Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Hahhhh. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Hahhhh Quotes And Sayings by 93 Authors including Naguib Mahfouz,Nicki Minaj,Richard Rider,Seth Dickinson,Reginald Hill for you to enjoy and share.
Laugh till you're exhausted.
I mean, m-m-m-my you're like pelican fly
Ha ha ha. But what if, right, when you come home, what if I ain't wearing nothing but Nutella?"
"Your double negatives make me want to kill you.
Cover your cocks," the men sailors sometimes joked. "They're always hunting sodomites."
"What do they do to sodomites?" Baru asked.
They looked at her with some astonishment. "Hot iron," one said. "Hssssssssss.
Sorry?" said Dalziel turning. "What's that you said?"
He cupped a large hand to a proportionally large ear.
If the buggers get clever, he had once told Pascoe, pretend you can't hear. Then pretend you can't understand. Nothing's funny if it's repeated and explained.
You going to watch my butt all day, or are you going to join me?" asked my mate.
"What if I had said I was going to watch your butt all day?" I asked curiously as I opened the door an stepped into the hot water.
"I've been considering belly-dancing lessons," he told me in a serious voice.
An old philosopher said to Monsieur Coignard, a Reverend Father: 'You are a pig!' To which Abad Coignard answered: 'You flatter me, sir. But unfortunately, I'm only a man.'
Shut up, sod off, and let me in. (Fury)
Hello," said Brannoc politely, despite his terrible hangover.
"What the hell are you?" demanded the squirrel.
"We are fairies," answered Brannoc, and the squirrel fell on the grass laughing, because New York squirrels are cynical creatures and do not believe in fairies.
Becky!" I had to laugh. "You're worse than me! It's no wonder he's such an egomaniac."
"What? You're telling me you can say no to that face?"
I wanted to say yes, but it would have been a lie and we all knew it.
Can you restrain your laughter, my friends?
Hee hee hee!" Nero said. "You children are like three clowns!"
"Ho ho ho!" Count Olaf said.
"Ha ha ha!" Violet said, who was beginning to feel queasy from faking all this laughter.
Report any sightings as they happen." "Will a girly scream work?" Rolf asked. "It's always worked for you in the past," a huge, blond-bearded commando shouted good-naturedly. "Why change now?
I'm not backing down until you talk to me."
"What?" I asked, cupping my hand to my ear. "I can't hear you over the flapping sound of my loose vagina."
The corner of his mouth lifted, and he almost laughed. "Is that what that noise is?" he asked. "I thought it was the air conditioner.
The surprise is on the far side."
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
"It better not be another fairy," Seth said.
"What's the matter with fairies?"
"I've already seen about a billion of them and also they turned me into a walrus.
Nick snatches the picture from the man's hand and laughs. "This is funny to you, asshole?"
Nick tosses the picture back behind him. "No. No, it's not. What is funny is that you believe your whore of a wife."
"Stand up your spineless punk!" The man yells in sheer rage.
Your mother mentioned she had a little girl. These are for you, sweetheart. Just a little something, heh heh."
He handed me a wrinkled paper bag with a grease spot on it. I hate it when you could hear a person's saliva right in their laugh.
And right now, you two jackwagons are right in the middle of my living room and I'm coming to take out the trash.
Give it up, mister! No sex for you!" I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally.
"Tons of sex for me, sister. None for you!" he yelled all too clearly through the wall.
Jolene came bounding into my room at sunset, hopping up and down on the bed, bouncing me off onto the floor. I sat up and glared at her. "Andrea gave you espresso, didn't she?" "Nope!" she crowed. "But she showed me how to work the machine!" "Augh!
Don't stop me now, I'm having such a good time, I'm having a ball
We did. I understand he's an idiot." "And she's horny again. It's easy to spot once you know the signs," Makl stated in a serious voice, not breaking the stare. "She starts haranguing and getting contrary. It's really quite adorable.
Foxy, you made me blow a load in my jeans.
Don't look at me like that," said Guy.
"How am I looking at you?" I asked.
"Like I'm the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Ninja chicken isn't he?" You grinned at me, rolling your sleeves up."We'll see about that."
You reached into the cage. Instantly Dick was onto your hand, clawing at you, biting chunks with his beak.
"Godamn rooster!
Will the devil be home?"
"My grandma is not the devil," Ben said, smiling despite the insult. "Besides, isn't the devil a male?"
"I thought so until I met your grandma. Could you tell her to stop calling me Fatty?"
"You could stand to lose a little weight.
Hey, how 'bout those Cubs'"-the bad male impersonation was back-" 'let's play some golf, smoke some cigars. Here's my penis, there's yours-yep, they appear to be about the same size-okay, lets's do some deals.
Oh dear. I'm turning into a girl.
Some girl named Eva has him convinced that you put out after one beer."
