Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Claus. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Claus Quotes And Sayings by 85 Authors including Fredrik Backman,David Sedaris,Rachel Cohn,Dr. Seuss,Hiroshi Sakurazaka for you to enjoy and share.
I am the ghost of Christmas futures, George!
We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan ... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the Satan for the world Santa.
What an idiot Santa is for flying around alone. Because who would want to travel the world without another person's heartbeat beside him?
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!
The armored infantry was Santa Claus, the battle was out Christmas. What else for the elves to do on Christmas Eve but to let their hair down and drink a a little eggnog.
It's a foolish girl who waits for Santa.
'Do you give all of the men in your life a murder case for Christmas, or just the really special ones?
The thought of Christmas overwhelms him. He no longer looks forward to the holiday; he wants only to be on the other side of the season. His impatience makes him feel that he is incontrovertibly, finally, an adult.
Sire, I am my own Rudolph of Hapsburg.
Santa blows all these shipping companies away. He delivers more than 2 billion packages in just 24 hours. He does it by sleigh. He doesn't use tracking numbers and doesn't use trucks. He just uses midgets and a giant bag.
Basher shook his head. "No, we climbed in through a ground-floor guest bedroom all ninja-like. Snuck up the back stairs."
"Then you might be the cavalry," said Tom, "but I'm Santa Claus. Let's go downstairs and open some presents.
This I've learned in life: If you don't believe in Santa Claus, he can't bring you any presents.
It's all fun and games until the drunk Viking Santa shows up.
I am here, and he is here, and everything I need to know is that I will hold him and he will hold me until I am warm again, until I know I belong. (Your Temporary Santa)
Christmas a humbug, uncle!" said Scrooge's nephew. "You don't mean that, I am sure?"
"I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? what reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
Adverse winds are holding mad Christmas in him, boys.
Christmas Eve Saint Francis and Saint Benedight Blesse this house from wicked wight; From the night-mare and the goblin, That is hight good fellow Robin: Keep it from all evil spirits, Fairies, weezels, rats, and ferrets: From curfew time To the next prime.
On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.
We can _start_ making Christmas and Santa can finish up.
Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.
To the top of the tower, to the top of the wall! Now fart away, fart away, fart away all!" Santa cried, and then the reindeer took off running over the lawn. Suddenly, they all let out a giant reindeer fart, and Santa's sleigh flew up into the air!
An entire gullible nation believed faithfully in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really the Gasman.
This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found.
Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus.
Santa Claus ran his finger across the rough parchment, lightly tracing the inscription below. "Charity unto others brings its own reward," he whispered.
I felt like I had just double-tapped Santa.
At the outer door to bestow the greetings of the season on the clerk, who, cold as he was, was warmer than Scrooge; for he returned them cordially. "There's another fellow," muttered Scrooge; who overheard him: "my clerk, with fifteen
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.
I mean, I don't think I would call Claus to do an album of big band tunes. You know, just like arrangers write for the artist they have in mind; you have to keep in mind if you're going to work with Claus Ogerman. You invite him to do what he does.
Merry Christmas! the man threatened.
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!
It sounded a bit like his mother, a woman who'd lied to him about the existence of Santa Claus and was therefore not to be trusted on matters of any importance.
The Santa myth is one of the most effective means ever devised for intimidating children, eroding their self- esteem, twisting their behavior, warping their values, and slowing their development of critical thinking skills.
Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.
When I was 21 years old, I had a job playing Santa Claus in a shopping centre in Sacramento. I was rail thin, so it's not like I was a traditional Santa Claus even then. I had a square stomach; that was the shape of the sofa cushion that I had stuffed into my pants.
Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.
Santa Claus and all his little presents tend to get in the way of God's message."
"As can religion," Santa replied.
I've survived a winter in Siberia when I was ten."
"What were you doing in a Siberia at ten years old?" Boyd asked dubiously.
"Searching for Santa Claus" (Sin)
A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!" cried a cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooge's nephew, who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his approach. "Bah!" said Scrooge, "Humbug!
If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should.
The nutcracker sits under the holiday tree, a guardian of childhood stories. Feed him walnuts and he will crack open a tale ...
Some stupid fairy tale charecter. Like a cheap plastic toy you'd get get by sending in the top of a lucky charms box plus $3.99 shipping and handling.
Radar threw his books into his locker and shut it. Then the din of conversation around us quieted just a bit as he turned his eyes toward the heavens and shouted, IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT MY PARENTS OWN THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF BLACK SANTAS.
Sergeant Stephan Schneider
Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
More weapons hidden on his body than hallelujah-singing angels, dangling from a Christmas tree.
If SANTA CLAUS came down the chimney in a f**king jogging suit, you wouldn't even know it was him.
