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Ravelle, anyone in command feigns ease when death is near. We do it for those around us, and we do it for ourselves. We do it because the sole alternative is to die cringing. -- Scott Lynch

Well, if only I wasn't too much the gentleman to flay your spirit with a witty and cutting retort, madam, you'd be ... thoroughly ... um, wittily retorted at this very instant. - Locke Lamora -- Scott Lynch

Why do you assume it's something you've done, and something you can undo at will? I'm not some arithmetic problem just waiting for you to show your work properly, Locke. Did -- Scott Lynch

Difficult" and "impossible" are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common. -- Scott Lynch

He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular. -- Scott Lynch

To us - richer and cleverer than everyone else! -- Scott Lynch

[W]hen you find yourself face to face with one [Bondsmage], you bow and scrape and mind your 'sirs' and 'madams.'
...
'Nice bird, asshole,' said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

You were talking to her before, right?" "Yeah. It was going well. Now it's all strange." "Have you considered extreme, desperate measures like talking to her again? -- Scott Lynch

Until you finally lose the strength for sarcasm, Locke, I wouldn't hire any mourners. -- Scott Lynch

As for why we're going over the plan again, let me remind you that one good screwup will make the fate of those poor bastards look sunny in comparison to what we'll get. -- Scott Lynch

I have only two wishes," said Jean. "The first is for strong coffee, and the second is for stronger coffee. -- Scott Lynch

Her eyes [were] like the sudden plunge to blue depths beyond a continental shelf. -- Scott Lynch

How very comforting. If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing -- Scott Lynch

Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone ... not even to ourselves. -- Scott Lynch

And for all our sakes, tame that mess on top of your head. Use fire and a poleaxe if you have to. -- Scott Lynch

Barsavi realized something that too many men in the city were slow to grasp; an idea that he reinforced years later when he took the Berangias sisters to be his primary enforcers. He was wise enough to understand that the women of Camorr could be underestimated only at great peril to one's health. -- Scott Lynch

Beer now,bitch later. -- Scott Lynch

As Chains had once said, feeling like you wanted desperately to die was fine evidence that you had yet to do so. -- Scott Lynch

What a mouse he is made by conversation,' " Ezri recited. " 'Scorns gods, dares battle, and flinches from a maid's rebuke! Merest laugh from merest girl is like a dagger felt, and like a dagger, makes a lodging of his breast. Turns blood to milkwater and courage to faint memory.' -- Scott Lynch

I don't expect life to make sense," he said after a few moments, "but it could certainly be pleasant if it would stop kicking us in the balls. -- Scott Lynch

Well, it certainly is nice to be free from the threat of that lamp, my boy." Chains drew a last breath of smoke, then rubbed his dwindling sheaf of tobacco out against the roof stones. "Was it informing for the duke? Plotting to murder us? -- Scott Lynch

You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street. -- Scott Lynch

When men and women of arms have bled to secure a time of peace, the very people who most benefit from that peace are also the most likely to forget the bleeding. -- Scott Lynch

You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit. -- Scott Lynch

It's things like this that makes a ship seem like home. Help you forget what a load of tedious old shit life out here can be. -- Scott Lynch

You'll pardon me," he finally said, "if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with generosity toward me leaves me wanting to arm myself and put my back against a wall. -- Scott Lynch

In time, you'll come to understand that a state like ours cannot afford to offer up a show of weakness for honesty's sake. -- Scott Lynch

His remorse and better judgment arrived, late as usual, like party guests riding in just after the social disaster of the season has already erupted. -- Scott Lynch

Such audacity could never be faked - Locke had to feel it, summon it from somewhere inside, cloak himself in arrogance as though it were an old familiar garment. Locke Lamora became a shadow in his own mind... Locke's complicated lies were this new man's simple truth. -- Scott Lynch

You needed a bath," Jean interrupted. "You were covered in self-pity. -- Scott Lynch

There was no point in stealing well or wisely if the loot couldn't be stashed somewhere safe. -- Scott Lynch

It's an old Camorri tradition for when a bunch of people are planning something stupid," said Locke. "Actually, we have a lot of traditions for that. You'll find out -- Scott Lynch

What good's slacking all the time if the ship comes apart beneath you while you sleep? -- Scott Lynch

My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it -- Scott Lynch

Liquor does this? Even after you're sober?" "A cruel joke, isn't it? The gods put a price tag on everything, it seems. -- Scott Lynch

I can't wait to have words with the Gray King when this shit is all finished," Locke whispered. "There's a few things I want to ask him. Philosophical questions. Like, 'How does it feel to be dangled out a window by a rope tied around your balls, motherfucker? -- Scott Lynch

We go now," said Locke, "or I leave you here to die. Understanding is a luxury; you don't get to have it. Sorry. -- Scott Lynch

