Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by Will Rogers, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring Will Rogers quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 674 Will Rogers quotes for you to read and share.
We Americans think we are pretty good! We want to build a house, we cut down some trees. We want to build a fire, we dig a little coal. But when we run out of all these things, then we will find out just how good we really are. -- Will Rogers
The theater is a great equalizer: it is the only place where the poor can look down on the rich. -- Will Rogers
The trouble with our praying is, we just do it as a means of last resort. -- Will Rogers
I bet you, if I had met Trotsky, and had had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I have never yet met a man I didn't like. -- Will Rogers
We cuss Congress, and we joke about 'em, but they are all good fellows at heart, and if they wasn't in Congress, why, they would be doing something else against us that might be even worse. -- Will Rogers
I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart -- Will Rogers
Coolidge made less speeches and got more votes than any man that ever run. (William Jennings) Bryan was listened to and cheered by more people than any single human in politics, and he lost. So there is a doubt just whether talking does you good or harm. -- Will Rogers
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.' -- Will Rogers
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. -- Will Rogers
Always drink upstream from the herd. -- Will Rogers
And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different. -- Will Rogers
There is a terrible lot of us who don't think that we come from a monkey, but if there are some people who think that they do, why, it's not our business to rob them of what little pleasure they might get out of imagining it. -- Will Rogers
They are having quite an argument over Treasury Secretary Mellon's Tax Bill. Mr. Mellon wants to cut the surtax on the rich, and leave it as is on the poor, as there is more poor than rich. I suppose the majority will win. -- Will Rogers
Spinnin' a rope is fun if your neck ain't in it -- Will Rogers
I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World. -- Will Rogers
Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of 'em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they've been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington. -- Will Rogers
What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis? -- Will Rogers
Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed. -- Will Rogers
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough. -- Will Rogers
Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials. -- Will Rogers
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. -- Will Rogers
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket. -- Will Rogers
I was born on Nov. 4, which is election day ... my birthday has made more men and sent more back to honest work than any other days in the year. -- Will Rogers
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. -- Will Rogers
Course, that's the trouble with politics, it breeds politics! So that makes it pretty hard to stamp out. -- Will Rogers
There is a tremendous movement on to get lower taxes on earned incomes. Then will come the real problem, 'Who among us on salary are earning our income?' -- Will Rogers
People want just taxes more than they want lower taxes. They want to know that every man is paying his proportionate share according to his wealth. -- Will Rogers
I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is - they like to run their own business. I know men that would -make my wife a better husband than I am but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em -- Will Rogers
Everything worthwhile is a good idea, but did you ever notice there is more bad ideas that will work than there is good ones? -- Will Rogers
No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans. -- Will Rogers
A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief. -- Will Rogers
Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers. -- Will Rogers
I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, "Put it in land, and you can always walk on it." We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us. -- Will Rogers
We are always yapping about the 'Good Old Days' and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn't so hot. -- Will Rogers
Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it. -- Will Rogers
Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion. -- Will Rogers
Things ain't what they used to be and probably never was. -- Will Rogers
You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects. -- Will Rogers
I don't know what humor is. -- Will Rogers
We have been just going like a house afire, and we couldent see any reason why we shouldent keep right on burning. Our tastes were acquired on credit, and we wanted to keep on enjoying 'em on credit. -- Will Rogers
Funny thing about being a U.S. senator, the only thing the law says you have to be is 30 years old. Not another single requirement. They just figure that a man that old got nobody to blame but himself if he gets caught in there. -- Will Rogers
I love words but I don't like strange ones. You don't understand them and they don't understand you. Old words is like old friends, you know 'em the minute you see 'em. -- Will Rogers
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness. -- Will Rogers
Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help them back to bed again. -- Will Rogers
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable. -- Will Rogers
We are always saying: Let the Law take its Course but what we really mean is: Let the Law take OUR Course. -- Will Rogers
Labor Day, I suppose set by an Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us. -- Will Rogers
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. -- Will Rogers
No man is great if he thinks he is. -- Will Rogers
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. -- Will Rogers
They are voting whether to keep a governor two years or four. I think a good, honest governor should get four years, and the others life. -- Will Rogers
If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging. -- Will Rogers
Americans will feed anyone that's not close to them. -- Will Rogers
Where I come from, they won't let me play with this rope. They think I might hurt myself. -- Will Rogers
Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach. -- Will Rogers
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. -- Will Rogers
No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has. -- Will Rogers
Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source. -- Will Rogers
Some guy invented Vitamin A out of a carrot. I'll bet he can't invent a good meal out of one. -- Will Rogers
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury! -- Will Rogers
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
A company is known by the people it keeps. -- Will Rogers
I don't see why a man shouldn't pay an inheritance tax. If a Country is good enough to pay taxes to while you are living, it's good enough to pay in after you die. By the time you die you should be so used to paying taxes that it would just be almost second nature to you. -- Will Rogers
