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One day you will have to tell me where you acquired this aversion to walking on solid ground," said Dominic. "Try having a baby sister whose idea of a good time involves pit traps and land mines," I advised. -- Seanan Mcguire

Blood is thicker than water, but family isn't just about blood. Family is about faith, and loyalty, and who you love. If you don't have those things, I don't care what the blood says. You're not family. -- Seanan Mcguire

How much does the iron in your blood and the calcium in your bones remember of the heart of the star in which they were born? And if they can forget that terrible, magnificent heat and light, what hope do I have of being more than an unremarkable footnote to you? -- Seanan Mcguire

It was easier than I expected, maybe because I was too angry and too afraid to really pay attention to what I was doing. Things are always easy when you refuse to let yourself remember how dangerous they are. -- Seanan Mcguire

True power wasn't convincing a cowardly lot to be afraid of something that people were already afraid of; it was giving them a complex that made them run screaming when a fluffy kitten came bounding into the room. -- Seanan Mcguire

When you decide to be the immovable object standing in front of the unstoppable force, you'd better pray that you're right about being immovable, and they're wrong about being unstoppable.' 'Otherwise, you'll wind up like a bug on a windshield. -- Seanan Mcguire

I found 'Bordertown' when I was standing on the border between childhood and my teens, and it carried me past that transition. In the process, it helped to create the next step of its own evolution: the modern urban fantasy owes a lot more to 'Bordertown' than many people will ever know. -- Seanan Mcguire

Promises bind our kind as surely as iron chains or ropes of human hair. The fae never swear by anything we don't believe in. We don't ask for thanks and we don't offer them; no promises, no regrets, no chains. No lies. -- Seanan Mcguire

Raysel, you told me yourself that your father wasn't my liege anymore. I don't have to obey his wishes, spoken or unspoken, and so I can finally say this: go drown yourself, you self-righteous little bitch. -- Seanan Mcguire

Any man who doesn't believe in carrying weapons on a first date is not a man worth knowing. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sadly, as I had come to learn, sometimes being a pincushion is my purpose in life. -- Seanan Mcguire

My dear October, we are bound by an enchanted rose made from the hair of a Duchess, and my blood is covering your hand. You can learn anything you wish to know about me merely by licking you fingers." Tybalt laughed a little. "Yes, you may ask me a question. -- Seanan Mcguire

Where did you find the whipped cream?" he asked. "You had milk, I had science," said Jack. "It's amazing how much of culinary achievement can be summarized by that sentence. Cheese making, for example. The perfect intersection of milk, science, and foolish disregard for the laws of nature. -- Seanan Mcguire

This was the sort of situation that called for a certain amount of terror. -- Seanan Mcguire

I can't. I'm not a good influence on him. I keep getting him shot. I swear too much, I don't brush my teeth every time I go to bed, and I never remember to eat a balanced breakfast. You want someone with culture. Poise. A lack of gunfire.
-Toby -- Seanan Mcguire

Sometimes, when it seems like the pain is never going to end, I wish I'd gotten a different suite of magical talents from my mother. Like the power to avoid situations that end with me willingly jamming my arm into a door made entirely from animate, apparently angry rose briars. -- Seanan Mcguire

Hello carnivore,' said the mouse priest. He turned and bowed to Uncle Mike and Dominic. 'Hail to the High Priest of Goddammit Eat Something Already, and to the God of Hard Choices in Dark Places.' Ryan blinked. 'What?' 'It's a mouse thing, just roll with it, you'll be happier that way,' I advised. -- Seanan Mcguire

I was getting tired of being in an endless succession of things called "the fight of a lifetime." Just once, I'd like to have the fight of a Tuesday afternoon. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sloane only hesitated for a second before wheeling it over to park next to Henry, propping Jeff's head on the pale woman's shoulder. "There - you're finally sleeping together," she said, a gallows grin on her face. -- Seanan Mcguire

If you don't mind, I need to fall down until my head stops hurting." "Of -- Seanan Mcguire

This, too, was part of losing Fran: watching all the things she'd made better with her presence fade blacker than they'd been before she came along. -- Seanan Mcguire

Remember that most people, human or cryptid, don't like what they don't understand. They're not wired for that kind of compassion. Feel sorry for them, unless they form an angry mob and march on your house. When that happens, release the hounds. - Evelyn Baker -- Seanan Mcguire

Glanced to me. I shrugged. "He always talks like this. You sort of learn to put up with it or turn the volume up on the TV." "As you can see, his disrespect for me, a King of Cats, is also a credit to your house," said Tybalt, not missing a beat. -- Seanan Mcguire

What's to stop the populace from decrying you as a witch and rising against you?"
"I don't know. A couple hundred years of social evolution, combined with a general failure to believe in anything that doesn't have a Wikipedia entry? -- Seanan Mcguire

He said that he was sure you would be amendable to this course of action." April paused, eyes widening, before she said indignantly, "I believe he may have lied to me! -- Seanan Mcguire

Is there any time in your life when you do not feel the need for caffeine?"
"Sure. Sometimes I'm asleep. -- Seanan Mcguire

I've done tangos with men who thought my ass was a squeaky toy. -- Seanan Mcguire

You know, just once, I'd like my life to be all about spending Sunday afternoon in my pajamas, -- Seanan Mcguire

You are covered in blood," Tybalt said again, stressing the words harder this time. "It makes me tense." There was a thud as the guard hit the floor, and Tybalt returned to my side.
"Wow. You must be tense a lot."
He sighed. "You have no idea. -- Seanan Mcguire

Ah, ambushes. Those take me back. The best ones are the ones that start with chloroform and handcuffs, and end with death threats and knives. And by 'best' I mean 'most irritating,' you understand. -- Seanan Mcguire

They thought they had snicker-snatched a little girl - fairies love taking little girls, it's like an addiction with them - and when they found out they had a little boy who just looked like a little girl on the outside, uh-oh, donesies. They threw him right back. -- Seanan Mcguire

Use when you're piping the virus into the rats, -- Seanan Mcguire

Logic and loss aren't always great friends. Sometimes we mourn for the things that hurt us. Sometimes, that's okay. -- Seanan Mcguire

The Luidaeg is the daughter of Oberon and Maeve, which technically makes her my aunt. Maybe that's why she hasn't killed me yet, although it's just as likely to be the fact that I amuse her. May says we're reenacting the Princess Bride, one "I'll most likely kill you in the morning" at a time. -- Seanan Mcguire

Danny. You're a Troll, driving a cab. Yesterday, I was a superhero, and today I'm addicted to jam. Jam. Do you really think we get to pass judgment on what does and does not get to exist? -- Seanan Mcguire

Faerie may not always have been the kindest place to live, but it was still my home. I owed it to Gillian, To May, to Dare, and Tybalt and January, and all the others not to say that my life had been a mistake. Not when it had been so intertwined with theirs. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sometimes I think it must have been nice to be alive in the days where everyone knew that Faerie existed. Sure, bands of angry humans sometimes tried to kill us with iron and fire, but nobody questioned where we wanted to celebrate the seasons. -- Seanan Mcguire

Thank God it's not, or your father would never have been conceived." "Ew! Grandma, ew! Don't say things like that! How can you say things like that with your face? Your actual grandma face? You're supposed to be all innocent and baking cookies and forgetting that sex was ever a part of your life. -- Seanan Mcguire

Alex would make a terrible Martian," said Sarah. "He doesn't have a giant laser and he's not planning an Earth-shattering kaboom." She -- Seanan Mcguire

How quickly they grow apart, when there is something to be superior about. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's because Narnia was a Christian allegory pretending to be a fantasy series, you asshole," said one of the other boys. "C.S. Lewis never went through any doors. He didn't know how it worked. He wanted to tell a story, and he'd probably heard about kids like us, and he made shit up. -- Seanan Mcguire

Fuck that; I want to be a dentist, said Sloane, and stalked down the hall, leaving the rest of us to follow. -- Seanan Mcguire

And I won't let anybody hurt the boys, since they're too wussy to defend themselves. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's all childhood is, after all: strong arms to hold back the dark, a story to keep the shadows dancing, and a candle to mark the long journey into day. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm going to kill you." "You look fine." "I'm quite serious. I'm going to murder you. I'm going to murder you to death. And then, after I've finished doing that, I'm going to kill you again, just to be sure you got the point." "Shelby, honestly, you look fine. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'd never seen the King of Cats fight before. He was suddenly everywhere, made of nothing but fangs and claws and fury, snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera. Our witless assassin never stood a chance. -- Seanan Mcguire

