Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Farted. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Farted Quotes And Sayings by 95 Authors including Rebecca Loos,Peyton Manning,Jennifer L. Armentrout,Adam Carolla,Stephen Leacock for you to enjoy and share.
I have never farted in front of a guy I fancied before - I was so embarrassed!.
I don't usually stink, but I stunk
let out a breath I didn't know I was holding
When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
broke into a blaze of effulgence.
You gotta fart, Jayne. You've gotta break the spell. Fart for all you're worth! Let your butt sing!
Sounds like your life just let out a bunch of bad farts.
A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note.
It's so Quite around here, I'm sure I heard a Bird Fart!
Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.
toilet-papered your house!
cereal and went out into the
First I showered off that horrible butt smell you get from being on an airplane. [p. 257]
that palpable odor pumped out through the
I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
The rooms were small and airless and cramped. To make matters worse, somebody in our group was making the most dreadful silent farts. Fortunately, it was me, so I wasn't nearly as bothered as the others.
She tried discreetly to squint and instead came off looking as if she had discreetly farted.
Bolts of energy swirled in the air and streamed into Dave's butt. Dave sneezed ... No. He farted through his nose.
We were supposed to be brainstorming. But, unfortunately, my brain was farting.
Save Gas, Fart in a Jar.
My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.
When I was at school I got lines for dropping a big squelchy, loud fart. My teacher, who was a priest, made me write 'I must not fart in class' 100 times. I left that school shortly afterwards.
Earth's flaming farts, it worked!
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and you're on your own.
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
a bag of wet farts. But
Some people get lots of pleasure; From books or from music or art; But boys seem to think it's fantastic; To just have a really good fart.
The smell of life." "The smell of farts.
Zart the fart, you start.
You're talking farts, not words!
My gast was pretty well flabbered.
He's only being polite. You should look the word up," Denise settled on.
Ian snorted. "And angels fly out of my arse when I fart."
First Drop of Crimson by Jeaniene Frost
Page 78
My mother inhaled.
It's called ergot. Smell
How would you be able to detect a fart over your natural odor, Sanza?" "For shame," said Galdo. "There's no Sanzas here, remember? I'm an Asino." "Oh yes," said Locke with a yawn. "Yes, you certainly are.
I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
Zart the Fart, you start. There
Humbledrum farted mournfully, three distinct notes.
Have you been sniffing fairy farts?
My pants cut the cheese. Let one fly. Baked a batch of brownies.
It having been a very cold night last night I had got some cold, and so in pain by wind, and a sure precursor of pain is sudden letting off farts, and when that stops, then my passages stop and my pain begins
I went to the bathroom in my pants. That's what you done, man.
He that lives upon hope will die farting.
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.
A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.
I don't usually fly in first class, but I fart in first class.
The impossible happened. Your stomach is full.
He levered himself upright and swung his legs out of bed, put both of his warm feet, into the strategically placed slippers, stood up, yawned, stretched and farted.
I flamed amazement
Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.
the question hung there like an invisible wall of flatulence
prostrate body. He groaned when
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts.
Excrement, meet air-moving device.
He sees, and smells, that the mishap was caused by a large human turd.
a total fucking gas
He had followed the calendar, the years, time-
Bird farted.
And it came to me, as though it were riding one moment of the gusting wind, as though bird had had it in him all the time and had passed it to me in that one moment of instant corruption.
Then I felt like having a piss and I did that
That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.
Warren made bursting noises under the bed. A rancorous stench. Dog Farts Fell Family of Four.
You know why farts smell?" "I don't." "So the deaf can enjoy them too.
There's a place for farts, and there's a place for sharts.
I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.
If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it's like - you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.
I dry heaved, forcing myself to try and not chuck up my guts. I had been f**ked by an insect man.
A fart is not only a political statement; it is also a weapon.
Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.
That has less significance than a dog's fart.
Satiated with the great purposelessness of it, we gently belched nerve gases into the next generation
But then Denny, who was standing in front of her, did the sweetest thing. He farted at her.
I realized that you don't try on a pair of pants, fart in them, and then put them back on the shelf, and the same rough politeness applied here, too. Plain and simple, I bled on it, I bought it.
Normally I laugh at such things, because there is nothing like a fart to lighten up a tense situation.
The smell of perfume left behind. There's not a word for that in English, but Colin knew the French word: sillage.
Just imagine what it was like growing up here," he replied. "Every time I farted, the maid sprayed air freshener.
Said, as if there was never a doubt. I walked around and hugged April so tight she let out a small fart.
We're here on Earth to fart around
Crap on a cracker," I breathed.
Walked around and hugged April so tight she let out a small fart. The both of us cracked up and I fell on the floor in hysterics.
Noses to the wind, we inhaled a farrago of scents: charcoal and jasmine, rotting fruit and eucalyptus, gasoline and ammonia, a swirling belch from the city's poorly irrigated gut.
You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
Breathed like a contestant in a polka marathon, sit-up contest, stationary bike race.
The rectum of Wybo Gerritszoon releases a hot fart of horror.
There is a tremendous amount of farting in prison.
As Tayna would say if I wanted to hear from an ass i would have fart.
Then he lost all coherence and began a hysterical giggle, compounded with a slight twitch and very pronounced emission of saliva from his mouth. When he finally fell silent, the stillness was of that horrified kind that follows a fart in a Methodist church.
You're funny.' Phoebe passed me the last chocolate cupcake. 'And I always thought your friends were laughing over their own farts.'
'Ninety percent of Eastwood's male population laughs over their own farts. Present company excluded, naturally.
Coming and then there wasn't even time for gas and
[the car] backfired a lot. Loud enough that when I drove in the wrong part of town and it let loose with a gas fart, people actually ducked for cover.
After about 30 minutes I puked all over my airplane. I said to my self, "Man, you made a big mistake."
She said her pack died."
"How?"
"She didn't say."
"And you didn't ask?" Thomas' gravelly voice was incredulous.
"It's complicated."
"I'll bet. You stink of sex. Is the reason you haven't asked because you haven't come up for air?
You gazed at the moon and fell in the gutter.
SPIRITUAL FARTS Reverend Michael Beckwith2 tells us that if we simply study and talk about spiritual truths but never actually LIVE the stuff, we're gonna get spiritual indigestion and constipation. Spiritual farts. It's not a pretty thing. Seriously.
His huff arrived and he departed in it.
I burp, I fart. I'm a real woman.
Not another word, not another thought, not another sniffle. If you need to pass gas, I pray you'll clench your backside and keep walking until we are certainly alone.
If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!
into the kitchen and spotted
She had her nose so high in the air she could smell the birds farting.
I stopped and filled my lungs, smelling Africa - smelling dust, woodsmoke, a perfume from a flower, something musty, something decaying.