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DO NOT STARE AT THE FROG. -- William Ritter
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I know you might think it pointless, but I just wish I could fix it. It's bad enough to bungle things professionally and . . . well . . . romantically. It would be nice if I could at least get a friendship right. -- William Ritter
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But trust me, men are never worth it. Behind every great man is a woman who gave up on greatness and tied herself into an apron. Romance is for saps, Abbie. You're sharp and you've got pluck. Don't waste it. -- William Ritter
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I guess I forgot about being frightened because it felt good to finally be in the adventure. -- William Ritter
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Detective work is neither a happy nor a satisfying business, Miss Rook," said Jackaby, settling in as the amber buildings sailed past our window. "Marlowe will understand." "I don't understand at all." Commissioner Marlowe kept his voice low and even as we sat across from him the following morning. -- William Ritter
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R.F. JACKABY
INVESTIGATIVE SERVICES
ASSISTANT WANTED
-$8 PER WEEK-
Must be literate and possess a keen intellect and open mind.
Strong stomach preferred.
Inquire at 926 Augur Lane.
Do not stare at the frog. -- William Ritter
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Rook, I should think it obvious." He smiled broadly. "I'm famously important. -- William Ritter
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To the attention of the New Fiddleham Police Department: You've got my middle-C, and I would like it back.

...

Please return Jackaby's tuning fork. He's getting even more obnoxious than usual. -- William Ritter
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I'm beginning to think a dictionary would have been a far more advantageous birthday gift for you."
"More advantageous than being eaten alive by a giant, carnivorous bunny? Yes, most things fall in that category, I think. -- William Ritter
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Oh good God! You stared at the frog, didn't you? -- William Ritter
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I can see why you're fond of Jackaby."
"Hah! He's as rare a breed as they come-that's the truth!"
Jackaby rolled his eyes. -- William Ritter
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Happiness is bliss - but ignorance is anesthetic, and in the face of what's to come, that may be all we can hope for our ill-fated acquaintances. -- William Ritter
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All exceptional people are, by definition, exceptions to the norm. If we insist on being ordinary, we can never be truly extraordinary. -- William Ritter
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There is something humbling about knowing that an entity capable of moving mountains and reshaping continents still takes the time to tend to the smallest patch of dirt. Little things matter. Footsteps matter. -- William Ritter
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Pavel. The pale man. The vampire. We talked. He didn't murder me horribly, no thanks to you. You were chasing after children at the time. - Abigail, to Jackaby -- William Ritter
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Oh no. He looks half-dead." Charlie's face paled as he eyed the trapper's wrist and the blood-soaked bandages.
"Indeed." Jackaby nodded. "And if we don't get him some proper attention soon, he'll be all dead. -- William Ritter
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It's not about the treasure - it's about the hunt. - Abigail -- William Ritter
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I whispered across the bars to Jackaby as I rose, "Shall I tell them the truth?"
"Have you killed anyone?" he asked, quietly.
"No, of course not!"
"Then I can't imagine why you shouldn't. -- William Ritter
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I quickly turned my thoughts away from my mother's overbearing prudence before I might accidentally see reason in it. -- William Ritter
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Monsters are easy, Miss Rook. They're monsters. But a monster in a suit? That's basically just a wicked man, and a wicked man is a more dangerous thing by far. -- William Ritter
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The overall affect of the man was just a shade subtler than a sandwich board with the words BETTER THAN YOU written out in big block letters. -- William Ritter
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Commissioner Marlowe stood on the platform with his arms crossed as we disembarked. He had the cheerful demeanor of someone who has been beaten about the face all night with a sock full of porridge--only even more so than usual. -- William Ritter
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Is it...Richard Frederic?"
"No, and I am not going to--"
"Russell Francis?"
"No. You're being--"
"Rumpelstiltskin Finnegan?"