Actually, yes, I would say something like 'there may be bears here.' Bears are not a pleasant surprise for most people. -- Seanan Mcguire

I squared my shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing in the apartment of the sea witch, wearing a fairy-tale prom gown, waiting for the attack of the mermaids. -- Seanan Mcguire

Mayhem now, please. -- Seanan Mcguire

Do we have to have the 'don't lie to the telepath' talk again? It won't take long. I say 'don't lie to the telepath, it never works,' you glare at me, and then you go find something you can hit. -- Seanan Mcguire

As always, my alarm went off too early, yanking me back into a world I wasn't quite prepared to deal with. I looked automatically toward the window as I sat up. Only three bloody crescents marked the spots where bluebirds had managed to slam themselves to death against the glass. -- Seanan Mcguire

Corpses are incapable of offering informed consent, and are hence no better than vibrators. -- Seanan Mcguire

I love you more than fairy tales. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's time that we finally admitted that we can see the love that's everywhere, filial and romantic and platonic and shared by all different types of people, in all different combinations. This is the future. All we have to do is open our eyes, and see. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm just concerned." "Don't be. It's not like my chronic migraine is going to kill us." "Right." She -- Seanan Mcguire

I gaped at her before turning to gape at the rest of my family. Gaping seemed like the only real answer. If they were going to have to identify my body by my dental records, I was going to make sure they all got a good look at my teeth. -- Seanan Mcguire

'Seanan McGuire' is my real name; if I'm being silly and third-person about it, she's a frequently cranky, foul-mouthed Disney Princess on vacation in the real world, where she studies diseases, cuddles reptiles, watches lots of horror movies, and goes to as many corn fields as possible. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's no such thing as fighting dirty. There's fighting like you want to live, and fighting like you want to die. If you've got anything to live for - anything at all - I suggest you try the first way. The people you love will thank you for it. - Alice Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

yeah, my dad was human. He was a good man, and I'm proud to be his daughter. My mother, on the other hand, was Firstborn. So unless you call the First of your race Mommy or Daddy, I think my breeding is better than yours." Verona -- Seanan Mcguire

I do so love how all magic comes with its share of dire warnings and unclear requirements," sighed Tybalt. "It's like being on the stage, only there's no director, and the understudies have all died of typhus. -- Seanan Mcguire

Thanksgiving dinner with my family is awesome," I deadpanned. "Now drink your gold before somebody comes along and mutates you into a twisted parody of humanity. -- Seanan Mcguire

Nameless McBitchypants -- Seanan Mcguire

There weren't any fairy tales in the streets around me. If there was ever a
Cinderella, her glass slippers shattered under her weight and she limped home bleeding from the ball. -- Seanan Mcguire

Never tell anyone to be careful, never ask what that noise was, and for the love of God, never, ever say that you'll be right back. - Evelyn Baker -- Seanan Mcguire

You'll always come back to warn him, no matter how much danger it could put you in, no matter what it costs you, because he cared for you when you thought you were nothing. You were never nothing. That didn't matter. Perception is everything in this world -- Seanan Mcguire

I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sorry ... I got distracted listening to you and hot glued myself to my unicorn -- Seanan Mcguire

Then I'd been determined to be the best blind foster the world had ever known, following every rule, obeying every protocol, the very model of royal fae youth. Maybe that way, they would send for me. I could go home. -- Seanan Mcguire

Destiny, noun: 1. The inevitable or irresistible course of events. 2. The inescapable future. 3. See also screwed. -- Seanan Mcguire

Death doesn't bother me but murder makes me edgy, and my lack of weaponry suddenly felt like a potentially fatal mistake. If we got back to the hotel alive, I wasn't coming back here again without my knife and the baseball bat. And maybe a tank, if I could find one fast enough. -- Seanan Mcguire

I grew up in an apartment that would have made a trailer look really decadent and nice. Pretty much the only dependable thing I had was books. -- Seanan Mcguire

I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered. -- Seanan Mcguire

Ryan, I require something so horrifically alcoholic that it makes livers tremble with fear and run for their lives when its name is uttered," I said solemnly. -- Seanan Mcguire

I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that fighting Tybalt wouldn't get me out of the darkness. It would strand me there. -- Seanan Mcguire

Quentin Sollys: the Once and Future King of Spiders. -- Seanan Mcguire

Nothing else seems out of the ordinary for a horrible haunted forest being inhabited by a child eating witch. -- Seanan Mcguire

most people have better things to do than bother Sylvester, who has a history of permanent solutions to temporary annoyances. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's no such thing as a normal life. Some lives are just more interesting than others, and we shouldn't judge people for being boring. -- Seanan Mcguire

Every good thing you find, no matter how small, is a penny for you to put in your pocket. Gather them close, and treasure them. Someday you'll have a future where you feel rich enough, emotionally, to spend them freely. -- Seanan Mcguire

Painters and sculptors and designers, they take raw materials and turn them into art. Dancers turn themselves into art. We are poetry in motion when we do our jobs right, and we can stop your heart with the point of a toe or the angle of a limb. But -- Seanan Mcguire

Being smart isn't good enough. You need to be educated, and you need to be open-minded, and you need to remember that what you don't know can most definitely hurt you. -- Seanan Mcguire

The electronic age has broadened the horizons of magical fraud to an astonishing degree. Faerie gold can be used for more than just party tricks; it works pretty well on the stock market, for example, where money's an illusion anyway. -- Seanan Mcguire

I know because your mice have been sending Facebook messages to my mice. They really like the caps lock key. Someone should teach them about proper email etiquette. -- Seanan Mcguire

You can live your life in "should" and never change anything. What's done is done. We buried our dead. I went home. Manuel went to Shadowed Hills to hate me in peace. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sloane sauntered into the observation room like she didn't have a care in the world, and scowled when she saw the coffee cup in my hand. "I came for coffee," she said. "If you have consumed all the coffee, I am going to straight-up fucking murder you, and drink a latte out of your skull. -- Seanan Mcguire

When the door opened, the three goons from the hall found me braced in a defensive stance, holding a full-sized horseman's glaive in front of me. As expected, all three of them stopped and stared. Eight-foot long polearms had that effect on people. -- Seanan Mcguire

I just wasn't anticipating Goblin assassins with crossbows pushing me into a situation where the only viable exit involved riding a mermaid's wheelchair into the marina.
Sometimes I think my life is too complicated. -- Seanan Mcguire

Just because I wouldn't go back if you paid me, that doesn't mean I want to forget a second of what happened to me. I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't gone to Prism. -- Seanan Mcguire

- just your basic girl next door, assuming your girl next door comes spring-loaded with seventeen ways to kill a man. Which implies a pretty interesting neighborhood that most people probably don't want to visit. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sometimes romance is of less importance than the feeling of being absolutely safe: of knowing that nothing and no one can hurt you, because the person who loves you most in all the world will destroy them if they try. -- Seanan Mcguire

I didn't love him, but there was a time when I might have, and that was enough to move me forward. I needed to be needed. This wasn't the right way. -- Seanan Mcguire

A valet pulled up in a sleek-lined sports car painted that particular shade of red peculiar to expensive vehicles and hookers' lipstick. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's not that Etienne dislikes Tybalt. Etienne just dislikes chaos, and Tybalt causes almost as much commotion as I do. Sometimes more, when he really sets his mind to it, although my chaos is a little more destructive, if I do say so myself. -- Seanan Mcguire

You know what "sorry" does? Sorry doesn't do a damn thing. -- Seanan Mcguire

A single revelation does not change a life. It is a start. -- Seanan Mcguire

As presumptive heir to one of the largest Duchies in the Kingdom of the Mists, she could have easily grown up more spoiled than any human princess. Instead she grew into the sort of little girl who's always up a tree or down a hole, a magnet for mud, queen of worms and frogs and crawling things. -- Seanan Mcguire

She wanted to be a perfect little princess. All she did was turn herself into a flawed reflection of an ideal she could never achieve. -- Seanan Mcguire

We came here because no place would take us after our momma died. They all said go away, come back when you're older, when you know better, when you've learned. Only no one wants to teach how to be older or to know better - not even Devin. They just teach us how to be broken. -- Seanan Mcguire

At least my headache was almost gone. I always deal better with emergencies when I'm not actively in pain. -- Seanan Mcguire

That was sort of like being in someone else's nightmare, only no one was naked and there were no lobsters on the walls. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's funny how people can change your life without meaning to. Even the fucked-up, crazy people leave everything different when they go away. -- Seanan Mcguire

Hope means you keep on holding to things that won't ever be so again, and so you bleed an inch at a time until there's nothing left -- Seanan Mcguire

