Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Spamalot. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Spamalot Quotes And Sayings by 96 Authors including Kevin Mitnick,Shalom Auslander,Janey Smith,Orville Redenbacher,Monica Murphy for you to enjoy and share.
I use Spam Arrest because of the amount of junk mail I get. Any legitimate person who wants to send me a message has to jump through hoops before they can be added to my opt-in list.
This, said Mother, as she handed him a piece of dry, tasteless matzoh, is the bread of our affliction. Where, young Kugel wondered, is the seven-layer cake of our salvation? Where is the muffin of our mirth? Where is our no-longer-reduced-to-jelly doughnut?
Tasty Chocolate Cake
Every once in a while, someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop. I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back to them.
A text from Fable and it says one word. Marshmallow
I get more spam than anyone I know.Spam-- Bill Gates
Christmas it too large to be tucked away in the toe of a child's stocking.
Something that just came out of me. It was a bit of mischief.
Tangerine clam, and a professional desktop computer that suggested a Zen ice cube. Like bell-bottoms that turn up in the
Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis.
Every week, I heave open a supermarket skip and find therein a more exotic shopping list of items than I could possibly have invented - Belgian chocolates, ripe bananas, almond croissants, stone-ground raisin bread - often so much it would have fed a hundred people.
A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.
could tell that one of the Russian proverbs he loved was on the way. 'The only place with free cheese is a mousetrap
strange and imported foods.
Powdered doughnuts I will look for powdered doughnuts in the wilderness here doughnuts
Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?"
"No! Good God, no!
What day is so festal it fails to reveal some theft?
Despite rumors to the contrary, a mime is actually a very satisfying thing to waste.
Instead of replying with my usual open-your-mind speech, I send love to my mother. Mom, I love you even though you are a critical, unforgiving horror show. This casserole sucks, but I like the way you roasted the walnuts.
A startled giggle burst out of me. Paranormal Management Society. PMS. I hadn't even thought of it like that.
Hot crumpets with butter and jam - what could be more ambrosial?
Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.
Forward my mail to Mars.
What is [insert name here]? Does it taste good?
Bringing you 'raisins and almonds' and words (from a Yiddish lullaby
Peanut butter is a poor man's marmalade.
Farsi Couplet:
Ba khak darat rau ast maara,
Gar surmah bechashm dar neaayad.
English Translation:
The dust of your doorstep is just the right thing to apply,
If Surmah (kohl powder) does not show its beauty in the eye!
rectangular slab of mincemeat that everyone, including the servers, referred to as baked turd.
Bought marmalade? Oh dear, I call that very feeble.
I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
The funniest thing is that now I know what reverse spam is. You know you get spam from people saying, 'Can you invest in this or that?' People are now e-mailing me saying, 'Oh my God, can I invest in your company?' It's a reverse solicitation of money.
Five of the most dangerous words I know: 'What's in it for me?
E-mail is a victim of its own success.
I don't get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies.
Not baked goods! BAKED BADS!!!!"
--The Tick
Peace and love, peace and love!
Excerpt from Magel's Daughter:
"I think we're all like the lutefisk, steeped in poison, and then we try to clean it up for Christmas.
Didn't open the box? What was it last time? Didn't know what it was? And yet we do keep finding each other, don't we? - Cenobite
Never take drugs before Marmalade
If you can't sent money, send tobacco.
When I'm in the U.K. I can't resist Maltesers and Twiglets - the evil combination. Luckily, I live in the U.S. so can't get them easily, which is probably a good thing.
I like Sultana cookies - they are so, so, so good. I think the best in the world.
Snatched away like socks glommed off the sale table at Wal-Mart, dog treat snapped up by an eager German Sheppard, mouse picked off the lawn by a swooping owl.
I love samosas filled with mincemeat. My mum makes really great ones.
gifts - that strange word, a signifier meaning disappointment you can hold in your hands.
The United Metropolitan Improved Hot Muffin and Crumpet Baking and Punctual Delivery Company.
In my garden I pick a musk melon feeling like a thief
I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.
