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Except he and I know that some pain burrows so deep, no narcotic can ever soothe it. It's etched on your bones. It hides in your marrow, like cancer. If the boy survives, the pain is a memory he won't want. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
While there are memories I wish I could dispose of, sometimes my memories are the only things that keep me sane. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I hate Jesse for leaving me behind. If he asked, I would have walked into the air with him. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
You believe no one is watching because it helps you sleep at night, but someone is always watching. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I'm not sure if the Bible is a real book written by God or just a collection of stories for people who need help putting their hearts back together, but it's comforting, and I try not to think about it. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
We may not get to choose how we die, but we can chose how we live.
The universe may forget us, but it doesn't matter. Because we are the ants, and we'll keep marching on. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Because you can only die once but you can suffer forever. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Dreams are hopeful because they exist as pure possibility. Unlike memories, which are fossils, long dead and buried deep. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
How ugly we must look to them, spilling light into every dark corner to push back the shadows, blinding ourselves to the true beauty of emptiness. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Don't get so focused on where you're going that you forget the people you're travelling with. There's no point reaching a destination if you arrive alone. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
We aren't just defined by who we are, but by who are friends are. It's funny that we put so much importance on something that wont mean shit once we graduate. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Maybe love doesn't require falling after all. Maybe it only requires that you choose to be in it. I wasn't sure what was going to happen with us or how much time we had left, but I wasn't going to waste a second of it. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
We are merely pieces of a grander design, even more insignificant than I imagined. When the earth ceases to be, all those stars will shine on. Our deaths will mean nothing to them. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
What if I don't give a shit about the world?"
"I'd say that's pretty fucking sad."
"Why?"
"Because the world is so beautiful. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Having choices is the problem. Everything would be easier if someone told me what to do: push the button, stop seeing Marcus, get over Jesse. The problem with choices is that I usually make the wrong ones -- Shaun David Hutchinson
But two people can love each other and still not belong together, even if neither of them wanted to admit it. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I know," I say, slapping the ash off my palm. The words rush from my mouth before she says them. It's easier to hear it in my own voice. "I ruined your body. Killed your husband. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
They want to believe, but there are too many villains in the world and not enough heroes for anyone to truly buy into the scam that is hope. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I like people, not the parts they have." Diego frowned. "Well, I mean, I definitely like the parts; they're just not why I like the person. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Popularity is teenage heroin. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
And I stood there and took it because I was an object. We were all objects to Marcus McCoy. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I was diamond on the outside, and I would not break.
Inside, though, I was already broken. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
If you can't paint yourself honestly, everything else you paint will be a lie too."
- Diego -- Shaun David Hutchinson
It's like his parents are funneling years of their lives into Rusty so he'll get well sooner. But I think if that were possible, more children who got hurt would end up as orphans. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Depression isn't a war you win. It's a battle you fight every day. You never stop, never get to rest. It's one bloody fray after another. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Chaos is an excuse for people who don't have the patience to see the patterns. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Bonding over illegal drugs hadn't magically solved our problems, -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I saw the world from the stars' point of view, and it looked unbearably lonely. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
It's a date."
"It's a cookie."
"It's a cookie date. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
We're not words, Henry, we're people.
Words are how others define us, but we can define ourselves any way we choose. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
History is just a way of keeping score, but it doesn't have to be who we are. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Why do people who so obviously hate children have so many of them? Audrey asked...Because they hate everyone else more. Their bratty kids are their revenge on a society that has denied them the riches they so rightly deserve. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Milkshakes make the world seem less shitty. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Just the perfect peace of nothingness. That's what I believed. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I realize that adults are just as fucked as the rest of us. No one really grows up. No one unravels all of life's many mysteries. They just grow older and become better liars. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Hospital walls have no memory. They would crumble under the weight of so much suffering. It's better that they forget. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Feelings are intangible," he said. "You can't see them, can't touch them. You can hurt and no one would know. But physical pain is real. You can see blood and broken bones. It's simple in a way feelings are not, and cutting makes the abstract pain of feelings substantial. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Jesse believed stories were the collective memories of the world, recorded in books so that each of us could know who we were before we became who we are. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
As human beings, we're born believing that we are the apex of creation, that we are invincible, that no problem exists that we cannot solve. But we inevitably die with all our beliefs broken. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
The farther we are from one another, the further we live in each other's pasts -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Grief is an ocean, and guilt the undertow that pulls me beneath the waves and drowns me. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Like, if people shined, some would shine brighter. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Why me?"
"Because I can be myself around you, even if I don't know who I am yet. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
We remember the past, live in the present, and write the future. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Because there's no way that anyone would give up on a child in less time than it takes to microwave popcorn. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
No doesn't mean to Marcus what it means to those without money and a car. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Your entire sense of self-worth is predicated upon your belief that you matter, that you matter to the universe. But you don't. Because we are the ants. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
That's the problem with memories: you can visit them, but you can't live in them. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
This was how Diego saw me. I was Henry Denton and I was Space Boy. I was broken and I was beautiful. I was nothing and I was everything. I didn't matter to the universe, but I mattered to him. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I felt as if each person within visual range were slowly draining the life from me. We were all connected, and the more them there were, the more I wanted to crawl under a table and cry. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Sometimes I think of myself as a savior of the lost, a caretaker to the found. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Sometimes I think gravity may be death in disguise. Other times I think gravity is love, which is why love's only demand is that we fall. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I didn't even need to check my phone to know that the universe had shrunk again, and the stars had vanished.
No. They hadn't vanished. I'd given them away to someone who hadn't deserved them, and I'd never get them back. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
If you're ready," I say, wiping my eyes while he blows his nose, "we should head to the funeral home. Do you think they allow dogs in there? -- Shaun David Hutchinson
There's an amazing world out there for you to discover, Henry Denton, but you have to be willing to discover yourself first. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
The funny thing is,' Calvin said, 'I thought I'd been breathing underwater this whole time, but I guess I've been drowning. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
If death can cry, maybe we all have a chance for redemption. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
As human beings, we seek meaning in everything. We're so good at discovering patterns that we see them where they don't exist. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
He didn't kill himself because of a single overwhelming problem; he died from a thousand tiny wounds. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
She's the gristle stuck between Time's teeth, and I love her for it. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Maybe the only way to really start over is to tear everything apart. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Because sometimes it's easier to start over with a clean slate than to drag the baggage of your past with you wherever you go. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Nobody wins playing fair. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Age isn't stealing from my grandmother; it's slowly unwinding her. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
The universe is more than thirteen billion years old. What is the value of a single kiss compared to that? -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Making out with Marcus had always felt like a race to the finish line, but with Diego I felt like I'd already won. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Sometimes I feel like I'm floating alone in the ocean. Other times I feel like the ocean's in a paper cup. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
I could write my name across the sky, and it would be in invisible ink. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
To him, I am the cheap pair of sunglasses you buy on vacation because you know you won't care if you break or lose them -- Shaun David Hutchinson
A couple of customers interrupted [...] who wanted to know if we had some YA book about ants and aliens I'd never heard of. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
A star's light still shines even if there's no one to see it, but without someone to remember Jesse, his light will disappear. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
It happens in the dark space between blinks, in the void between breaths. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Diego looked at me and saw me. No one had seen me since Jesse. -- Shaun David Hutchinson
Words are how others define us, but we can define ourselves any way we choose." I -- Shaun David Hutchinson