Hope means you keep holding on to things that won't ever be so again. -- Seanan Mcguire

God, I hate Sleeping Beauties." Why that story, out of all the possible stories, should have the sort of staying power it does is beyond me. Centuries of helpless girls, half of them rotting away years before their Prince could come. It makes me sick. -- Seanan Mcguire

Watching 'Doctor Who' in the United States meant I was always behind the times - PBS didn't get new episodes until two years after they ran, and I was aware of the show's cancellation before the characters themselves knew, at least in my corner of the world. -- Seanan Mcguire

Money comes and goes, but time only goes. Time -- Seanan Mcguire

I've always thought of joggers as being sort of like Blind Michael and his crew: deserving of respect, but slightly psychotic. Who in their right minds would want to get out of bed and run around in their underwear before noon? -- Seanan Mcguire

Only an idiot would trust a Kelpie this close to the water. Getting on its back with the scent of the sea in the air would be a fast, painful means of suicide, and I'm not a fan of pain. -- Seanan Mcguire

Since Dominic's been sleeping with me, the mice have been trying various labels on him, looking for one that fits. My personal favorite was the week they spent calling him the God of Absolutely Never Smiling, No, Not Ever. -- Seanan Mcguire

We are handed the balance of our blood and the shape of our lives and told to do something with them. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sometimes ripping away the bandages was what allowed the soul to finally heal. -- Seanan Mcguire

Where do they come from?" In those days, her every word was gospel truth, and I would have asked anything to keep her talking to me.
"Tears. The first time Oberon left Maeve for her pretty sister, she didn't understand, and she nearly died of sorrow. -- Seanan Mcguire

Now I know that if you open the right door at the right time, you might finally find a place where you belong. -- Seanan Mcguire

Everyone thinks of them in terms of poisoned apples and glass coffins, and forgets that they represent girls who walked into dark forests and remade them into their own reflections. -- Seanan Mcguire

Australia basically holds the copyright on "weird ecosystem." The only place where you're going to find weirder things is at the bottom of the ocean, and no one suggests that you go there for a fun family vacation.) -- Seanan Mcguire

Snarling like a chainsaw trying to sing opera -- Seanan Mcguire

I have waited a very long time to be able to have inappropriately timed discussions about the status of our relationship with you. I don't intend to let my own stupidity take this opportunity away from me. -- Seanan Mcguire

I've always found profanity to be a lot like bacon," said Ciara. "It works wonders on the flavor of your speech, but it lacks impact when used excessively. -- Seanan Mcguire

It smells like mulberries."
"Sometimes it smells like bananas or artichokes. -- Seanan Mcguire

That probably wasn't the smartest thing you've ever done. Points for style, I guess. Points off for being too stupid to live. -- Seanan Mcguire

(My youngest sister, Antimony, is still trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. For the moment, it mostly seems to be roller derby, the occasional monster hunting job, and getting pissed at our parents.) -- Seanan Mcguire

Istas, please don't eat my mice. They're very important to me, and besides, it's rude to eat anything you've been introduced to. -- Seanan Mcguire

There was peace in stillness, a serenity that couldn't be found anywhere else in this hot, fast, often terrible world. -- Seanan Mcguire

Quentin looked curiously around. "This is a neat room," he said.
"Yes, it is," I replied, directing my compliment toward the distant ceiling. Everyone deserves a few compliments. Even a building. -- Seanan Mcguire

You want to go back, and so you hold on to the habits you learned while you were traveling, because it's better that admitting the journey's over. -- Seanan Mcguire

Most cats don't like water, and despite her pretensions of tigerhood, Julie was no different. Yes, tigers have stripes; so do tabbies. If you want to know the difference, try tossing one of each into your swimming pool. Then I would recommend running. -- Seanan Mcguire

Each time I tell myself you have reached the summit of your strangeness, you find a way to climb still higher." "Look at it this way: being married to me will never be boring. -- Seanan Mcguire

Just thinking about how long it's been since I've managed to wind up covered in blood," I said. "It's like a new trend. A blood-free trend. -- Seanan Mcguire

Call me a sucker for a man who had a great ass who knows how to bake a macaroni casserole and can tolerate six hours of Sesame Street a day. -- Seanan Mcguire

I may be a composite of multiple dead people, but I'm not stupid. -- Seanan Mcguire

In the end there's never a sanctuary. You run until there's nowhere left to run to, and then you fight, and then you die, and then it's over. That's how the world works, and if there's any way to change that, I hope someone's eventually planning to let me know. -- Seanan Mcguire

There is a list of things I'm not allowed to discuss at the dinner table! I am extraordinarily passionate about the Black Death, which is not something most people are into. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's nothing wrong with having a few monsters in the shadows. They keep me remembering what it is that I'm walking away from. -- Seanan Mcguire

I might get arrested, but I wasn't likely to get dissected. This is my life. -- Seanan Mcguire

Telepaths have ethics?' Dominic's eyes narrowed, tone and posture united to convey disbelief.
'My mother and I do, said Sarah, letting her head settle against the back of the chair. 'We mostly got them from Babylon 5, but they still work. -- Seanan Mcguire

When you're late in a fairy tale, people wind up dead. And not true-love's-kiss, glass-coffin-nap-time dead. Really dead, the kind of dead you don't recover from. -- Seanan Mcguire

I looked back to Dominic, who was watching me with unguarded affection. "You are insane, infuriating, and in dire need of aid if you're going to survive this," he said. "My help was always yours. All you had to do was ask for it." "I'm asking," I said. "Then I'm yours. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm always depressed when a book ends, because those are my friends for however long the book takes to write. Since I spend so many hours with these fictional people, I sometimes see them more than my real friends. And then they're gone, and we'll never be together like that again. -- Seanan Mcguire

couldn't I have picked a more reasonable time to do it? Then again, when do I get a reasonable time to do anything anymore? There's always something going wrong. If I put my life on hold until everything was calm, I'd be waiting forever for the chance to start living. Tybalt -- Seanan Mcguire

Family matters more than anything else in this world. Family doesn't have to love you. Family doesn't even have to like you. But when you need them, family has to have your back." - Kevin Price -- Seanan Mcguire

A proper lady should be able to smile pretty, wear sequins like she means it, and kick a man's ass nine ways from Sunday while wearing stiletto heels. If she can't do that much, she's not trying hard enough. -- Seanan Mcguire

'Mira Grant' is actually my pseudonym. And 'Seanan' is pronounced 'SHAWN-in.' -- Seanan Mcguire

Or do you truly mean for us to believe that when you were running along rainbows, you never saw anyone fall? Someone plummets out of the sky, they're not going to get up and walk away from it. They're going to die. -- Seanan Mcguire

A lot of people have read the Mira Grant books who are not urban fantasy readers, and they would never have picked up a book with an urban fantasist's name on the cover, but then they go on to read my urban fantasy and like it. -- Seanan Mcguire

Life in our world is very sink or swim, and that's for the best. If you can't survive in the deep end, you should get out before you drown. -- Seanan Mcguire

Life as the chosen religious figure for a colony of cryptid mice can be a lot of things, but it's definitely never boring. -- Seanan Mcguire

It used to be all black, like my mother's. When I danced with the Lord of the Dead for the first time, he said it was beautiful, and he ran his fingers though it. All the hair turned white around them, out of jealousy. That's why I only have five black streaks left. Those are the parts he touched. -- Seanan Mcguire

When someone judges you for something you can't help, try to forgive them. They don't understand. And if they keep doing it, knock their fucking teeth in. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's where the dreams end: with the realization that it doesn't matter where I am, whether I think I'm a woman or a fish or something in-between. I've never really left the pond. I still can't breathe. -- Seanan Mcguire

It wasn't fair to play games with the hearts of people who loved me. And they did love me
I had to admit that, or nothing would ever make sense again. -- Seanan Mcguire

Not fair," Quentin said. "She's the one insulting us, and she gets to walk away?" "Dramatic exits are the last refuge of the infantile personality," I said. "Now drink your soda and help me think of nasty names to call her next time she shows up. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's easy to say that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few when no one's holding a gun to your head. -- Seanan Mcguire

If anyone should be kind, understanding, accepting, loving to their fellow outcasts, it's you. All of you. You are the guardians of the secrets of the universe, beloved of worlds most would never dream of, much less see. . . can't you see where you owe it to yourselves to be kind? -- Seanan Mcguire

The God of Scales and Silences is not sick," said the mouse. The others joined in with nods and sounds of rodent agreement. "He is damaged, yes, and will need Tender Care and perhaps Kisses for his Boo-Boos, but he is not sick. -- Seanan Mcguire

