Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Tara Sivec, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Tara Sivec quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 167 Tara Sivec quotes for you to read and share.

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I would do anything for him, even if it meant sacrificing something of myself. -- Tara Sivec
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It wouldn't be weird at all if I just walked up to her and ran my tongue across her shoulder, would it? I could tell her she had a piece of food there or something. Totally normal. -- Tara Sivec
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People in your life will let you down sometimes. It's a fact of life. What matters is how you handle it. -- Tara Sivec
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Absence makes the dick grow fonder, isn't that what they say? -- Tara Sivec
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Ava is like a praying mantis on crack. She will not only chew off his head after she has sex with him, she will have sex with his headless body afterwards and then light it on fire. -- Tara Sivec
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Mommy and Daddy make a lot of noise when they kiss. Mommy talks to God a lot. I talk to God sometimes too. I asked him for a puppy and a new monster truck but I was nice and didn't yell at him like Mommy does. He still hasn't gotten me the puppy though. -- Tara Sivec
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I turned around to see Jim standing in the aisle with a smirk and a box of tampons in his hand.
Very funny asshole. Looks like you're on the rag this week. Make sure to get yourself some Midol and a copy of Terms of Endearment so you can have yourself a good cry. -- Tara Sivec
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I don't blame her for walking away; I shoved her out the door and told her to go. I should have realized that she was my light. She was everything bright and beautiful about my life and it went to shit after she left. I'm going to fix this. I have to fix this. -- Tara Sivec
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The mind is a great and powerful thing, bisected with hallways of darkness and corners of light. Memories can alternately fill your life with joy and happiness and cloud every moment with nightmares and fear, making you second-guess all of the good things and wonder if they were ever real. -- Tara Sivec
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It's my fucking business when I've had my face buried between your thighs and can still taste you on my tongue. -- Tara Sivec
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I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this table could stop talking about vibrators. -- Tara Sivec
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You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, Garrett joked. -- Tara Sivec
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It's going down, and it's going down right the fuck now. I don't care if there is a room full of witnesses -- Tara Sivec
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They pray so much I can almost imagine Jesus himself sitting up there on a white puffy cloud saying, "Oh for the love of my dad, shut the fuck up already. I heard you the first eleven times. -- Tara Sivec
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You're probably also wondering how in the hell I can possibly be twenty-five years old when just yesterday I was four. I know, it's a tough pill to swallow. I'm not a foul-mouthed, cute little kid anymore. I'm now a foul-mouthed, cute adult. -- Tara Sivec
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Someday, down the line, I'm going to marry you by that lighthouse. We'll just renew our vows or something, I tell her. -- Tara Sivec
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I brought pot mistletoe for you guys to kiss and make up under! -- Tara Sivec
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I just wanted to hear him speak again. His voice made me want to take my pants off. -- Tara Sivec
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Really? Because I recall you asking the Elvis impersonator at your Vegas wedding if he could add a line to Jenny's vows that said, 'I promise to always give blow jobs with a smile on my face and love in my heart, -- Tara Sivec
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I don't give a rat's ass what Garrett's favorite color is. And for the record, I have a vagina, so I'm well aware of the fact I can look hot without looking slutty. -- Tara Sivec
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I don't even get the term, "the birds and the bees".
How does that properly teach a kid about sex? You never see a pigeon railing a
dove or a honey bee sticking it to a bumble bee. -- Tara Sivec
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She's calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy's house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that's who. She's got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she's going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter! -- Tara Sivec
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When you've been hurt once, it's so hard to let go and not be afraid you won't be hurt again. -- Tara Sivec
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It's Life. It's the bumps and the bruises, the pain and the fear; it's messy and it's real and it's not some perfect little story that can be tied up in a bow. -- Tara Sivec
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I don't care if my mind is completely gone and I'm so fucked up in the head that I'm imagining this. I'll stay a fucked up mess the rest of my life if I can have her lips on mine and it can feel this real. -- Tara Sivec
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This is supposed to be a surprise - a huge, life-changing surprise that could make or break our future. Or my kneecaps if George decides he really does hate me. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm scared because I love you so much sometimes it's hard to breathe. -- Tara Sivec
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I don't deserve her forgiveness. I never deserved her to begin with, so now she'll be free to find security and happiness without having to worry about the broken man she married who can never be fixed. -- Tara Sivec
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This is what you do to me, Layla. Every second I'm with within a hundred yards of you, I'm rockhard. -- Tara Sivec
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I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis's voice like in Look Who's Talking. Come on! Swim faster! This little shit has no idea we escaped from the condom! Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! -- Tara Sivec
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I gained fifty-six pounds when I was pregnant with him. Do you have any idea what it's like to look down and not be able to see your vagina?"