The bankers just got a good cussing by everybody for loaning too much money. Well, they got some awful nice buildings. So when a banker fails, he fails in splendor. -- Will Rogers
There's the one thing no nation can ever accuse us of and that is secret diplomacy. Our foreign are an open book, generally a check book. -- Will Rogers
It's not what we don't know that hurts. It's what we know that ain't so. -- Will Rogers
I'm not against (bull fighting). Some nations like to see blood, and some like to see their victims suffer from speculation ... They kill the bull very quick. Wall Street lets you live and suffer. -- Will Rogers
Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human. -- Will Rogers
There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket. -- Will Rogers
The way to make money in the stock market is to buy a stock. Then, when it goes up, sell it. If it's not going to go up, don't buy it! -- Will Rogers
The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. -- Will Rogers
The self persists like a dying star, In sleep, afraid. -- Will Rogers
We're all ignorant, just about different stuff. -- Will Rogers
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. -- Will Rogers
The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years. -- Will Rogers
Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them. -- Will Rogers
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. -- Will Rogers
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. -- Will Rogers
Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. -- Will Rogers
Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects. -- Will Rogers
This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read. -- Will Rogers
People learn more from observation that they do from conversation. -- Will Rogers
There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it. -- Will Rogers
You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it. -- Will Rogers
You know Lincoln's famous remark about "God must have loved the common people, because he made so many of them?" Well, you are not going to get people's votes nowadays by calling 'em common. Lincoln might have said it, but I bet it was not until after he was elected. -- Will Rogers
The high income tax come pretty near passing in the Senate. Only lacked about six votes. So it won't be long now. Well, there is millions and millions that are not making it, that would be glad to give up 99 per cent if you would let 'em earn a hundred thousand or more. -- Will Rogers
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. -- Will Rogers
More words ain't good for anything in the world only to bring on more argument. -- Will Rogers
The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn't sit in a Ford with all the doors locked. -- Will Rogers
Funny to watch these Senators switching back and forth on Prohibition. Politics is a great character builder. You have to take a referendum to see what your convictions are for that day. -- Will Rogers
There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank. -- Will Rogers
When you have helped to raise the standard of cooking, you have helped to raise the only thing in the world that really matters. We only have one or two wars in a lifetime, but we have three meals a day
there's nothing in the world that we do as much as we do eating. -- Will Rogers
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. -- Will Rogers
Now they got such a high inheritance tax on 'em that you won't catch these old rich boys dying promiscuously like they did. This bill makes patriots out of everybody. You sure do die for your country if you die from now on. -- Will Rogers
It is better for some one to think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. -- Will Rogers
We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead. -- Will Rogers
It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. -- Will Rogers
A politician is not as narrow-minded as he forces himself to be. -- Will Rogers
There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs -- Will Rogers
Say, did you read what this writer just dug up in George Washington's diary? I was so ashamed I sat up all night reading it. -- Will Rogers
If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway? -- Will Rogers
Politicians are dumb, but they can count to 50% plus one. -- Will Rogers
The small town is passing. It was the incubator that hatched all our big men, and that's why we haven't got as many big men today as we used to have. Take every small-town-raised leader out of business and you would have nobody left running it but vice-presidents. -- Will Rogers
I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy. -- Will Rogers
Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off. -- Will Rogers
I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't. -- Will Rogers
Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out -- Will Rogers
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. -- Will Rogers
A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time. -- Will Rogers
In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it. -- Will Rogers
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday. -- Will Rogers
I am telling folks that the Country as a whole is "Sound," and that all those who's heads are solid are bound to get back into the market again. I tell 'em that this Country is bigger than Wall Street, and if they don't believe it, I show 'em the map. -- Will Rogers
Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would 'pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.' Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are. -- Will Rogers
Will somebody please tell me what they do with all the Vice-Presidents a bank has? Why the United States is the biggest business institution in the world, and they got only one Vice-President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do. -- Will Rogers
Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner. -- Will Rogers
Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet. -- Will Rogers
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. -- Will Rogers
Plans get you into things, but you got to work your way out. -- Will Rogers
Ammunition beats persuasion when you are looking for freedom. -- Will Rogers
There is an awful lot of difference between reading something and actually seeing it, for you can never tell, till you see it, just how big a liar History is. -- Will Rogers
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. -- Will Rogers
A politician is just like a pickpocket; it's almost impossible to get him to reform. -- Will Rogers
A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it's quiet and doesn't pay much attention to anything, that's when it's really dangerous. -- Will Rogers
Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded. -- Will Rogers
There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness. -- Will Rogers
It's the fellow who knows when to quit that the audience wants more of. -- Will Rogers
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. -- Will Rogers
Get a sales tax, small on necessities and large on luxuries; then a stiff inheritance tax on the fellow that saves and don't spend. That will get him either way. A tax paid on the day you buy is not as tough as asking you for it the next year when you are broke. -- Will Rogers
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation. -- Will Rogers
