Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Garfield. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Garfield Quotes And Sayings by 94 Authors including Jules Feiffer,Brandon Mull,Jon Lovitz,Joan Bauer,Douglas Coupland for you to enjoy and share.

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I've never met a cartoonist who isn't quirky or weird in some ways.
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What has three heads, six arms, and half a brain?" Three asked. One and Two answered in unison. "Nate Sutter.
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Woody is the guy who made me want to be a comic. I was in heaven and couldn't stop smiling because he was my idle and 29 years after seeing Take the Money and Run, I was working for him.
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Toys "R" Us. Zack put on a wool cap and sunglasses.
"You look like a bank robber," I observed.
"No toy is safe.
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Jason said, "Yes. Gerard T. Giraffe."
What does the 'T' stand for?"
'The.
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Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see the Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him ...
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I was a big Fred Flintstone fan.
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You know, he would go and look at different funny books because he wanted his character to be different and make different faces. I saw a funny book in his room and it looked like the same character he was playing. It was about a duck.
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Unicorns rule the world
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Cartoons are windows into the human condition,
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Hello George. Hey Martha (Percy) Did you bring us a rat? (George) George, stop it!He's busy! (Martha) Too busy for rats? That's just sad. (George)
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Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Graff-'
'Not Graff,' the big man snapped, looking annoyed. 'The name is Garff-Garff!'
'Say, that's good,' the hunter said. 'Garff-Garff- that's even better than bow-wow. Do you know any other animal imitations?
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Hagrid. You live in a wooden house!
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Comedy mocks the vanity of visions of rational control. The person who can joke amidst a confrontation with evil, like the quick-witted Spider-Man, must be reconciled to the permanent imperfections of a corrupted world populated by fallen creatures.
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When Uncle W. G. held out his hand to take my money, I dropped the dead mouse in his hand.
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A legend - now I am like a unicorn.
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He was a dandy with on eear cocked, a gleam on his claw and a glint in his eye. He sauntered through the market square elegant and tattered, admired and cursed: a highwayman, a gentleman thief. His name was Taggle, for the three kittens had been Raggle, Taggle, and Bone.
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Let's just say that life has me beaten ... So I give up! I admit there's no way I can win ... "
"What is it you want, Charlie Brown?"
"How about two out of three?
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He was a funny old dog. He liked strawberries.
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What kind of movies have you been watching?" asked Ralph with surprised interest. "The kind where girls actually keep their hairpins," said Donald gloomily. "And are useful.
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All cartoonists are geniuses, but Arnold Roth is especially so.
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Grazing around a perfect little stream ahead of them, to their amazement, was a herd of unicorns. They were beautiful: white with silver horns, silver hooves, and silver manes. Conner's
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I had a Super Grover doll growing up. Super Grover was very clumsy, he wasn't very good-looking. But in his own way he'd always save the day.
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Electric, wild, one foot in the swamp. Never going to crawl all the way out. And I wanted to have sex with whatever he was.
(Mac about Barrons)
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I am an evil Giraffe.
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Gaiety is to good-humor as animal perfumes to vegetable fragrance. The one overpowers weak spirits, the other recreates and revives them. Gaiety seldom fails to give some pain; good-humor boasts no faculties which every one does not believe in his own power, and pleases principally by not offending.
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Where the hell is Ralph?
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pony, mashed potato, alligator, watusi, twist, jerk.
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George Burns was a Vaudeville performer I particularly loved.
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I hated Woody Woodpecker and Scooby-Doo, but I was a cartoon freak.
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A stocky zombie with curly orange hair
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Have you seen a unicorn in the woods?"
"I imagine that's next," Jared muttered.
"Right," said Holly. "Well. If the unicorn is pink, about two feet tall, with a sparkly mane, we'll know my imaginary friend is real too.
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Gee-word?"
"Gods. What were you doin' the day they handed out brains, boy, anyway?"
"Someone was telling a story about stealing a tiger's balls, and I had to stop and find out how it ended.
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A rather jolly little pony, quite possibly wearing a straw hat with holes cut out for its ears.