She can stop traffic with a smile. I can stop traffic, too. I just tend to do it by crashing my car into something. -- Seanan Mcguire

First, check your ammunition. Then, check your escape routes. Finally, check your hair. - Frances Brown -- Seanan Mcguire

I whirled, fighting a wave of dizziness as I pointed at Sylvester and snapped, "Don't you 'October' me. He is my family . Even if you couldn't respect that, I don't understand how the hell you got Quentin to go along with you."
- Toby to Sylvester in reference to Tybalt. -- Seanan Mcguire

Love doesn't care what you want. Love doesn't care if it's convenient. Love pursues its own agenda, and there's no bullet in the world that can take it down. More's the pity. -- Seanan Mcguire

This world is unforgiving and cruel to those it judges as even the slightest bit outside the norm. -- Seanan Mcguire

In Tybalt's case, it means bloody control of the local Court of Cats. He became their king by right of blood; he's held the position by beating the crap out of anyone who tries to take it away. The Cait Sidhe take a more direct and bloody approach to succession than most of Faerie. -- Seanan Mcguire

Hope can be cruel, but giving up is worse, -- Seanan Mcguire

I WAS DONE. No. That wasn't quite right. I was a hundred miles past done, cresting into the Fjords of Nope, heading for Fuck-That-Ville. -- Seanan Mcguire

Love is a powerful thing; it makes us all equals by making us briefly, beautifully human. -- Seanan Mcguire

Why did you put spaghetti sauce into your cousin's drink?"
"Because I like it that way," said Sarah, taking the glass. "You have your chemical stimulants and I have mine, monkey. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sloane's laugh was brief and brittle, like ice breaking in an enchanted forest. -- Seanan Mcguire

Never bring a weapon too big to double as a dining utensil to the table when dining with friends. -- Seanan Mcguire

It can't all be dreams because a broken dream will kill you as surely as a nightmare will, and with a lot less mercy. At least the nightmares don't smile while they take you down. -- Seanan Mcguire

Jacqueline and Jillian, who were crying for some of the many reasons that babies cry - they were cold, they were distressed, they were offended by the existence of gravity - continued to wail. -- Seanan Mcguire

The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club. -- Seanan Mcguire

My headache was worse than ever. I groaned, raising my right hand to my temple, and the last of the comfortable darkness dissolved, leaving me inarguably awake. Damn. "Toby? -- Seanan Mcguire

Evening was my worst friend and my best enemy, and she never really knew me, because even in the end, she didn't understand that I would've done it without the curse. -- Seanan Mcguire

Um, hello?" I raised a hand. "Not a traitor, and the Queen told us where to find you. Or do you think that we're such major badasses that we fought our way through the knowe to come and loiter at you in an imposing fashion? Because I've got to say I'm flattered. -- Seanan Mcguire

The Moors exist in eternal twilight, in the pause between the lightning strike and the resurrection. They are a place of endless scientific experimentation, of monstrous beauty, and of terrible consequences. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's just so beautiful," said Lyra, miming wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Our little Valerie's learning how to play nicely with the other children." "I will kill you all in your sleep," I said. Lyra was still laughing when the town car arrived. -- Seanan Mcguire

Nothing lasts forever. That's the tragedy and the miracle of existence - that everything is impermanent. Everything changes. All we can do is make the best of the time we have. And go down shooting, naturally. -- Seanan Mcguire

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived with monsters, and the monsters swore that they would never hurt him, because even monsters dream of living happily ever after. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's the beauty of the future. We get to change it. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm not sorry," said Quentin. "One of them tried to take my throat away from me. With its teeth. I'm not you. I need my throat. -- Seanan Mcguire

Doors opened everywhere. Maybe one day, the children of this world who had gone to that world to save themselves would see a door that didn't fit right with the walls around it, something with a doorknob made of a moon, or a knocker that winked. Maybe they could still go home, -- Seanan Mcguire

I would love a sandwich,' said Tybalt, with enough gravity to make it sound like a formal proclamation. Resolved: that we will have ham and cheese sandwiches. -- Seanan Mcguire

I smiled. I know how creepy I am when I smile. Whoever came up with "skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood" and thought people would find it attractive really wasn't thinking things through. -- Seanan Mcguire

Don't be careful. Be courageous. Don't be safe. Be strong. Don't be a victim. Be the one who makes it home. - Evelyn Baker -- Seanan Mcguire

Expectations are dangerous things. They've probably killed more people than any creature or cryptid you care to name. -- Seanan Mcguire

Wisconsin doesn't look kindly on the weeks that slip in between the death of cold and the birth of warmth; Persephone may have left her husband, but she isn't home yet, and this is one state that'll be damned before it lets anyone forget it. -- Seanan Mcguire

She was a woman with something to protect. That made her more dangerous than they could ever have suspected. -- Seanan Mcguire

You think cold pizza is a breakfast food," I said. "Only if you put Captain Crunch on it," she replied. There was a moment of silence as all of us considered this. -- Seanan Mcguire

I am the sea witch. I am the tide you fear and the turning you can't deny. I am the sound of the waves running over your bones on the beach, little man, and I am not amused at finding you on my doorstep. -- Seanan Mcguire

Protecting the human race should really come with a per diem, I swear. -- Seanan Mcguire

We all make mistakes. Luckily for us, there are very few mistakes that cant be solved with a suitable application of either lipstick or hand grenades - Frances Brown -- Seanan Mcguire

I was that kid with the glasses and the hungry expression who haunted every library book sale and used bookstore in town: the one who always has a book in one hand and is reaching for the next book with the other. There's one in every town. -- Seanan Mcguire

Their love wanted to fix her, and refused to see that she wasn't broken. -- Seanan Mcguire

What is wrong? Is this related to the notice I received from Queen Windermere that a war was being beta-tested, and might be cleared for release? I do not have time to allow my coders to be slaughtered. It seems very inefficient. -- Seanan Mcguire

Librarianship is a form of heroism. It's just not as flashy as swords and dragons. -- Seanan Mcguire

Every time I think my family has plumbed the depths of stupidity, somebody goes and finds a goddamn shovel." - Jane Harrington-Price -- Seanan Mcguire

Hail!" chorused the mice. "Hail the High Priest of Goddammit Eat Something Already! -- Seanan Mcguire

(Australia. The only continent designed with a difficulty rating of "ha ha fuck you no.") -- Seanan Mcguire

The best thing I ever did was figure out how to hide a pistol in my brassiere. The second best thing I ever did was let Thomas figure out how to find it, but that's a story for another day. - Alice Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

I write everywhere. I've written books while I was on planes, at Disney World, and in multiple countries of which I am not a native. It can be a struggle to make word count sometimes, but I will persevere! -- Seanan Mcguire

Any ending where you're still standing on your own feet is a happy one. -- Seanan Mcguire

Quentin quieted and watched her for a moment, hungrily, like he was trying to memorize every detail. Maybe he was. Forever is a long time. You have to burn the edges of memory onto your heart, or they can fade, and sometimes the second loss is worse than the first one. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's not hard to marginalize people when they've already done it to themselves. -- Seanan Mcguire

Tybalt's what we call 'Cait Sidhe' - the fairy cats. Which explains the attitude. And the eyes."
"Meow," said Tybalt, deadpan. -- Seanan Mcguire

Also you don't have to worry about stumbling over any sexual fetishes unless you're checking somebody's browser history, and I figure once was enough to teach you that lesson." Dominic choked on his milkshake. "I hate you." Sarah sipped her shake, expression mild. -- Seanan Mcguire

Thomas? I think I'm going to need a bigger gun. -- Seanan Mcguire

Every inch of ground on this planet is a palimpsest, scraped clean and overwritten a million times, leaving behind just as many ghosts. -- Seanan Mcguire

Younger than she should have been, older than any child should ever need to be. -- Seanan Mcguire

Don't let anyone tell you, ever, that this is a zero-sum game. Your genius does not threaten me. It delights and inspires me. -- Seanan Mcguire

Who has a hedge maze in a residential neighborhood? ... serial killers presumably, people who enjoy Steven King novels a bit too much, and people that are hoping one night they will wake up to find David Bowie standing at their window. -- Seanan Mcguire

I didn't ask." "I noticed," I said, in my best "I am a scientist, don't fuck with me" tone. It -- Seanan Mcguire

That's basically the cherry on top of this week's sundae of suck. -- Seanan Mcguire

I would greatly prefer it if you didn't put a bullet into my brain; it would complicate my plans for life, most of which involve not being dead. -- Seanan Mcguire