I can neither confirm nor deny you are a sneaky, sneaky bitch. -- Scott Lynch

Excellent,' said one of the Sanzas. "Soon he'll be fat, and we can butcher him like all the others for a Penance Day roast."
"What my brother means to say," said the other twin, "is that all the others died of purely natural causes, and you have nothing to fear from us. Now have some more bread. -- Scott Lynch

Once a Big Lie was let out in the world, it seemed to grow on its own and needed little tending or worry to bend to the situation. -- Scott Lynch

If these things are alchemical," said Sofia, "I'd better be the one to have a look at them."
"If it could be dangerous, I'm going as well," said Lorenzo.
"And me," said Conte
"Great! We can all go! It'll be fun!" Locke waved his tied hands at the door. "But hurry it up, for fucks sake. -- Scott Lynch

We like what we like, we want what we want, and nobody needs to give us permission to feel that way! -- Scott Lynch

You know who waxes philosophical about the tiniest weaknesses of enemies? The powerless. -- Scott Lynch

A boy may be as disagreeable as he pleases, but when a girl refuses to crap sunshine on command, the world mutters darkly about her moods. -- Scott Lynch

Feeling human again?" said Locke.
"this brew could make a dead eunuch piss lightnign" said Jean. -- Scott Lynch

The sunrise sky was creeping over the edge of the city in orange-and-scarlet striations, and the clocks were or were not chiming seven. -- Scott Lynch

The sky was a fading red and nothing remained of the day save for a line of molten gold slowly lowering on the western horizon. -- Scott Lynch

You have to be a dead-eyed dirty-souled maniac to want to spend your extended life trading punches with other maniacs. Once you've seized that power, there's no getting off the merry-go-round. You fight like hell just to hold on or you get shoved off. -- Scott Lynch

The more in control the mark thinks they are, the more easily they respond to real control. -- Scott Lynch

So, uh, just to be clear," said Calo, "none of us are going to be fighting Jean?" "Not unless you're inconceivably stupid. -- Scott Lynch

I think it's fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions, the burning certainty that we're unique geniuses, and the constant fear that we're witless frauds who are speeding toward epic failure. -- Scott Lynch

If you're going to live here, staying civil is as much a duty as sitting the steps or washing dishes. Now, while I bask in the glow of another moral sermon delivered with the precision of a master fencer, hold your applause and let's get back to last night. -- Scott Lynch

There are only three people in life you can never fool
pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof. -- Scott Lynch

What do you do,' said Jean, 'with, ah, "ungifted" children when you have them?'
'Cherish them and raise them, you imbecile. Most of them end up working for us, in Karthain and elsewhere. What did you think we'd do, burn them on a pyre?'
'Forget I asked -- Scott Lynch

He withdrew then, leaving [him] standing in the bloody morning sunlight, leaving him all alone at the heart of his fortress, for the second time, with nothing but a corpse for company. -- Scott Lynch

You are beyond mad," said Locke after several moments of silent, furious thought. "Full-on barking madness is a state of rational bliss to which you may not aspire. Men living in gutters and drinking their own piss would shun your company. You are a prancing lunatic. -- Scott Lynch

If you want to write a negative review, don't tickle me gently with your aesthetic displeasure about my work. Unleash the goddamn Kraken.
[on Twitter, July 17, 2012] -- Scott Lynch

To live the life the gods have given you, you must clutch wisely, then run. Run like the houds of hell on a sinner's scent! -- Scott Lynch

Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sporting limitations and its proscriptions against dishonorable engagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to kill men with a sword. -- Scott Lynch

I'm sorry," muttered Locke. "I was so keen to come to Tal fucking Verrar." "It's not your fault. We were both eager to hop in bed with the wench; it's just shit luck she turned out to have the clap. -- Scott Lynch

At the sight of a Sanza brother offering cards, every guard in the room took a step back; some of them visibly struggled with the idea of raising their crossbows again. -- Scott Lynch

The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet. -- Scott Lynch

I more proudly take a speck from a man with empty pockets," said Sabetha, "than riches from a man whose purse stays heavy. -- Scott Lynch

Butterflies instantly came to life in his stomach, and the little bastards were heavily armed. -- Scott Lynch

Ha! Yes. When anyone tells you habits die hard, Locke, they're lying - it seems they never die at all. -- Scott Lynch

Let us speak behind our hands, lest our lips be read as the book of our designs, and let us find some place where only gods and rats may hear our words aloud. -- Scott Lynch

If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. -- Scott Lynch

Your moral education's over." Jean stared up into the sky as the dockside receded and Bug took them out into the canal's heart. "Now you're going to learn a thing or two about war. -- Scott Lynch

You're a lever and a fulcrum, you two, looking for a city to turn upside down. -- Scott Lynch

He was bewildered at how quickly he had escaped his old life and fallen into this new one with strangely pleasant crazy people. -- Scott Lynch