George Martin looks like Santa Claus, but he's got a wonderfully disturbed mind.
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus.
You're upsetting the black Santas.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
I keep three hoes, But don't'call me Santa
Sin: I've survived a winter in Siberia when I was ten.
Boyd: what were you doing there at ten years old?
Sin: searching for Santa Claus.
Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more.
[It's Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus,] is a fun read and a twist on Christmas, because it does involve Santa Claus and Jesus, and it doesn't say that Santa Claus is bad, but it's the child explaining to Santa Claus the true reason for the season is Jesus.
Nick chided a censor, who wished some books gone, and suggested she scan Fahrenheit 451. For the book-budget cutters, Old Claus had no plan, cause if they could read, they just read Ayn Rand.
We may deny the truth of our childhoods while we are living them, but we one day realize the truth of our parents as readily as we do that of Santa. Neither are as perfect as our memories would have them ...
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
Mayor: How horrible our Christmas will be!
Jack Skellington: *No.*
[the Mayor switches to his upset face]
Jack Skellington: How *jolly*!
Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be
He took the Who's feast, he took the Who pudding, he took the roast beast. He cleaned out that ice box as quick as a flash. Why, the Grinch even took their last can of Who hash.
Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.
God? Nope." requel's smile told me she was joking around to make this easier for me "santa clause? No again.
mulcted of his presents, but they were given
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The wonder of Christmas is that the God Who lived with us can now live within us.
What's going on here?" Miles demanded, pushing his way past the last of the stampeding throng. "And why is Santa worshiping that elf?
He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa.
After you stop believing in santa claus, the whole world just goes downhill
I liked Christmas and this was Christmassy enough for us. Ellie and Adam's flat looked like Santa had dropped around for a party, had too much to drink and puked up Christmas everywhere.
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.
Christmas is sights, especially the sights of Christmas reflected in the eyes of a child.
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority.
In a fit of Christmas spirit, Kaden had equipped her with a red and green holiday collar, complete with several jingle bells.
Their own little pornographic elf.
Q: Which one of Santa's reindeer is the cleanest? A: Comet!
Whose heart doth hold the Christmas glow Hath little need of Mistletoe; Who bears a smiling grace of mien Need waste no time on wreaths of green; Whose lips have words of comfort spread Needs not the holly-berries red - His very presence scatters wide The spirit of the Christmastide.
THE DOLLS' CHRISTMAS
He had done nothing on Christmas day, just wandered around outside in the frozen woods. Hard ground, chill winds and bare branches that looked like they'd been dipped in sugar. None of it seemed real, like walking around in a desolate dream, but one he didn't want to wake up from.
I keep 3 hos but don't call me Santa And I'm and I'm flyer than reindeers in winter
In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?
Z: "You know, this was a hell of a lot easier when you were out cold in the back of that truck."
Phury: "That was you?"
Z:"You think it was Santa Claus or some shit?
Charles Talent Manx the Third at your service, my dear! CEO of Christmasland Enterprises, director of Christmasland Entertainment, president of fun! Also His Eminence, the King Shit of Turd Hill, although it doesn't say that on my card.
MOM: Fuck santa. If I had a million little elves helping me and random people feeding me cookies, I'd be jolly all the time too.
Christmas Eve I saw a stable, low and very bare, A little child in a manger. The oxen knew Him, had Him in their care, To men He was a stranger, The safety of the world was lying there, And the world's danger.
The Santa Claus principle liquidates itself.
I thought you were all-seeing."
All-knowing, not all-seeing!" he snapped. "I'm a God, not Santa Claus!
Department store Santas are apparently being trained to lower children's expectations about toys because of the recession. Yeah, it's weird when you ask Santa for a train set and he's like, 'Yeah, how 'bout a bus token?
I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
Vivi held up the front page of the New York Times, pointing out the headline: 'The Grinch Who Killed Christmas.'
"Way to go, Grinch,
Christmas music fills our ears with tales of a Palestinian miracle birth, a generous Turkish saint whom the Dutch dressed in a red suit, and a Druid ceremonial tree ... I
You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?"
"I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate but ignored childhood letters.
Christmas is not only where you find it; it's what you make of it.
This is the wonder of Christmas, that in the solitary form of an impoverished infant God has handed me everything that I could never create so that I can be everything that I could never be.
The tree screamed Jingle Bells and the snow whispered Silent Night, but for the first time in her life she felt strangely Grinch-like.
It was the night before Christmas.
And, like Christmas, Armand has brought gifts. But he is no fat, sweet Santa Claus who rewards the nice; he is the Lord of Misrule, the Abbot of Unreason in charge of scandalous fun.
Kids believe in Santa; adults believe in childhood.