousand."
I stared at him blankly.
"I was kidding," he said.
I stared at him blankly.
"All right, I wasn't kidding. Let's go, shall we.?"
"After you, my liege. -- Michelle Hodkin
Where's Noah?" I asked with steel in my voice. My eyes searched the room, but there was nothing to find. "Why did you tell me he was dead?" Dr. Kells was reaching into a cardboard box by her feet as I spoke. "Because he is. -- Michelle Hodkin
Why would you think that?" "Perhaps because she is batshit crazy, Brooke." Jamie slow-clapped. "Jamie," Brooke said calmly. "I'm not sure that's productive." "I was applauding Mara for her extraordinary appropriate use of the term 'batshit crazy'. -- Michelle Hodkin
I would wait forever for the promise of seeing Mara, unleashed. -- Michelle Hodkin
No," I said, louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses," I said, as though reading from a dictionary of modern profanity. -- Michelle Hodkin
Go away. I'm smelly. And you bother me enormously. -- Michelle Hodkin
Do I get a gold star? -- Michelle Hodkin
Taste the Rainbow, bitch! -- Michelle Hodkin
Don't tempt me. Now, what are you wearing?"
"A hoodie and drawstring pants too, I guess.""Anything underneath?"
"I don't typically walk around without underwear."
"Typically?"
"Only on special occasions."
"Christ. I meant under your hoodie -- Michelle Hodkin
What are you smirking about, over there?"
"I'm more well-rounded than you."
"Not possible. You're American," he said. "And if it is true, it's only because you like crap. -- Michelle Hodkin
Your husband is dead because you killed him," the professor said, stunning me into silence. "You are not what Simon Shaw thought you were," he added softly. My eyes brimmed with tears. "And what was that?" "A cure." "So, what am I?" His gaze dropped. "A disease. -- Michelle Hodkin
Now you won't fall." too late. -- Michelle Hodkin
We are far too screwed up for a goddamned love triangle. -- Michelle Hodkin
The air around us was charged as we stood opposite each other. Healer and destroyer, noon and midnight. We were silently deadlocked. -- Michelle Hodkin
Why, Noah, do you know the word for vagina in every language?"
"Because I'm European, and therefore more cultured than you. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was poison, and Noah was the drug that would made me forget it. -- Michelle Hodkin
That was what I would miss the most, I realized. Just being able to tell him things. There was still so much to say. -- Michelle Hodkin
Who peed in your cheerios? -- Michelle Hodkin
She can't help what she does to you. She is your weakness, as you are hers. -- Michelle Hodkin
You could start a fire with the heat between you two."
"You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection. -- Michelle Hodkin
If I truly loved him, she said, I would let him go.
I wish I loved him enough. -- Michelle Hodkin
The people we care about are always worth more to us than the people we don't. No matter what anyone pretends. -- Michelle Hodkin
Sometimes, Noah, I feel an overwhelming urge to punch you in the face. -- Michelle Hodkin
You're supposed to say, 'All I want is your happiness. I'll do whatever it takes, even if it means being without you.'"
"Sorry," Noah said. "I'm just not that big of a person. -- Michelle Hodkin
Truer words were never spoken. -- Michelle Hodkin
What?' Noah looked at me, all innocence.
'You're not shy.'
'No?'
'No,' I said, narrowing my eyes. 'And pretending to be makes you look like a jackass.'
Noah feigned offense. 'You've wounded me to the core with your profane characterization.'
'Pass the tissues. -- Michelle Hodkin
He raised an eyebrow. That was easier than I expected. My body must have addled your good sense. -- Michelle Hodkin
I know how you love endings, so I will write one for you. -- Michelle Hodkin
I kind of want to see Mara Crucio their asses. -- Michelle Hodkin
He looked down at me, all sincere and open and with that chaos hair in his eyes and I wanted and didn't want and I had to say something. -- Michelle Hodkin
I want to shake them for their ignorance and scream that their Sistine Chapel is filled with cracks. -- Michelle Hodkin
Fuck, he murmured against my lips. The feel, the word, sent a hot little shock through my spine. It skittered through my veins, danced through every nerve. -- Michelle Hodkin
You want me as much as I want you. And all I want is you."
My tongue warred with my mind. "Today," I whispered.