I was born and raise din San Francisco, which explains my willingness to stay in a city that's historically been full of people who insist on trying to kill me at the slightest provocation. -- Seanan Mcguire

I don't do that. With anyone." "You're celibate?" "No. Celibacy is a choice. I'm asexual. I don't get those feelings. -- Seanan Mcguire

The mythology warped and twisted back along itself until Buffy Summers, the girl who once railed against the unfairness of being Chosen, looked at a squadron of girls who were just like she'd been and took away their right to Choose. -- Seanan Mcguire

Children of Maeve reproducing with children of Titania wasn't like apples mixing with oranges - it was more like apples mixing with cheese graters, or rainbows with hardware stores. -- Seanan Mcguire

Because they're the wrong colors, right? Somebody else's rainbow. -- Seanan Mcguire

I have an aunt who believed strongly that teaching kids that Shakespeare is 'hard' is wrong, so she handed me 'Hamlet' when I was in kindergarten to see what would happen. What happened was I did a book report on 'Hamlet' and caused quite a lot of trouble! -- Seanan Mcguire

A mother is always proud of her children. Sometimes she doesn't understand what the hell it is they're doing, but that's also part of motherhood. If you always understand your kids, they're probably not telling you everything. -- Seanan Mcguire

Let's go commit senseless acts of science. -- Seanan Mcguire

Time never runs backward when I need it to. Not for me, and not for anyone else. -- Seanan Mcguire

Good question," I said, more slowly. "When does she get in?" "What?" Alex blinked. "Your sister?" I said. He was a lot less attractive when he looked that confused. "When does she come on shift? -- Seanan Mcguire

We've got an airborne Sleeping Beauty -- Seanan Mcguire

The first thing that matters: I am a child of the eighties. I grew up in a neon wonderland of talking horses, compassionate bears, hair that didn't move in a stiff wind, and the constant threat of nuclear war. -- Seanan Mcguire

We hated each other so well and loved each other so badly ... -- Seanan Mcguire

Everything has a cost, October; remember that. It may be a long time before the bill comes due, but everything has a cost.
Luidaeg -- Seanan Mcguire

And I am clearly coming around too often and putting up with too much of your monarchist bullshit, because you seem to have forgotten the essential fact that I. Will. Fuck. You. Up." The Luidaeg took a step toward Arden. -- Seanan Mcguire

I dislike the dead returning to life," said Etienne, his shoulders slumping again. "It's untidy and inappropriate. -- Seanan Mcguire

I don't like corpses in that way unless they've been reanimated," said Jack. "Corpses are incapable of offering informed consent, and are hence no better than vibrators." "I wish that didn't make so much sense, -- Seanan Mcguire

She said she'd been in relationships with way bigger problems than one of us being a transitory manifestation of impending doom. Like this one girl who liked her computer more than she liked her girlfriend, and another one who smoked. -- Seanan Mcguire

Real' is a four-letter word, and I'll thank you to use it as little as possible while you live under my roof. -- Seanan Mcguire

If you wish to find your answers, you'll need to begin thinking, not merely reacting.
Lily -- Seanan Mcguire

We've much to do, and time does insist on being linear here, because it's awful. -- Seanan Mcguire

Jan built herself an ivory tower to keep the wolves out; she never dreamed they were already inside. -- Seanan Mcguire

Adversity doesn't exist to make us stronger. Adversity exists because this world is a damn hard place to live. Prove that you're better than the things it throws at you. Live. -- Seanan Mcguire

Brenna Kelly, meet Alice Price-Healy. Grandma, meet Breanna. No one is shooting, stabbing or immolating anyone in this hotel room."
"Please," added Dominic. "I have to sleep here."
"HAIL!" Rejoiced the mice. "HAIL THE LACK OF STABBING, SHOOTING AND FLAME! -- Seanan Mcguire

If there was one thing we shared, thanks to our upbringing in an ATI-aware household, it was the knowledge that the sudden smell of mysterious baked goods never meant anything good for anybody. -- Seanan Mcguire

Toby, please stop punching Etienne in the head. It's not helping. -- Seanan Mcguire

Never rush anyone who's personally witnessed continental drift. -- Seanan Mcguire

He's going to be okay," said Quentin. "He has to. He's Tybalt. You'd be all weird and irritating if he wasn't around."
"Weird and irritating?" I raised an eyebrow. "What gives you that idea?"
Quentin shrugged. "That's already how you get when he isn't around. -- Seanan Mcguire

Ever cater a banquet for royalty? . . . Well, don't. It's awful. Just awful. -- Madden -- Seanan Mcguire

And sing along for a few bars before changing it again. By the time we reached the darkened facade of La Maison, I was starting to wonder whether there were any Snow White variants that included killing the Wicked Queen for being too annoying to be allowed to live. -- Seanan Mcguire

Okay, wow. Way to slide in a 'safe driving' PSA when I'm about to risk my life doing stupid shit. -- Seanan Mcguire

The Argentine tango isn't here to play nicely with the other children. The Argentine tango is here to seduce your women, spill things on your rug, and sneak out your bedroom window in the middle of the night. -- Seanan Mcguire

Raj had known, of course; Raj had known who I really was for years. -- Seanan Mcguire

If you didn't think I knew what I know, why are you telling me what you think I didn't know but might have come here looking to find out?" Shelby paused. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure even I understand what I just said. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's always time for tea. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's nothing more stubborn than youth, with the possible exception of old age. -- Seanan Mcguire

Let's go get ready to do something incredibly stupid."
"Business as usual, then," he said, and fled the kitchen, laughing, before I could swat him. -- Seanan Mcguire

Change sucks. No one's going to argue about that. Change is hard and painful and sometimes we wind up losing things we wanted to keep forever. -- Seanan Mcguire

Boring' is not a virtue. -- Seanan Mcguire

He on his way." "Maybe he'll bring a sword." "Maybe he'll bring a tank." I shook my head. "I hate being rescued." "Then why aren't we trying to get to the car?" "Because I hate being eaten even more. -- Seanan Mcguire

We'd already had the discussion about whether or not Jazz was allowed to move in.
I said yes, of course. At least when Jazz is around, May occasionally lets me have the remote control. -- Seanan Mcguire

I had to admire the Evil Dead-level dedication that went into thinking "I'll take a chainsaw into battle against a werewolf," even as I wanted to find out who thought it was a good idea and shake them until they realized the error of their ways. Almost -- Seanan Mcguire

(Krav maga is an Israeli-developed fighting style centered on the idea that when I put you down, you stay down. It's fast, it's brutal, and I love it. Sort of like club dancing with more eye gouging and less grinding.) -- Seanan Mcguire

The part of me that actually cares about being a decent person promptly punched my inner researcher in the jaw and stuffed her in a closet at the back of my head, to be retrieved later. -- Seanan Mcguire

This isn't a place for lies or pretending everything's all right. We know everything is not all right. If it were, you wouldn't be here. Now. Where did you go? -- Seanan Mcguire

Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind. -- Seanan Mcguire

You're like a horoscope in horticulture. -- Seanan Mcguire

Love is love. It's rarer in Faerie than it used to be - rarer than it should be, if you ask me. If you can find it, you should cling to it, and never let anything interfere. Besides, he has a nice ass. -- Seanan Mcguire

The Moors were beautiful in their own way, and if their beauty was the quiet sort that required time and introspection to be seen, well, there was nothing wrong with that. The best beauty was the sort that took some seeking. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's never been any love lost between us, and there probably never will be, but you keep your word and I know that if you say you'll do this for me, you'll do it. Your honor might survive betraying a friend because the friend would forgive you. I wouldn't. -- Seanan Mcguire

Who would come for her?" he snarled, rallying.
Behind me, a voice shouted, "Tybalt, King of Cats. My claim precedes yours. -- Seanan Mcguire

As often as men slam me into things, you'd think I'd get laid more. -- Seanan Mcguire

When I was first writing 'Feed' - which was the first book I published as Mira - I talked about it very openly on my blog, on Twitter, that I was writing this book, and it wasn't until after it was sold that I said 'Mira Grant' wrote this book. And the reason there was really purely marketing-based. -- Seanan Mcguire

The horror and venom that infused her final word was practically visible, dripping from her mouth and running down to the floor like so much poisoned water. -- Seanan Mcguire

What's the point of holding on if I can't save the ones that I can't afford to lose? -- Seanan Mcguire

I have never seen any place on Earth as beautiful, improbable, and beautifully ridiculous as Australia. Whatever god or devil first conceived of the place deserves some sort of award, and possibly a smack in the head. -- Seanan Mcguire