I don't want to spend the rest of the day interrupting your questions, so I'm going to temporarily forget how to make words come out of my mouth. -- Scott Lynch

Sad day, my loves, a proper tragedy. But when the milk's gone bad you might as well look forward to cheese, hmm? -- Scott Lynch

Jerome. May I see you in my cabin? Just for a few minutes?"
"A few minutes?" Jerome grinned. "Tsk, Ezri, when did you become such a pessimist?"
"Now," she said, wiping the smile from his face. Chagrined, he helped her to her feet. -- Scott Lynch

I want to be a barking public embarrassment as soon as possible. -- Scott Lynch

Lies go out, but the truth stays home. -- Scott Lynch

Like celestial bodies, transiting in their orbits, exerting their influences. -- Scott Lynch

Begging everyone's pardon," said Big Konar, "but it ain't polite to have an argument if nobody else knows what the fuck you're arguing about. -- Scott Lynch

The best disguises were those that were poured out of the heart rather than painted on the face. -- Scott Lynch

Ezri, if you need to hit me, then by the gods hit me. If that's what you need, I won't fight you for a second. Not ever. Just ... tell me what you want. -- Scott Lynch

We carry your precious misery with us like a holy fucking relic. -- Scott Lynch

Our patron has always sort of danced upon the notion that austerity and piety go hand in hand; down here, we show our appreciation for things by appreciating, if you get me. -- Scott Lynch

It was easy to laugh at such conceits in full daylight. But night had a way of lending weight to phantasms. -- Scott Lynch

Locke threw himself at Father Chains, and the man, without hesitation, scooped him up and held him, patting his back until his racking sobs quieted down. -- Scott Lynch

Chains reached over and grabbed Locke's fist, then mimed swinging it into Calo's jaw. "Repeat as necessary," said Chains, "until your problems are spitting up teeth. -- Scott Lynch

Live snakes?' said one of the scribes. 'You mean-'
'Yeah,' said Locke. 'They've got scales, they slither around - snakes. Keep up. -- Scott Lynch

How would you be able to detect a fart over your natural odor, Sanza?" "For shame," said Galdo. "There's no Sanzas here, remember? I'm an Asino." "Oh yes," said Locke with a yawn. "Yes, you certainly are. -- Scott Lynch

Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?"
"On occasion," said Locke. "There are contrary opinions. -- Scott Lynch

Nah, if she's the rose, he can be her thorn." Calo snapped his fingers. "The Thorn of Camorr! Now, that's got some shine to it!"
"That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard," said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

Barsavi knew how to create expectations, Locke, and how to use those expectations to mislead those who would harm him. -- Scott Lynch

Hope is what we all build lives for ourselves upon, is it not? -- Scott Lynch

Locke moaned.
'Quit sobbing, you damn baby,' Jean hissed as he began to lope back along the dock. 'You must have at least a half beer glass of blood left somewhere in there.'
But Locke was now well and truly unconscious ... -- Scott Lynch

You're one third bad intentions, one third pure avarice, and one eighth sawdust. What's left, I'll credit, must be brains. -- Scott Lynch

I thought you specialised in dishonest finesse?"
"I also do a brisk trade in putting knives to peoples' throats and shouting at them," said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

Time's a river, Locke, and we've always drifted farther down it than we think. -- Scott Lynch

I can't name the poison that's killing your friend. But the one that's killing you is called hope. -- Scott Lynch

Gods damn you, LOcke,'she whispered. The corners of her eyes glistened.
'Twice now? Look, uh, if I said the wrong thing
'
'No,' she said, wiping at her eyes, trying but failing to do so nonchalantly. 'No, the trouble is you said the right thing. -- Scott Lynch

The real magic of the Sinspire was woven from its capricious exclusivity; deny something to enough people and sooner or later it will grow a mystique as thick as fog. -- Scott Lynch

If the whole things goes to shit, just remember to throw yourself down the damn waterfall."
"I'll cover your back, the sharp and bloody way. -- Scott Lynch

Good. Well. Shit." Locke rubbed his gloved hands together. "I guess that's that. I'm all out of rhetorical flourishes. -- Scott Lynch

He lay there shaking in the light of the red lamps, in a silent hall, alone with his triumph, unable to move and bleeding to death. -- Scott Lynch

Let's start wobbling, shall we? said Locke's knees, but this offer was met by a counterproposal from his better judgement to simply freeze up and do nothing, like a man treading water who sees a tall black fin coming straight at him. -- Scott Lynch

Sloppy idiot," Sabetha muttered at last. "You're trying to be charming. Well, I do not choose to be charmed by you, Locke Lamora. -- Scott Lynch

Piss!" shouted Kosta, hoisting his tumbler toward Cosetta, who nearly came apart at the joints with the resulting fit of giggles.
"Thank you, Ravelle, for this gift of a daughter who will now be up all night repeating that word ... -- Scott Lynch

