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Choice betrays character," I said.
"That's not true." Loring moved his finger along the
sheet as if writing his name in cursive. "Eliza, you can't judge a man solely on his actions. Sometimes actions are nothing more than reactions. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Did you really want to die?" "No one commits suicide because they want to die." "Then why do they do it?" "Because they want to stop the pain. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I asked John if it was a crime to want to live in a world where girls with falcon eyes and pretty underwear believe in the saving grace of rock 'n' roll and he said, "Just check your chute before you jump, that's all I'm saying." Gotta get some sleep. Over. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I guess I need to find a happy medium, someplace between giving them what they want and ending up face-down in a pool of my own goddamn integrity. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

What do you say we mark this day - the day we met - by buying each other a record? Something we think reflects our perceptions of each other. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

There's nothing more pathetic than dreaming dreams you know can never come true. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I need to know that wherever I end up, in the stars or in the gutter, you're along for the ride. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

There's also nothing noble about being fearless. How much do you wanna bet the last man standing in a battle is usually the biggest fool of all? - Paul Hudson -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Dear Trixie,
Will you come to Memphis with me?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I'd go anywhere with you because you fuck like a goddamn fire hose.
D) You're an asshole and I never want to see you again.
Circle ONLY ONE and give it back to me when you're done eating.
Love, J -- Tiffanie Debartolo

You can't wait forever for something, and then say it's too late when the time finally comes, even if every shred of incentive inside you has been lost. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

And when Paul dove to embrace me, the look on his face was one of absolute, perfect joy - the kind of joy that can't be reproached, stolen, or marred - the kind that only the innocent or the ignorant are capable of experiencing. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'd never seen that look on another face before, had never identified it in another person. I'd only met with it in fiction. But everyone falls in love with Holden Caulfield when they're sixteen. They read Catcher in the Rye and don't feel so alone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

For the rest of the day all I could think about was that precious fruit. The mango, that is. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Personally, I don't like inherently happy people. I don't trust them. I think there's something seriously wrong with anyone who isn't at least a little let down by the world. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I had the feeling I'd just found something I didn't even know I'd lost. We hovered above the moment like two rain clouds, until I said: Don't swear off all fruit just because you ate one bad apple. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

We didn't want to be presidents, or astronouts, or Bill Gates. We had pathetically simple dreams: to do meaningful work that we could be proud of, to be together, and to be happy. That certainly wasn't too much to ask. Or was it? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Life is short and a man should take pride in his work, even if his work makes him feel like a total loser -- Tiffanie Debartolo

But I managed to masquerade as a person having a good time. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Standing off to the side, stage left, I backed up, parked myself on a crate, and squeezed my knees together. The louder the music got, the harder the crate vibrated. It was like having sex with Paul's spirit until his body could step in and finish the job. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

All my life I waited for someone who would say things like that to me. And for someone I didn't feel alone in the presence of. Someone who understood. Someone who would make me feel like it wasn't just me against the world. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

As usual no one's ever around when you need them. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I took a closer look. Jesus had piercing blue eyes, dark hair that hung in a flawless mess, his body was emaciated and taut, his hands and feet dripped with blood, and nothing but a gauzy loincloth hid what looked like a nice package underneath.
"Sexy," I said. "He looks like a rock star. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The phrase what I want struck me. It contains so much entitlement, so many complications, but encompasses only what a person doesn't have. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I led Paul out the door, and neither of us said a word while we crossed the street. Once we made it to the other side, Paul stopped to stare at the building. He was babbling incoherently. The only words I caught were "fucking uptown" and "pancreas." He still had the doorman's pen in his hand. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is, there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I hate that word, CAN'T. I wish it had never been dreamed
up, spoken, or defined. I wish the concept of CAN'T could be
eradicated not only from language, but more importantly from
the psyche of a girl who I know is filled with so much CAN it seeps out of her pores and scents the air. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

People have reasons for what they do, Beatrice. And even if those reasons can't be justified, that doesn't make them bad people, just flawed. You have to remember," she said, "someone or something has hurt them too. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I would have remembered the good stuff.
Nobody ever remembers the good stuff. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

This is what it means to be in the middle of love, I thought. Being in the middle of love is like being in the middle of a war zone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

So far, I've only discovered four things that make life worth living for me. My work is one of them." "What are the other three?" Jacob wanted to know. "Music, books, and sex," I said. "Not necessarily in that order." His eyebrows -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Isn't it funny to think that this magnificent piece of matter is in a state of decay? Really, can you think of any other living thing that looks this glorious as it's dying? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Believe it or not, I have boundaries. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I remember feeling it even then- the sensation that your heart weighs more than your body- that it might burst out of your chest and splatter all over the wall. I suppose it's called loneliness. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Reach out and touch faith. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

