Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Santa. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Santa Quotes And Sayings by 87 Authors including Kathryn Perez,Thomm Quackenbush,David Sedaris,Charles Dickens,David Levithan for you to enjoy and share.
Holy Santa Claus shit, Nic! -- Kathryn Perez
I used to figure that Santa was the zombie. Not like modern zombies, more like the voodoo ones. The elves resurrect this long dead saint to do their festive bidding every year because they were magically restricted to the North Pole. It's entirely possibly my mom let me watch too many horror movies. -- Thomm Quackenbush
We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan ... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the Satan for the world Santa. -- David Sedaris
come in! and know me better, man! I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me! You have never seen the like of me before! -- Charles Dickens
Why doesn't Santa just park the god-damn sleigh in the driveway like a normal guest? (Your Temporary Santa) -- David Levithan
Santa Claus is a lie but if you think that's bad, check out what 'fuck' really means. -- Andrew Smith
The problem is not that Santa stops existing but that we do. The children we are no longer exist, a fact we do not help through immersing ourselves in the repeating cycle of wake, work, dinner, internet, sleep. -- Thomm Quackenbush
I keep 3 hos but don't call me Santa And I'm and I'm flyer than reindeers in winter -- Nicki Minaj
Let's face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they're "good for goodness' sake." We've transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. -- Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
Maybe we should spend less time teaching kids to believe in Santa and more time teaching them to believe in themselves. -- Brooke Hampton
Most of the holiday movies I enjoy, like 'It's a Wonderful Life,' don't really involve Santa. -- George Wendt
The real Santa Claus is at the mall. -- Lemony Snicket
God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time. -- Bil Keane
The door opens with a rusted jingle, and an animatronic Santa insults my moral virtue three times. Ho, ho, ho. -- Kiersten White
What is red, white and black all over and says "Ho! Ho!"? Santa Claus after he has came down the chimney. -- Beverly Adams
The dude in red's back at the pole,
Up North where everything is cold.
But if he were right here tonight,
He'd say 'Merry Christmas! And to all, a good night!' -- Kurtis Blow
The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than generosity. Any Santa who tried it would have gotten a bullet in his holly, jolly keister. -- Thomm Quackenbush
This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found. -- Paul Park
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist. -- Francis Pharcellus Church
Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus! -- Louis Sachar
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? -- Arlo Guthrie
For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus. -- Rickie Lee Jones
Of course, my Christmas is (so much more) gorgeous and romantic (than Germany's)!! And unlike the rest of the world, we leave wine behind for Santa Claus!"
"So Santa-san is delivering gifts to children while driving under the influence ... ? -- Hidekaz Himaruya
You're upsetting the black Santas. -- John Green
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket. -- Henny Youngman
I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus! -- Edith Piaf
This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy mythology. Personally, of course, I believe in Santa Claus; but it is the season of forgiveness, and I will forgive others for not doing so. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Having in our childhood felt primal awe for the spectacle of the holiday, we are told to age into feeling sullen and resentful. You are supposed to proclaim Santa dead like preadolescent Nietzsches and decry the whole month as an orgy of crass commercialism. -- Thomm Quackenbush
It's a foolish girl who waits for Santa. -- Chris Dee
It's easy to look like Santa Claus when you don't have to buy the groceries. -- Claire Cook
Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are. -- Truman Capote
It was almost Christmas, and a Santa Claus in a vacant lot was offering to appear in pictures for five dollars. The trim on his suit was mangy, as if it had been dug out of a dumpster, yet young mothers queued ten deep on the sidewalk, holding the hands of kids waiting to get in. -- Garth Risk Hallberg
Santa Claus and all his little presents tend to get in the way of God's message."
"As can religion," Santa replied. -- Brom
He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa. -- Augusten Burroughs
It was a beautiful, clear Southern California kind of Christmas Eve, the kind where Santa shows up in khaki shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and shades, flashing a peace sign with one hand and sipping a Corona with the other. -- Z.a. Maxfield
In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins? -- Rush Limbaugh
Dear Santa Claus, just a last note before you take off. I hope you have a nice trip. Don't forget to fasten your seat belt. -- Charles M. Schulz
Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?!
Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.
Calvin: Oh. -- Bill Watterson
I never saw a department store Santa as a kid. My mother was afraid to take me. -- Terry Zwigoff
Well if it's Santa on an early shift, I hope he's brought plenty of coal. -- Tabitha Mcgowan
Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to do it, but it's just not real. -- Floyd Landis
Santa is a much bigger and more powerful faery than Toot, and I don't know his true name anyway. You'd never see me trying to nab Saint Nick in a magic circle even if I did. I don't think anyone has stones that big. -- Jim Butcher
We may deny the truth of our childhoods while we are living them, but we one day realize the truth of our parents as readily as we do that of Santa. Neither are as perfect as our memories would have them ... -- Thomm Quackenbush
Q: Which one of Santa's reindeer is the cleanest? A: Comet! -- Arnie Lightning
The magic of Christmas is not in the presents, but in His presence. -- Unknown
No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. -- Al Smith
Christmas is not only where you find it; it's what you make of it. -- Trina Schart Hyman
Do some good to the ghetto, Mr. Kris Kringle.
Come and stay awhile, kick it with God's Angels.