Come, then! Face Ravelle! The gods have sent your doom, motherfuckers! -- Scott Lynch

Sophara scrawled orders on a slate and handed it to one of the libationarians, whose encyclopedic knowledge of the contents and locations of all the bottles kept the bar running. -- Scott Lynch

Their cold blue light shone through the silver curtains of river mist as streetlamps might glimmer through a smoke-grimed window -- Scott Lynch

We want what we want. We don't need to justify it. And we can take it, we should. I want you, and I'm taking you. -- Scott Lynch

I am through fucking around. Maybe this is going to complicate the hell out of things. So what? You're the complication I want more than anything else. You're my favorite complication. No matter what sort of holes you poke in my trust. -- Scott Lynch

But this is silly - we could sit here all night contrasting cock-lengths. I say mine is five feet long, you say yours is six, and shoots fire upon command. -- Scott Lynch

Got a ship with women and cats aboard, you'll have the finest luck you can hope -- Scott Lynch

Twenty's good and proper. While Locke gestured for Calo and Galdo to help him set -- Scott Lynch

Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind -- Scott Lynch

Find your happy faces, Gentlefucker Bastards, it's a bright new day and we get to start it EARLY! -- Scott Lynch

If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. Chinese Proverb -- Scott Lynch

You know who else thought lightly of them, once? The Falconer. -- Scott Lynch

If I could just somehow let you see yourself through my eyes. I guarantee your feet would never touch the ground again. -- Scott Lynch

You simply collapsed, sir. In layman's terms, your body revoked its permission for you to continue heaping abuse upon it. -- Scott Lynch

This brew could make a dead eunuch piss lightning, -- Scott Lynch

Locke sighed.
'So this is winning,' he said.
'It is,' replied Jean.
'It can go fuck itself,' said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments after that, while the sun settled into its downward arc in the west and long shadows began to creep across the face of the city. -- Scott Lynch

There's no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated. -- Scott Lynch

Like piss," she hollered, shaking her head.
"There are some drawbacks," said Zamira, "to raising children among sailors. But then I myself am no doubt making the largest contribution to her vocabulary."
"Piiiisssss," yelled Cosetta, giggling and immensely pleased with herself. -- Scott Lynch

Well then," said Locke. "Now that we've all realized precisely how tough we'll never be, let's stand on what we have. -- Scott Lynch

Sure, kid. Look, there's a very old saying in my family: 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is another wizard fucking with you. -- Scott Lynch

Well, hell. It's been five years. Maybe she's learned to lose gracefully. Maybe she's out of practice." "Maybe trained monkeys will climb out of my ass and pour me a glass of Austershalin brandy," said Jean. -- Scott Lynch

I practise selective deafness to hurtful remarks. -- Scott Lynch

You can't help being young, but it's past time that you stopped being stupid. -- Scott Lynch

The world moved in horrifying slow motion; Locke, who was no stranger to a beating, was cursed with the uncanny ability to recognize one just before it ceased to be theoretical. -- Scott Lynch

Fling arrows at all the strange things you see out here, and all you do is run out of arrows. -- Scott Lynch

When you don't know everything that you could know, it's a fine time to shut your fucking noisemaker and be polite. -- Scott Lynch

I keep asking myself," whispered Sabetha, giving Locke's arm a squeeze, "ARE we smarter than that woman's chicken?"
"At the moment, it's an open question," said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

There's no talking sense to sentiment, -- Scott Lynch

I'm going to put that fucker in the dirt as deeply as any man who's ever been murdered, ever since the world began. -- Scott Lynch

I assure you that in all matters of discretion not involving food, we make etiquette tutors look like slobbering barbarians. -- Scott Lynch

Blessed is the one who aids a thief, hides a thief, revenges a thief, and remembers a thief, for they shall inherit the night. -- Scott Lynch

Heavens," said Galdo in a deep, dramatic voice, "only one man living could have squeezed forth such a gleaming brown jewel
this is the work of Squatting Calo, the Midnight Shitter! -- Scott Lynch

The world had a fragile liquid quality, running at the edges and spinning on previously unrevealed axes. -- Scott Lynch

We're a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don't believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more. -- Scott Lynch

What do you think of the old boy?" said Jean.
"He's got a strangely sunny view of ten years of defeat", said Locke, "but if I get killed in the next six weeks, I want him to speak at my funeral. -- Scott Lynch

This is a mess. A mess! Shraplin, you're probably sober-esque. How many cards in a standard deck?"
"Sixty, boss."
"How many cards presently visible in our hands or on the table?"
"Seventy-eight."
"That's ridiculous," said Amarelle. "Who's not cheating? -- Scott Lynch