We had left the flea market - collecting Malena from a stall that sold live birds, where she'd purchased a box of pigeons which she had proceeded to suck dry in the car - -- Seanan Mcguire

Lying to you would be a mistreatment of what that love means. -- Seanan Mcguire

No [Peter] Pan has ever survived past puberty. When their bodies start changing, they start looking for the rope and the razor blades. There are some betrayals of the flesh that they simply aren't designed to endure. -- Seanan Mcguire

Just believe me when I say you can't trust anything you read on the Internet until you confirm it. -- Seanan Mcguire

'Feed' is about zombies and politics and blogging. It's about how George Romero actually saved the world! It's 'Night Of The Living Dead' meets 'The West Wing.' -- Seanan Mcguire

Faerie: where it's only a little weird to realize that my boyfriend is older than the internal combustion engine. -- Seanan Mcguire

A cat that looks bored is a cat that's getting ready to pounce. -- Seanan Mcguire

Heroes never listen. That's why they're heroes. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's better to act than it is to react. Acting gets you in trouble. Reacting all too frequently gets you dead. -- Seanan Mcguire

Q: There's this talking frog that says he's a prince. What are the repercussions of cooking it for dinner?
A: There are none. Make sure you bread the whole frog evenly. -- Seanan Mcguire

She's awake!
By which I mean, of course, 'She's miraculously not dead, again,' since by all rights, you should be. Oberon must really love your dumb ass. -- Seanan Mcguire

I am older than you can dream, child. All things are easy to me."
Actually, I doubt that," I said. When there's nowhere left to run, take refuge in cockiness. "I dream some pretty old dreams. -- Seanan Mcguire

Lindworms are a sign of a healthy ecosystem," I said, straightening. "Now let's get out of here before the healthy ecosystem eats us. -- Seanan Mcguire

You're nobody's doorway but your own, and the only one who gets to tell you how your story ends is you. -- Seanan Mcguire

I hate paperwork," announced Andy, looking up from his desk. "How is it that we have a form for 'you got a gingerbread house dropped on your head'? How do we have a job where that's something you'd need a form for?" "There's -- Seanan Mcguire

Huh," I said a moment later. "It's bigger on the inside. -- Seanan Mcguire

All's well that ends with only minor lacerations. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's the nice thing about insanity: evil people kill you, but crazy ones try to make you understand. -- Seanan Mcguire

It's not that I enjoy surprising everyone I know; it's more that I almost never know where I'm going before I actually get there. -- Seanan Mcguire

I really don't think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don't know where it's been. - Enid Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

Sometimes I miss the dark. -- Seanan Mcguire

Pan is neutralized," I said. "I repeat, Pan is neutralized. Sloane showed the kid her tits. I don't know how we're going to write this up for the official report. -- Seanan Mcguire

Even when she slept, she tossed and turned and squirmed, like she was secretly a hurricane forced into a girl-body and told to exist as best she could among people who had no idea what it meant to secretly be a weather pattern. -- Seanan Mcguire

Grandma married him because he was the first man she'd ever met who wasn't affected by her telepathy. This is the sort of thing that Internet dating sites never have a field for. -- Seanan Mcguire

Once upon a fuck, you people, -- Seanan Mcguire

The normally ninety-minute drive from Marin to Muir Woods only took about an hour. -- Seanan Mcguire

Love what you do. Even if it's not what you thought you'd be doing when you were a kid, love what you do. Eventually, it's going to kill you, and it would be a real pity if you died doing something you hate. - Evelyn Baker -- Seanan Mcguire

I'll tell them you're insane but being responsible about it." "Thanks, Alex. -- Seanan Mcguire

Anyone who says the past was perfect is a liar and wasn't there. Everything that thinks can aspire, and everything that aspires wants something better than what they've left behind them. -- Seanan Mcguire

Not that we'd had much opportunity for casual conversation - all our conversations so far had been focused on killing each other, killing something else, or trying not to get ourselves or anybody else killed. -- Seanan Mcguire

No matter how much time we spent together, parts of my world would always be as alien to him as parts of his were to me. That was oddly comforting, and gave me the strength I needed to do what had to be done. "You? -- Seanan Mcguire

It wasn't easy, but like I've always said, if you can't lie to yourself, who can you lie to? The food -- Seanan Mcguire

Be sure you include a gift card for Tim Hortons," he said. "That's how we say 'sorry for killing your firstborn son' in Canada. -- Seanan Mcguire

She's more of a 'standing really still and hoping nothing eats her' sort of girl. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's one thing the Brothers Grimm got very, very wrong: There's no such thing as "ever after." That would require that the story ever end. -- Seanan Mcguire

The trick to doing things people say are impossible is confidence. As long as you seem to know what you're doing, and never hesitate, you're very unlikely to face any challenges. People don't like to break illusions, even when they don't know that's what they're looking at. - Kevin Price -- Seanan Mcguire

There's always time for tea.
Lily -- Seanan Mcguire

By the time 'Buffy' finished its Bay Area theatrical run - including a two-month stint at the dollar theater - I had seen the movie well over three dozen times. I was in love. -- Seanan Mcguire

Grandma Alice insists he's alive, and my mother raised me never to contradict anyone who regularly carries grenades). -- Seanan Mcguire

I've seen that mixture of resignation and hopelessness before; its usually in my mirror. -- Seanan Mcguire

I visit her grave as often as I can. I leave bouquets of rosemary and rue, and I tell her that I'm sorry, and I promise her that next time I'll do better. Next time someone makes me a hero, I'll save them. -- Seanan Mcguire

We don't teach you how to dwell. We also don't teach you how to forget. We teach you how to move on. -- Seanan Mcguire

Better cranky and alive than cheerful and dead. -- Seanan Mcguire

It was like Rhys had ordered the whole thing from Castles R Us, and then never bothered to swing by the local Bed, Battlements, and Beyond for the accessories he'd need to make it believable. -- Seanan Mcguire

When you decide it's time to up the ante on getting into deep shit, you don't mess around, do you? You're just like, hey, what's the worst that can happen? That's the worst that can happen? Great. Let's do that. -- Seanan Mcguire

Have to go see the official housing, but I should be able to sneak out after sunset. Meet you back at our usual spot?" "Ah, yes; I'd missed this phase in our relationship. The intrigue. The subterfuge. The frequent need for tetanus shots." Dominic -- Seanan Mcguire

I eventually grew into a pre-teen Marilyn Munster, that being the only option I could find that allowed for a) blonde hair, b) a fondness for frilly pink things and wearing ribbons in your hair, and c) hanging out with monsters. -- Seanan Mcguire

What just happened?" asked Jeff. "Sloane just yelled at the story until it went away," I said blankly. -- Seanan Mcguire

Nudity. "Hello," she said. "Have you heard the good word of Wadjet, Protector of Egypt and great snake of the Milky Way? -- Seanan Mcguire

You nearly froze to death out there, you haven't been fed since the fall of Rome, and I'm evil. -- Seanan Mcguire

And you shouldn't believe all the press about Ouija boards. They can't be used in an exorcism. Trivial Pursuit can, but that's another story. -- Seanan Mcguire

Whatever it was, it was the size of a cow, and looked like what you'd get if you somehow managed to cross a beaver and a crocodile, looked at the results, and decided what your new monster really needed was a bunch of extra teeth. -- Seanan Mcguire

I feel like a giant Barbie."
"I do not become romantically involved with plastic people," said Tybalt dryly. -- Seanan Mcguire

Everything was going to be perfect. -- Seanan Mcguire

You are truly endearing when you sleep. I attribute this to the exotic nature of seeing you in a state of silence.
- Tybalt -- Seanan Mcguire

The night-haunts never lie. They could, if they wanted to, but they don't really see the point. The truth is so much more dangerous than a lie. -- Seanan Mcguire

When Rome burned, the emperor's cats still expected to be fed on time. -- Seanan Mcguire

Answers are bitter things, and once you get them, they're yours and you can't give them back. Did I want to know badly enough that I was willing to live with whatever answer she gave me?
Toby -- Seanan Mcguire

But sometimes the pieces fall together the way they want to, and you can't change the story; all you can do is try to ride it out. -- Seanan Mcguire

Pronouns are only useful when you combine them with other words. I have a few I can give you, if you're at a loss. -- Seanan Mcguire

Wasn't that the trick, though? Life was one long series of efforts to reach the golden mean, where everything was the way that it was supposed to be. -- Seanan Mcguire

Oh, her? She had raised a hand against us, and willingly entered our circle. We ate her. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm an idiot. All I could do was hope that I wasn't already too late. Sometimes hope is the cruelest joke of all. -- Seanan Mcguire