There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate. -- Will Rogers
Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. -- Will Rogers
I don't care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling then the world will have peace. -- Will Rogers
If you want to know when a war might be coming, you just watch the U.S. and see when it starts cutting down on its defenses. It's the surest barometer in the world. -- Will Rogers
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. -- Will Rogers
You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow. -- Will Rogers
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. -- Will Rogers
Out here I had been putting what little money I had in Ocean Frontage, for the sole reason that there was only so much of it and no more, and that they wasent making any more ... -- Will Rogers
I read where they are going to limit debate in the Senate. It used to be that a man could talk all day, but now, as soon as he tells all he knows, he has to sit down. Most of these birds will just be getting up and nodding now. Why, some of them won't be able to answer roll call. -- Will Rogers
Nobody wants his cause near as bad as he wants to talk about his cause. -- Will Rogers
Our financial ills will never be settled till you fix it so every man will pay an income tax on what he earns, be it a farm, grocery store or municipal or government bonds. -- Will Rogers
When a fellow ain't got much mind, it don't take him long to make it up. -- Will Rogers
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely -- Will Rogers
Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks. -- Will Rogers
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation. -- Will Rogers
Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he didn't have to pay anything if he didn't make it. -- Will Rogers
Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364. -- Will Rogers
President Coolidge said, 'I don't want the Government to go into business.' Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn't worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man. -- Will Rogers
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. -- Will Rogers
You know, women always could endure more than men. Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands? -- Will Rogers
Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. -- Will Rogers
The United States investigates everything - usually after it's dead. -- Will Rogers
You know, a Communist's whole life work is based on complaint of how everything is done ... So if they ever get their country running good they will defeat their own cause. -- Will Rogers
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. -- Will Rogers
Golf is a wonderful exercise. You can stand on your feet for hours, watching somebody else putt. -- Will Rogers
If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier. -- Will Rogers
No party is as bad as its leaders. -- Will Rogers
Get all the good laughs you can. -- Will Rogers
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. -- Will Rogers
Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco. -- Will Rogers
The budget is like a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, then reaches in and tries to pull real ones out. -- Will Rogers
The farmers can be thankful. Didn't the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security. -- Will Rogers
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. -- Will Rogers
The government says they have loaned over One Billion dollars to the Farmers. In other words, we can't help you make any money, but we will show you where you can owe some more. -- Will Rogers
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen. -- Will Rogers
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. -- Will Rogers
There wasn't any Republicans in Washington's day. No Republicans, no Boll Weevil, no income tax, no cover charge, no disarmament conference, no luncheon clubs, no stop lights, no static, no head winds. My Lord, living in those days, who wouldn't be great? -- Will Rogers
Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature. -- Will Rogers
People only learn through two things. One is reading and the other is association with smarter people -- Will Rogers
There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more learned a man is, the less consideration he has for another man's belief. -- Will Rogers
Congress is deadlocked and can't act. -- Will Rogers
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. -- Will Rogers
You can't tell what a man is like or what he is thinking when you are looking at him. You must get around behind him and see what he has been looking at. -- Will Rogers
I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world. -- Will Rogers
If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for. -- Will Rogers
My forefathers didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat. -- Will Rogers
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. -- Will Rogers
Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records. -- Will Rogers
Congress didn't vote on the bills, they just wave at them as they go by. -- Will Rogers
There is something about a Republican that you can only stand him just so long; and on the other hand, there is something about a Democrat that you can't stand him quite that long. -- Will Rogers
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. -- Will Rogers
With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea! -- Will Rogers
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. -- Will Rogers
In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell -- Will Rogers
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible -- Will Rogers
It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again. -- Will Rogers
The US is safest when Congress is in recess. -- Will Rogers
Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them. -- Will Rogers
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke. -- Will Rogers
I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names. -- Will Rogers
Technocracy wants to do everything by machinery. Machinery is doing just fine. If it can't kill you, it will put you out of work. -- Will Rogers
I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like. -- Will Rogers
We do more talking progress than we do progressing. -- Will Rogers
I have Indian Blood in me. I have just enough white blood for you to question my honesty! -- Will Rogers
And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They dont like to be corrected in company. Dont send messages to em, send candy. -- Will Rogers
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. -- Will Rogers
I am a great believer in high-priced people. If a thing cost a lot it may not be any better, but it adds a certain amount of class that the cheap thing can never approach; in the long run it's the higher-priced things that are the cheapest. -- Will Rogers
George Bernard Shaw of England stopped over just long enough to make one speech in Bombay, India, started a war and 100 Indians killed each other. That's what I call good speech-making. The only enthusiasm any of our speakers can rouse is a demand to kill the speaker. -- Will Rogers
A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles. -- Will Rogers
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. -- Will Rogers
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. -- Will Rogers