I desire you as deeply as I ever have, but I understand that the fervor of a desire is irrelevant to its justice. -- Scott Lynch

Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time. -- Scott Lynch

It smelled something like a keg of bad beer overturned in a mortician's storage room on a hot summer's day. -- Scott Lynch

The familiar smells of a busy tavern at an hour closer to dawn than dinner. Sweat, scalded meat, puke, blood, smoke, and a dozen kinds of bad ale and wine: the bouquet of the civilized nightlife. -- Scott Lynch

Only prisoners were ever granted easy passage into a prison. -- Scott Lynch

A voice called out, cold as chloroform and old shame. -- Scott Lynch

Careful, Sofia," said Don Lorenzo.
"Don't teach a sailor to shit in the ocean," she muttered. -- Scott Lynch

Just as you and I speak by forming words, the natural, private discourse of the Sanza twins appears to consist entirely of farts and savage beatings. What -- Scott Lynch

Familiarity has a way of filing the sharp edges off our feelings for other people. You'll see. -- Scott Lynch

Worst of all, the inner vault is guarded by a live dragon, attended by fifty naked women armed with poisoned spears, each of them sworn to die in Requin's service. All redheads.
-You're just making that up, Jean. -- Scott Lynch

Run like the hounds of hell on a sinner's scent! -- Scott Lynch

Tonight is delicate business," said Drakasha. "Misstepping in Port Prodigal after midnight is like pissing on an angry snake. I need - " "Ahem," said Locke. "Originally, we're from Camorr." "Be on the boat in five minutes," said Drakasha. -- Scott Lynch

This is where you and I are headed ... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated -- Scott Lynch

Chains used to claim that there's no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated," said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

The next person who tells me something like, "Squiggle-fuck the rightwise cock-swatter with a starboard jib," is going to get a knife to the throat. -- Scott Lynch

Set foot in our house again," said Sofia, "and you'll become a permanent feature in my laboratory. -- Scott Lynch

That's great, Jean. I'm not just exiled; I'm being plumped up for slaughter. -- Scott Lynch

Manners that would keep you starving are no manners worth respecting. -- Scott Lynch

When the sky's falling, I take shelter under bullshit. -- Scott Lynch

I'm not beholden to the confirmation of your prejudices; to be perfectly frank, the prospect of confining the female characters in my story to placid, helpless secondary places in the narrative is so goddamn boring that I would rather not write at all. -- Scott Lynch

I'm ever so sorry,' said Sabetha. If the words THAT WAS A LIE had suddenly sprung up behind her in letters of fire ten feet high, the effect could scarcely have added to her tone of voice. -- Scott Lynch

When you see the Crooked Warden," said Locke, twisting something in his hands, "tell him that Lock Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way. -- Scott Lynch

You are! There ain't no Thirteenth! Ain't naught but the Twelve, that's truth! Yeah, I been to Verrar a couple times, met up with lads and lasses -- Scott Lynch

No, Mistress of Doubts, I've brought you here to this secluded corner of the city for the nefarious purpose of cooking your dinner myself. -- Scott Lynch

Master Thorn... you have a curiously tender heart, for a thief of your appetites."
"I'm a sworn brother of the Nameless Thirteenth, the Crooked Warden, the Benefactor," said Locke. "I'm a priest. -- Scott Lynch

Woman, your heart is a mapless maze. Could I bottle confusion and drink it a thousand years, I could not confound myself so much as you do between waking and breakfast. You are grown so devious that serpents would applaud your passage, would the gods but give them hands. -- Scott Lynch

Don Lorenzo and 'Master Eccari' fenced pleasantries for a few moments thereafter; Galdo eventually let himself be skewered with the politest possible version of 'Thanks, but piss off. -- Scott Lynch

The world is cruel enough without our compounding it; -- Scott Lynch

When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players. -- Scott Lynch

Crooked Warden," said Locke, "men are stupid. Protect us from ourselves. If you can't, let it be quick and painless. -- Scott Lynch

Crooked Warden," said Chains. "Just this morning I was suffering from the delusion that I was handing out the educations here. -- Scott Lynch

May they all be stricken with the screaming fire-shits. He sipped his -- Scott Lynch

What is government but theft by consent? -- Scott Lynch

Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius. -- Scott Lynch

Jean ... you are a greater friend than I ever could have imagined before I met you; I owe you my life too many times over to count. I would rather be dead myself than lose you. Not just because you're all I have left. -- Scott Lynch

All apologies for getting most of your fortune buried under shit. I hope we can all still be friends. -- Scott Lynch

Arms out, falling backward, staring up into the hot near-noon sky with the confident assurance of all twelve of his years that death and injury were things reserved solely for people that weren't Bug. -- Scott Lynch

They kissed for the sort of endless moment that only exists between lovers whose lips are still new territory to one another. -- Scott Lynch