Take and acknowledge my wisdom and understand
That Santa Claus is a black man. -- Keith Murray
Santa cAme early this year! good things come to those who wait! #rebelheart -- Madonna Ciccone
This Santa's beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn't fucking around. -- David Levithan
You have got to be kidding. Where'd they find it?"
"I like to think it was Santa finally coming through on years of passionate but ignored childhood letters. -- Lia Habel
Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year - and yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. -- W.j. Cameron
Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th. -- Roy Blount Jr.
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. -- Francis Pharcellus Church
To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down. -- Dana Gould
Christmas is best pondered, not with logic, but with imagination. -- Max Lucado
I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12! -- Danielle De Niese
I seriously doubt that the Santa police do an underwear check.
-Cora -- Sarah Dessen
To the top of the tower, to the top of the wall! Now fart away, fart away, fart away all!" Santa cried, and then the reindeer took off running over the lawn. Suddenly, they all let out a giant reindeer fart, and Santa's sleigh flew up into the air! -- J.b. O'neil
I wish we could get a real tree," Bug says. "Then at least we'd have one real tradition, since that whole Santa thing's a bust. I mean, if parents are gonna make up a cool story, at least do it realistically. Like, have the guy use FedEx or something-no way reindeer can fly with all that weight. -- Sarah Ockler
After you stop believing in santa claus, the whole world just goes downhill -- Tom Clancy
Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes. -- Janet Evanovich
All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes. -- Maud Lindsay
Without missing a beat he said, "This year, Santa, I'd like a pony and an Easy-Bake Oven."
Raja grunted and pushed him off to the side. "You'll be getting coal in a place where it hurts if you ever attempt to sit in my lap again. -- Karsten Knight
An elfin wish have I but one.
I wish it once and then 'tis done.
There's magic in this gift say I,
Whoever pulls this sleigh will fly. -- Moe Price
In your hurry to keep Christmas, you have forgotten Christmas. The truest gift of Christmas is the gift of self. -- Richard Paul Evans
Who is not a love seeker when December comes? Even children pray to Santa Claus. -- Rod Mckuen
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. -- George Carlin
Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God. -- Scott Dikkers
Santa Claus ran his finger across the rough parchment, lightly tracing the inscription below. "Charity unto others brings its own reward," he whispered. -- Brom
During this Christmas season, when the world seems to be in turmoil, wars are breaking out in different places, crime is rampant, and many things are happening that are great sins in the sight of God. But in that crib is the person who grew up to save us. And He did. -- Billy Graham
If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves. -- Ted Strickland
If we are to have the very best Christmas ever, we must listen for the sound of sandaled feet. We must reach out for the Carpenter's hand. With every step we take in his footsteps, we abandon a doubt and gain a truth. -- Thomas S. Monson
Mum looks like someone has told her that Santa will be shortly arriving with that guy from Pride and Prejudice in tow. -- Melissa Keil
Christmas is a matter close to the heart. -- Kristian Goldmund Aumann
Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. -- Charles M. Schulz
The fact is that Santa and Satan are alter egos, brothers; they have the same origin. -- Phyllis Siefker
Christmas it too large to be tucked away in the toe of a child's stocking. -- Gerald Stanley Lee
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. -- Milton Berle
It was the night before Christmas. -- John Green
Whoever makes great presents, expects great presents in return. -- Martial
Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote. -- Pierre Desproges
Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness. -- Mo Rocca
He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. -- Roy L. Smith
On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind. -- David Sedaris
If Madison had a gun, she'd shoot out the sound system pumping "Jingle Bells" through her office speakers. Instead, she bit off Rudolph's chocolate head and pointed a finger at the brightly colored, foil-wrapped Santa on her desk. "You're next, big guy. -- Debbie Mason
I am the ghost of Christmas futures, George! -- Fredrik Backman
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. -- Bob Hope
When I was 21 years old, I had a job playing Santa Claus in a shopping centre in Sacramento. I was rail thin, so it's not like I was a traditional Santa Claus even then. I had a square stomach; that was the shape of the sofa cushion that I had stuffed into my pants. -- Tom Hanks
Unto us Saviour is born at Christmas.
The love and light of the World. -- Lailah Gifty Akita
When I was a kid, I believed in Santa Claus. But it was very tough because in the Dominican ... there are not a lot of rich people there. -- Alfonso Soriano
The three phases of Santa belief:
(1) Santa is real.
(2) Santa isn't real.
(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. -- Alton Thompson
You better watch out.
You better not cry.
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why,
Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. -- Craig Ferguson
A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!" cried a cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooge's nephew, who came upon him so quickly that this was the first intimation he had of his approach. "Bah!" said Scrooge, "Humbug! -- Charles Dickens
A CHRISTMAS CAROL -- Charles Dickens
Merry Christmas!' someone shouted.
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
'C-cookies for ever'body!' Sammy hollered. And looking both ways, they all fled across to the light, and the warmth, and the books, and the mystery. -- Jan Karon
Some stupid fairy tale charecter. Like a cheap plastic toy you'd get get by sending in the top of a lucky charms box plus $3.99 shipping and handling. -- Maryrose Wood
Even in a man without character, there's still a spark of Christmas. -- Kristian Goldmund Aumann
You know what? From now on, I think I'm going to call you Mister Christmas. -- Fern Michaels
We need a Savior. Christmas is an indictment before it becomes a delight. -- John Piper