Noah stood slowly, his body skimming mine as he rose. "Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. -- Michelle Hodkin
This is a love story. Twisted and messy. Flawed and screwed up. But it's ours. It's us. I don't know how our story will end. but I know it will start. I pick up my pen and begin to write:
My name is not Mara Dyer, but my lawyer told me I had to choose something. -- Michelle Hodkin
Mara : I'm too selfish to leave you
Noah Shaw : I'm too selfish to let you -- Michelle Hodkin
What would you do if I kissed you right now?"
I stared at his beautiful face and his beautiful mouth and I wanted nothing more than to taste it. "I would kiss you back. -- Michelle Hodkin
There's nothing I want. There's nothing I can't do. I don't care about anything. No matter what, I am an imposter. An actor in my own life. -- Michelle Hodkin
to the bad girls and the boys who love them. -- Michelle Hodkin
If you order some servant to bring food, I'm leaving."
"I was going to make sure Albert hadn't moved the car."
"Oh, right. Albert the butler."
"He's a valet, actually."
"You are not helping yourself. -- Michelle Hodkin
And that for every negative event or coincidence that has happened since, imagining that you triggered them, that you made them happen makes you feel like you possess a degree of control that you don't have. -- Michelle Hodkin
If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one. -- Michelle Hodkin
We are responsible for everything we do and do not do. -- Michelle Hodkin
Fix me, this thing, what I've done- there's something wrong with me, Noah, fix it."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you're not broken. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm the creepy girl. In a mental hospital."
He grinned. "Nobody's perfect. -- Michelle Hodkin
This is where the privileged send their screwed-up progeny; no gluing macaroni to construction paper for us." He paused meaningfully. "They only let us CREATE with RICCIOLINI here."
"I don't even know what that is."
"It's very fancy, I assure you -- Michelle Hodkin
Boys are stupid and girls are trouble.
Truer words were never spoken. -- Michelle Hodkin
I wonder if it's possible to know someone through the words they love. -- Michelle Hodkin
I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again ... and again. -- Michelle Hodkin
An angel sat on one shoulder, a devil on the other. Both of them wore my face. -- Michelle Hodkin
There were days when I felt that a dragon slept inside me, and exhaled poison with every breath. I flirted with suicide more times than I can count. But I know now why I never did it. I was saving that day for you. -- Michelle Hodkin
The two of us snuggled like quotation marks in his room full words. -- Michelle Hodkin
Maybe sometimes we can only see the truth about ourselves if someone shows us where to look. -- Michelle Hodkin
You were planned, Noah. Engineered." Noah practically radiated frustration. "For what?"
"To be the hero," David said, looking at Noah like he was his greatest disappointment. "To slay the dragon. But you fell in love with it instead. -- Michelle Hodkin
While Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications and gasp in the throes of his overachieving OCDness. -- Michelle Hodkin
There will come a moment when there's nothing you want more than us. Together. When you're free of every fear and there is nothing in our way. -- Michelle Hodkin
The villain is the hero of her own story. -- Michelle Hodkin
The palm trees on the median swayed and bent, threatening to snap. But they wouldn't. They were strong enough to take it.
And so was I. -- Michelle Hodkin
There is no truth. Only perspectives. -- Michelle Hodkin
I looked up at the video camera and stared. Then raised my hand and gave it the middle finger.
"I thought you were going to give it the District Twelve salute," Jamie said. -- Michelle Hodkin
I wanted to lose myself and I couldn't. I'm chasing an oblivion I will never find. -- Michelle Hodkin
Someone always says, 'Kids are mean.' 'Kids will be kids.' Which implies that the kid bullies will grow out of it someday." The muscles in his jaw tightened. His stare was unfocused and far away. "I don't think they do. I think kid bullies turn into adult bullies. -- Michelle Hodkin
I explore the full boxes, mostly brimming with battered, dog-eared, highlighted books. The pages are worn, well-read, and I skim through them. I wonder if it's possible to know someone through the words they loved. -- Michelle Hodkin
So." Noah said carefully. I was sitting up cross-legged and tangled in my sheets.
"So." I said back
"Would you like to hear about Curious George's new adventures?"
I shook my head.
"Are you sure?" Noah asked. "He's been such a naughty monkey."