You wanna know how to make God laugh?" he said. "Tell him your plans." (God-shaped Hole) -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I laid it all out for him: Eliza believes in me, she moves me, and she's moved BY me. She makes me happy, she makes me sad, she makes me try harder, she makes me laugh, and she makes me feel like I can fly. Isn't that the goddamn definition of Love? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It's easy to plant a seed and sprinkle it with water, but once the sun scorches the ground, and the earth soaks up all the moisture, you're left with nothing but a thirsty little flower trying desperately to make it out of the dirt. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

One thing I've realized is that my life in its entirety is more important than any one aspect of it. And the sad truth is that until I met you I didn't have anything else. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I nodded, refusing to consider the possibility that any of us are doomed to die the same sorry people we sometimes become. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I didn't want to go through all the shit anymore- the feeling of being so fucking in love every single day that it hurt like a gunshot in your gut. Who the hell would want to feel like that for the rest of their life? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Maybe I'm weak for music men. Maybe I'm weak, period. But I couldn't deny I was charmed by his arrogant, fool-ish guise. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Camp? You mean like sleep outside?" "No, I mean dress in drag," Jacob said sarcastically. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Maybe that was the key to getting rid of the loneliness, I thought. Treating love as entertainment, not as salvation. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I could blame my existential sadness on a lot of issues, but the truth is, it's been a part of me since Day One. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'm trying to quit," he said. "Just so you know." He lit the cigarette and inhaled so long and so deep it sounded like air being let out of a tire. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'm afraid of everything. Fear of being alone, fear of being hurt, fear of being made a fool of, fear of failure ... Still, I think all my fears bleed from one big one ... -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Real annihilation happens from the inside out. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The past was a worthless human ability that had evolved for the sole purpose of reminding mortals of their mistakes. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Absorbing his words was like taking a drink of hot tea. They burned on the way down, but soothed my insides once they had time to cool off. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Don't swear off all the fruits just because you ate one bad apple. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

For what it's worth, I think happiness is a fleeting condition, not a permanent state of goddamn mind. I've learned that if you chase after moments of bliss here and there, sometimes those moments will sustain you through the shit. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

He turned and looked up at me with the face of a needy child and the eyes of an ancient shaman. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Talent? That's not talent. Talent is Liza Minnelli tap dancing and singing at the same time. What I just saw was devastation. Dying man on the cross. Salvation in B minor. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Why didn't you tell me?" Vera looked cautious. "Tell you what? I said he was talented.""Talent? That's not talent. Talent is Liza Minnelli tap-dancing and singing at the same time. What I just saw was devastation. Dying man on the cross. Salvation in B minor. An ejaculation of truth. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The question is one of faith. Faith in my talent. Faith in my decisions. And faith in the idea that the truth, even if it can't pay my bills, can still set me free. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Jacob was the only person I'd ever met, besides myself, who believed music was a cosmic language that spoke directly to our souls - to ease our pain, and to remind us we weren't alone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

We had pathetically simple dreams:
to do meaningful work that we could be proud of, to be together, and to be happy. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It was as if all the melancholy I'd ever known, all the nights I sat alone thinking life sucked, had added up to our place in the world- finally a good place- and the spirit of that rightness was meant to echo on until the end of time. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

But sometimes, talent isn't worth shit. There are tons of talentless people out there making zillions of dollars. And unfortunately, an equal number of brilliant artists whose name and voices you'll never hear. - Paul Hudson -- Tiffanie Debartolo

When I was twelve, a fortune teller told me that my one true love would die young and leave me all alone.. Everyone said she was a fraud, that she was just making it up.. I'd really like to know why the hell a person would make up a thing like that. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Magician, musician. Same thing. A little hocus pocus and a whole lot of faith, right? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I was alone. In ways people aren't supposed to be alone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Popular music is a microcosm of the culture, Eliza. It reflects the mentality of the population. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It's bad enough when people I know fuck with my life, but when pretentious bass players interfere with my destiny, then I really get pissed. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Eliza, my pancreas. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

For the record, if I were Superman, a pale, scrawny guy holding a guitar would be Kryptonite. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. And I'm guessing that once you've discovered this distinction you can't go back to solitary confinement without serious emotional repercussions. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

For me, the release was a spot in time with no past and no future. Just the extraordinary simplicity of a moment - the kind of moment that has a funny way of making a person believe that life and love can last forever. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I love you. More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. Siamese twin lovers, identical wombs, whatever the hell you called it. All I want in life is to drive out of this horrible, soul-destroying state with you someday. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The housekeeper had been there that afternoon. I could always tell because the sheets on the bed would be tucked in so tight, trying to get them out was like wrestling an alligator. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It was all I could do not to fall on my knees and weep like the bastard she always said I was, and I was a breath away from begging her to run away with me. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