Yes, that's a brilliant idea. Choose the career path most likely to lead to an early, painful death, and you're sure to find job satisfaction. -- Seanan Mcguire

The second search party did say, lo, we are going this way, and the rest of us did say, yea, though you walk through the hallway that was not on the map, you should fear no evil. -- Seanan Mcguire

In aeternum felicitas vindactio. Defending happily ever after. -- Seanan Mcguire

April frowned, irritation evident.
"I did not consent to your presence," she said peevishly. "Please depart, and attempt your political assassination on someone else's property. -- Seanan Mcguire

There is no fighting in the Library. Anyone who starts a fight or responds to a challenge will be thrown out. You may think you can take me. You're probably right. But none of you can take the Library. -- Seanan Mcguire

The way he said "Prism" left no question about what he meant: it was a proper name, the title of some strange passage, and his voice ached around that single syllable like flesh aches around a knife. -- Seanan Mcguire

Call me paranoid. I'm frequently right. -- Seanan Mcguire

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away. -- Seanan Mcguire

There's something remarkably artificial about a certain type of bureaucratic sterility, like even it can't make up its mind whether or not it actually exists. -- Seanan Mcguire

A pie?" Now she just sounded dubious. "Was it an evil pie?" "Yeah. Yeah, it was. -- Seanan Mcguire

I am a zombie fan, but all of the zombie stories I've enjoyed started when the dead rose and ended three days later with everybody looking exhausted. I was thinking, 'What happens in 20 years?' -- Seanan Mcguire

Pass the dynamite. -- Seanan Mcguire

There is evil in the world. Things might be easier if there wasn't, if good and evil were just concepts men invented to justify themselves; we could ignore them, then. Sadly, good and evil are both very real, and very inconvenient. -- Seanan Mcguire

The history of the human race has been one long quest to find new, novel things, and then kill, eat, or enslave them. There's a reason the aliens haven't made an appearance yet, is what I'm saying. The -- Seanan Mcguire

Humanity has always had a flair for guilt by association. -- Seanan Mcguire

This thing wants to spread, Henry. It wants to get bad enough - " " - to attract a Prince," I finished grimly. "Some opportunistic son of a bitch out to nail a Princess for the sake of a payoff. I hate Princes. The goddamn things are worse than rats. -- Seanan Mcguire

You just walked in on the Holy Feast of I Swear, Daddy, I'll Kiss the Next Man That Walks Through That Door. It was the only way to make them stop." He blinked. "Seriously. -- Seanan Mcguire

Mother Nature is a freaky lady who probably created pot so she could spend all her time smoking it. -- Seanan Mcguire

I've never liked being looked at like I was a hero. I always wind up letting someone down. Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes the only person who gets hurt is me. -- Seanan Mcguire

I looked to Demi. "Save him," I said, half command, half plea. She nodded. "I will," she said, and started playing again. This -- Seanan Mcguire

There's nothing wrong with making a last stand. Just make sure you bring enough grenades to share with the entire class. - Alice Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

Just once, I want to meet the villain in a cheerful, brightly lit room. Possibly one with kittens. -- Seanan Mcguire

FORGIVE OR NOT, AS YOU WILL, AND KNOW ALWAYS THAT YOU ARE A HURRICANE IN THE BODY OF A GIRL, GLORIOUS AND FEARSOME AND WONDERFUL AND CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. -- Seanan Mcguire

This isn't an army marching on the Mists. This isn't a case you have to solve. It's just a bunch of nobles coming to puff their chests out at each other an try to look important. Do what I do. Bring popcorn. -- Seanan Mcguire

What was the point of hide-and-seek if you weren't allowed to dig pit traps or attack your opponents from behind? That -- Seanan Mcguire

Both sides said, "I don't need you," and both answered, "You'll still stay. -- Seanan Mcguire

We're good," said Rose, sounding faintly disgusted. "Get into the digestive tract of the hybrid dead woman. Everything's fine. -- Seanan Mcguire

Writing is bibliophile heroin. -- Seanan Mcguire

May's style was best described as Jem and the Holograms meets Rainbow Brite. -- Seanan Mcguire

A lady is never truly embarrassed. And if she is, a lady is never gauche enough to leave survivors. -- Seanan Mcguire

Me and Death have an agreement, asshole," I said. "He doesn't mess with me, and I don't tear his skeleton nuts off. -- Seanan Mcguire

Never tempt fate. It plays for keeps. -- Seanan Mcguire

You'd challenge me and lose. You know it, I know it, but you'd still do it. Sometimes your sense of honor confuses the hell out of me. -- Seanan Mcguire

Make me, snow-bitch," she said. "Please don't make her," said Andy. "We'll just wind up with two more hours of paperwork if Henry assaults a teammate. -- Seanan Mcguire

Was there a plan here, apart from 'let's all go to the meadow and get turned into confetti by the sheep'? -- Seanan Mcguire

You dead, or I need to hit you again? You know what, fuck it. I'm just going to hit you again. -- Seanan Mcguire

So I guess you've converted him through the power of your naughtiness and flexibility. What are you going to do with him? "Shut up," I hissed. -- Seanan Mcguire

I revised my earlier thought about the risks of dancing. I was looking at a sprained ankle, a few pulled muscles, and maybe a homicide charge if Sasha didn't relax before the end of the rehearsal. -- Seanan Mcguire

Hopefully, anyone who saw a woman riding a screaming mermaid in a wheelchair down Leavenworth at a quarter to five in the morning would just think they'd had too much to drink. -- Seanan Mcguire

If you offered me the chance to do it all over, knowing what I know now, after the things I've seen ... I'd shoot you in the head. That ain't the kind of thing you ask a lady. - Frances Brown -- Seanan Mcguire

The best thing you can ever do for the people who love you is to make it home alive. -- Seanan Mcguire

Try to be careful, okay? You're the only niece I'm actually speaking to these days. I'm not in the mood to see you dead. -- Seanan Mcguire

You know what, honey? You're right. It's time to change my approach. Can you give me one of those nice concussion grenades? -- Seanan Mcguire

It was the kind of voice that made me want to confess my sins and admit that everything in my life was my own fault. -- Seanan Mcguire

Faeries are real. Magic is real. My tendency to greet dangerous situations by plunging in headfirst and seeing how long it takes to get myself covered head to toe in blood is also real. -- Seanan Mcguire

This is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea. Let's try it and see what happens. -- Seanan Mcguire

If people wanted to talk to me from a million miles away, that was their problem, not mine. -- Seanan Mcguire

Honey, if you're telling me David Bowie is somewhere in this maze, I may forget that I'm a married man," said Andy, and followed Carlos into the wall. That -- Seanan Mcguire

The problem with people who say monsters don't really exist is that they're almost never saying it to the monsters. - Alice Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

Going to straight-up fucking murder you, and drink a latte out of your skull." "You forgot to mention poison," I said, taking -- Seanan Mcguire

They are as intelligent as their shapeshifting mates, because smart sharks is exactly what the ocean needed. -- Seanan Mcguire

Crazy gets all the knives. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm sorry to go, but its alright. Rivers dry up; tides ebb; the sea goes on. -- Seanan Mcguire

Rules only matter if everyone understands them, agrees to them, and can be trusted not to break them. Bearing these irrefutable facts in mind, rules never matter at all. -- Seanan Mcguire

I like profanity - it's practically my mother tongue - but I try to use words that insult without demeaning, when I can. -- Seanan Mcguire

I kissed her like she was my Annabel Lee, and in some ways, in some places in my heart, I think that I'm kissing her still. -- Seanan Mcguire

I only looked when I was sure he couldn't see me. Some games are too dangerous to play. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's the nature of stories. No one ever gets to know the entire thing. We just get to know the parts we have to deal with right here, right now. Before they rip our throats out. -- Seanan Mcguire

I just feel like we're starting to interfere on a level that's sort of ... extreme." "But that's what heroes do. -- Seanan Mcguire

I just wasn't sure it was a good idea to approach heroing the way I'd always approached detecting. Can you really shake the world until justice falls out? -- Seanan Mcguire

When in doubt, play dead. Well, unless you might be dealing with a ghoul, or a basilisk, or something else that likes its meat a little ripe. Actually, when in doubt, just start shooting. - Alice Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

The apartment was decorated in pinks, ranging from a deep shade bordering on red to a pale, near-white cream. Her blood probably fit right in until it started drying to an ugly shade of brown. -- Seanan Mcguire

As I try never to argue with death omens.
Tybalt -- Seanan Mcguire

Hell hath no fury like a centuries-old organisation of zealots scorned. -- Seanan Mcguire