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. -- Will Rogers
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. -- Will Rogers
Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises. -- Will Rogers
Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. -- Will Rogers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -- Will Rogers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then I want to go where they do. -- Will Rogers
Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life. -- Will Rogers
If Wall Street paid a tax on every "game" they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on. -- Will Rogers
We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it. -- Will Rogers
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you. -- Will Rogers
A woman can make a man feel older or younger than his years if she so chooses. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. Women were made with a sense of humor so they could love men instead of laughing at them. -- Will Rogers
Hundreds and hundreds of beautiful horses in the parade and a man without a silver saddle is a vagrant. -- Will Rogers
Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse. It must be to his bravery, you can tell it's not to his horsemanship. -- Will Rogers
In politics practically everything you hear is scandal, and besides, the funny thing is that the things they are whispering ain't half has bad as the things they have been saying right out loud. -- Will Rogers
Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times. -- Will Rogers
We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in. -- Will Rogers
Polo, racing and horse shows all are doing great work to help the farmer and rancher to raise better horses. -- Will Rogers
It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline. -- Will Rogers
The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will. -- Will Rogers
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him ... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. -- Will Rogers
A Realtor is an old fashioned Real Estate man with a neck tie. A Real Estate man sold you what you wanted, a Realtor sells you what you don't need. A Real Estate man showed you what you could raise on the land, a Realtor tells you what you can build on it. -- Will Rogers
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation. -- Will Rogers
There's a simple solution to our traffic problems. We'll have business build the roads, and government build the cars. -- Will Rogers
Know what you're doing, love what you're doing, and believe in what you're doing. -- Will Rogers
I don't think either one of them knows what it's all about, to be honest with you. Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election. -- Will Rogers
My own mother died when I was 10 years old. My folks have told me that what little humor I have comes from her. I can't remember her humor, but I can remember her love and understanding of me. -- Will Rogers
There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family. But he can't make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people -- Will Rogers
Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space. -- Will Rogers
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way. -- Will Rogers
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. -- Will Rogers
You must never tell a thing. You must illustrate it. We learn through
the eye and not the noggin. -- Will Rogers
We know lots of things we didn't use to know but we don't know any way to prevent 'em from happening. -- Will Rogers
I am proud of the fact there is not a human being that I have got it in for. I never met a man I didn't like. -- Will Rogers
There is a hundred things to single you out for promotion in party politics besides ability. -- Will Rogers
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back -- Will Rogers
It's no laughing matter being a Republican in these perilous times. Anyone can be a Republican when the stock market is up, but when stocks are selling for no more than they're worth, I tell you, being a Republican - it's a sacrifice. -- Will Rogers
When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging. -- Will Rogers
Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter ... he's just got to know. -- Will Rogers
If you ever injected truth into politics you would have no politics. -- Will Rogers
Coolidge has the best idea on this farm relief. He said, 'Farmers, you are in a hole. I can't help you, but I will get in with you.' He did. That made it fine so the farmers were satisfied as long as Coolidge was going to get in with them. -- Will Rogers
Farmers have about given up hope of getting farm relief and have decided to fertilize instead. -- Will Rogers
Show me a healthy community with a healthy economy and I will show you a community that has its green infrastructure in order and understands the relationship between the built and the unbuilt environment. -- Will Rogers
There is nothing fairer than workmen having unions of their mutual benefit. -- Will Rogers
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. -- Will Rogers
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. -- Will Rogers
A fanatic is always the fellow that is on the opposite side. -- Will Rogers
If this depression stays with us, the loser Tuesday is going to be the winner. -- Will Rogers
We are here for just a spell, so get a few laughs. -- Will Rogers
I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing. -- Will Rogers
It looks like the financial giants of the world have bungled as much as the diplomats and politicians. This would be a great time in the world for some man to come along that knew something. -- Will Rogers
Things aren't what they used to be and probably never were. -- Will Rogers
The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent. -- Will Rogers
You can take any line of business and skill and the ones who do it the best are the ones who get the most money for it. -- Will Rogers
You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not. -- Will Rogers
The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges? -- Will Rogers
Legalize racing in every State. Sure people will bet, but they get to see the horses run and you certain can't see General Motors and General Electric and General Utility run when you bet on them. -- Will Rogers
If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business. -- Will Rogers
The French couldn't hate us any more unless we helped 'em out in another war. -- Will Rogers
The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him. -- Will Rogers
Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so. -- Will Rogers
My father was one-eighth Cherokee indian and my mother was quarter-blood Cherokee. I never got far enough in arithmetic to figure out how much injun that made me, but there's nothing of which I am more proud than my Cherokee blood. -- Will Rogers
Syntax must be bad, having sin and tax in it. -- Will Rogers
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. -- Will Rogers
I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one. -- Will Rogers
There is a horse here-the furthest north of any horse, and he eats fish and travels on snowshoes. -- Will Rogers
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. -- Will Rogers
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing,
you got to admit that each party is worse than the other.