When dreams come true in reality they never feel the same as when you imagine them, and you know what that means? It means that no matter how good things are, maybe they'll never be good enough, and there's something seriously wrong with that. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

When you're twenty-three and you fall in love, you tend to think that love will supersede any problems. But no matter how much you love somebody, no matter how desperately you want a relationship to work, life can act as an oxidizer and corrode it to pieces. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Dreams can change histories and songs can alter destinies. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Tell me what you're afraid of,' Jacob said.
Shit, I thought, this could take all day. My life was ruled by my fears. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I just happen to comprehend the low standards of the majority of the music-buying public, and I don't care how condescending that sounds, it's true. They always go for the shiny gimmicks. Always. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I just want to sleep with a clear conscience and wake up with the ability to look at myself in the mirror. I also want my life to be my own. Even if it's a shitty goddamn life, it's still mine. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It. I likened it to the intimate version of Doug's Tell me what you listen to and I'll tell you what you are theory. This was: Tell me who you fuck and I'll tell you what you are. Spiritual duplicity. "Choice betrays character," I said. "That's not true. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I almost died. Fortunately, my mother was a nurse. She gave me a shot of something, and things turned out brilliantly.
Lucky me, I thought. Why couldn't his mother have been a telephone operator? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

He was waiting for something from me. Acknowledgement. Validation. Commiseration, perhaps. I couldn't even look at him because I was afraid of feeling any more than I already did. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Fate is just another word for people's choices coming to a head. Destiny, coincidence, whatever you name it. It inevitably lies in our hands. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

He's more than just a good-looking guy and you know it. But, I thought, he doesn't have flashlight eyes or a cocky-bastard smile that can boil water or a voice from the heavens and most of all he says things like, It's only rock 'n' roll. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'm tempted to tell you that you think too much, but I'm not really one to talk,' Jacob said. 'Henry Miller wrote something about fear making you fearless. It's a very powerful emotion. Use it to get what you want. I mean if it's going to rule our life, it might as well rule you to freedom, right? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Has the industry done to music what McDonald's has done to eating? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Eliza has the sky in her eyes and I've always wanted to touch the goddamn sky. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Bargaining. An utterly useless stage. Neither God nor the Universe ever bargained with anyone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

If you want me you're going to have to come and get me. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Committing suicide so as not to be murdered is the worst reason I've ever heard of to die. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

A song." I said aloud. "What?" "The whole time Adam and I were together, he never wrote a song for me." Vera looked like she was trying to think of an appropriate response to such a stupid desire. "He was a drummer. You hate it when drummers sing. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Life, Love, and the Goddamn Pursuit of Happiness. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

There's nothing worse than falling in love with a person over and over every time you lay eyes on them, especially when you hate their goddamn guts -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It drives me crazy when people know me well enough to remind me what I believe. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Sometimes the most consequential moments in my life originate from a state of completely witless human auto-pilot. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Forget the noose. Forget the Iron Maiden. Forget the electric chair or the guillotine. The mind was mankind's most painful torture chamber, the blessed liberty to cogitate offering either doom or salvation, depending on one's disposition. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Happiness is elusive, for sure.But like love, and music, I believe in it because I can feel it. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

In his eyes I saw all the other possibilities. The dream-world possibilities. The fairytale possibilities. The seemingly impossible possibilities. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I didn't write that song to try and win you over, or to steal you away from him. I wrote it because I knew I never could. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Lying next to Eliza, I had the feeling I had I'd just found something I didn't even know I'd lost. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I know that if I ever have the audacity to blame fate or God for holding a gun to my temple, I also have the wherewithal to remind myself that if I end up with a hole in my head, I was the one who pulled the trigger. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I wanted to freeze the moment. Freeze it and jump inside of it and stay there until it melted into the warm, swishy liquid of happy memories. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn't be one of them. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I like to say I don't believe in mystics . I don't believe in fate. I don't believe in destiny or kismet. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in anything. But I believe in the possibility of everything. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Because a soul never truly loses hope until hope has turned to ashes, or has been buried six feet underground. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I told her she was brave and she said, "I'm not brave, I'm in love." Ha. Same goddamn thing. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I want to stumble across something on the sidewalk and pretend she dropped it: a flower petal, a scarf. And then I want to set it on fire. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'm not messy. I'm rebelling against folding. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Sometimes I would open my eyes when we were kissing, I would watch him and I could see it. I could actually see LOVE - not words, not an emotion, not an abstract concept or a subjective state of mind, but a living, breathing thing. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