Not everything that's inevitable is regrettable. -- Scott Lynch

And you're the son of his youngest. He has no other children. Oh, your father's dead, by the way. Fell off a horse two years ago.'
'Good to know. -- Scott Lynch

What kind of knife is this?" Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains' inspection. "It's all wrong. You couldn't kill anyone with this. -- Scott Lynch

I want you to use your misplaced acorn for a brain before the squirrel comes looking for it again. -- Scott Lynch

I have always found the presumptions of others to be the best possible disguise - haven't you? -- Scott Lynch

Congratulations! We're reverse burglars, here to give you fifty gold solari! -- Scott Lynch

Wicked sisters,' said Jean, as he let the hatchets fall out of his right robe sleeve and into his hand, 'I'd like you to meet the Wicked Sisters. -- Scott Lynch

I trust my points are noted ... Very noted ... Received, recognized, and duly considered with the utmost gravity. Sealed, notarized, and firmly imprinted upon my rational essence. -- Scott Lynch

You'd have to take your shoes and breeches off to count to twenty-one! -- Scott Lynch

Key, crown, child," he muttered. "Well, fuck you, Patience. Three things must you kiss before I let you spook me for good. My boots, my balls, and my ass. -- Scott Lynch

The difference between honest and dishonest commerce is that when an honest man or woman of business ruins someone, they don't have the courtesy to cut their throat to finish the affair. -- Scott Lynch

You're the complication I want more than anything else. You're my favorite complication. No -- Scott Lynch

What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"
"'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money. -- Scott Lynch

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink. -- Scott Lynch

I heartedly approve, in theory," said Ibelius, "but in practice I believe I shall ... absent myself. -- Scott Lynch

And will they all hang with with you, for fellowship,and split death into equal shares like loot?"
"I am not caught yet, -- Scott Lynch

I'll wager I would have screwed things up regardless. But ... can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming, 'Your cats! Give us all your gods-damned cats! -- Scott Lynch

You write?" "Why, all the time," said Locke, "except of course when I'm wrong. -- Scott Lynch

I cut off his fingers to get him to talk, and when he'd confessed everything I wanted to hear, I had his fucking tongue cut out, and the stump cauterized."
Everyone in the room stared at him.
"I called him an asshole, too," said Locke. "He didn't like that. -- Scott Lynch

Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all your god-damned cats! -- Scott Lynch

Know something? I'd lay even odds that between the people following us and the people hunting us, we've become this city's principle means of employment. Tal Verrar's entire economy is now based on fucking with us. -- Scott Lynch

Only one way to win when you're being chased by someone bigger and tougher than you. Turn straight around, punch their teeth out, and hope the gods are fond of you. -- Scott Lynch

Belay this. We don't have to decide anything now. Just ... think on what I said. I didn't bring you in here for negotiations."
"What did you bring me here for?"
"Noise," she whispered, starting to pull his tunic off. "Lots and lots of noise. -- Scott Lynch

The ghouls leered at her, unbreathing, their flesh crisply necrotic like rice paper pressed over old oozing wounds. -- Scott Lynch

Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn't it? -- Scott Lynch

Ah," said Jean, "but when a woman has your heart, she doesn't have poor moods. Only interesting moods ... and more interesting moods. -- Scott Lynch

Nervy little Shades' Hill purse-clutcher, thinking you can keep me in the dark. What plan?"
"The plan to steal a corpse."
"Ahem. Anything else you'd like to tell me about it?"
"It's brilliant. -- Scott Lynch

As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It's not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination. -- Scott Lynch

So that makes us robbers of robbers," said Bug, "who pretend to be robbers working for a robber of other robbers. -- Scott Lynch

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day. -- Scott Lynch

I wouldn't call it looming, madam. Some of us simply aren't built for looming, said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

I can be very loud, when I'm being stupid. -- Scott Lynch

It's easy to prescribe remedies for our own weaknesses when they're comfortably ensconced in other people. What -- Scott Lynch

You've got that motherly concern in your eyes, Jean. I must look like I'm hammered as shit," said Locke.
"Actually you look like you were executed last week. -- Scott Lynch

Well, the gods love a man who laughs at hardship." "Hardship is boring as all hell. Gotta find laughs if you can't stay drunk, -- Scott Lynch

I'm fit and I'm angry, and I'm obviously crazy. Anything could happen. -- Scott Lynch

It was always impossible to put a price on making your enemy shit their breeches. -- Scott Lynch

Maybe the one real advantage to getting older is that you have the time to pull your head a little bit farther out of your ass. -- Scott Lynch

The fact Locke didn't die instantly may be taken as proof that a human male can survive having every last warm drop of blood within his body rush instantly to the vicinity of his cheeks. -- Scott Lynch

In the glass burrow beneath their feet, the flames began to rise. First the flames, and then the screams -- Scott Lynch

