Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Hemorrhoids. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Hemorrhoids Quotes And Sayings by 96 Authors including Parker Tyler,Jean Genet,Dane Cook,Dahlia L. Summers,Alan Dean Foster for you to enjoy and share.

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No anal problems here.
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Ah those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!
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Are there glass shards in my anus?
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Noctis ... this is a little embarrassing, but ... your male anatomy is bothering me.
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The Ileenium system?
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I bleed like nobody else.
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I'm bleeding inside where no one will see. Where no one will ever know to look.
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I bear a deep red stain that runs from my left shoulder down to my right hip, a trail left by the herbwitch's poison that my mother used to try to expel me from her womb.
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Oh, sweet peaches and cream, this hurts."

"Child, what have you done to your foot?"

Beth glanced down to see blood dripping from the side of her sandal. "Crap."

"Honey, that's blood. That calls for a shit or a damn or something stronger than crap.
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the squares on your abdomen have been reabsorbed, like tiny islands in a rising sea of lard.
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To call you excrement would be an insult to the product of my bowels.
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Crusted bloodstains marred the carpet everywhere, with chunks of matted gore thrusting from their centers, like ebony volcanoes oozing rivers of tissue. A
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Over my lifetime, I've had an interesting relationship with poop...the rectum is a grand thing. My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts.
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What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his bowels!
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A fistula is a passage between two things that ought never to be joined and is, generally speaking, a bad thing.
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I finished grating a root and dropped the stub into a jar on the desk. Bloodroot is aptly named; the scientific name is Sanguinaria, and the juice is red, acrid, and sticky. The bowl in my lap was full of oozy, moist shavings, and my hands looked as though I had been disemboweling small animals.
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I only bleed when I'm all alone
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What hostile parasite is tunneling through her sphincter? (Zarina)
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Jesus's bloody tears.
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Hoddies are pants for your arms!
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Great rolls of toilet paper arc like ejaculate through the black sycamores.
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Diaper that leaks onto the floorboard of my car while I'm stuck in
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Where is the bane of my existence?"
"In the shower, freshening up."
Damn it all to hell. "Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now?"
"No, no, he's covered in blood."
"Oh good." Wait a minute. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us.
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There's no medical term for what I've got.
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I can't stop bleeding and I can't stop having sex with corpses.
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I should probably start with the blood.
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I've got this terrible hernia. People think it's a fat gut, but it's not.
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I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha.
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my nose bled like a firework
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Go on, son, you're not doing me any good by bleeding.
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If it's bleeding then kill it, if it's not bleeding, then make it bleed and kill it
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Chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time.
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Does a toilet seat get ass?
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The blood of too many, dissolving the very stain.
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What's the bleedin' point?
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I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."
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Reminder: Dump Brains and Bowels in Hazmat Bin!
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Get up, and wipe your lip, Camille. It seems you are bleeding.
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When you mix raisins and turds, you've still got turds.
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The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is hemorrhage.
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Blood!" Froi said, horrified. "Loins? Same loins you stick
"
"Froi!" Trevanion snapped.
"Flowing at times like a gutted pig," Evanjalin said.
"Evanjalin!
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The anger and shame of these women I hold in one hand, and the basin in the other. The distance between the two, the length I pace and try to measure, is the size of an abortion.
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Listeria, wisteria. Ha. Funny words. She
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I bleed all the time. I play golf and stuff, so there's always something, nicks and stuff here and there.
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My arms are up to the elbows in blood. That is the most terrible thing that lies in my soul.
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A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you're going to have to hurry, before I bleed out all over the carpet.
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Disturbing crunch as
Skin is punctured for access
Sweet, warm, filling blood
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Do you want to have to tell the doctor at the emergency room that the reason your wound opened up was because you couldn't keep your you know what in your pants." "First of all, I don't think I'd have to say you know what in front of the doctor.
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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
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It's only when the blood is bright red, and a terrible lot all at once, that ye worry.
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I just had an operation for piles - all my troubles are behind me.
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Sometimes we don't know how heavily we bleed until our skin is peeled back.
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Great steaming elephant turds!
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A pox on all meads!
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Bleeding for a decade
For a decade,
We bleed like there is no hell but the earth
We bleed like we were born to dare
We bleed like there is nothing alive inside.
We find a clue
After a decade
Bleeding is just to breath
Simply keeps us alive.
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The buttocks are the most aesthetically pleasing part of the body because they are non-functional. Although they conceal an essential orifice, these pointless globes are as near as the human form can ever come to abstract art.
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Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.
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Wow. And there it is. Your inner asshole just bled through.
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He even brags about his poops,
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You never know what's lurking in the bloodstream, or skulking under the foreskin, or squatting in the liver, or flitting hither and thither from branch to branch in the bronchial forest.
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It's called ergot. Smell
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You need a bad operation.
Gimme the scissors, hammer, flame.
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These are the screams within these are the life streams bleeding from skin
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Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.
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Blood? Lava? Evil ketchup?
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Oh, I'm dying,' I like moaned. 'Oh, I have a ghastly pain in my side. Appendicitis, it is. Ooooooh.' 'Appendy shitehouse,' grumbled this veck.
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Excrement, meet air-moving device.
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bleeding heavily, her eyes flat with
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The blood in my body seems to be pooling in my cock.
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The putrid carnal waste dump my skin and hair had become. An irate woman beating me with her placenta would have been more welcome than the copious amount of ... snot gluing my fingers together.
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- You know what this is?
- Nope
- It's a bowel disruptor. And you are just full of shit.
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Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.
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A stitch in time saves uncontrollable blood loss
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The ants say: aren't we all bleeding a little?
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The road to health is paved with good intestines!
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Bleeding is for those who suck enough to get injured.
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I have maggots in my scrotum.
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If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior's hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems.
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The saga of semen stained sheets continues.
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Periods are the only thing i can think of where its a problem if you don't bleed
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I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery ass
Just to disrupt the misery of history class.
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if you're not guilty how come you're bleeding?
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But what are they?" Annie asked.
"An omphalos, probably," said Jacob.
"A what, dear?" Melinda asked.
"A bellybutton of the world."
"I didn't know it had one.
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A squalid phantasmagoria of breath
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A pox on both his testicles! (Esperetta)
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The rectum of Wybo Gerritszoon releases a hot fart of horror.
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The allegory of blood.
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There's only one cure for weirdness."
"Anal?
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Did you get any blood on your breasts? I'm willing to go the extra mile.
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Told I talked too much
made too much noise

I took up a silent hobby -
Bleeding.
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The wound that bleedeth inward is most dangerous.
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Bleeding ulcers run in my family, we give them to each other.
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Cushions had been sliced apart and were bleeding stuffing onto the floor.
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I had never been so extravagantly proud of having blood that clotted.
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Bad news? Oh, festering fungus! What sort of bad news?
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We are gods with anuses.
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Blood! Blast! And Fire
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Some maniac butcher is trying to hack away your balls.
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Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!
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You had me at 'blood allergy.