When I asked Vera why Michael was so obstinate, she told me that some asshole had recently broken Eliza's heart. A drummer, no less. Hell, even I know girls should stay away from the goddamn drummers. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Fate is the magnetic pull of our souls toward the people, places, and things we belong with. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It's pretty simple, really, when you think about it: We all start out as little fishes in our daddy's pants, and we all end up a Thanksgiving feast for the worms, and in the meantime we have to find a couple good reasons to give a fuck. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The only thing I remember about him now is that he shaved his legs. I was surprised at how much I dug the shaved legs.
"Thanks for sharing," Jacob said.
I hadn't realized I'd been thinking aloud. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Across the hall, Paul was either fucking the girl or murdering her, I couldn't tell which. I smelled mothballs. The afghan was going to have to go. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The power of music rests in its ability to reach inside and touch the places where the deepest cuts lie. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I try to find meaning anywhere I can. It's the only way I know how to validate my existence. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

And if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Don't waste your time with fear.. Fear won't keep you safe from being hurt. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Tell me what you listen to, and I'll tell you who you are. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Caelum goes: "There have been studies done on this topic, gentlemen. You could wager a bet and look it up." Caelum always talks like someone's dad when he's high. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The days will always be brighter because he existed.
The nights will always be darker because he's gone. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Everyone might as well say good-bye to them now, these two aren't coming back. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I imagined the towns were filled with people like me - lonely people who wanted to fly away, who wanted more from life than a dreary existence of one-stop shopping, but either didn't know what that meant, or didn't have the guts to go out and find it. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I'd be a sucker for a guy who wrote me a song," I said. "Like Beth or Rosanna or Sara. Or Sharona. Is that too much to ask? To be somebody's Sharona? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I don't know anything," she said. "Except that desperation and fear make a person do really stupid things. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Note to self: Always remember how lucky you are to wake up next to someone who thinks you're the shit. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I was the least impressed with, a woman who thought Henry Miller was a police sitcom from the seventies. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I hoped his last sensation was the euphoria. The peace. The love. I had to believe it was the love. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

That's why you have to save the dying man. Because you want him around to keep saving you. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

She smiled at him in the way you would smile at someone if they'd saved your life. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Bottom line, Eliza - you're my home and my family, and I don't want to lose you.
I could lose everything else, and as long as I still had you and a guitar I know I'd be all right. Do you get what I'm saying? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Thoughts are king, Trixie, king! -- Tiffanie Debartolo

You're the world's muse, Trixie."
"I just want to be your muse."
"Done. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Everyone feels that void. Everyone who has the balls to look inside themselves, anyway. It's what life's all about.. A search. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

We hovered above the moment like two rain clouds -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Emily didn't search to belong, she searched to be lost -- Tiffanie Debartolo

But I guessed that no matter how strong it was, love alone couldn't turn a speck of dust into a galaxy of stars. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I felt betrayed and deceived, and I feared I'd never get to be a William Eggleston character. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

If your intentions are pure I am seeking a friend for the end of the world. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It's about goddamn time! I've been sending you telepathic messages for ten minutes! -- Tiffanie Debartolo

No one commits suicide because they want to die. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Los Angeles signed a pact with the devil and lost its soul a long time ago, you know? It flourishes, but it's doomed. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Just knowing you exist changed the world for me. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Break my heart? Is that what you just said? I have news for you; you didn't break my heart. My heart's fine. My heart's in the best shape of its life. You know what you did to me? You took an AK-47 and blew my soul open. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

You can't judge a man solely on his actions. Sometimes actions are nothing more than re actions. - Loring Blackman -- Tiffanie Debartolo

That's exactly how he looked the last time I saw him - floating around, entangled in the moon. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

The bed smells like sex and chocolate."
He moaned. "Don't tell me that while I'm stuck in a room with six men. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It was a metaphysical perception that an end could never come to a person who was more alive than anyone I'd ever known. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Why are the ones who need the most shelter always the ones left out in the rain? -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I always felt like that myself, that I didn't marry into the landscape of the human world like others did, -- Tiffanie Debartolo

If you have a desire to write, that means there's stuff in you that wants out. And if you don't write things down, you just forget them. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I've got my girl and my guitar, and for me that's enough. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Nobody, and I mean nobody, ever started a revolution playing by the rules -- Tiffanie Debartolo

How many times in your life are you allowed to say, "If only ... ?" -- Tiffanie Debartolo

It had to happen. It was part of the order of things. It was the way the universe was supposed to work. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

I went home feeling so unbearably alone I actually thought there was a possibility I could drop dead before the night was over. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Oh my God, that would be just like An Officer and a Gentleman," Kat cried. "Pick her up, Grace! Do it! -- Tiffanie Debartolo

You need faith for forgiveness, -- Tiffanie Debartolo

That's the difference between the real stuff and the crap. I know which one you are and you know which one I am. -- Tiffanie Debartolo

Jacob would have rather looked out of place at the Ritz than look like he cared to fit in anywhere. -- Tiffanie Debartolo