Discover the most popular and inspiring quotes and sayings on the topic of Turd. Share them with your friends on social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or your personal blogs, and let the world be inspired by their powerful messages. Here are the Top 100 Turd Quotes And Sayings by 95 Authors including Aasif Mandvi,Jim Gaffigan,William Shakespeare,George R R Martin,Steven Erikson for you to enjoy and share.

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I'm a little bit like a turducken: I'm sort of like an Indian person, wrapped in a British person, wrapped in an American kind of thing.
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A good friend of ours has three cats in her studio apartment and asked me, "Can you tell that I have cats?" I replied, "No, but I can tell you have a box of turds in your living room.
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Thou lump of foul deformity!
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Lumpyface Lumpyhead
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I shall call him Tufty.
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He's the meanest one. We call him..Byrd the Turd
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Neferet, you're nuttier than squirrel turds.
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Did you ever hear of the turd theory?" she asked. He shook his head.
"It goes like this. You think if a certain obnoxious person wasn't in your life, then everything would be just peachy. Then that person is miraculously out of your life, and behold, another turd floats to the top," Jill said.
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You ignorant little slug!" the Trunchbull bellowed. "You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue!
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The Cure: A new dimension of the word 'crap'.
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Rubbish!" screamed a fat, elderly woman, in Richard's ear, as he passed her malodorous stall. "Junk!" She continued. "Garbage! Trash! Offal! Debris! Come and get it! Nothing whole or undamaged! Crap, tripe, and useless piles of shit. You know you want it.
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Cussed fellow-critters! Kick up de damndest row as ever you can; fill your dam bellies 'till dey bust - and den die
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Bubble gum on a turd, Madison! You're a tutti-frutti enforcer. I am a warden. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
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You're nothing but tainted sludge.
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a bag of wet farts. But
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slanderous diarrhea of the mouth.
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Do you have troll turds in your ears?
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poxy shitweasel,
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Still as I've said all along, you can't polish a turd.
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I'm a mean beanbag tosser.
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King: "You're ... you're shit! You shitting, shitting shit!"
"Your Majesty," Durzo said gravely. "A man of your stature's cursing vocabulary ought to extend beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears.
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[On journalists:] They are as disruptive a menace to the public body: as grating turds in the intestines are to the private body.
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If Polity forces were to turn up here, then your king would have to respond, by which time the turd trajectory would be fanwards.
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You miserable vomitous mass,
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Your mama musta had to take a double dose of laxatives to bring you into this world, ya lyin' little turd," he growled, fists clenching at his sides.
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contemptuous cough
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You smell like a litter box.
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Eat dirt evil doer!
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The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: stink. Stank. Stunk.
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He's like a demented ferret up a wee drainpipe.
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cudgel! That's worth thy trouble,
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Rare as rocking-horse turds, these days, feeling halfway to decent, with barely a sick twinge, and he was damned if he'd waste
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Bawdy in thoughts, precise in words,
Ill-natured though a whore,
Her belly is a bag of turds,
And her cunt a common shore.
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Who is this repulsive dwarf?
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The squealing little arse-gerbil.
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What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG!
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Or, rather, you irritate everyone, Curdle. Because you're so unreliable.'
'I'm not always unreliable, Telorast.
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a misbegotten cockwaffle.
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Stenchgator, the Great Unwiped Bum... was listed in the Bumper Book of Bums as the stinkiest bum in the world. Most bums only registered one or two points on the Rectum scale, but Stenchgator came in at a nose-bruising 9.8 points.
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Do as she says, you wormfaced, crawling, sand-brained piece of lizard turd!
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cunt on the blackboard.
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Double crap on a cracker the size of my butt
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It's not shit, it's pee
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I am what you call a hooligan-
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You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching.
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Bruce Percy, a brilliant landscape photographer, once said to me, "You can't polish a turd." Wise words.
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Shite and onions!
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If it's not working you can't polish a turd.
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Life is not like a box of chocolates unless there's a few turds in the box.
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Apparently, it was possible to polish a turd.