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I, Georgie, am Mr. Bob Gray, also known as Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Pennywise, meet George Denbrough. George, meet Pennywise. And now we know each other. I'm not a stranger to you, and you're not a stranger to me. Kee-rect? " George
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The lost unicorn is in our presence!!
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Margowegottagohomeandtell.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Mr. Wiggles seems
taken with you."
"It tried to urinate on me the other day. I prefer not
to be 'taken' by something like that.
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I am now of all humors that have showed themselves humors
since the old days of goodman Adam to the pupil age of this
present twelve o'clock at midnight.
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As a young girl, if you do something funny - especially if you're Jewish - someone says, 'Oh, have you seen Gilda Radner?'
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Steve Carell, we've been nodding at each other for years now.
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There has been an unwise and spectacularly unsuccessful attempt to grow a goatee, hence a fluffy little tuft of something or other, just underneath the centre of his lower lip, that any mother would want to rub off with a bit of spit.
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The wealthiest and most popular boy at the circumcision school.
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A sarcastic blond genie with a bad attitude.
-Clary, pg.243-
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I got you this. I held out the brown, fluffy bear. To replace Burt. I pulled his eyes off and everything.
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Millie? Does the White Clown love you?
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I have to think as Bugs Bunny, not of Bugs Bunny.
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It was a nephilim."
"A nephi-what?" asked Hugh, startled.
"Isn't that a character on Sesame Street?" Peter spoke up for the first time.
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Do you have a name?" asked Gerta. "I do," said the raven. Gerta waited. The raven fluffed its beard. "I am the Sound of Mouse Bones Crunching Under the Hooves of God."
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Matthew Watkins: I need an afternoon pick-me-up. I accept cash and/or prizes that can be exchanged for cash. Also, hobbits.
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I always think of "Popeye" and "Barney Google" as quintessential comic strips in that old rollicky, slapstick way we've sort of lost.
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Buying gifts for a kid. Can we get him a cute little cape and a mustache so he looks like old Uncle Lando?" Lobot
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Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.
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What's that supposed to be anyway?" said Fred squinting at Dobby's painting. "Looks like a Gibbon with two black eyes!" "It's Harry," said George pointing at the back of the picture. "Says so on the back." "Good likeness," said Fred grinning. Harry threw his new homework diary at him.
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Good Lord, I'm regretting this now," I muttered. "I have never - ever - smelled BO this bad in my life. And I once had s'mores wit a Sasquatch."
"Hang out with him for awhile," Mort gasped. "Eventually it's not so bad."
"Wow. Really?"
"No. Not really.
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We consume everything like potato chips. In this environment, I suspect the cartoonist's connection with readers is likely to be superficial and fleeting, unless he taps into some fervent special interest niche. And that audience, almost by definition, will be tiny.
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...I have a magical duck-kitten.
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He had a curiously stunted sense of humor and loved practical jokes that veered dangerously close to cruelty. Once on a hot day he filled a friend's water jug with kerosene and mirthfully stood by as the friend took a mighty swig. The friend ended up in the hospital.
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What's your name?" was my first question. I couldn't keep calling him Squirty though my pants were proof of the moniker's accurateness.
"James Franco."
"Like the actor?" I couldn't help but ask.
His expression eased into a smile. "Yes, but poorer and uglier.
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Everything today has been heavy and brown. Bring me a Unicorn to ride about the town.
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I wrote my master's thesis on cartoons!
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Gary Larson: The funniest cartoonist I've ever seen. His two-volume set (The Complete Far Side) should be the textbook in any course taught on how to be funny on the comics page.
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My name is Patrick Fitzgerald ... I like to tear the tops off small animals.
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'The Goonies' is the one that everyone either remembers themselves or their children are seeing now.
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A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long a comedy is played out by an incomparable actor.
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The story of how I left Huckleberry begins
as do all worthy stories
with a goat
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You know how you have a good meal and you got gravy left on the plate. The gravy was so good that you don't want to leave it on the plate but you don't want to be a pig about it? So you take your bread and use it to sop up the rest of the gravy. That guy is totally soppable!