The one that's out always looks the best -- Will Rogers
The president says, 'There is lots of people worse off than the Farmers.' I don't know who it could be unless it is the fellow who holds the Mortgages on the Farms. -- Will Rogers
Say, this new home building idea of President Hoover's sounds good. They are working out a lot of beneficial things. The only thing is it took 'em so long to think of any of 'em. We ought to have plans in case of depression, just like we do in case of fire, 'Walk, don't run, to the nearest exit.' -- Will Rogers
There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around barbecued beef, black coffee and good free holy beans. -- Will Rogers
It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about; it's the return of my investment -- Will Rogers
A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination. -- Will Rogers
Foreign relations is an open book
generally a checkbook. -- Will Rogers
Wine had such ill effects on Noah's health that it was all he could do to live 950 years. Show me a total abstainer that ever lived that long. -- Will Rogers
The "Ways & Means Committee" is a committee that's supposed to find the Ways to divide up the Means. -- Will Rogers
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. -- Will Rogers
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. -- Will Rogers
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous. -- Will Rogers
One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets. -- Will Rogers
It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington. -- Will Rogers
The deer season just opened. A deer hunter in Ventura Country brought in his first man yesterday. -- Will Rogers
After seeing kids play polo against big guys, it only shows that horses are the greatest equalizer in the world. No matter what you weigh, the little fellow is your equal on a horse. -- Will Rogers
The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars are allowed to use the highways. That would make traffic so scarce, we could use our boulevards for children's playgrounds. -- Will Rogers
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. -- Will Rogers
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. -- Will Rogers
I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime. -- Will Rogers
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. -- Will Rogers
A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some. -- Will Rogers
Everytime a lawyer writes something, he is not writing for posterity, he is writing something so that endless others of his craft can make a living out of trying to figure out what he said. Course perhaps he really haden't said anything, that's what makes it so hard to explain. -- Will Rogers
Bankers are likeable rascals. Now that we are all wise to 'em, it's been shown that they don't know any more about finances than the rest of us know about our businesses ... which has proved to be nothing. -- Will Rogers
Invest in inflation. It is the only thing going up. -- Will Rogers
Why don't somebody print the truth about our present economic situation? We spent six years of wild buying on credit - everything under the sun, whether we needed it or not - and now we are having to pay for 'em, and we are howling like a pet coon. -- Will Rogers
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. -- Will Rogers
I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with. -- Will Rogers
The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. -- Will Rogers
I love horses and I only ask-don't let me know which one we are eating today. -- Will Rogers
I do honestly believe the Republicans have reformed and want to do better. But whether they have done it in time to win the election is another thing. The old voter is getting so he wants to be saved before October every election year. -- Will Rogers
I never met a person that I did not want to like -- Will Rogers
Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn't, too. -- Will Rogers
If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change. -- Will Rogers
Your mothers get mighty shocked at you girls nowadays, but in her day, her mother was just on the verge of sending her to reform school. -- Will Rogers
It looks to me like any man that wants to be President in times like these lacks something. -- Will Rogers
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans -- Will Rogers
A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel. -- Will Rogers
I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth. -- Will Rogers
These dust storms ... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him. -- Will Rogers
I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to. -- Will Rogers
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there -- Will Rogers
Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian. -- Will Rogers
I make a living off (politicians), so I can't knock 'em. Every time we elect some fellow we think he's terrible and then when we get another one in he's worse. So, I am always in favor of keeping the one we've got and let the other go. -- Will Rogers
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. -- Will Rogers
The trip across Arizona is just one oasis after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there, I like Arizona. -- Will Rogers
I have often said in answer to inquiries as to how I got away with kidding some of our public men, that it was because I liked all of them personally, and that if there was no malice in your heart there could be none in your "Gags", and I have always said I never met a man I dident like. -- Will Rogers
You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people. -- Will Rogers
What the Secretary of Agriculture is trying to do is to teach the farmer corn acreage control, and the hogs birth control, and one is just as hard to make understand it as the other. -- Will Rogers
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. -- Will Rogers
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing. -- Will Rogers
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' -- Will Rogers
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. -- Will Rogers
There is some talk of lowering (the income tax), and they will have to. People are not making enough to pay it. -- Will Rogers
It's the greatest game I ever saw. You can't lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What's worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It's just like an auction; the only one stuck is the last one. -- Will Rogers
I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money. -- Will Rogers
I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. -- Will Rogers
If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership. -- Will Rogers
What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more. -- Will Rogers
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. -- Will Rogers
Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn't produced even a good Congressman. -- Will Rogers
Originality will be rewarded in any line. -- Will Rogers
The country has gone sane and got back to horses. -- Will Rogers
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. -- Will Rogers
There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking. -- Will Rogers
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it -- Will Rogers
A successful outcome shows what hard work, perseverance and taking advantage of your opportunities will do for you. -- Will Rogers
One of these days they are going to remove so much of the 'hooey' and the thousands of things the schools have become clogged up with, and we will find that we can educate our broods for about one-tenth of the price and learn 'em something that they might accidentally use after they escape. -- Will Rogers