It was strange, how readily authority could be conjured with nothing but a bit of strutting jackassery. -- Scott Lynch

Damn it, when will you learn that refusing to admit you've lost isn't the same as winning?" "Sort of depends on how long one keeps refusing, doesn't it? -- Scott Lynch

Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they're after an image, not a person. -- Scott Lynch

That's how luck works, lad.
You can bitch all you like about how things could have been more favorable for you, but rest assured things can always be worse.
Always. -- Scott Lynch

Why were all his fantasies so calamitous for that table, which had done him no injury? -- Scott Lynch

Go forth now and live, Locke Lamora. Live, uncertain. -- Scott Lynch

In a fair fight, the don's man would almost certainly paint the walls with Locke and Calo's blood, so it stood to reason that this fight would have to be as unfair as possible. -- Scott Lynch

The only constant in the soul of man is inconstancy; anything and everything else can pass out of fashion
even something as utilitarian as a hill stuffed full of corpses. -- Scott Lynch

The functionaries in the courtyard of the Palace threw open their wooden shutters and settled in for a long day of saying "fuck off in the name of the duke" to all comers. -- Scott Lynch

This is what a command is. Staring consequences in the eye and pretending not to flinch. -- Scott Lynch

A troupe learns to play like we all learn to screw, stumbling and jostling until everything's finally in the right place. -- Scott Lynch

Sweat, scalded meat, puke, blood, smoke and a dozen kinds of bad ale and wine: the bouquet of civilized nightlife -- Scott Lynch

My, you are in a sad state. You believe you've been poisoned?" "No," said Locke with a cough. "I fell down some fucking stairs. What's it look like? -- Scott Lynch

This man is my boatswain. -- Scott Lynch

Cold walls do not a prison make, nor iron bands a bondsman. -- Scott Lynch

Oh. You have a magic boy. Why didn't you say so?" The priest scratched his forehead beneath the white silk blindfold that covered his eyes. "Magnificent. I'll plant him in the fucking ground and grow a vine to an enchanted land beyond the clouds. -- Scott Lynch

If what Locke is doing were larking about, corpses could get jobs as acrobats. -- Scott Lynch

I sometimes think that 'friend' is just a word I use for all the people I haven't murdered yet. -- Scott Lynch

I didn't promise you shit. My dead friends, on the other hand
I made them certain promises I intend to keep. -- Scott Lynch

Hardships are arbitrary, Locke. You never know which particular quality in yourself or a fellow is going to get you past them. -- Scott Lynch

Age has a way of exagerrating the physical traits of those who live to feel its strains; the round tend to grow rounder, and the slim tend to waste away. -- Scott Lynch

Hey," said Locke, scratching his stubble absently with his quill. "That sounds suspiciously like wisdom, damn your eyes. Why must you always flounce about being wiser than me?" "Doesn't require much conscious effort. -- Scott Lynch

You unfailingly omnibothersome bitch. -- Scott Lynch

Privileges of age, size, and ass-kissing. If you survive this conversation, you'll find that it's just the same in most of the big gangs. -- Scott Lynch

We don't see the life after life as it truly is, because in our eyes it conforms to our mechanics of nature. -- Scott Lynch

I don't need to be reminded that we're up to our heads in dark water. I just want you boys to remember that we're the gods-damned sharks. -- Scott Lynch

Land has its pirates, same as the sea, -- Scott Lynch

But you didn't die."
"Clever lad, to deduce that from such slender evidence after living with me for just three years. -- Scott Lynch

Actually not bad at all. Tastes minty, very refreshing."
"A worthy epitaph," said Jean -- Scott Lynch

Money makes a man mirthful. -- Scott Lynch

My name's Jean Tannen, and I'm the ambush. -- Scott Lynch

Ibelius," said Jean. "If what Locke is doing were lurking about, corpses could be acrobats. -- Scott Lynch

Interesting," said Sabetha, "that I mention my own feelings, and you seem to think that what I'm after is reassurance concerning your perceptions. -- Scott Lynch

I'm not as reckless as I used to be. You know, when I was little. -- Scott Lynch

I am the king idiot," he muttered, "of all the world's fucking idiots. -- Scott Lynch

You bite on reflex, and then your conscience bites you. -- Scott Lynch

We have a new problem, fresh from the oven and hot as hell. -- Scott Lynch

Bearded peasant goes in one end of an alley, clean-shaven gentleman comes out the other? Really?" "It's a classic! -- Scott Lynch

After all, poison is only contagious at dinner parties. -- Scott Lynch

I don't have to fight or run," [Locke] cackled. "I changed the rules of the game. I just have to keep you here ... asshole.
Here ... until ... Jean gets back. -- Scott Lynch

Gentlemen Bastards." hissed Locke, "do not abandon one another, and we do not run when we owe vengeance. -- Scott Lynch