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Asshole cunt peepee fuck." "Ah," grinned Old Sludge, showing his one tooth, "going to the company store to get some algae chewies, huh?" "Goddamn poopoo," I would grin back at him.
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Trash is something you get rid of - or disease. I'm not something you get rid of.
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occasional puke puddle.
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You whoreson scalawag!" said I. "You flesh-turd dropped stinking from the poxy arsehole of a hare-lipped harlot!
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misbegotten cockwaffle.
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The scum that rises upmost, when the nation boils.
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The Indian peasant is the world's champion shitter. Stacks of chappaties and mounds of mustard leaf-mash down the hatch twice a day; stacks of shit a.m. and p.m.
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I am the slime oozing out from your TV set. You will obey me while I lead you, and eat the garbage while I feed you.
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Oh incomprehensible pederasts, I shall not heap insults upon your great degradation; I shall not be the one to pour scorn on your infundibuliform anus. It is enough that the shameful and almost incurable maladies which besiege you should bring with them their unfailing punishments.
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Insults are engendered from vulgar minds, like toadstools from a dunghill.
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Your mother's cunt has a peculiar tubular shape!' he yelled. 'Nonetheless, I tolerate its effluvium and enthusiastically lick its inner folds whenever she demands!
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A man who whinnies with noisy laughter, surpasses all the animals in vulgarity.
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Get up, you useless lump, get up!
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You are all made of real poop.
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You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage." "Say what?
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Jesus, Oscar, Rudolfo said nervously. You look like they put a shirt on a turd,
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husk of a vanished person.
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Suck my hemorrhoids!
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You pussy-whipped douche waffle.
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Hope, politeness, the blowing of a nose, the squeak of a boot, all produce boum.
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Every living body continuously eliminates feces, it rejects what is not serviceable to the assimilating organism: what man despises, what arouses his disgust, what he calls evil, are excrements.
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-Pig.
-I prefer the term rutting beast.
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Simon: that's disgusting!
me: what's disgusting?
simon: you know. you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.
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I forget your name," I said.
"Most people spew shit from their arse," he retorted, "you manage it with your mouth."
"Your mother gave birth through her arse," I said, "and you still reek of her shit.
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Egg-sucking son of a porcupine!
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a total fucking gas
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You're a bum-rag covered in clart!
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Kappa are proud and stubborn, but also fiercely honorable; they never break a promise. Kappa will eat almost anything, but they are particularly fond of two foods: cucumbers and raw innards - particularly human anuses. Interactions:
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You worthless excuse for a dung dealer. (Stryder)
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A man who can set out in a cab for a fancy-dress ball and not get there is manifestly a poop of no common order.
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The bedraggled warhorse of American blowhardism.
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I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
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Haesten.
If this world ever contained one worthless, treacherous slime-coated piece of human dung then it was Haesten.
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WORTHLESS, USELESS
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- You know what this is?
- Nope
- It's a bowel disruptor. And you are just full of shit.
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Saer is a great big poop, and you shouldn't listen to anything he says," I said, panting just a little.
"Obviously, he was trying to demoralize me."
"Men who are poops demoralize people all the time," I agreed
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I'm a waste of space.
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I'm a wuss - a complete wuss!
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The crap and the trash of the world. Post-consumer human butt wipe that no one would ever go to the trouble to recycle.
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Reminder: Dump Brains and Bowels in Hazmat Bin!
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Garbage in, garbage out; ask yourself better questions to get better answers--a better life.
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stupid, overbarbering, possesive, fur ball
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I can't believe the poo-osity of my life!
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Shit is another useful word. Also very common. For example, pleasantly surprised? You say 'No shit?' You think someone tells you tales, you scoff 'You're shitting me.' You find something you like very much, you exclaim 'That's good shit!
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The perfection of rottenness.
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Eat it up asshole my vengeance will come.And you will bleed.
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You greasy shit stain on a diseased elk's warty asshole.
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My name is only an anagram of toilets.
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Never call a stomach a tummy without good reason.
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I was swimming with the turd sharks in an ocean made of piss