ANGELFOOD
NNAA NNM NWNWNW V
Is that a type of food
Friendship Bread
Dear Santa, WTF...
Love of Chocolate
Gold wrapped old crap.
traditional British tea.
My favorite random email I got was from some guy who wrote: Mr. Max, with the hope of a six year old on the night before Christmas asking about Santa, I ask the same question: Do you really exist?
Exile: A tomb in which you can get mail.
The boy shivered. The bear sniffed the air.
"What do you smell now?" said the boy.
"Danger!" said the bear.
The boy looked alarmed. The bear sniffed again.
"Or maybe marmalade," said the bear.
The boy gave him a dubious stare.
"Possibly both," said the bear.
To all pimps and whores a merry syphilis and a happy gonorrhea.
oatmeal. She was close to Miyako. The
poxy shitweasel,
Some call it stocking, I call it love.
the envelope. "And our best wishes.
Mongolian Fondue," I say. "Very authentic.
vanilla with a twist.
My inbox is the enemy.
Razzmatazz topped with hot fudge, strawberries, rainbow sprinkles, and whipped cream. It looked nasty, but you had to admire a guy secure enough to order sprinkles.
Pott's, to whom I handed the work for translation, giving him a box of sperm candles
It's a date."
"It's a cookie."
"It's a cookie date.
What's my favourite food? One you order out.
If you can't send money, send tobacco.
Tiramisu for desert.
Gift bread chokes in a man's throat and poisons his blood, and sits like lead upon the heart.
Appleblossom can't believe the taste of the dark square. Is tehre a way to describe this morsel of goodness? It is so sweet adn smooth. It makes a green snail seem like an old pinecone seed, and every possum knows that a green snail is fantastic eating.
Hare Krishna, Peace and Love
If you are sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.
Yours is ... il sent comme lavande."
Is that French for 'You stink'?"
It means 'lavender'."
Huh." She sniffed at her wrist. "I thought I smelled more like a grape Popsicle.
The tongue-in-cheek Yiddish-English "translation" for R.S.V.P. is "Remember to Send Vedding Presents.
A gift by women, for women.
The satisfaction of a special Pninian craving.
The author wishes to thank: Good fortune, Godiva chocolates, and Slim-Fast
Kids store 10.000 songs on the home computer, after having pricked them on the Net. The company, of the deputies, the senators find that virtuous! However, it is a moral problem: you will not fly, learns one with our children. Moreover, these plunders via the Net are carried out in the anonymat.
Real Love Spread Real Happiness!
And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
Every time I come home, and every time before I leave, I invite all my friends and I get hummus from this little shack in Tel Aviv called Baadunas.
Worldfoam. I like that. It sounds fluffy.
Peanuts/Peanut Butter
Yikes. Yahoo. Yum.
Cake," said Mma Ramotswe quickly. "That is Mr J.L.B. Matekoni's great weakness. He cannot help himself when it comes to cake. He can be manipulated very easily if he has a plate of cake in his hand.
Nest of Soviet fellow travelers clacking busybodies in a Soviet jellyfish front, sitting here in Leesburg oozing out their funny little propaganda and making nuisances of themselves.
These are delicious! What are they?"
"Double chocolate chip with peanut butter filling."
"They're the second best thing I've ever tasted."
I laughed. "You said the same thing at dinner."
"I recently readjusted the ranking.
A whole roasted lamb - stuffed with lamb sausages, organ and glandbreads, dried fruits and currants, tomato/garlic/onion mush, the entirety cardamomated, corianderized, cumined, cloved - was brought out on a spit, danced around. The carcassbearers were women, further gorgeous bursting Slavs,
We were standing near the Lollipop Forest when we realized that Santa is an anagram of Satan ... Overhearing the customers we would substitute the Satan for the world Santa.
Something made out of words...
I promise to share all my worldly goods-including letters, parcels and other items of correspondence, opened or unopened.
The comfort and sweetness of peace.
(Israeli-style eggs poached in tomato
face touchage"
"lame-sauce"
"Sulky McSulkerton
The time-honored bread-sauce of the happy ending.