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. -- Will Rogers
The Lord so constituted everybody that no matter what color you are you require the same amount of nourishment. -- Will Rogers
There will never be a time when the old horse is not superior to any auto ever made. -- Will Rogers
Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge. -- Will Rogers
Of course nothing is ever done about a [presidential] commission report, except, they say, once a man at the state prison for the criminally insane actually read one once clear through. Then he did something about it. He made a bonfire that lasted a week. -- Will Rogers
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. -- Will Rogers
America has the best politicians money can buy. -- Will Rogers
Nobody wants to be called common people, especially common people. -- Will Rogers
If a man ain't nothin' else, then he's an artist. It's the only thing he can claim to be that nobody can prove he ain't. -- Will Rogers
When you find youself in a hole - stop digging. -- Will Rogers
But we can't alibi all our ills by just knocking the old banker. First he loaned the money, then the people all at once wanted it back, and he didn't have it. Now he's got it again, and is afraid to loan it, so the poor devil don't know what to do. -- Will Rogers
Statistics have proven that the surest way to get anything out of the public mind and never hear of it again is to have a Senate committee appointed to look into it. -- Will Rogers
America is a land of opportunity and don't ever forget it. -- Will Rogers
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. -- Will Rogers
One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next. -- Will Rogers
The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics ... Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words. -- Will Rogers
The reason political party platforms are so long is that when you straddle anything it takes a long time to explain it. -- Will Rogers
A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking. -- Will Rogers
The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own people after their dumbness has got them into a war. -- Will Rogers
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good. -- Will Rogers
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. -- Will Rogers
Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs. -- Will Rogers
Cities are like gentlemen, they are born, not made. You are either a city, or you are not, size has nothing to do with it. I bet San Francisco was a city from the very first time it had a dozen settlers. New York is "Yokel", but San Francisco is "City at Heart". -- Will Rogers
Our whole Depression was brought on by gambling, not in the stock market alone but in expanding and borrowing and going in debt ... all just to make some easy money quick. -- Will Rogers
He [Calvin Coolidge] is the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone. -- Will Rogers
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. -- Will Rogers
Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more. -- Will Rogers
You can't say civilization dont advance, in every war they kill you in a new way -- Will Rogers
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do. -- Will Rogers
You could be the World's greatest orator and if you don't say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while. -- Will Rogers
When you figure it right down, none of us are in a really essential business but the farmer, and he raises so much that even his business is partly non-essential. -- Will Rogers
You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles. -- Will Rogers
You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone. -- Will Rogers
Common sense is not an issue in politics
it's an affliction. -- Will Rogers
A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet. -- Will Rogers
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. -- Will Rogers
I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips. -- Will Rogers
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. -- Will Rogers
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin. -- Will Rogers
The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity. -- Will Rogers
The stock market has spoiled more appetites than bad cooking. -- Will Rogers
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. -- Will Rogers
I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like. -- Will Rogers
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. -- Will Rogers
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. -- Will Rogers
Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are. -- Will Rogers
I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer. -- Will Rogers
There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing. -- Will Rogers
Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much. -- Will Rogers
America is the first country where people go to the poor house in their car. -- Will Rogers
An economist is a man that can tell you ... what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too. -- Will Rogers
One thing we got to be thankful for our Soldiers can win wars faster than our Diplomats can talk us into them, -- Will Rogers
Common sense ain't common. -- Will Rogers
If we took Congress seriously, we would be worrying all the time. -- Will Rogers
It's almost worth the Great Depression to learn how little our big men know. -- Will Rogers
Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word. -- Will Rogers
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. -- Will Rogers
Just be glad you're not getting all the government you're paying for -- Will Rogers
Plans get you into things but you've got to work your way out. -- Will Rogers
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. -- Will Rogers
Every time we have an election, we get in worse men and the country keeps right on going. Times have proven only one thing and that is you can't ruin this country even with politics. -- Will Rogers
There is only one redeeming thing about this whole election. It will be over at sundown, and let everybody pray that it's not a tie, for we couldn't go through with this thing again. -- Will Rogers
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. -- Will Rogers
What's the matter with the world? Why, there ain't nothing but one word wrong with everyone of us, and that's selfishness. -- Will Rogers
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years. -- Will Rogers
Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right? -- Will Rogers
We may elevate ourselves but we should never reach so high that we would every forget those who helped us get there. -- Will Rogers
This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one. -- Will Rogers
America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing. -- Will Rogers
Things ain't what they used to be and never were. -- Will Rogers
The best thing about this group of candidates
is that only one of them can win. -- Will Rogers
This thing about getting rid of a man in the Cabinet is all right, but there is one bad feature to it that few people realize. That is, that unfortunately every one of them is replaced by someone else. If it wasn't for that, this resignation business would be great. -- Will Rogers
Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more. -- Will Rogers
You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old Pilgrims praying when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for. -- Will Rogers
You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand. -- Will Rogers
I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money. -- Will Rogers
If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week -- Will Rogers
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees. -- Will Rogers