"Uh, no," I muttered.
"My ass had its own zip code. -- Tara Sivec
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visions of just how he plans on being a better boyfriend taking over my dreams instead of dancing sugar plums. -- Tara Sivec
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Who keeps putting alcohol in my alcohol? -- Tara Sivec
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Oh, sweetie, you are a jackass. I love you, but you are dumber than a one legged duck in an ass kicking contest when pigs fly. -- Tara Sivec
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Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus. -- Tara Sivec
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I hope his penis falls off. I hope it rots and falls off inside of Miss Teen USA, therefore causing her perfect, twenty-two-year-old vagina to rot and fall out of her thong when she sneezes. -- Tara Sivec
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A few seconds of silence lapse, and I knew Carter was waiting for me to mention the huge "I'm pregnant" elephant in the room. Fuck that elephant! he can just sit there in the corner eating peanuts and shitting on the tile while giving me looks of disgust. -- Tara Sivec
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It's easy fixing other people's problems. It's my own that can suck it. -- Tara Sivec
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I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe. I didn't know much, but I did know the rules about owning a dick. Rule number one: It should never bleed. Rule number two: There was no rule number two. IT SHOULD NEVER BLEED. -- Tara Sivec
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He wanted to drown in her and shout at the top of his lungs that she was his. It was always her, only her. -- Tara Sivec
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If you two yentas are finished discussing Claire's rabid who-ha, me and the boys would like to eat sometime this century."
"You and 'the boys?' You just met them today. Does the Ya Ya Brotherhood already have a secret handshake and a password?" Liz joked. -- Tara Sivec
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It's easy to forgive someone for the hurt they've caused you. Forgetting is impossible. -- Tara Sivec
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Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder. Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk. -- Tara Sivec
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It's never too late to live your dreams. You just have to want them enough to make them come true." Collin -- Tara Sivec
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I had the phone in my hand all set to dial when Drew had finally decided to tell me that he pooped in the litter box a few times to see what it was like. -- Tara Sivec
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And all of it was a prime example of why I wasn't jumping on board the marriage band wagon just yet. My dad had struck out three times and my mom twice when she had finally decided marriage wasn't for her when I was twelve and packed up to get a condo in the city. -- Tara Sivec
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Don't you ever forget that, hummingbird. You can go anywhere you want to go, be anything you want to be. Play because you love it and for no other reason. The day you stop loving it is the day it becomes a job. Making music should never be a job. -- Tara Sivec
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I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit? -- Tara Sivec
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Granted, she was obviously one window lick away from riding the short bus, but that knowledge did nothing to ease my mind. -- Tara Sivec
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In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn't my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of crying children in line to see Santa why my kid was screaming 'DON'T GO NEAR HIM! HE'LL EAT YOUR FINGERS!' was no picnic. -- Tara Sivec
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I never should have left you. I'll never stop loving you, even if you hate me for walking away. -- Tara Sivec
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I DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE GREEN EGGS! -- Tara Sivec
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I want to marry Mommy. We'll kiss and we'll marry and I'll take her on dates and we'll be best friends forever and make lots of phone calls with each other. -- Tara Sivec
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There's nothing more sensual than watching a man struggle to keep himself in check when he's looking at you. -- Tara Sivec
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If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance. -- Tara Sivec
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It's okay, my penis is not offended in the least that it just made you throw up -- Tara Sivec
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If you ramble enough, people will think what you're saying is true, right? -- Tara Sivec
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I'm not scared because I can't give you my love in return, I'm scared because I love you so much sometimes it's hard to breathe."