"Pass. -- Michelle Hodkin
Anna used to be the abstinence poster girl, but you could write a comic book about the many adventures of her vagina. It could wear a cape. -- Michelle Hodkin
There's some fuckery afoot. -- Michelle Hodkin
Anyway, there's some fuckery afoot, clearly, but I don't think you're possessed. -- Michelle Hodkin
Rape is about power, nt sex. It's about using force or the threat of it to take control over another person. -- Michelle Hodkin
I wish we could make out in your bed."
Noah sighed. "As do I, but I'm afraid we have ritual burning to conduct."
"It's always something."
"Isn't it though? -- Michelle Hodkin
I so badly needed to self-destruct. -- Michelle Hodkin
... and I so badly needed to self-destruct. -- Michelle Hodkin
Our mouths were fluent in the language of each other and we moved with one mind and shared the same breath. -- Michelle Hodkin
I knew one hundred little things about Noah Shaw but when he kissed me I couldn't remember my own name. -- Michelle Hodkin
When evil smiles at you, you smile back. -- Michelle Hodkin
Names?' the receptionist asked us.
"Jesus," Jamie answered.
"Mary," said Stella.
"Satan," I said as I walked past her and pushed open the door to Ira Ginsberg's office. -- Michelle Hodkin
This. You. Are enough. -- Michelle Hodkin
This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me. -- Michelle Hodkin
As I was saying. He could never use you. You own him. You should've seen the way he was looking at you while you were out."
I smiled a little. "How?"
"Like you're the ocean and he's desperate to drown. -- Michelle Hodkin
But Noah was like the Velveteen Rabbit. I would love his whiskers off, love him until he turned gray, until he lost shape. I would love him to death. And he would let me. Gladly. -- Michelle Hodkin
Now, get the fuck off me. Noah -- Michelle Hodkin
This changed nothing. Nothing at all. Noah Shaw was still a whore, still an asshole, and still painfully out of my league. This was my inner mantra, the one I repeated on a loop until Noah tilted his head and spoke.
"You coming in?"
Yes. Yes I was. -- Michelle Hodkin
Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but how could it when Jude kept picking the scab? -- Michelle Hodkin
But when everyone tells you you're crazy and no one believes you when you swear you aren't, a small part of you will always wonder if they're right. -- Michelle Hodkin
Now be a gentleman and open the door for me. My hands are full. -- Michelle Hodkin
I wanted to draw a raised middle finger, but I would draw a kitten instead. Normal people loved kittens. -- Michelle Hodkin
I didnt notice the small, black streak of fur hurtling in my direction untill it she was only a few feet away. Noah whisked the dog into the air just as it charged for me. "You little bitch," Noah said to the snarling dog. "Behave. -- Michelle Hodkin
You are what happiness means to me. And I would rather have today with you than forever with anyone else. -- Michelle Hodkin
They lie, you know. It's not easier to ask for forgiveness. Not even a little. -- Michelle Hodkin
Then the only way out is through, Jamie said, and Stella started the truck. -- Michelle Hodkin
You scare the filling out of her doughnut. -- Michelle Hodkin
She cannot become other than what she is. -- Michelle Hodkin
How are we supposed to get in?"
Stella kicked the metal shutter.
"Fool of a Took!" Jamie hissed through his teeth. "If someone's in there, they probably heard that. -- Michelle Hodkin
I stifled a yawn. It's too early to be such an asshat Daniel. -- Michelle Hodkin
They rattled my cage to see if I'd bite. When they released me, they'd see that the answer was yes. -- Michelle Hodkin
You will have to fight every day because there is so much injustice and horror to fight against.
But if you don't fight, you will grow lazy and discontent under the guise of wanting peace. -- Michelle Hodkin
I pointed to it.
"Yuca," Noah said.
I pointed to the dough balls.
"Fried plantains."