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When I was a kid growing up, I used to watch 'DuckTales.'
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Purrrrrrrr" Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. "I hear a Kitty!" Vlad's eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. "You're teasing me!" - Bats
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Stop thinking about Michael," Tuck orders.
"He was cute."
"So is a hairy ferret but I wouldn't want to date one. [ ... ]
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Fitzgerald has charm. It's a silly word, but it's an exact word for me. I like 'The Great Gatsby' and it's sad, gay nostalgia.
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Mayoimashita. Can you help me find my cat? - Watashi
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You planning top kill me with a Wiffle bat?" [Carson asked]
"Yeah."
"Why?" he asked.
The bat was shaking in my tight grip. "Because I don't have my Minnie Mouse pillow.
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Oh unicorn, Oh magic good, Let me laugh as a child should, Let the gift of childhood, Come back to me, For one day, Just, as it should.
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Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!' Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?' Which one do you think?' Bad Vlad?' Good call.
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No, something far more mysterious has taken Felix. He has heard the unicorn." Like a performer, the cat gave a dramatic pause.
"Um," said Lionheart.
"You have no idea what I'm talking about, have you?"
"No, sorry."
"Mortals," growled the cat.
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I'm a goofball and a comedian
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Bugs Bunny with a double-barreled twelve-gauge shoots you in the head with a miracle.
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Goonies are good enough, good enough for me
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Hang on. We're leaving grass for road," Breeze warned.
"Remind me to drive next time," Jinx grumbled. "Slow down!"
"Did you lose your yarn balls, kitten?" Breeze laughed. "This is fun!"
(Jinx is part panther)
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Remember back in forty-four when someone killed that pet parrot of yours? What was his name, Reynold? You know, the only friend you ever had? That was me, George. I fucked it to death then fed it to Goshy.
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Are you okay?"
"Leave me alone, Charlie."
"No, really. What's wrong?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"I could try."
"That's a laugh. That's really a laugh."
"Do you want me to wake up Mom and Dad then?"
"No."
"Well, maybe they could -"
"CHARLIE! SHUT UP! OKAY?! JUST SHUT UP!
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When people ask me what is an editorial cartoonist, I often say we're kind of a hybrid. We're a cross between Edward R. Morrow, Ted Koppel and the Son of Sam.
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Sweet potato fries
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Now I have a shot at being the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic. "The planet Earth?" asks Phineas of - you guessed it - Phineas and Ferb. "Or Mars? We built a portal to Mars for the science fair once.
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Ronnie Barker will forever be remembered as one of the great comic actors.
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I will never write anything better than Homestuck. Nigger farts! Jews: Kill them all.
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Wait, I really do need your help with this." He turned his computer monitor toward her and pointed. "Is this funny? It's a Snoopy/Snoop Dogg thing, and every time Charlie Brown tries to feed him, he's like, 'Thanks, Chizzuck.' ...
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Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!
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What's your name?"
Donald."
Hi, Donald, missed you at the wienie roast.
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Jay Gatsby: Old sport.
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Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that; I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.
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Tonight I've been dealing with a known killer, a male whore, a scam artist and now I've graduated to talking to a mayor. Who's next? The President of the National Association of Rodents?
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Wasn't he the one who sliced off his ear and mailed it to his girlfriend?"
"Van Gogh," said Varen, in a monotone that suggested he might be in pain.
"Van Gogh," Gwen said, leaning away, waving the apple. "Edgar Allan Poe. Close enough!
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Since when do you look at the side of wonder?"
"I'm trying very hard. It's irritating me, but I'm not giving up. I try to think of a wondrous thought every day when I wake, if you'd really like to know."
"Yes, it's very annoying, but slightly contagious.
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Wit is a pleasure-giving thing, largely because it eludes reason; but in the apprehension of an absurdity through the working of the comic spirit there is a foundation of reason, and an impetus to human companionship.
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'Rugrats' was my favorite cartoon growing up as a kid.
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He's just a man names Gatsby.
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Remember it all started by a mouse ... Walt Disney