[ ... ]
"Everything I have to give, it's yours. It's always been yours. -- Tara Sivec
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My father had bought him a shirt
that said Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic,
have you seen my shotgun? -- Tara Sivec
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Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed to be thinking about twice baked potatoes all this time? Is this where I went wrong? Are grown men supposed to have an opinion about twice baked potatoes? -- Tara Sivec
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I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a present with a nice card that says, Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show you may gratitude! -- Tara Sivec
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I'm gonna make like a fetus and head out. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm not going to hold my breast for another invitiation - Jenny -- Tara Sivec
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I'd rather be a complete mess with you than spend another day shattered all over the floor alone. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm going to kick down that fucking door at the end of the long, dark hallway and show everyone that I deserve the light. -- Tara Sivec
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Why the hell is he standing there looking so God damned hot that I want to mount his face. -- Tara Sivec
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I love my best friends, but sometimes, I want to punch them in the face. Lovingly, of course. -- Tara Sivec
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To get to the good, sometimes you have to live through the bad. -- Tara Sivec
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But if you were given the chance to go back, to tell the truth instead of lie to save someone's life and their feelings ... would you? -- Tara Sivec
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Who are you?" I asked the kid with my eyes when I finally found my voice.
"I'm Gavin Morgan, who the hell are you? -- Tara Sivec
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Getting a group of rowdy, blue-collar workers together in one room and putting in a tape that shows a guy in a leisure suit putting his hand on his secretary's ass and you've got complete and total anarchy, ladies and gentleman. -- Tara Sivec
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He looks at you like you're the key to his soul and like he wants to devour you. -- Tara Sivec
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Son of a bitch, Kenny G! You put everyone to sleep but my son. The ONE thing you had going for you and now it's gone to shit. -- Tara Sivec
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Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina. -- Tara Sivec
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Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener," Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
"Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately" Carter muttered. -- Tara Sivec
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Instead I'm worried about my son being led astray by a harlot. A harlot named Brooklyn. Her parents probably named her that because skank was too obvious even though they know what her future career would be. -- Tara Sivec
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No one likes an ugly crier. It's uncomfortable for all parties involved. -- Tara Sivec
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I feel like I'm in The Crying Game right now, Dad mutters with a sad shake of his head. -- Tara Sivec
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Could you stand still please?' Sylvia says in an irritated voice. If she had sweaty balls and an almost-boner she wouldn't be so judgmental. Am I right, or am I right? -- Tara Sivec
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Wow, I'm surprised you remembered. When you left the bar you were crying and singing at the top of your lungs ' I got ninety-nine problems and the bitch is all of them. -- Tara Sivec
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It's mind-blowing and delicious and better
than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at
the end of a rainbow. -- Tara Sivec
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So, this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down ... no, seriously, it is. Stop singing, you heartless bastards. I'm -- Tara Sivec
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You wouldn't know what the fuck to do in a dangerous situation if your life depended on it. And it would, little one. -- Tara Sivec
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I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn't even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get drunk and look like a stroke victim. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm not a gynecologist but I'll take a look. -- Tara Sivec
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I know I'm done for when it comes to this woman. She's gotten under my skin, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to remove her. -- Tara Sivec
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Granted, she was obviously one lick away from riding the short bus -- Tara Sivec
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Why the fuck didn't anyone tell me that four-year-olds get woodys? I am not equipped to deal with this shit, Liz. -- Tara Sivec
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You know what happens when you assume things?"
I left out a sigh. "You make an ass out of you and me."
...
"No, you just make an ass out of you. Me, I would never be this assy -- Tara Sivec
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How many people get a second chance at love with the only person they've ever held in their heart? -- Tara Sivec
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I can't do this without her, Liz, I can't. Every part of my life is wrapped up in her. She's my wife, -- Tara Sivec
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This is where my story begins. Or ends. I can never really decide. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining my perfect moment? I will cut a bitch. -- Tara Sivec
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Oh Sweet Jesus. Sweet mother fucking fuckery of fucks. -- Tara Sivec
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You make everything perfect, Lucy. You're my light and my life and all I need is your love to guide me home, no matter where I go. -- Tara Sivec
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I love you more than a hooker loves free VD testing day at the clinic -- Tara Sivec
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Loving you meant loving every part of you, the good and the bad, the easy and the hard. -- Tara Sivec
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Will you stop calling it 'stalking'? That's such a harsh term. I prefer 'anonymous following. -- Tara Sivec
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You spidermanned the one you love. -- Tara Sivec
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Oh shit, the jig is up! HIDE THE COOKIES! -- Tara Sivec
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It's fucking Meerkat Manor in my pants. -- Tara Sivec
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Anal is pretty much the sexual duct tape of the world- it fixes everything.
