Explore the most impactful and insightful quotes and sayings by W.s. Gilbert, and enrich your perspective with the wisdom. Share these inspiring W.s. Gilbert quotes pictures with your friends on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, completely free. Here are the top 92 W.s. Gilbert quotes for you to read and share.

W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000001112
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000004805
Who knows but we may count among our intellectual chickens
Like them an Earl of Thackeray and p'raps a Duke of
Dickens -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000020741
When in that House MPs divide/If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000023431
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:
I'm a genuine philanthropist
all other kinds are sham.
Each little fault of temper and each social defect
In my erring fellow creatures, I endeavor to correct. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000043287
What though I cannot meet my bills?
What though I suffer toothache's ills?
What though I swallow countless pills? -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000046992
When the enterprising burglar isn't burgling; When the cut-throat isn't occupied in crime; He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling; And listen to the merry village chime. -- W.s. Gilbert
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There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp;
When they asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,
But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000106047
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000125496
If your master is surly, from getting up early
(And tempers are short in the morning),
An inopportune joke is enough to provoke
Him to give you, at once, a month's warning. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000156121
Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold,
And the mate of the Nancybrig,
And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite,
And the crew of the captain's gig! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000170979
Life is a joke that's just begun. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000199577
The happiest hour a sailor sees Is when he's down At an inland town, With his Nancy on his knees, yo ho! And his arm around her waist! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000273963
He led his regiment from behind. He found it less exciting. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000316994
I shall carry to the Catacombs of Age,
Photographically lined
On the tablet of my mind -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000341124
After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000429721
I accept refreshment at any hands, however lowly. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000431040
As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta "H.M.S. Pinafore," in the words of W. S. Gilbert: "Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream." -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000437244
Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your
languid spleen,
An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a
not-too-French French bean! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000443925
I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000457195
Oh, dry the glistening tear that dues that marshal cheek
Thy loving childern here in them thy comfort seek
With sympathetic care their arms around the creep,
For oh they can not bear to see their father weep -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000460041
No good play is a success; fine writing and high morals are useless on the stage. I have been scribbling twaddle for thirty-five years to suit the public taste, and I should know. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000464657
Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000487285
Oh! a private buffoon is a light-hearted loon,
If you listen to popular rumour;
From morning to night he's so joyous and bright,
And he bubbles with wit and good humour! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000491416
I've an irritating chuckle, I've a celebrated sneer,
I've an entertaining snigger, I've a fascinating leer;
To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two;
I can tell a woman's age in half a minute
and I do -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000538592
In all the woes that curse our race there is a lady in the case. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000554078
CHORUS
What, never?

CAPTAIN
No, never!

CHORUS
What, never?

CAPTAIN
Well, hardly ever! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000560561
See how the Fates their gifts allot, For A is happy-B is not. Yet B is worthy, I dare say, Of more prosperity than A. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000579821
To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock
in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock
awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock
from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000583630
This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter
Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter,
This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter
Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter,
matter, matter, matter, matter, matter,
matter, matter, matter, matter, matter! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000603650
Father, I am welling over with limpid joy! No sicklying taint of sorrow overlies the lucid lake of liquid love, upon which, hand in hand, Aline and I are to float into eternity! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000604410
Roll on, thou ball, roll on!
Through pathless realms of Space -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000635982
On my face extended flat
I was walloped with a cat
For listening at the key-hole of the door. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000656855
When you are lying awake with a dismal headache, and repose is tabooed by anxiety, I conceive you may use any language you choose to indulge in without impropriety. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000663139
Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest:
Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers:
Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest,
And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000695520
When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000772119
Gilbert's response to being told they (the words 'ruddy' and 'bloody') meant the same thing was: Not at all, for that would mean that if I said that I admired your ruddy countenance, which I do, I would be saying that I liked your bloody cheek, which I don't. -- W.s. Gilbert
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Let the punishment fit the crime. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000903756
I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand: Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000903935
I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000912181
Things are seldom what they seem. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000913603
I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000916226
I am the Captain of the Pinafore ; And a right good captain too! ... And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea! Then give three cheers, and one cheer more, For the hardy Captain of the Pinafore! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000970216
Life's a pudding full of plums. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 000972219
Utopia's quite another land;
In her enterprising movements,
She is England
with improvements -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001014442
When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001031310
A man is but an ass
Who fights in a cuirass -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001057985
A popular speaker, however unpopular and insignificant, has only to wind up his speech with half-a-dozen lines of Shakespeare (and to make it clearly understood that they are Shakespeare's) and he will sit down amid thunders of applause. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001127295
Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001141919
Posterity shall know of me even less than I shall know of posterity. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001147094
The meaning doesn't matter if it's only idle chatter of a transcendental kind. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001168347
When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001188833
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's
Elderly ugly daughter. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001217230
Spurn not the nobly born with love affected; nor treat with virtuous scorn the well connected. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001230899
I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001244777
Wafted by a favouring gale
As one sometimes is in trances,
To a height that few can scale,
Save by long and weary dances -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001248545
Poverty is obsolete and hunger is abolished -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001263792
Posterity will know as little of me as I know of posterity. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001268062
If the jests that you crack have an orthodox smack,
You may get a bland smile from these sages;
But should it, by chance, be imported from France,
Half-a-crown is stopped out of your wages! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001303846
There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001375112
It's true I've got no shirts to wear;
It's true my butcher's bill is due;
It's true my prospects all look blue
But don't let that unsettle you -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001403423
The Law is the true embodiment of everything that's excellent; it has no kind of fault or flaw and I, my Lords, embody the Law. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001423486
We yield at once with humbled mien,
Because, with all our faults, we love our Queen. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001427772
Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001468244
Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001481974
I often think it's comical
How Nature always does contrive
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001508045
Ah, pray no mistake, We are not shy; We're very wide awake The Moon and I. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001519572
I know everybody's income and what everybody earns,
And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001520460
Every Jack
He must study the knack
If he wants to make sure of his Jill! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001536606
My object all sublime I shall achieve in time- To let the punishment fit the crime- The punishment fit the crime. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001549807
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001551229
If I can wheedle
A knife or a needle,
Why not a Silver Churn? -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001564086
Isn't your life extremely flat,With nothing to grumble at? -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001564573
Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001567806
I am an acquired taste. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001614646
In short, whoever you may be, To this conclusion you'll agree, When every one is somebodee, Then no one's anybody! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001628584
A policeman's lot is not a happy one -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001629177
I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother. -- W.s. Gilbert
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All bayonets are bad. -- W.s. Gilbert
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The privilege and pleasure That we treasure beyond measure Is to run on little errands for the Ministers of State. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001720053
The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001729197
Strike the concertina's melancholy string!
Blow the spirit-stirring harp like any thing!
Let the piano's martial blast
Rouse the Echoes of the Past -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001737495
Society has quite forsaken all her wicked courses,
Which empties our police courts, and abolishes divorces. -- W.s. Gilbert
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Life's perhaps the only riddle That we shrink from giving up. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747078
Sing 'Hey to you - good-day to you'
Sing 'Bah to you - ha! ha! to you'
Sing 'Booh to you - pooh, pooh to you'
And that's what you should say! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747079
For duty, duty must be done; The rule applies to everyone. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747080
If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747081
Bless your heart, they don't mind
they're exceedingly
kind
They don't blame you
as long as you're funny! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747082
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist
I don't think she'd be missed
I'm sure she'd not be
missed! -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747083
Bind up their wounds - but look the other way. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747084
Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747085
Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever. -- W.s. Gilbert
W.s. Gilbert Quotes : pic 001747086
It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. -- W.s. Gilbert