Jackaby sighed. "Yes, Miss Rook. Rumpelstiltskin. You've found me out. I am the devious imp of the fairy tales. -- William Ritter
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I wondered which was sadder, leaving someone to cry after you were gone, or not having anyone who would miss you in the first place -- William Ritter
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I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office. -- William Ritter
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But you - you notice mailboxes and wastebaskets and... and people. One who can see the ordinary is extraordinary indeed, Abigail Rook. - Jackaby -- William Ritter
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No?" Jackaby tilted his head in mock sympathy. "It must be so dismal being you." "Only in present company," I teased back. -- William Ritter
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This world is full of dragon-slayers. What we need are a few more people who aren't too proud to listen to a few fish. -- William Ritter
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The trick about falling is to catch yourself before you hit the dirt. -- William Ritter
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It's all about perspective, I suppose. As a rule, all of the various ogre breeds are on their best behavior here at the market." "This one looks as though he would like to break that rule." I swallowed. "He looks as though he would like to break it across my face. -- William Ritter
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The only paths you can't travel are the ones you block yourself--so don't let the fear of failure stop you from trying in the first place. -- William Ritter
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I might be better prepared to slay dragons, I decided, than to flirt with boys. -- William Ritter
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The fish had kittens? -- William Ritter
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The greatest figures in history are never the ones who avoid failure, but those who march chin-up through countless failures, one after the next, until they come upon the occasional victory. -- William Ritter
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Make sure she doesn't go touching all the evidence." "Make sure she doesn't go touching the scraps of blood and gore that used to be a sweet little baby goat?" I asked. "Yes," said Jackaby frankly. "That." "I -- William Ritter
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The real powers at play never take center stage. Don't follow the marionette, follow the strings. -- William Ritter
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Then again, if you opinions on women prevent me from carrying out my work, then I would be more than happy to suggest a place for you to stuff them... You're the bos... but YOU seem to be the brains. It's Abigail Rook, yes? Mind if I call you Abbie? Lovely. - Nellie -- William Ritter
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I prefer to look after myself, ma'am, but thank you. I appreciate your concern for my well-being, but some of us have more pressing matters to attend to than practicing our curtsies and turning foolishly sized bonnets into topiaries. -- William Ritter
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Kindness is an act of bravery, I think, just as hatred is an act of fear. I'm -- William Ritter
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I guess I do tend to leave an impression." - Jackaby
"More like a smoldering crater." - Bertram
...
"You've done something with the front garden, haven't you?" - Jackaby
"Yes," said Spade. "We've let it grow back. -- William Ritter
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He had the cheerful demeanor of someone who has been beaten about the face all night with a sock full of porridge - only -- William Ritter
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It wasn't that I did not believe in ghosts; it was that I believed in them in the same noncommittal way that I believed in giant squids or lucky coins or Belgium. They were things that probably existed, but I had never given any occasion to really care one way or another. -- William Ritter
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Names have power... And he kept the one I gave him. My dear, sweet Jackaby. - Eleanor -- William Ritter
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illusions, so many masks and facades. All the world's a stage, as they say, and I seem to have the only seat in the house with a view behind the curtain. -- William Ritter
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Don't feel too bad" I offered. "I met him face-to-face, and I missed it, too."
"Yes, but no one expected you to be clever Miss Rook."
"Thanks for that," I said -- William Ritter
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I have ceased concerning myself with how things look to others, Abigail Rook. I suggest you do the same. In my experience, others are generally wrong. -- William Ritter
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My brick. My house. My whole wide world. -- William Ritter
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It is the ugliest aspect of human nature that we fear what is most different from ourselves with such violent contempt. -- William Ritter
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batch. They were stones. She's always doing that sort of thing. Protecting the city from the demons in her head. -- William Ritter
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Does this smell like paprika or gunpowder to you? -- William Ritter
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We are not the policy department, except for those of us who are," Jackaby revised. -- William Ritter
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I excused myself to go see a duck about a dress. -- William Ritter
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I think you must be a bit confused," he said. "But don't feel bad - it's a common state. Most people are. -- William Ritter
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I prefer preparedness to a last-moment scramble, thank you." We -- William Ritter
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He's quite mad, you know. But adventure can be very appealing. -- William Ritter
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That the battles are usually in her head does not lessen the bravery of it. The hardest ones always are. -- William Ritter
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Maybe if you would bother reading a book once in a while instead of hurling them about every chance you get, you would have put the pieces together yourself by now -- William Ritter
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I found a hat." "Your mind is both fascinating and infuriating, Miss Rook. -- William Ritter
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It isn't every day you celebrate a successful solar revolution. -- William Ritter
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I'm beginning to think a dictionary would have been a far more advantageous birthday gift for you."br />"More advantageous than being eaten alive by a giant, carnivorous bunny? Yes, most things fall in that category, I think. -- William Ritter