I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, "Are you going to point, or are you going to eat? -- Michelle Hodkin
I think Stella's a little scared of you," he said, while I changed for bed in the bathroom. "And you're not?" I called out. "Of you? You have the soul of a kitten." I popped my head out of the bathroom. "A kitten." "An assassin kitten. -- Michelle Hodkin
What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was falling apart, and all my pieces were scattering to the wind. -- Michelle Hodkin
You never know what another person stands to gain or lose by anything -- Michelle Hodkin
And just like that, I was completely, utterly, and entirely,
His. -- Michelle Hodkin
For as long as I can remember, I've had trouble with feelings. Other people get scared, nervous, or shy, excited, or happy, sad. I seem to have only two settings: blank or empty. -- Michelle Hodkin
Today, tonight, tommorrow, forever. I was made for you -- Michelle Hodkin
It is our choices that define us, not our abilities. -- Michelle Hodkin
And then you show up with the voice from my nightmare, and you call me an asshole. -- Michelle Hodkin
It doesn't matter", he murmured against my skin. His fingers traced the cuts, healing the veins beneath them. "There's only one thing that does."
"What?" I whispered.
He looked at me through his long,, dark lashes, with my hands still in his. "Killing Jude. -- Michelle Hodkin
How long do you want me? he asked.
How long can I have you? I thought. -- Michelle Hodkin
I find it hilarious that whenever I light up, Americans look at me like I'm going to urinate on their children. -- Michelle Hodkin
Yes!" He wrapped both arms around me, but when I tried to do the same he jumped away. "Watch the suit," he said, glaring. Oh, boy. -- Michelle Hodkin
I did something brave, then. Or stupid. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. -- Michelle Hodkin
It doesn't matter what we are. It matters what we do. -- Michelle Hodkin
The bathroom. An ingenious idea.
When we reached it, I turned to Noah.
"I'm going to be in here for a while. You probably don't want to wait."
I only briefly caught the horrified expression on his face before I pushed open the door with overwhelming force. Win. -- Michelle Hodkin
You are a girl, Mara. A girl blessed and cursed. -- Michelle Hodkin
My throat burned with the tears I wanted to cry but wouldn't. I knew she loved me. She just didn't believe me. I understood why, but it hurt like hell just the same. -- Michelle Hodkin
Smoking was a bad habit, yes. But he looked so good doing it." - The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer -- Michelle Hodkin
I'd rather he not know the depths of my crazy. -- Michelle Hodkin
You told me I smelled - like bacon."
"Well," he said evenly. "That's awkward. -- Michelle Hodkin
I just like to know what I'm putting in my mouth before I swallow -- Michelle Hodkin
People are so over-connected that they are completely disconnected -- Michelle Hodkin
Mara, if you're tired, I can hear it. If you're hurt, I can feel it. And if you lie, I will know it. -- Michelle Hodkin
You are like fire; you will burn wherever you go. If contained, channeled, you can bring light, but you will also always cast a shadow. -- Michelle Hodkin
My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm sorry, is driving and talking too complicated? No problem, I'll shut up. -- Michelle Hodkin
Both of us are justifiably disturbed by this development, though it has provided a new avenue of exploration as to why the fuck both of us are so deeply weird. -- Michelle Hodkin
That mouth. Smoking was a bad habit, yes. But he looked so good doing it. -- Michelle Hodkin
My father might be right. If I lost Noah, I might just lose my mind. -- Michelle Hodkin
I don't hear peeing," Jamie said mockingly.
"Eat me," I muttered.
"What's that?"
"Leave me," I said louder. -- Michelle Hodkin
My girl is talented, Noah said.
My heart stopped beating. -- Michelle Hodkin
You made me real, and I will hurt for you and because of you and be grateful for the pain. But this? This is forever. Don't do this. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was warned about you, you know."
And with that half-smile that wrecked me, Noah said, "But you're here anyway. -- Michelle Hodkin
Lightning flickered through the windows that wouldn't release us and made monsters of our shadows against the wall. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'll be gentle," Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me.
"You're evil."