"What?" My voice was as shrill as the ringing tardy bell
"I personally don't believe it" he went on blithely, "and I have a Porsche. Not as much leg room as a Beamer, but so much hotter, I'm told.
A man was on his way to the gallows when he met another, who asked him: where are you going, my friend? and the condemned man replied: i'm not going anywhere. they're taking me by force.
Ooh, bet that went over like a fart in church.
For God's sake. Don't do that."
"Don't do what?"
"Smile."
"How do you know I'm smiling?"
"I can hear it. Hell, I can feel it. It's all warm and sweet and ... " He scowled. "Bah.
Women laugh in such ways that we can't see the fences in their breathing
Can either one of you actually fly?"
"Ummm ... define fly."
I heard cursing over the radios.
If you Ever say Anything about fairies knitting for two gay men again, I will fire you, Then I will knit you a noose, do you hear me?
Craw outburst at Jeremy's comment.
There was a rare quality about Nurse Grace's smile. It was the knowledge that sooner or later her smile would inspire some witty observer to say something around the lines of, "Every time you do this, an angel farts".
Hey, angel, your horns are sticking up.
Oh my god, I am so awesome!" Leo bellowed.
"So awesome!" Echo yelled back.
"He is funny," a nymph ventured.
"And cute, in a scrawny way," another said.
"Scrawny?" Leo asked. "Baby I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.
Heh! Fuck yew," I said.
We stop at a red light.Mom stares at me."You like him"
"OH GOD,MOM."
"You do.You like this boy."
"He's just a friend.He has a girlfriend."
"Anna has a boooy-friend," Seany chants.
"I do not!"
"ANNA HAS A BOOOY-FRIEND!
Tell your friends I am the last of a dying race,' it said, grinning its sunken grin as it staggered and lurched down the proch steps after her. 'The only survivor of a dying planet. I have come to rob all the women ... rape all the men ... and learn to do the Peppermint Twist!
You're pretty sexy when you're domestic." I told him, running a hand up the back of his thigh.
"If you think this is hot, you should see me change a diaper."
"I have, actually: why do you think I married you? That and your accent. Oh and your giant penis.
Show me your Booty **** Oh Oh Oh Oh
Angel, getting you off is ninety-nine percent of the fun for me.
Laugh as much as you can.
I can't think of enough expletives to perfectly capture this moment.
Someone asked me if a book is a he or a she.
I said - 'It's definitely your opposite sex that's why you want to hold it.
Not funny ha ha, funny weird
At breakfast one Saturday I decided to tell Hank my desire to go back to work. He explodes, 'What can you do? You can't make enough to buy your own Kotex
I laughed. "Yeah, right. If anyone gives you trouble, he'll hump their leg like a berserker."
"Hey! I haven't humped anyone in months." The demon pursed his lips".
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
Every time I look at you, I'm either so pissed I can't stand the sight of you or so fucking horny I can't take my eyes off you. I don't think I have to tell you which I prefer.
I swallowed. "So which is it now?"
I'm looking at you aren't I?
Sassy want a mousey??!! -Syd The Long Lost (Hayle Coven #5)
Satan came to a lawyer and told him he would give him fame and fortune in exchange for his soul and the souls of his wife and children. The lawyer hesitated and examined Satan closely.'Okay," he said,"what's the catch?
You are a fridge with wings. We're freaking ballet dancers.
The logistics of breaking you are easy. The only question is when."
"Right. If you could do it, you would have done it already."
"Maybe you entertain me." He says with supreme confidence as if he's in control of the situation.
"Like a monkey with an attitude and a pair of scissors.
My lover asks me: "What is the difference between me and the sky?" The difference, my love, Is that when you laugh, I forget about the sky
Ayden and I clapped our hands over our ears when the shrieking started.
"Yes. I can see that you're enthused," Jayden tried to speak over the girls' squealing, "but you need - "
Danica snatched the backstage passes from Jayden. "No way!"
"Uh, yes. Way?" Jayden said.
Oouuu, you nasty man!
Only cut off a buttock of each of those ladies,' said he,'and you'll fare extremely well; if you must go to it again, there will be the same entertainment a few days hence; heaven will accept of so charitable an action, and send you relief.
If you don't stop, I'm going to take you right here, in front of God, Jacob, and the seagulls.
What the hell are you doing?"
"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"
"It looks like you're putting pants on that dog."
"Then that's what the hell I'm doing.
Well, yeah," he said. "But before that, my grand romantic gesture would have totally gotten me laid."
I laughed pretty hard, hard enough that I felt where the chest tube had been.
"You laugh because it's true," he said.
I laughed again.
"It's true, isn't it!