I should put that on a t-shirt. -- Tara Sivec
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He was so pretty I wanted to frame him and put him on my nightstand in a totally non-creepy, non-Hannibal Lector skin-suit-wearing kind of way. -- Tara Sivec
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I shouldn't be allowed to think when I'm drinking. -- Tara Sivec
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As I recall, Drew made me take him to see a voodoo priestess he found in the yellow pages that week because he said the friend put a hex on his penis. For two weeks he slept with a two-pound package of boneless, skinless chicken breasts on his junk since he refused to sacrifice a live chicken. -- Tara Sivec
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Oh, dear. He's a pimp and he's stupid, this is not good," Bev mutters. "Leon, leave it to you to find the only stupid pimp in Seattle. -- Tara Sivec
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London Bridge is in Arizona? When the fuck did this happen? Does London know about this? The queen has got to be pissed -- Tara Sivec
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YOU ARE BOTH DEAD TO ME!" I shout.
"Then this is me, speaking from beyond the grave when I remind you to trim your bush while you're at it. No man needs to choke on a hairball!" Beattie yells back from down the hall. -- Tara Sivec
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I roofied you because I wanted you naked ... and afraid, Tyler says again in a sinister voice -- Tara Sivec
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Water? At a wedding? I don't understand," he asks in confusion. "Did you invite Jesus? That's the only way that will be acceptable. -- Tara Sivec
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Pussy punch: when a twat tap just isn't enough -- Tara Sivec
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- I'm so happy for you, Ellie - I tell her honestly.
- I'm happy for me, too - she tells me with another laugh. -- Tara Sivec
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They aren't skanks and they aren't stupid. I prefer to call them 'scantily-clad ladies with limited vocabulary. -- Tara Sivec
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I never intended to be away from school that long, but I also never intended on a baby completely fucking up my life. Er, I mean, bringing me years of great joy. -- Tara Sivec
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God said "Let there be light" and George morgan flipped the switch. -- Tara Sivec
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I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you. -- Tara Sivec
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Yes, the answer is yes! If he keeps talking to me like that he can stick it in my ear. -- Tara Sivec
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When you were little and you were afraid of the boogey man, getting under the covers meant he couldn't see you or grab your foot while you were sleeping. True story. I figured the same rules applied with dead people watching you masturbate. -- Tara Sivec
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My dick instantly springs to life inside my jeans. I can't help it. When Lucy gets fired up, I get turned on. It's like some Pavlov's dog shit. -- Tara Sivec
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Dude, you've been fingering that box in your pocket all this time? I thought you had crabs or something. I was going to let you borrow my cream. -- Tara Sivec
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Um, tequila please?" I asked questioningly, enunciating each word as best as my drunken mouth would allow. So really, it came out as "Uff, shakira pea? -- Tara Sivec
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I'm sorry I went away, but I DID find my way back to you and I'm never fucking leaving again." ... "It's always been you. It will ALWAYS, only be you, -- Tara Sivec
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Your tits are like Bounty. The quicker dick picker upper. -- Tara Sivec
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I should ask her to marry me now. If I do it while she's coming, she probably won't be able to say no. It would be physically impossible. Like performing a sex exorist. THE POWER OF THE ORGASM COMPELS YOU! -- Tara Sivec
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I love both of you exactly the way you are. I love that you have no filter, and I adore that Gavin can make grown men cry. There is not one thing I would change about either of you, and if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss my ass. You guys are my life and my family now. Nothing else matters. -- Tara Sivec
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I love the way you look at me. I love the way you love me. No matter what, I will always find my way back to you, -- Tara Sivec
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Moving a safe distance away from her, I curse Dominic the mother fucking donkey. -- Tara Sivec
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It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth -- Tara Sivec
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After the epidural was firmly in place, I double checked that we had a waiver on file that states we would own the hospital should my wife become paralyzed. If I was going to feed her mashed peas and wipe her ass until we die, I wanted to be rich. -- Tara Sivec
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Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with F**k Her Hard and be done with it? -- Tara Sivec
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His voice made me want to take my pants off.