"And you're mine. -- Michelle Hodkin
If you expect the worst from people, that's exactly what you'll get. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'd hit that so hard whoever pulled me out would become the King of England. -- Michelle Hodkin
No, it isn't irrelevant. You want me as much as I want you. And all I want is you. -- Michelle Hodkin
My name is not Mara Dyer. -- Michelle Hodkin
The freaks shall inherit the earth. -- Michelle Hodkin
Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better. -- Michelle Hodkin
The thing about happiness, though, is that it never lasts. -- Michelle Hodkin
I put on my shoes and a big, fake smile. I laughed on the outside while I screamed on the inside. My body was in the restaurant but my mind was in hell. -- Michelle Hodkin
Um, I think your brother might be waving at you. That, or trying to guide a plane to safety. -- Michelle Hodkin
Even if what he says is true, I am simply out of fucks to give. I had few to spare to begin with. -- Michelle Hodkin
Do not find peace. Find passion. -- Michelle Hodkin
But you know what their real problem with me was? I never wanted to be one of them. That's what bothers bullies the most. -- Michelle Hodkin
Having everyone stare and wonder what sort of hijinks your vagina's been up to isn't as thrilling as one might imagine. -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah's Gift is that he could live forever and help others to as well, but his curse is that he only wants to die. -- Michelle Hodkin
The choices you make will change you. -- Michelle Hodkin
You're distracting,' I said truthfully.
'I won't be. I promise,' Noah said. 'I'll get some crayons and draw quitely. Alone. In a corner. -- Michelle Hodkin
Sorry' doesn't mean anything when you can't promise not to do it again -- Michelle Hodkin
I hate that I never managed to persuade you to watch Buffy. It's a flaw in you, Mara. -- Michelle Hodkin
You're adorable when you're bitchy. -- Michelle Hodkin
He didn't look like the same person who picked me up this morning. Noah
sarcastic, distant, untouchable Noah
cared. And that made him real. -- Michelle Hodkin
Get them out. Please stop. -- Michelle Hodkin
...and I freaked the fuck out in earnest. -- Michelle Hodkin
Most people are like sand, the impact of their lives washed away by years. -- Michelle Hodkin
But non of this matters, because you're not going to listen to your token black Jewish bi friend, are you? -- Michelle Hodkin
So, what are you doing with my little sister today?" Daniel asked. I closed my eyes in defeat.
"I'm afraid I can't ruin the surprise," Noah said. "But I promise I'll return her intact."
He did not just say that. Daniel cackled -- Michelle Hodkin
The closer anyone gets to you, the more at risk they are of falling under your shadow, or being consumed by your flame. -- Michelle Hodkin
Only narrowly avoided being elbowed in the face by a girl attired in what could only be described as "slutty Gryffindor" apparel. So wrong. -- Michelle Hodkin
No, I got it," he said. His voice was weird.
"Really?" I felt a nervous thrill in my stomach. "What was it?"
Jamie hesitated before he spoke. Then he said, "Marashaw. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm chasing oblivion I will never find. -- Michelle Hodkin
Girly, I've been driving since before you were even a twinkle in your mother's eye. -- Michelle Hodkin
We get one life, Mara. You might live forever and I might die tomorrow, but right now we're both here. And I want to spend the time I have with you. -- Michelle Hodkin
Pain is just a feeling, and feelings aren't real. -- Michelle Hodkin
I know what I can do to a girl with a word, a look, a touch. And I want to do them all to her. -- Michelle Hodkin
Are you going to draw?"
"Nope."
"Shame. I was going to ask you to do me like one of your French girls. -- Michelle Hodkin
He was beautiful. And he was smiling at me. -- Michelle Hodkin
All I want is you. You don't have to choose me now or ever, but when you choose, I want you free. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'm too selfish to leave you," I said. Noah pulled back so I could see his smile. "I'm too selfish to let you. -- Michelle Hodkin
Don't you mean 'assclown'?" he looked amused.
"No," I said louder this time. "I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses. -- Michelle Hodkin
My chest, Stella's hip, Jamie's left ass cheek. -- Michelle Hodkin
I must be made of nothing to feel so much nothing. -- Michelle Hodkin
I hate you," I muttered.
Noah smiled wider. "I know. -- Michelle Hodkin
Did I just see you litter?'
'I'm driving a hybrid. It cancels out. -- Michelle Hodkin
I've already learned Parseltongue. What else is there?"
"Elvish. -- Michelle Hodkin
Something inside of me began to tear. -- Michelle Hodkin
It's a long story that involves copious quantities of alcohol and Lolita. -- Michelle Hodkin
Rows upon rows of books, lining built-in shelves that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. -- Michelle Hodkin
So we can't start a fire. We can't fly. We can't create a force field. We are the most bullshit superheroes. -- Michelle Hodkin
She is your weakness as you are hers. -- Michelle Hodkin
Tonight. And I would give him tomorrow, and everyday after, for as long as I possibly could. It wasn't enough for me, but it was enough for him -- Michelle Hodkin
We're mutants now?"