I'm not gong to kill you, said Locke
I'm going to play a little game I like to call 'Scream in pain until you answer my fucking questions. -- Scott Lynch

That sounds dangerous,'said Jean.
'For anyone else, maybe.For Gentlemen Bastards,we,it;s just what we do.'
'We?'
'We. -- Scott Lynch

If only this city's entire population of lurking assholes shared one set of balls, so I could kick it repeatedly. -- Scott Lynch

I am utterly emboldened in my cowardice. -- Scott Lynch

His view of the sky spun first left then right, as though the world were trying on strange new angles for his approval. -- Scott Lynch

Well, cheer up. At least you've got more mobility than a fucking tadpole on dry land. -- Scott Lynch

I'm just... enjoying the floor. It was kind enough to catch me when I fell. -- Scott Lynch

Maxilan, darling." Locke raised one eyebrow and smiled. "I knew you were driven, but I had no idea you could smoulder. Come, take me now! Jean won't mind; he'll avert his eyes like a gentleman. -- Scott Lynch

It must be nice to be righteous; from where I stand it looks like fucking lunacy. -- Scott Lynch

I think I can stand up, though!" He demonstrated the questionable optimism of this pronouncement by falling on his face. -- Scott Lynch

I want to hug you. And I want to tear your gods-damned head off. Both at once."
"Ah," said Locke. "Near as I can tell, that's the definition of 'family' right there. -- Scott Lynch

Son of a bitch," said Locke, "but I am displeased. It all comes down to clothes. Clothes, clothes, clothes. What a ridiculous thing to be restrained by. -- Scott Lynch

Oh gods, Jean. Take a false name wherever we end up. Tavrin Callas is good. Let the bastard pop up all over the place. -- Scott Lynch

I mean, it's not calling me 'Locke.' It knows my real name. -- Scott Lynch

You're my favorite complication. -- Scott Lynch

You're ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass. -- Scott Lynch

If you put Durant's brains in a thimble full of water they'd look like a ship lost in the middle of the sea. -- Scott Lynch

Sorcery's impressive enough, but it's their fucking attitude that makes them such a pain. -- Scott Lynch

Can't fear the fire if you don't scald your fingertips. -- Scott Lynch

It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. I was comfortable, and you dared to move, those jade eyes said. For that you must die. -- Scott Lynch

What thief does not fight to hold what he has?"
"One that has something better," said Locke. -- Scott Lynch

If you mean the ease with which you drop coins when you're off a-cunting, you're right. You're a one-man charity ball for the whores of Camorr, you are -- Scott Lynch

She ran, as best she could run; as she made her way toward the rail it became a jog, and then a desperate hop. She was on fire all the way, screaming all the way, unstoppable all the way. -- Scott Lynch

I'm very pleased. Very, very pleased. But I really must ask - why the hell have men and women been throwing money in my kettle for the past half hour, telling me they're sorry for what happened in the Videnza?" "It's because they're sorry for what happened in the Videnza," said Galdo. -- Scott Lynch

I shall give you a little prophecy, Locke Lamora, as best as I have seen it.
'Three things you must take up and three things you must lose before you die: a key, a crown, a child.' Patience pushed her hood up over her head. 'You will die when a silver rain falls. -- Scott Lynch

Nice bird, asshole! -- Scott Lynch

For Calo, Galdo, and Bug -- Scott Lynch

Carrying a proper sword, is he? Those well-fed types do tend to crowd their breeches, or so I hear. -- Scott Lynch

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks. -- Scott Lynch

We may need to ready ourselves to repel boarders." "With what? One stiletto and hurtful insinuations about their mothers? -- Scott Lynch

I don't have to beat you. I don't have to beat you, motherfucker. I just have to keep you here ... until Jean shows up. -- Scott Lynch

Hard lessons were handed out. As many men learned to their sorrow, it's impossible to be intimidating when one angry woman has your cock between her teeth and another is holding a stiletto to your kidneys. -- Scott Lynch

If your father says 'Bark like a dog,' I say 'What breed, Your Honor? -- Scott Lynch

The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games - " " - is Locke Lamora - -- Scott Lynch

I suspect this is all gonna end in screaming and drowning -- Scott Lynch

You're a difficult woman, Sabetha. But then, difficult women are the only ones worth falling in love with. -- Scott Lynch

Nature never deceives us;
it is always we who deceive ourselves. -- Scott Lynch

Can't buy in for the last hand if you don't get there in time to take a chair. -- Scott Lynch

I'm surprised you agreed to let me pour the wine. -- Scott Lynch

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes. -- Scott Lynch

Gods, when did we discover how easy it is to be cruel to one another? -- Scott Lynch

Surely you realize," said Patience, "that cats are no great respecters of human opinion. -- Scott Lynch

What thieves of wonder are these poor senses. -- Scott Lynch