A country can get more real joy out of just hollering for their freedom than they can if they get it. -- Will Rogers
We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get morefor not working than you will for working, and morefor not raising a hog than for raising it. -- Will Rogers
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. -- Will Rogers
Don't invite me if you don't want me. -- Will Rogers
The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over. -- Will Rogers
Parades should be classed as a Nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison. They stop more work, inconvenience more people, stop more traffic, cause more accidents, entail more expense, and commit and cause I don't remember the other hundred misdemeanors. -- Will Rogers
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? -- Will Rogers
Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance. -- Will Rogers
I guess there is no two races of people in worse repute with everybody than the international bankers, and the folks that put all those pins in new shirts. -- Will Rogers
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. -- Will Rogers
The Democrats and the Republicans are equally corrupt where money is concerned. It's only in the amount where the Republicans excel. -- Will Rogers
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. -- Will Rogers
Politics pretty quiet over the week-end. Democrats are attacking and the Republicans are defending. All the Democrats have to do is promise "what they would do if they got in." But the Republicans have to promise "what they would do" and then explain why they haven't already "done it". -- Will Rogers
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. -- Will Rogers
Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start out that life with a disappontment. Live your life so that whenever you lose you are ahead. -- Will Rogers
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. -- Will Rogers
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. -- Will Rogers
Horses raise what the farmer eats and eats what the farmer raises. You can't plow the ground and get gasoline. -- Will Rogers
There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. -- Will Rogers
I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. -- Will Rogers
Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair. -- Will Rogers
I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes-I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em -- Will Rogers
Nothing you can't spell will ever work. -- Will Rogers
This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to pay the fiddler. -- Will Rogers
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. -- Will Rogers
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. -- Will Rogers
Don't wait to buy land, buy land and wait. -- Will Rogers
In time of crisis people want to know that you care, more than they care what you know -- Will Rogers
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on Earth. -- Will Rogers
Even if you are on the right track, but just sit there, you will still get run over. -- Will Rogers
There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. -- Will Rogers
If all the time consumed in attending dinners and luncheons was consumed in some work, the production of this country would be doubled -- Will Rogers
I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it. -- Will Rogers
People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same. -- Will Rogers
They call it the Latin Quarter because nobody there is Latin and nobody has a quarter. -- Will Rogers
If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world. -- Will Rogers
We live in an age of 'urge'. We do nothing till somebody shoves us. -- Will Rogers
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals -- Will Rogers
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. -- Will Rogers
A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read. -- Will Rogers
Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it. -- Will Rogers
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. -- Will Rogers
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs. -- Will Rogers
Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work. -- Will Rogers
In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em. -- Will Rogers
A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched. -- Will Rogers
That's what a Congressman or a Senator is for
to see that too much money don't accumulate in the national Treasury. -- Will Rogers
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother. -- Will Rogers
We will never get anywhere with our finances till we pass a law saying ... every time we appropriate something, we ... pass another bill ... stating where the money is coming from. -- Will Rogers
Steak on the plate went up. Steak on the hoof went down. -- Will Rogers
We have killed more people celebrating our independence day than we lost fighting for it. -- Will Rogers
If you don't have malice in our heart, it doesn't come across harsh. -- Will Rogers
Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and every kind of animal in the world will drift in for refreshments. -- Will Rogers
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. -- Will Rogers
We'll show the world we are prosperous if we have to go broke to do it. -- Will Rogers
I belong to no organized political body. I am a Democrat. -- Will Rogers
I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else ... I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. -- Will Rogers
There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. -- Will Rogers
There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again -- Will Rogers
One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not. -- Will Rogers
A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does. -- Will Rogers
I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din. -- Will Rogers
There are three types of men in the world. One type learns from books. One type learns from observations. And one type just has to urinate on the electric fence himself. -- Will Rogers
Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago. -- Will Rogers
Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. -- Will Rogers
All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself. -- Will Rogers
Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill. -- Will Rogers
Nothing makes a man broad-minded like adversity. -- Will Rogers
The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so. -- Will Rogers
The best way out of a difficulty is through it. -- Will Rogers
You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver. -- Will Rogers
We are the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poorhouse in an automobile. -- Will Rogers
Don't raise anything, except what fits your appetite. Then the price don't worry you. Just raise all you can eat and let the low prices go by. -- Will Rogers
The minute a thing is long and complicated, it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept, but they are understood. -- Will Rogers
If a bank fails in China, they behead the men at the top of it that was responsible ... If we beheaded all of ours that were responsible for bank failures, we wouldn't have enough people left to bury the heads. -- Will Rogers
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. -- Will Rogers
We have the best Congress that money can buy. -- Will Rogers
More men have been elected between Sundown and Sunup than ever were elected between Sunup and Sundown. -- Will Rogers
So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give! -- Will Rogers