Claire -- Tara Sivec
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I'm going to remind her why we're perfect for each other. I'm going to show her that there's no one else on this earth that can love her like I can. -- Tara Sivec
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Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, -- Tara Sivec
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Another good thing about Legos(LIFE). If it falls apart, it doesn't mean it's destroyed. It just means you have to pick up the pieces and start again. -- Tara Sivec
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Death changes everyone ... It changes the way you think, the way you feel, and the way you live your life. Sometimes it makes you thankful for what you have, but more often than not, it makes you regret what you've lost. -- Tara Sivec
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Then you have the people who believe your flippancy is due to some deep, dark, secret issue with your uterus that you're overcompensating for, and they look at you and your va**na with pity. -- Tara Sivec
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Spitters are Quitters -- Tara Sivec
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Mortification, party of one, your table is now ready. -- Tara Sivec
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Hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper being opened. Jesus, does he keep those things in his pajamas? Should I be offended that he assumed we'd fuck this morning and grabbed one for the road or just thankful that he's resourceful? -- Tara Sivec
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He picks up one of the tests and pretends like he's Harry Potter, aiming the test at random objects around the small bathroom yelling, I curse you with my magic wand, punk toilet paper! -- Tara Sivec
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I quickly tried to do the math but my brain was a jumbled mess and I couldn't remember what number comes after potato! -- Tara Sivec
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You are always the light in my darkness. You're the reason I'm alive, you're the reason I'm here and you're the reason I breathe, every day. -- Tara Sivec
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Yes, and in just a few minutes, a dIck will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and a weed whacker. -- Tara Sivec
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out on a limb to help me and I don't -- Tara Sivec
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Did you see that? The fuck I give. It went that way. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm sorry, what do you want to order?"
"A virgin. I want to order a virgin. -- Tara Sivec
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Hey, maybe we can even convince her to slather some Three Musketeers on her vagina. We'll just tell her you have a Willy Wonka fetish, -- Tara Sivec
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Oh my, did you have another accident? It's a good thing I made that urologist appointment, -- Tara Sivec
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It all just depends on the person you're with. If you can look at that person and know without a doubt that you want to spend the rest of your life kissing them goodnight and waking up next to them, marriage is for you. -- Tara Sivec
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I watch as DJ easily bends down to slip under the ropes. He stands up to his full height and walks into the middle of the ring and my brain immediately drops right into my vagina. -- Tara Sivec
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I remember that night fondly. And by fondly, I mean with bitter resentment toward all things alcoholic and with a penis. -- Tara Sivec
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It's totally fine," I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. "She's totally housebroken. She'll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out. -- Tara Sivec
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Love and lists. Just remember, love and lists. Nothing else matters. -- Tara Sivec
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And tell me you didn't take him out in public today with that shirt on."
We both look at Gavin's shirt that boldly states, "They shake me. -- Tara Sivec
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FUCK YOU, SAM I AM! -- Tara Sivec
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He's been hung up on a one-night-stand he had five years ago with a girl that smelled like Cocoa Puffs. -- Tara Sivec
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If I keep sampling the goods like this my ass is going to grow another cheek to make room for all the fat. -- Tara Sivec
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I hate every moment that I'm away from her, but I will do whatever it takes to find the man she once loved and bring him back to her. -- Tara Sivec
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Jenny can still suck a golf ball through a garden hose and she guns my cock like a champ since she misplaced her false teeth! -- Tara Sivec
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Say it," he whispers. "I missed out on this the first time. I want to hear you say it. -- Tara Sivec
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Monster. Help. Popsicle scary -- Tara Sivec
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Mom, do you have pot hanging from the ceiling? -- Tara Sivec
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Climbing into bed, I slide my hands behind my head and stare up at the ceiling.
I have no idea who my father is.
I just had anal!
But I have no idea who my father is.
ANAL, MOTHERFUCKER!
Shit, I hate being so conflicted. -- Tara Sivec
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I should have sold you to that traveling circus when you were four. -- Tara Sivec
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I'm going to put corn and hot sauce on your wiener, and then I'll hit you in the face with it. Hit you in the face with your corny wiener. -- Tara Sivec
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I don't give a fuck who can hear us, Garrett said angrily. This one's for me. -- Tara Sivec
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My tits may be small, but they're deadly -- Tara Sivec