"Don't tell Marvel. They'll sue us. -- Michelle Hodkin
Now you're just being cruel.'
'I like pushing your buttons.'
'You'd enjoy it more if you undid them first. -- Michelle Hodkin
Let me guess. A certain unkempt bastard with a panty-dropping smile? -- Michelle Hodkin
Ow."
"You had a mosquito."
"No, I didn't. -- Michelle Hodkin
If she watched me any closer, she'd turn into the Eye of Sauron -- Michelle Hodkin
I was looking at a ghost, a shell, a stranger. -- Michelle Hodkin
If you ask the wrong questions, you will get the wrong answers. -- Michelle Hodkin
Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie. -- Michelle Hodkin
I will not find peace with her. But there will be no greater passion. -- Michelle Hodkin
I was a goldfish without a castle to hide in. -- Michelle Hodkin
I would say you'll make a liar out of me, but I was one long before we met. -- Michelle Hodkin
Don't hurt them," I said to Jude, and I meant it. "Please."
"I didn't want to," he replied, and punched me in the face. -- Michelle Hodkin
I feel like I'm going to catch hepatitis just standing here. -- Michelle Hodkin
I'll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear. -- Michelle Hodkin
How could everyone be so wrong about us? It is impossible that she could make me weak. Next to her, I feel invincible. -- Michelle Hodkin
I can't bear to look at my bed without seeing you in it. -- Michelle Hodkin
The sarcasm, it burns! -- Michelle Hodkin
I don't have feelings. -- Michelle Hodkin
I would rather die with the taste of you on my tongue than live and never touch you again. -- Michelle Hodkin
So, what are we going to do with you? Jamie asked.
"In what sense?"
"IN the sense that you go from zero to homicidal in sixty seconds."
"I'm passionate."
You're maniac," Jamie said -- Michelle Hodkin
We don't have to be what they want. -- Michelle Hodkin
That's what separated us from the multitudes of Them. We lived harder. Knew better. But we laughed anyway. Laughed because there was nothing else to do but give up. -- Michelle Hodkin
A half-truth is a whole lie, my mother says. -- Michelle Hodkin
So where were you?"
"Oh, hookers, blow, the usual."
"Why do I even love you? -- Michelle Hodkin
Her sound is a siren's song, calling me to the rocks. -- Michelle Hodkin
It's like you're a mirror and you show me who I want to be, instead of who I am. -- Michelle Hodkin
There," he said as he finished tying the laces on my left show. "Now you won't fall.
Too late. -- Michelle Hodkin
Other people are usually wrong. -- Michelle Hodkin
You can't be fixed. You can't be saved. -- Michelle Hodkin
He would kiss me, right now, after everything I'd done. I was poison, and Noah was the drug that would make me forget it. -- Michelle Hodkin
Noah stood slowly, his body skimming mine as he rose. "Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever." Noah's eyes held mind. his stare was infinite. "I was made for you, Mara. -- Michelle Hodkin
Is there any point in asking what you're going to do to me?"
He grinned wickedly. "Not really."
Fabulous.
"Does it involve the use of a safe word?"
"That will depend entirely on you. -- Michelle Hodkin
Well, schmear my bagel, if it isn't Mara Dyer. -- Michelle Hodkin
Do you know why it is that, even today, women are counseled to scream "fire" instead of "rape"? Because the fundamental truth about humanity is that most people would rather look away. -- Michelle Hodkin
I looked closely at it for the first time; the charm was just a slim line of silver - half of it hammered into the shape of a feather, the other half a dagger. It was interesting and beautiful; just like him. -- Michelle Hodkin
I don't know how our story will end, but I know how it will start. -- Michelle Hodkin
What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"I don't believe you."
"I don't care. -- Michelle Hodkin
You could be seen but not loved, or loved and not seen. -- Michelle Hodkin
But maybe someone like us will read it and they'll know they're not alone. -- Michelle Hodkin
I believe that every person has a responsibility to leave the world a better place than he found it. -- Michelle Hodkin