It wasn't what we needed then that was hurting us, it was what we was paying for that we had already used up. The country was just buying gasoline for a leaky tank. Everything was going into a gopher hole and you couldent see where you was going to get any of it back. -- Will Rogers
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. -- Will Rogers
Everyone wants to vote for the best and most qualified man, but he never runs for office. -- Will Rogers
Harvard students have completed more English courses and less forward passes than any school in this generation. -- Will Rogers
Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's common practice. -- Will Rogers
While the Republicans are smart enough to make money, the Democrats are smart enough to get in office every two or three times a century and take it away from 'em. -- Will Rogers
Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along! -- Will Rogers
There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable. -- Will Rogers
I don't know how a lot of these nations existed as long as they have till we could get some of our people around and show 'em how to be good and pure like us. -- Will Rogers
I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage. -- Will Rogers
And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one. -- Will Rogers
We all joke about Congress but we can't improve on them. Have you noticed that no matter who we elect, he is just as bad as the one he replaces? -- Will Rogers
It's almost been worth this depression to find out how little our big men know. -- Will Rogers
The sales tax is the best and most equitable tax. The gasoline tax, which is nothing but a sales tax, has proven painless, productive and punitive. Everything we buy should have its equal proportion of tax, outside of cheap food and cheap clothes. -- Will Rogers
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. -- Will Rogers
We are all ignorant. We are just ignorant about different things. -- Will Rogers
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. -- Will Rogers
Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out. -- Will Rogers
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. -- Will Rogers
Democrats always were a cheap lot. They never had much money to operate on ... They would rather make a speech than a dollar. They cultivate their voice instead of their finances. -- Will Rogers
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. -- Will Rogers
Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime. -- Will Rogers
Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat. -- Will Rogers
Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it. -- Will Rogers
If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry. -- Will Rogers
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. -- Will Rogers
If you got a dollar, soak it away, put it in a savings bank, bury it, do anything but spend it. Spending when we didn't have it put us where we are today. Saving when we've got it will get us back to where we was before we went cuckoo. -- Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -- Will Rogers
It looks to me like the candidates are trying to relieve the farmer of his vote, instead of his debts. -- Will Rogers
If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why ... we would be O.K. -- Will Rogers
I would rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it. -- Will Rogers
You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary. -- Will Rogers
You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!. -- Will Rogers
People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please. -- Will Rogers
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite. -- Will Rogers
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. -- Will Rogers
If you let women have their way, you will generally get even with them in the end. -- Will Rogers
The only thing that can stop hair from falling ... is the floor. -- Will Rogers
Broad-minded is just another way of saying a fellow is too lazy to form an opinion. -- Will Rogers
Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. -- Will Rogers
The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat. -- Will Rogers
There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood. -- Will Rogers
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse. -- Will Rogers
I am always going to do my best, no matter where I am. -- Will Rogers
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. -- Will Rogers
It's great to be great, but its greater to be human. -- Will Rogers
If your Income Taxes go to help out the less fortunate, there could be no legitimate kick against it in the world. This is becoming the richest, and the poorest Country in the world. Why? Why, on account of an unequal distribution of the money. -- Will Rogers
I go too fast to see much, only the tops of everything. I've got to prowl slow some time through this country. -- Will Rogers
Things will get better - despite our efforts to improve them. -- Will Rogers
Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. -- Will Rogers
It costs ten times more to govern us than it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good. -- Will Rogers
Just read the farm relief bill. It's just a political version of Einstein's last theory. If a farmer could understand it, he certainly would know more than to farm. He would be a professor at Harvard. -- Will Rogers
I never met a man I didn't get a kind of strange and exciting tingling sensation from. -- Will Rogers
Don't just grab at the first thing that comes along. Know when to refuse something that won't get you anywhere -- Will Rogers
Senators are a never-ending source of amusement, amazement, and discouragement. -- Will Rogers
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggie' until you can find a rock. -- Will Rogers
If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out. -- Will Rogers
You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed. -- Will Rogers
The public perceives there are problems with the water system, and with the efficiency of the system. We need some leadership and to provide expertise in the area of efficiency. -- Will Rogers
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. -- Will Rogers
If you want to be successful, love what you are doing. -- Will Rogers
Don't squat with your spurs on. -- Will Rogers
The United States never lost a war or won a conference. -- Will Rogers
I never met a man that I didn't like. -- Will Rogers
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. -- Will Rogers
Work to make a living; serve to make a life. -- Will Rogers
Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people that they don't like. -- Will Rogers
The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. -- Will Rogers
Every guy looks in his pocket and then votes. -- Will Rogers
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. -- Will Rogers
Politicians, after all, are not over a year behind public opinion. -- Will Rogers
If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. -- Will Rogers
Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb -- Will Rogers
If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives. -- Will Rogers
Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it. -- Will Rogers
Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office. -- Will Rogers
It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered. -- Will Rogers
Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper. -- Will Rogers
We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good. -- Will Rogers
Our public men are speaking every day on something, but they ain't saying anything. -- Will Rogers
I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce. -- Will Rogers
It's a good thing the American people aren't getting all the government they're paying for. -- Will Rogers