So, you think your coffee-addicted mother is amusing." She pushed at his shoulder. "I'll get even with you. I'll show your naked baby pictures to your girlfriend." ~ Chapter 9 The Truth and Nothing but Lies
I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!"-Gazzy
Daddy,' my mother asked, 'aren't we going to run out of gas?'
No there's plenty of god-damned gas.'
Where are we going?'
I'm going to get some god-damed oranges!
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
When we reached the stairs, I could hear somebody scream.
"should I call the police?" Prosper asked me.
"No," I said "Find a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil, and sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each," and I left him gaping at me and ran up the stairs.
Do you want to work out with me tonight?' he asks.
I waggle my eyebrows. 'And here I thought we were working out.'
He laughs. 'God, I love you.
You never know what funny can do.
This was so unfunny, Steve had to laugh.
And then he said "shh...", but she just laughed
Your face is flushed, did you know that?"
"Well," she said.
"I'm frustrated."
"Don't make me angry-kiss you."
"Give me the laundry."
"Tempers rising, faces flushed ... This is how it happens."
That made Cath laugh.
That got me to laughing too. His laughter, like his yelling, got into you until you was right soaked with it. So you couldn't help yourself. But it felt good. Light. I tell you, I hadn't felt like that in a long while.
I was doing curls. Hawk said, "How you and Susan doing?" "Love is lovelier," I said, "the second time around." "Worth the scramble," Hawk said.
When a desperate, hungry spirit appears and makes the guinea pigs squeal it is because he knows where to put the live wire of sex, because he knows that beneath the hard carapace of indifference there is concealed the ugly gash, the wound that never heals.
What are they all doing there? Throwing a hellacious slumber party?" when no one said anything, I added, "Get it? Hellacious? Because they're all ... Forget it.
Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the circus.
Kid,' he laughed 'you're crazier than a shithouse rat in an Indian restaurant but you've got yourself a deal. Vinny! Lace up, you and the KFC are going three rounds.
You're flightier than a hummingbird on crack.
If this were a musical, this would signal the start of a dance number. Angry girls sexy danse in unison around the bull pen. Men stride up and grab a partner to a choreographed tango."
Nolan held his hand out.
"Give me your man card. You have never sounded more like a girl than right now.
Steal me something, Pim. After all, you're already stealing something of mine." My
She touched her finger to his lips and smiled slightly. "You just made me very happy, Nick Barrett."
"Yeah, but what do we tell the grand kids if it goes that far?"
"Tell them the truth," she whispered, "Grandma kicked your ass."
From "THE PRIDE
A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what'll it be? The duck doesn't answer because it's a duck.
Is that the beginning of an amused grin forming on the angel's face?
After a murmur of general assent, Ariadne spoke up. "And oh my God, I have to pump my boobs. You guys, you don't even know. It's like having blue balls strapped to your chest!" After a horrified silence, the men practically ran screaming from the building.
You threaten my balls every day."
"That's because they're hanging around my sister," Rose snaps. I hate that she makes a good point. "And you have full right to threaten my eggs or fallopian tubes. Have at them."
I grimace. "I'm not going anywhere near your vagina.
You smell like a bar," he said.
I thought, You smell like a library. But I wanted to have sex right then, so I said, "You smell like a poem.
(Seth) "So," he said, looking me up and down, "you're what the fuss was all about. I can't say I'm impressed." He sneered at me. "Still riding bulls, cowboy?"
(Weber) "Nope." I smirked at him. "I only ride his cock now.
A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. "Oh dear," she says, "Not the breathalyser again."
Oooh you think I'm cute when I'm angry?? Well get ready, cause I'm about to get GORGEOUS!
Such an angry little angel. Your wings are certainly dirty. They're black."
"Like your heart.
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?"
"Funny haha or funny strange?"
James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'"
"Ah. Funny strange"
James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one
Jayden's brain stalled. He just called you fit! the voice shrieked. It was beside itself. He just called you fit! That settles it, he's gay, gay as a christening robe, now get your head out of the sink and kiss him! "Um," he said instead. "You get brain freeze under there?
I wake up and I see the face of the devil and I ask him, "What time is it?"
And he says,
How much time do you want?
I am not your wicked witch," Alexandrine said.
"Beg to differ there," Nikodemus said. "You sure as hell are."
"I'm your sworn fiend," she returned. Between Xia's body and hers, she moved her hand over Xia's crotch. "But I'm his wicked witch."
"Fuck, yes," Xia said.
I went into the gas station, said, Fill 'er up, Harry. The guy said, Regular? I said, No, put on a gorrila suit and dance like a fairy.
Steve turned to us again, looking so dang enthusastic that I wondered how much coffee he'd had this morning. "So, you kids want to be big stars, eh?"
God, no!" I said spewing crumbs. "No way!"
Oddly, this seemed to throw a petite wrench into the convo.
Sometimes, when you want to laugh, reality steps in.