Can we all say 'yay, we waved our dicks around,' and eat our damn dinner already?"
"I think I like your sister," I murmured.
"Don't worry, she doesn't like you," Shelby murmured back. -- Seanan Mcguire

These are friendly people," I said, bending to begin work on his ankles. "Remind me to hit them a lot if I get the chance. -- Seanan Mcguire

She was a story, not an epilogue. -- Seanan Mcguire

Everything's a haunted house in today's America. Everything's in need of an exorcism. -- Seanan Mcguire

Verity didn't mind bogeymen - they were pretty nice, mostly, if you didn't let them talk you into doing anything you weren't supposed to do - but -- Seanan Mcguire

Let's go commit some senseless acts of science. -- Seanan Mcguire

Never invite a death omen to a murder party. -- Seanan Mcguire

For is it not said That Girl Knows No Fear, and Dammit, Fran, She's Going To Get Herself Et, and This Is From Your Side Of The Family, Jonathan, No One In My Family Has Ever Hugged A Basilisk Before? -- Seanan Mcguire

Truly, you are as generous as you are violent. -- Seanan Mcguire

Parents don't always like to admit that things have changed. They want the world to be exactly the way it was before their children went away on these life-changing adventures, and when the world doesn't oblige, they try to force it into the boxes they build for us. -- Seanan Mcguire

Etienne gave me lessons. Three of them. Then he said I was a menace and refused to teach me anything more for fear that I'd slice his head off. -- Seanan Mcguire

Then he looked back to me, and smiled. It was a terrible expression, filled with edges, and with knives. -- Seanan Mcguire

I am an archivist. I am a librarian. I collect words because words are the truest and longest-lasting craft in the world. -- Seanan Mcguire

Death was precious. That didn't change the fact that life was limited. -- Seanan Mcguire

If something happened to Gillian, I'd rip the world down to save her, even if she spat in my face when I did. That's what parenthood means. -- Seanan Mcguire

I have a talent for complicating situations, I said. -- Seanan Mcguire

The look she leveled on him was pure aunt. -- Seanan Mcguire

We notice the silence of men. We depend upon the silence of women. -- Seanan Mcguire

The family stayed put for a few years, largely due to issues involving a contract with a demon, an open dimensional rift, and preschool, -- Seanan Mcguire

How many weapons are you carrying? I'm beginning to think you have an entire armory in your bag." "Don't start with the flattery. How -- Seanan Mcguire

Sure. If she gets mugged, she can just flute them to death. -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm a cat. We aren't required to make sense. -- Seanan Mcguire

Hey!" I turned, crossing my arms and glaring. "I was talking to him!"
Tybalt eyed me with amusement, which just made me glare harder. "No, you were inciting him to stab you with a toothpick. Again, the difference is small, but I think it matters. -- Seanan Mcguire

I watch him go, and wonder if being good isn't its own punishment as much as it's supposed to be its own reward. -- Seanan Mcguire

You know, just once, I want a beautiful woman to exploit me for something other than my magic and dangerous political connections. -- Seanan Mcguire

Whoever was responsible for naming the fae races should really have put more thought into making them pronounceable when drunk. -- Seanan Mcguire

You know you're supposed to call before you go running off to your certain death!" "I don't remember that rule." I -- Seanan Mcguire

I'm a lot of things, but rational where the people I love are concerned has never been one of them. -- Seanan Mcguire

ALL GLORY TO THE SCIENCE RULES OF SCIENCE! -- Seanan Mcguire

Now, if you will excuse me, a dead woman is trying to convince me to drink something that comes in layers. -- Seanan Mcguire

Tell me what you know."
"I'm awake and you're not pancakes. -- Seanan Mcguire

We went down, and at the bottom there was a door, and on the door there was a sign. Two words. BE SURE. Sure of what? We were twelve, we weren't sure of anything. -- Seanan Mcguire

I think the rules where different there. It was all about science, but the science was magical. It didn't care about whether something could be done. It was about whether it should be done, and the answer was always, always yes. -- Seanan Mcguire

The trouble with wanting to do the right thing is that frequently the right thing today is the wrong thing for tomorrow, or the wrong thing for the people who are standing between you and your perfect, platonic future. -- Seanan Mcguire

She considers pit traps and high explosives the appropriate solution to almost every problem. -- Seanan Mcguire

The hour was growing nigh for crustacean vengeance. -- Seanan Mcguire

Some things we have to hide from science, waiting for the day when people will be ready to deal with the idea of talking mice or fish with fur. Other things science hides from itself, because no one really wants the night to be dark and filled with monsters. That era has passed. -- Seanan Mcguire

If anyone was going to get themselves murdered to guarantee they would remain the center of attention, it would be him. -- Seanan Mcguire

Walking into danger with your eyes open and your mind clear is a sign of bravery, not foolishness. Well, sometimes foolishness. But as long as you walk back out again, you can pretend that part doesn't matter. -- Seanan Mcguire

The greatest joy is the joy of discovery. Followed closely by the joy of a discovery that doesn't kill you. - Enid Healy -- Seanan Mcguire

Children's games are stronger than you remember once you've grown up and left them behind. They're always fair, and never kind. -- Seanan Mcguire

Being a King sort of sucks," I said.
Quentin wrinkled his nose, "So does your outfit."
"Blood is in this season. -- Seanan Mcguire

Running through an unfamiliar forest filled with thorns is half an exercise in masochism, and half an obstacle course from the deepest reaches of Hell. -- Seanan Mcguire

Nobody gets to tell me how my story ends but me, she thought, and the words were true enough that she repeated them aloud: "Nobody gets to tell me how my story ends but me. -- Seanan Mcguire

(Technically, that meant the roof wasn't accessible, since most people don't view "climbing straight up the side of the building" as an option. Most people are silly.) -- Seanan Mcguire

This was always the difficult part, back when she'd been at her old school: explaining that "asexual" and "aromantic" were different things. -- Seanan Mcguire

He shrugged. "You got out of bed. The universe does seem to take that as a personal affront." The -- Seanan Mcguire

There's a reason you were all pulled into worlds that suited you so well. Imagine, for a moment, if you'd fallen into the world described by your neighbor instead. -- Seanan Mcguire

It gets better. It never gets easy, but it does start to hurt a little less. -- Seanan Mcguire

Dramatic exits are the last refuge of the infantile personality -- Seanan Mcguire

The laws of physics have already been violated. What happens if they decide to press charges? -- Seanan Mcguire

The bedroom was as opulently decorated as the front room, with a bed large enough to hold six, and a wardrobe that should by all rights have contained a doorway to Narnia, or at least the deeper lands of Faerie. -- Seanan Mcguire

You insinuated yourself into my heart like a worm into an apple, and I am consumed by you. -- Seanan Mcguire

I hate that you make me be a monster for you, -- Seanan Mcguire

She could have flirted forever. It was just the things that came after flirting that she had no interest in. -- Seanan Mcguire

Don't underestimate him just because he's a fool, -- Seanan Mcguire

We have to burn brightly. We can't burn forever -- Seanan Mcguire

The petty-minded fools here think surgery and butchery are the same thing. -- Seanan Mcguire

At least that would be a new disgusting swamp experience, instead of a disgusting swamp experience I'd already had several times that day. -- Seanan Mcguire

The mountain was as powerful as the tide, just...in a different way. -- Seanan Mcguire

Love you can spend like currency isn't really love. -- Seanan Mcguire

Changing clothes in a public restroom is an acquired skill, one that becomes an art when the bathroom floor hasn't been washed in a decade or more. -- Seanan Mcguire

That's because the worlds we experienced barely seemed to match up, despite being the same place. -- Seanan Mcguire

Sloane slipped into the room the way a knife slips into a wound: silently, and with the potential to do a lot of damage to anything that happened to get in her way. -- Seanan Mcguire

I don't like parties. Someone always tries to assassinate someone I actually like, and there are never enough of those little stuffed mushroom caps. -- Seanan Mcguire

Well, that's not something you see every day. Go tell your father that Grandma needs the grenades. -- Seanan Mcguire

Boring' is not a virtue.
-May -- Seanan Mcguire

In my defense, the corpse was entirely unexpected. -- Seanan Mcguire

Try your best. That's always been good enough for the people who love you. -- Seanan Mcguire

See, Quentin, that's why you should wear a cup before trying to assassinate someone. -- Seanan Mcguire

I might regret my promises, but I keep them. -- Seanan Mcguire

I have a swizzle stick shaped like a little monkey," announced Rose. "Let's help the dead man with his problem. -- Seanan Mcguire